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Peter · Oct 30, 2008, 11:51 AM

Imagine you're getting married ... you have to select a MacNN user to give your best man speech and get you wasted etc etc. Who would you choose (and why)?

Oisín · Oct 30, 2008, 12:13 PM

I’m a firm believer that that best man speeches should be as embarrassing and awful as possible, so I’d obviously choose Dakar.

SpaceMonkey · Oct 30, 2008, 12:14 PM

I want to take this opportunity to point out that I'm also available for civil unions and bar mitzvahs.

osiris · Oct 30, 2008, 12:16 PM

I'd pick Dakar too, he's always quick with an insult and is quite good at putting salt on open wounds.

I suppose if I wanted a well articulated speech, it would be Oisin.

If I needed some good poop references, Besson would get the job.

I'm actually going to be faced with this dilemma as I may get married next year.

Laminar · Oct 30, 2008, 12:20 PM

ghporter: The speech would be very well thought out and heart-warming, but it would last at least two hours.
stupendousman: Pass on this, unless you would like to hear the words "unrepentant," "Bradley," and "socialist" mentioned fifteen times each.
osiris: A great choice if your idea of a great bachelor party involves sharks, lasers, and death.
Eug: Bachelor party: Batman Begins on HD-DVD, Best man speech: A half-hour on the benefits of HD-DVD over Blu-Ray
analogue SPRINKLES: The opposite of Eug's
Oisín: You'd get a discussion of the origin of the word "bachelor," in addition to a history of the cultural significance of the bachelor party. Also, he'd find an alcohol he actually liked, get wasted, and hit on all of the other groomsmen
Dakar: For the speech, he'd do something incredibly lame like re-hash a Green Day song Ha! Call-back!
besson: The speech would be ****.

I could keep going, but it's lunchtime.

Lint Police · Oct 30, 2008, 12:24 PM

Philzilla hands down. I believe that dude could toast like no other.

olePigeon · Oct 30, 2008, 12:42 PM

wdlove.

Oisín · Oct 30, 2008, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by Laminar

Oisín: You'd get a discussion of the origin of the word "bachelor,"

Probably creepily accurate.

in addition to a history of the cultural significance of the bachelor party.

Not so likely. Who cares about cultural significance? Just bring on the strippers.

Also, he'd find an alcohol he actually liked, get wasted,

Unpossible.

and hit on all of the other groomsmen

Probably.

Dakar V · Oct 30, 2008, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by Laminar

Dakar: For the speech, he'd do something incredibly lame like re-hash a Green Day song Ha! Call-back!

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
gimme a link, I'm blanking on the call back

osiris · Oct 30, 2008, 12:52 PM

Yeah, hope you had the frickin time of your life.

Oisín · Oct 30, 2008, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar V

For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
gimme a link, I'm blanking on the call back

Oh, don’t be such an American idiot.

Dakar V · Oct 30, 2008, 12:56 PM

Now you guys are making me a Basket Case.

osiris · Oct 30, 2008, 12:56 PM

making?

Dakar V · Oct 30, 2008, 01:00 PM

Originally Posted by osiris

making?

Chump.

osiris · Oct 30, 2008, 01:05 PM

Feel the love.

Rumor · Oct 30, 2008, 01:08 PM

Dakar is really shy and has a tough time speaking in person.

SpaceMonkey · Oct 30, 2008, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by Rumor

Dakar is really shy and has a tough time speaking in person.

It depends on which Dakar shows up.

Dakar V · Oct 30, 2008, 01:36 PM

That's the nice thing, thanks to the cloning I can attend 5 simultaneous events.

...and don't think there won't be fifth clone in waiting in case there are 5 simultaneous accidents, osiris.

Railroader · Oct 30, 2008, 01:39 PM

Doofy: People would be talking about it for years to come.

osiris · 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar V

...and don't think there won't be fifth clone in waiting in case there are 5 simultaneous accidents, osiris.

