[SebNoker]

A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains. He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains. He shows her many textures, prints and hues of pink fabrics. Once she has finally picked out a pink floral pattern, the salesman asked her "What sizes do you need?"

She replies "15 inches."

He exclaims "15 INCHES?! What room are they for?" She says, "I only need one, and it's not for a room. It's for my computer monitor."

The surprised salesman exclaims, "Miss, computers do not
have curtains."

The blond says "HELLOOooooooo.... I've got Windows!"

[imitchellg5]

Wow that is so old.

[Railroader]

I have a horribly dirty mind.

[zro]

Pink curtains and 15 inches? Doesn't really s-t-r-e-t-c-h the imagination to become a totally different joke.

In other words, yes, you are a filthy boy and should wash your mind out with soap immediately.

[calverson]

Would I then need a fruit jar for my Apple?

[sek929]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

I have a horribly dirty mind.

Don't worry RR, I had the same exact idea when I read the first few lines.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

I have a horribly dirty mind.

Originally Posted by sek929 

Don't worry RR, I had the same exact idea when I read the first few lines.

I guess that old "great minds think alike" thing still holds, eh? 'Cause I too was thinking about her having to match something.

[brassplayersrock²]

Her sheets?
Towels?
Lipstick?
Fake hair color?

[design219]

Originally Posted by imitchellg5 

Wow that is so old.

Yeah, I haven't used a 15" monitor in at least 10 years.

[brassplayersrock²]

Nor have I seen a true blonde in 5 years.

[brassplayersrock²]

A girl came skipping home from school one day. ‘Mommy, Mommy,’ she yelled, ‘we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!’ ‘Very good,’ said her mother. ‘Is it because I’m blonde?’ the girl said. ‘Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,’ said the mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school.‘Mommy, Mommy,’ she yelled, ‘we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!’ ‘Very good,’ said her mother. ‘Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?’ ‘Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.’ The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy,’ she yelled, ‘we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!’ And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. ‘Very good,’ said her embarrassed mother. ‘Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?’ ‘No Honey, it’s because you’re 24.'

oh, and:

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² 

Her sheets?
Towels?
Lipstick?
Fake hair color?

Getting warmer...

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² 

Nor have I seen a true blonde in 5 years.

For the past three years, I have had as classmates around 15 natural blondes. Girls, that is. Very attractive and VERY smart. And most of 'em love blonde jokes. Gee it's been rough with all this schooling...

[brassplayersrock²]

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² 

Or not, such as when I don't want two very different ideas mixed together. In this case, I replied to your funnier post first, then decided later that I wanted to weigh in about natural blonds. Probably to gloat...

[brassplayersrock²]

aww, I gotcha

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by sek929 

Don't worry RR, I had the same exact idea when I read the first few lines.

Even my mind immediately went there.

And we all know that I’m the last person anyone could ever accuse of having a dirty mind, so you’re quite safe, RR.

[Railroader]

Sheww!!! That was a close one.

[brassplayersrock²]

That's what she said..... when the test came back negative

[Railroader]

I don't "get" you.

[Dakar V]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

I don't "get" you.

No one does.

[Railroader]

Sheww!!! That was a close one.

[calverson]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

Sheww!!! That was a close one.

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² 

That's what she said..... when the test came back negative

Originally Posted by Railroader 

I don't "get" you.

Originally Posted by Dakar V 

No one does.

Originally Posted by Railroader 

Sheww!!! That was a close one.

[sek929]

Originally Posted by calverson 

Oh, have a cig and lighten up.

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by sek929 

Oh, have a cig and lighten up.

Hahaha

[calverson]

Originally Posted by sek929 

Oh, have a cig and lighten up.

Don't bait me.

[brassplayersrock²]

[calverson]

I am like Lance Armstrong, but with two balls. (props to those who recongize the source of this without having to Google it)

I am strong, and your emoticons, although craving-inducing, shall not provoke me.

[brassplayersrock²]

Here ya go: planet smilies: smoking smilies - free smoking smileys, also known as smoking emoticons.

[sek929]

I'm currently partial to this little guy.

[calverson]

Originally Posted by sek929 

I'm currently partial to this little guy.

Guilty. Nothing better than a smoke when dropping one.

[residentEvil]

Originally Posted by calverson 

I am like Lance Armstrong, but with two balls. (props to those who recongize the source of this without having to Google it)

I am strong, and your emoticons, although craving-inducing, shall not provoke me.

wasn't that on one of the recent comedy central roasts? maybe for bob saget?

[calverson]

Originally Posted by residentEvil 

wasn't that on one of the recent comedy central roasts? maybe for bob saget?

Nope... It was on an HBO TV show, actually.

[residentEvil]

Originally Posted by calverson 

Nope... It was on an HBO TV show, actually.

hmm, okay. sounded familiar but guess not.