[iM@k]

Last night my "adopted little Brother" committed suicide by shooting his head.

Rick was my best friends Will's little brother, As I come from a messed of family and never had any real brothers or sisters of my own, even through they were part of 6 bothers and sisters they let me join as the 7th.

Rick was the youngest of the 6 and the only one of them to actually graduate from High School. He'd been working as a cook since and had getting ready to try to apply to go to culinary school. This Christmas I bought him a pro series pot and pan set hoping it's encourage him to keep perusing his dream.

We were all hanging out listening to music and having a few drinks as we do every almost every week. Rick a had a little too much to drink so I sent him up to his room. I helped him up the stairs and made sure he got in his room alright. I went back to join Will and some other friends of our. While doing some clean up I heard a hard thud that I thought was Ricky failing out of bed. I went to get him a class of water and went up to his room to check on him.

He was such a good kid. Over the past 2 years he and I had become very close, almost so so then with Will and I who'd been best friend since 3rd grade. He often me he considered me his actual brother and that he loved me and I would tell him the same back.

I miss him so very much.

[AKcrab]

Condolences, iM@k.

[imitchellg5]

Wow. I am deeply sorry to hear that. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like. Please don't be harsh on yourself iM@k, and don't apologise for bringing this up.

[freudling]

Get off of here and find a real human to talk to. You need that right now.

Sorry for your loss.

[OreoCookie]

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I, too, hope you have someone in the real world to talk about this. I don't want to imagine losing one of my siblings.

[P]

That's terrible. I'm really sorry for you, iM@k. I have some experience with suicides in the extended family, and it is absolutely awful on everyone around. Go find your friend and his siblings and parents and friends and whatnot and keep talking to them.

Remember, there is no shame in asking for help in situations like this.

[SSharon]

Sorry for your loss iM@k. No need to apologize for bringing it up here, and whether you speak with us or with other people in person, just speak with someone who you think will help you through this.

[Athens]

How ever you feel, don't blame yourself. I've lost a few friends over the years that way. I know every time I thought in retrospect if i had only seen the signs but the fact is you never do. So try not to. Its a shitty deal for all.

[mattyb]

My thoughts are with you iM@k.

[iM@k]

Thank you everyone.

I've been blessed with many friends who have come to support me.

[osiris]

My condolences, iM@k, that's tragic. I wish you strength and fortitude.

[Shaddim]

Jesus, man, I'm so sorry to hear about that. My prayers are with you.

[ebuddy]

iM@k: for what it's worth, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It's very encouraging that you would express yourself not only to the friends and loved ones around you, but this forum as well. Thank you.

Stay open about what you're feeling and God Bless ya brother.