[besson3c]

I'm just wondering, have any of you guys ever been to a brothel or been with a prostitute?

I've always wondered what they are like.

[Doofy]

Nope. Closest I ever got was a prozzie knocking on my car window and asking if I wanted to party. Told her she couldn't afford me.

[besson3c]

What did she say after you said that? Good thing her pimp wasn't nearby.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

What did she say after you said that?

Nowt. I drove off before she'd recovered from the shock.

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Good thing her pimp wasn't nearby.

Why? Would he have had more money on him?

[besson3c]

Maybe, but he'd also probably try to hit you with his pimp cane, forcing you to run over him with your SUV, leaving a trail back to the Feds.

[Atheist]

I've never quite understood the whole prostitute thing. Are sex partners that hard to find?

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

I've never quite understood the whole prostitute thing. Are sex partners that hard to find?

For ugly blokes with no self-confidence, I guess they are.
There's a dude I know who's still a virgin at 40 (it was real hard to stop myself buying him that film for his birthday). He's never entered the pearly gates so it's hit his confidence hard. Tried fixing him up with chicks to no avail. Even tried to get him signed to "Adult Friend Finder", because those sluts will turn up and do you for free with no messing (so I'm told). Nope. He doesn't even have the confidence for that. I guess he'll become a john in about 10 years.

[dzp111]

I had a prostitute knock on my apartment door late one night asking: "Are you the man of the house?" She was so strung up on either crack or meth it was sad to look at. So I simply told her to try next door. It was hilarious to see my neighbor's reaction. He turned her down too. Apparently she knocked on every tenant's door looking for the "man of the house". (I live in a 6-plex)

[besson3c]

I've never heard them referred to as "sex partners", that sounds very sophisticated.

I've always thought that if you really wanted sex, what would happen if you just politely went up to people and asked? As long as you were really nice, eventually somebody might say yes, right? If they don't, no big deal, you just keep at it and try again, sort of like making cold calls.

I think incorporating the term "sex partner" would help make this pitch a little more polite.. "Excuse, I hate to bother you, but I'm just wondering if you'd have any interest in being my sex partner?"

[dzp111]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

"Excuse, I hate to bother you, but I'm just wondering if you'd have any interest in being my sex partner?"

A book called 'Conversations With God' explains (and agrees) with that notion. I tried it and it didn't work well for me. Got evicted once actually because of it.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I've always thought that if you really wanted sex, what would happen if you just politely went up to people and asked? As long as you were really nice, eventually somebody might say yes, right? If they don't, no big deal, you just keep at it and try again, sort of like making cold calls.

I think incorporating the term "sex partner" would help make this pitch a little more polite.. "Excuse, I hate to bother you, but I'm just wondering if you'd have any interest in being my sex partner?"

I don't know about that polite approach, but apparently "do'ya fancy a f?" usually gets a 10% hit rate (along with a 90% slap rate).

[SpaceMonkey]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I think incorporating the term "sex partner" would help make this pitch a little more polite.. "Excuse, I hate to bother you, but I'm just wondering if you'd have any interest in being my sex partner?"

You need to imply scarcity. A better thing to say would be "Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but I wanted to let you know that I'm currently taking applications for sex partners."

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey 

You need to imply scarcity. A better thing to say would be "Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but I wanted to let you know that I'm currently taking applications for sex partners."

Scarcity is a good tactic. How about the possibility of winning something?

"Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but I'm wondering if you'd like to me by sex partner? For a limited period of time, every fifth person that agrees to have sex with me wins a Ford F-150"

[design219]

http://forums.macnn.com/89/macnn-lou...-prostitution/

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

"Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but I'm wondering if you'd like to me by sex partner?"

There you go, stop there. Everyone knows chicks dig dyslexics.

Or was it dicksexlicks.

[Rumor]

I haven't myself. However, a good friend of mine came to visit after being in Iraq for 3+ years, and like any good friend, I drove him six hours out to the Bunny Ranch in Carson City.

[sek929]

I had dollar bills picked up off of my face by some chick's cooter, does that count?

[macforray]

1982
San Juan, PR
At the Blank Angus Club
$35/ hr. plus tip (optional)
I was in the navy at the time and a bunch (10 - 12) of us went. We were treated very well and we all had a good time, or two, or three.
No regrets. Some of the girls were "pros", and others just "girl next door types" trying to support families. I don't recall any real "skanks" in the place. Everything was very safe and clean.
Again, no regrets and also no other occasions.

[Andy8]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

I've never quite understood the whole prostitute thing. Are sex partners that hard to find?

Exactly.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by macforray 

others just "girl next door types" trying to support families.

That makes me kinda pissed.

[smacintush]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

I've never quite understood the whole prostitute thing. Are sex partners that hard to find?

