[zombie punk]

If you were in charge of the Federal Government in the US, what spending priorities would you have if you had this kind of money to spend?

[design219]

Drinks would be on me.

[Uncle Doof]

I'd employ a crack team of police to locate and lock up people who post threads in the wrong place on Internet forums.

[design219]

Seriously, I'd pull funding for the Iraq war and put money into domestic needs, like our transportation infrastructure, healthcare, social security, education, energy research, etc.

See you in the PL.

[brugesman]

Go to Vegas.

[sek929]

666,666,666 cups of coffee.

[osiris]

Everything design219 said, plus milk & sugar for all that coffee sek929 wants. Donuts would be nice too.

and hey everybody, Shakespeare - on me!

[Horsepoo!!!]

I'd fund Blackwater Rogue Civilian Police to cap people that take this thread subject as a joke in the ass. IN THE ASS!!! That means ALL OF YOU...(and me...but I'm paying them so they're not allowed to cap me in the ass...especially since I have another secret budget funding a secret police protecting me from Blackwater bastards from turning on me.)

Also, I've got millions of dollars lining my clothes protecting me like a super-kevlar suit.

[rickey939]

More Rickey Henderson baseball cards.

[wallinbl]

Originally Posted by sek929 

666,666,666 cups of coffee.

If you can't get a bulk rate on that kind of volume, you're a poor negotiator.

[cjrivera]

I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man.
And I think if I were a muti-billionaire I could hook that up, too... 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.

[design219]

Damn, I wish I had remembered that.

[Lava Lamp Freak]

I like money. First I'd pull funding from NASA so they quit crashing probes into Mars. Then I'd invest lots of money into Brawndo. It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes.

I like money, though.

[::maroma::]

Build a giant monument to me. Then build a massive impenetrable fortress where I would rule forever. Forever because I'd also invest the rest of the cash into a way to make me live forever. Muha ha haaaaa.

[finboy]

Originally Posted by zombie punk 

If you were in charge of the Federal Government in the US, what spending priorities would you have if you had this kind of money to spend?

Killing dictators. After making them offers that they couldn't refuse, of course. Cleaning up the mess in Darfur, maybe Africa in general. Closing whorehouses in Thailand, and burning coca fields in Columbia. Etc.

[ort888]

Giant Death Ray.

[Railroader]

Nothing

[SpaceMonkey]

New blinged-out wheel for the MacNN hampstor.

[BRussell]

Buy an iPhone on ebay.

[KeriVit]

Give it to Iraq and walk away from the "war". Ooops! Political.

[Dork.]

I'd pay Brett Favre as much money as it would take to just go away.

(I really want A-Rod to go away, but I don't he'll take a measly 2 billion a week....)

[zro]

I'd get rid of the 19th century technology that powers automobiles.

[Roscoe]

I'd buy Apple, and put a god damn video input on the back of the iMacs. Computers that have optical audio too hook up to a home theater system, a remote, and a huge screen were MEANT to be TV replacements. Not having any sort of input on them is ****ing stupid.

[Roscoe]

Oh, and while I was at it I'd give the iPhone a camera worth having.

[Stogieman]

Originally Posted by Roscoe 

I'd buy Apple, and put a god damn video input on the back of the iMacs. Computers that have optical audio too hook up to a home theater system, a remote, and a huge screen were MEANT to be TV replacements. Not having any sort of input on them is ****ing stupid.

Not being able to upgrade the graphics card if ****ing stupid. Why was that left out? It's not like you haven't bitched about it before.

[ctt1wbw]

Cash it out in ones and go to the strip club.

[d4nth3m4n]

give every citizen $5 a fortnight

[keekeeree]

Try to take over the world! (of course)

[design219]

Originally Posted by keekeeree 

Try to take over the world! (of course)

We can't even take over Iraq.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by design219 

We can't even take over Iraq.

*ala Laminar*

[Horsepoo!!!]

Originally Posted by keekeeree 

Try to take over the world! (of course)

You laugh but this is EXACTLY what's going on with the money. The Federal Reserve is printing money like there's no tomorrow, turning it into toilet paper. The US dollar value is tanking!

People in this thread laughing about this, if you're American, you won't be laughing for very long. I'm dead serious. You are the verge of an economic collapse (and people in the poop thread are on the verge of an rectal prolapse.) You all laugh about it...don't you realize you're paying more nowadays?

All of the people laughing at me when I said that there was a correlation between poverty and crime won't be laughing when you'll be the one raiding your neighbor's fridge for food.

The industrial complex is winning. YOU (and I) are losing.

[Horsepoo!!!]

