[Ghoser777]

I'm not much of a prankster, but I thought everyone would appreciate this story.

My girlfriend was in Hawaii for the past week with her family, so I wanted to surprise her by doing a little landscaping in her front yard. With the help of my Dad, we did trimming, some mowing, some de-weeding, and some mulching. Then we get the great idea to leave her a bill.

So I search online for a realistic landscaping bill, and I model my own after it. I make a company name on it, put my cell phone as the contact number, and add a bunch of items to the bill. The first 8 or so are real sounding items, but the last two (alcohol and exotic dancers for about $600) should be a pretty good give away. I attach the $1000 bill to her front door and await a phone call.

So here's my dilemma - when my girlfriend calls me, I'm not sure if she's home yet or not. So when she calls, I just say a simple "hi" and see where things go.

She has no idea it's me on the other line (even though I'm sure her phone is displaying my name on her screen). She introduces herself by full name and inquires about the bill. I use a pathetic fake voice that she never picks up on. I ask her for her invoice number so I could look up the bill. I ask her if she's not satisfied with the service. She responds that she didn't ask for any service, she's never heard of my company, etc.

So now I've got her,and I'm ready to let her in... at least I was trying. I ask her if she has any complaints about the bill, like the last two entries (booze and babes). She agrees that its odd and doesn't understand why they're on the bill. She's very confused.

At this point her dad gets on the phone, and I immediately bail and tell him what's going on (he found it funny). I believe the next several things she told me on the phone were:

I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to kill you.

Good times.

[Laminar]

One time I climbed onto someone's partitioned roof, stole a dude's grill, and put it in his neighbor's apartment.

Another time I dressed up a homeless guy and broke into some dude's garage and stole thousands of dollars in tools and equipment.

[andi*pandi]

She must not dial your cell very often not to recognize it!

[brassplayersrock²]

Originally Posted by Laminar 

One time I climbed onto someone's partitioned roof, stole a dude's grill, and put it in his neighbor's apartment.

Another time I dressed up a homeless guy and broke into some dude’s car and stole thousands of dollars in tools and equipment.

Once I used a remote controlled rat in a friend’s car in the passenger seat under some of her clothes , and when she got in (I was in the backseat hiding) I activated the rat and freaked her out 2 ways. When she screamed after she lifted the clothes to find the toy rat; and 2 when I sprang up and covered her eyes and said boo.

[The Final Dakar]

One time I convinced a forum I liked the computing products of a notoriously over-priced company.

[brassplayersrock²]

ya get what you pay for

[osiris]

One time on a movie set I replaced an UZI's 9mm blanks with real bullets.
Yadda yadda yadda, the director was pissed when half his principle cast ended up in the hospital clinging to dear life.

[brassplayersrock²]

^ winner

[Ghoser777]

Originally Posted by andi*pandi 

She must not dial your cell very often not to recognize it!

Speed Dial.

[turtle777]

-t

[SpaceMonkey]

Is that a personal recommendation, turtle?

[turtle777]

It's a personal recommendation from my turtle. He loves floating on this thing in the water.

-t

[Ghoser777]

Your turtle must not be very big...

[The Final Dakar]

Originally Posted by Ghoser777 

Your turtle must not be very big...

I'm uncomfortable with where this conversation is going.

[Railroader]

I think those things are uncomfortable.


Or so I have heard.

[brassplayersrock²]

Computer Scare

[ajprice]

The top 10 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-11053202

1) Tim Vine "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

2) David Gibson "I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone."

3) Emo Philips "I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them."

4) Jack Whitehall "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."

6) John Bishop "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."

7) Bo Burnham "What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

8) Gary Delaney "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."

9) Robert White "For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty."

10) Gareth Richards "Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food. Or, if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub…"


and some worst gags

Sara Pascoe "Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."

Sean Hughes "You know city-centre beat officers... Well are they police who rap?"

John Luke Roberts "I made a Battenberg where the two colours ran alongside each other. I called it apartheid sponge."

Emo Phillips "I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them."

Bec Hill "Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn't have the energy to climb up the stairs."

Dan Antopolski "How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

[iranfromthezoo]

Working at the FD allows us to have plenty of times on our hands to pull such pranks.

One thing I have done is catch a newspaper on fire while someone is dropping a deuce on the toilet and throw it under their feet. Pretty funny.

We will also take a stick of butter and put a firecracker in it and throw it in the bathroom while someone is going...they can't move and it gets them nasty.

Put clear plastic cling wrap across the toilet boil.

We will put someones car keys in a cup of water and put it in the freezer overnight or turn on the water hose over their car during the winter...very fun.

Put a fake snake in someones bed at work, fun to watch.

Put a jolly rancher in the showerhead, they will never know it while taking a shower until they get out and the towel sticks to them.

Freeze an IV bag and stick it above the ceiling above their bed and wait until 2 am when they wake up freezing cold and soaking wet.

Finally, get some lidocaine and and put it on someone's toothbrush and spit bottles...makes their mouth go numb and very fun to watch.

We have lots of fun and everything is in good humor and it's a brotherhood that we have come to expect pranks, after all of the stuff that we see we need this stuff to keep us sane.