There's a famous quote that goes something like: "When you pay for a prostitute, you aren't paying them for the sex, you are paying them to leave afterwards."

I have never done it, but I might if I were single and had the extra cash (I would need a decent amount, I ain't doin' no streetwalkers). Not because I am so terribly inept, but because I don't need the bullshit. I don't handle bullshit well.

Then again, I might not. It's kind of a weird thought.

[Shaddim]

Been to a brothel? Yes. Paid for sex? No.

[iM@k]

Getting very close to considering it (see my older threads to get full picture).

[lpkmckenna]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

For ugly blokes with no self-confidence, I guess they are.

I guess you're unaware of the many handsome celebrities who get caught with prostitutes, then?

Never been with a prostitute, never plan to. I'm met many guys in the army who have, and there's no common attribute other than being horny.

BTW, famous but anonymous blogger Belle de Jour has finally outed herself, and she's a scientist - a respected specialist in developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology: http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology...ger-prostitute

[phantomdragonz]

Originally Posted by Shaddim 

Been to a brothel? Yes. Paid for sex? No.

I was dragged to one after sailing across the atlantic in a sail boat (27 days at sea) the people who we went with wanted to go...

No, never paid for anything.

-Zach

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna 

I guess you're unaware of the many handsome celebrities who get caught with prostitutes, then?

I don't understand that at all. Just go out of the house and it's on tap, free.

[lpkmckenna]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I don't understand that at all. Just go out of the house and it's on tap, free.

I think these celebs are more concerned with confidentiality than anything else.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna 

I think these celebs are more concerned with confidentiality than anything else.

So yer average prozzie couldn't just come back a week later and say "give me $10,000 or I'll tell everyone about your birthmarks"? Sounds like these celebs are setting themselves up for a fall.

I work with both celebs and non celebs. And to my knowledge I've never met anyone in my line of work who's been anywhere near a prozzie. Just doesn't happen - and trust me, things get talked about. Maybe it's different over there in the Great Satan, but it doesn't happen here in my sphere. Normal blokes on a stag night or otherwise out on the town, yes, but no celebs.

[hayesk]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

So yer average prozzie couldn't just come back a week later and say "give me $10,000 or I'll tell everyone about your birthmarks"? Sounds like these celebs are setting themselves up for a fall.

The only way that'd be unknown already is if they're in a private location. And if they're in a private location, I can't really imagine a venue where a celebrity would be called on to show the birthmarks and disprove the prozzie. More likely the celeb's publicist would deny it and that'd be the end of it.

[lpkmckenna]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

So yer average prozzie couldn't just come back a week later and say "give me $10,000 or I'll tell everyone about your birthmarks"? Sounds like these celebs are setting themselves up for a fall.

Upscale pros get paid well in exchange for their silence.

[ctt1wbw]

I used to ask them if they could break a twenty. They don't like that much.

[smacintush]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I don't understand that at all. Just go out of the house and it's on tap, free.

See the quote in my post above. They do it because it's uncomplicated and there are no strings attached. No games, no bullshit.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by smacintush 

See the quote in my post above. They do it because it's uncomplicated and there are no strings attached. No games, no bullshit.

You don't have to pay for no BS. All you have to do to get no-BS canoodling for free is say "I am going to roger you senseless for a while. I might deem fit to further roger you senseless at some point in the future, but at this moment in time, you will not move your fluffy toys into my house".

[ort888]

I think the most important thing we can take from this thread is the knowledge of how easily Doofy can find sexual partners.

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by ort888 

I think the most important thing we can take from this thread every Doofy post is the knowledge of how easily Doofy can find sexual partners.

...

[SpaceMonkey]

You forget that sometimes he also posts about how much he hates Tony Blair.

[besson3c]

and the IRS...

I think of Doofy as the perfect guy to have around if there were ever a zombie invasion ala the Zombieland movie. He'd be the perfect Woody Harrelson.

[Doofy]

Wait. How did this become about me?

I can't help it if you people have to pay for it, can I?

[Shaddim]

Originally Posted by ort888 

I think the most important thing we can take from this thread is the knowledge of how easily Doofy can find sexual partners.

It's not really about how hard it is to find sex partners, it's about how difficult it is to find women who only want to be friends. "No, really, we can just be pals. No, you aren't gonna jump my bones, but thanks for the offer."

[shiff]

I am shocked that people in this thread think that sex with any female is ever free. Hell, most of the time a prostitute is a steal!!

[ghporter]

The closest I ever got to either was while driving through the French Quarter in New Orleans in about 1982; I saw a woman in the appropriate "professional attire" leaning against a street light pole...as if she were in some noir-type movie.

[tooki]

They just opened the first legal gay brothel in Zurich. The first legal girlie brothel opened up a number of years ago.

Either way, eww.