Originally Posted by design219 

We can't even take over Iraq.

They took over Iraq. And they took over the US. Stop being a dumb ****. Like I keep saying, people will start waking up to this when it's too ****in' late. If you think your government is telling you half the truth...you'd still be wrong. You're not even getting 10% of it.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Hey look, it's everyone's favorite wet blanket.

[Horsepoo!!!]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

Hey look, it's everyone's favorite wet blanket.

Go back to playing your favorite game: Grand Theft Auto 4. You'll feel better.

[design219]

It's members like Horsepoo that keep this place from death.

Well done.

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by design219 

It's members like Horsepoo that keep this place from death.

Well done.

Touché, touché

Originally Posted by Horsepoo!!! 

Go back to playing your favorite game: Grand Theft Auto 4. You'll feel better.

Or you can go back to looking at proof of aliens on YouTube and you can feel better.

[Dork.]

[QUOTE=Horsepoo!!!]You are the verge of an economic collapse (and people in the poop thread are on the verge of an rectal prolapse.)[ /quote]

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by Horsepoo!!! 

Go back to playing your favorite game: Grand Theft Auto 4. You'll feel better.

This would have made a lot more sense if you would have used a game name that's offensive or funny like "Killing Babies 4," instead of using a game he actually likes.

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth 

Or you can go back to looking at proof of aliens on YouTube and you can feel better.

Oh yeah? You should go back to playing your favorite game, HALO 3!!

Ha HA! Got you!

[Jawbone54]

I would buy a Wii, PS3, and 360 so I could finally stop the madness in my life.

Nikon or Canon? Nikon or Canon? Nikon or Canon...

[ctt1wbw]

Originally Posted by Horsepoo!!! 

They took over Iraq. And they took over the US. Stop being a dumb ****. Like I keep saying, people will start waking up to this when it's too ****in' late. If you think your government is telling you half the truth...you'd still be wrong. You're not even getting 10% of it.

Spoken like someone who's been there, done that?

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by Laminar 

Oh yeah? You should go back to playing your favorite game, HALO 3!!

Ha HA! Got you!

I think it was more personal or perhaps a poor attempt at condemning my taste.

[Horsepoo!!!]

Originally Posted by Laminar 

This would have made a lot more sense if you would have used a game name that's offensive or funny like "Killing Babies 4," instead of using a game he actually likes.

Yeah, that's reaaaal funny.

[Doofy]

OK, back on topic.

Q) What would I do with two billion dollars a week?
A) Convert it into real currency and then blow all that real currency on something useful. Like maybe a quarter pound baggie of penny chews.

[Person Man]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

Q) What would I do with two billion dollars a week?
A) Convert it into real currency and then blow all that real currency on something useful. Like maybe a quarter pound baggie of penny chews.

Ok, I'll bite:

What do you mean by "real currency?"

The British Pound? The Euro? The Dooflar? Hard currency (as in gold, silver, etc)?

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Person Man 

The Dooflar?

Correct. I'd been worrying about what to actually call it but that name makes perfect sense to me.

I will shortly be printing up the first batch of Dooflars (as soon as I get new ink for my HP all-in-one) and will be providing you, the general public, with the opportunity to exchange your useless dollars for real currency. Available initially in D$1, D$5 and D$10 bills at an exchange rate of US$1,000 = D$0.001, act fast to place your order. Special limited edition presentation sets available for first 53 customers!

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by Horsepoo!!! 

Yeah, that's reaaaal funny.

Actually, that suggestion would fall more under the "offensive" category. But it seems that there's a context of which I'm not aware, so feel free to disregard my post.

[Person Man]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

Correct. I'd been worrying about what to actually call it but that name makes perfect sense to me.

I will shortly be printing up the first batch of Dooflars (as soon as I get new ink for my HP all-in-one) and will be providing you, the general public, with the opportunity to exchange your useless dollars for real currency. Available initially in D$1, D$5 and D$10 bills at an exchange rate of US$1,000 = D$0.001, act fast to place your order. Special limited edition presentation sets available for first 53 customers!

Don't forget to charge a spread like real banks do, as in "US$1000 = D$0.001" is only the average rate. In real terms, you'll have to pay me US$1100 for D$0.001, and I'll buy them back at a rate of US$900 = D$0.001"

[Dakar the Fourth]

Originally Posted by Laminar 

Actually, that suggestion would fall more under the "offensive" category. But it seems that there's a context of which I'm not aware, so feel free to disregard my post.

I still think your gut instinct was correct.

[Mithras]

A lot of you guys are being really imprudent. I would put it in my savings account.
Well, maybe half a billion in checking and the rest in savings.