Damn you, Dakar. Damn you to hell.
And mark my words - with a highlighter, or in your case a crayon - I shall find you and pull you out from under the rock you dwell and you will be my best man, and then I will feed you to the sharks. Bwa ha ha ha haaaaa.

iMOTOR · Oct 30, 2008, 02:01 PM

I'd definitely have IceEnclosure in charge of the Bachelors party.

finboy · Oct 30, 2008, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by olePigeon

wdlove.

OMG there's a blast from the past.

I think vmarks. CRASH wouldn't be bad either.

Rumor · Oct 30, 2008, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by iMOTOR

I'd definitely have IceEnclosure in charge of the Bachelors party.

I concur.

SSharon · Oct 30, 2008, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by olePigeon

wdlove.

I'm already married, but I would have chosen a wdlove - codydawg tag team.
What ever happened to them anyway?

Peter · Oct 30, 2008, 03:12 PM

wdlove got banned for being too wet.

klb5090 · Oct 30, 2008, 04:38 PM

Dakar... for sure

Demonhood · Oct 30, 2008, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by Peter

wdlove got banned for being too wet.

well, that's what he gets for sloppy kissing.

i've always thought there was enough talent here to come up with some pretty good best man speeches, given the opportunity. have the best man give us the pertinent stats on the groom and bride. how they met, what kind of relationship it is, how long they've been together, a funny anecdote, etc. and we'll turn it into comedy gold (or a shameful roast).

i think that's a winner.

imitchellg5 · Oct 30, 2008, 04:43 PM

Either dakar, or doofy, or brass.

KeriVit · Oct 30, 2008, 05:39 PM

Doofy. Cuz he's always nice to me.

Laminar · Oct 30, 2008, 11:49 PM

One of us should have done the best man speech for Rob's wedding. Make it about how awesome SUVs are.

klb5090 · Oct 31, 2008, 12:24 AM

Originally Posted by laminar

one of us should have done the best man speech for rob's wedding. Make it about how awesome suvs are.

ftw!

imitchellg5 · Oct 31, 2008, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by Laminar

One of us should have done the best man speech for Rob's wedding. Make it about how awesome SUVs are.

It would have been even better to show up to the wedding in an H2 stretch limo.

iM@k · Oct 31, 2008, 04:16 PM

what about me? I have recent experience having been BM at two weddings this past August.

sek929 · Oct 31, 2008, 04:20 PM

Instead of a speech I'd have Doof wail on a guitar for ten minutes. After that everybody has to get hammered.

Laminar · Oct 31, 2008, 04:36 PM

Originally Posted by iM@k

what about me? I have recent experience having been BM at two weddings this past August.

And whatever you did wasn't big enough to get on the national news, so we all pass.

Eug · Oct 31, 2008, 11:18 PM

Congratulations on your wedding!

xi_hyperon · Nov 1, 2008, 12:08 AM

Timo and chris_v. No question.

besson3c · Nov 1, 2008, 01:25 AM

besson3c would be my best man.

Veltliner · Nov 2, 2008, 01:55 AM

My own mirror image.

IceEnclosure · Nov 3, 2008, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by iMOTOR

I'd definitely have IceEnclosure in charge of the Bachelors party.

haha

Big Mac · 11:31 AM

Here would be my choices:

vmarks, SSharon, nonhuman, Doofy, Chongo, stupenousman, ghporter, Railroader, Shaddim. . .

sek929 · Nov 3, 2008, 12:54 PM

I hear stupendousman is an unrepentant public speaker.

Shaddim · Nov 3, 2008, 01:20 PM

Doofy or IceEnclosure, because they'd throw the meanest bachelor parties.

Laminar · Nov 3, 2008, 04:17 PM

Originally Posted by sek929

I hear stupendousman is an unrepentant public speaker.

Not just that, but an unrepentant domestic public speaker.

SpaceMonkey · Nov 3, 2008, 04:19 PM

No one would pick johnwk?

- - e r i k - - · Nov 3, 2008, 06:36 PM

"If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?"

rickey939 · Nov 4, 2008, 10:38 AM

ankle_brains or gorickey, not sure.

Mac User #001 · Nov 4, 2008, 06:11 PM

- - e r i k - -.

A chance to see his girlfriend is something I just can't pass up!

Too far?