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My World Has Been Rocked (Advice Thread) (Page 2)
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Mar 2, 2011, 11:31 AM
 
Don't go crazy on clothes. Don't spend a lot of money on clothes. Buy used. Take hand-me-downs.

Same goes for toys and accessories. Get as much as you can from others. Don't buy all new stuff. It's a complete waste. Most of the things only get used for 3 months and then they move onto some new thing.

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Mar 2, 2011, 11:31 AM
 
Originally Posted by SSharon View Post
Congratulations! I'm not a father (yet) so I don't have any advice to share.
I did fall into the role of family photographer so if I had to make a recommendation it would be to take lots of pictures.
Originally Posted by imitchellg5 View Post
Luckily he will not have to look far.
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Yeah, Jawbone just needs to find a worthwhile photographer now.
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey View Post
Jawbone's wife is a photographer?
Originally Posted by imitchellg5 View Post
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey View Post
Sigh.
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
facepalm.jpg
I'm just watching here.
     
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Mar 2, 2011, 11:34 AM
 
Originally Posted by Doofy View Post
No advice, only congrats. Yay!
Thanks, Uncle Doof!

Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Congrats. Like everyone has said, life changing. Advice?

1) Buy lots of cheap hand towels. They go over shoulders on laps etc. Milky vomit stains are hard to get out of clothes.
2) Spend the money on a decent push chair. I'd go for something like this. The big wheels help.
3) Your car is too small. Get something that can hold loads more shite that you think you need. If you get a station wagon, buy a net to ensure the stuff in the back of the station wagon doesn't bang the kid's head when you break violently. Trust me.
4) Buy at least four baby bottles. The last thing you want to be doing at stupid o'clock in the morning is washing a baby bottle.
5) The steriliser that you put in the microwave is great.
6) Prepare for back-ache.
7) Dummies (pacifiers) are great. Fcuk those who think otherwise.
8) Learn to play computer games with one hand. You'll be rocking the baby with the other.

Can't think of anything else for the moment. Good luck.
Thank ya!

Little worried about #3 though -- I just recently bought a Ford Fiesta.

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious View Post
Make sure you're teaching at a private school by the time the kid turns 5 so he doesn't have to suffer the tragedy of a public education.

That's the best advice you will ever get.
No doubt about it. We're already looking, and are probably going to send them from age 5-18 to an awesome private school located nearby. I don't care if I have to increase my work load heavily to cover it -- this is worth it to us.
     
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Mar 2, 2011, 11:36 AM
 
Most impressive use of multiquote ever.
     
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Mar 2, 2011, 11:39 AM
 
Congrats Jawbone! Your boys can swim!
     
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Mar 2, 2011, 01:35 PM
 
Wow, congrats. Pregnancy for Dummies, no kidding. Good advice from mattyb too.

It will be a wonderful journey. Not for a while though.

One thing to remember: Goop propagates. Once you have a kid, you'll know what universal entropy is all about. If you don't clean things up immediately they will come back to haunt you.

Also, some tees I wish I'd had on the kiddos when they were little (I put these up for a laugh). I can just see a little onesie with OMG WTF on it.
( Last edited by finboy; Mar 2, 2011 at 04:04 PM. Reason: fixed your url)
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Mar 2, 2011, 03:35 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot View Post
^ hey, which of you clowns hijacked Doofy's account?
Shut your mouth, hippie!
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
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Mar 2, 2011, 03:47 PM
 
That's our Doofy, our favorite MacNN Buckingham Palace resident!
     
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Mar 2, 2011, 07:59 PM
 
Congrats Jawbone! I'm wondering if there will be a little blue glowing dot on your kid some where

Glad that I could help your family grow jawbone.
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 07:43 AM
 
Congrats, Jawbone!
We're curiously awaiting whether your baby has inherited your hallmark feature … 
I was referring to your user name, of course!
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Mar 3, 2011, 07:48 AM
 
The caterpillars crawling across his forehead? $10 says the baby comes out with a full beard male or female...
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 09:52 AM
 
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 10:43 AM
 
Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² View Post
Congrats Jawbone! I'm wondering if there will be a little blue glowing dot on your kid some where ]
We can only hope.

Originally Posted by OreoCookie View Post
Congrats, Jawbone!
We're curiously awaiting whether your baby has inherited your hallmark feature … 
I was referring to your user name, of course!
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
The caterpillars crawling across his forehead? $10 says the baby comes out with a full beard male or female...
Y'all are wrong for that. Both of you. And if my little girl comes out with back hair, I'm blaming you guys. I know it's my DNA, but it's your bad vibes.

My children are destined to have big eyebrows and unusually sharp canines.

Originally Posted by brassplayersrock² View Post
Okay, that is actually funny.

[EDIT] I just sent it to my wife.
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 10:47 AM
 
Is that Billy Mays' beard?
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 10:50 AM
 
Originally Posted by ort888 View Post
Don't go crazy on clothes. Don't spend a lot of money on clothes. Buy used. Take hand-me-downs.

Same goes for toys and accessories. Get as much as you can from others. Don't buy all new stuff. It's a complete waste. Most of the things only get used for 3 months and then they move onto some new thing.
Great advice. Thrift stores are your friend, but don't buy anything until you need it. It's tempting to "get ready" by buying stuff (it shows how "ready" you are, yay hubby, and it shows that you take it seriously) and setting it up, but it's a waste most of the time. You'll figure out what you need AS you need it.
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Mar 3, 2011, 10:57 AM
 
Originally Posted by finboy View Post
Also, some tees I wish I'd had on the kiddos when they were little (I put these up for a laugh). I can just see a little onesie with OMG WTF on it.
I like the n00b one for a baby.
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 10:57 AM
 
Originally Posted by Jawbone54 View Post
Y'all are wrong for that. Both of you. And if my little girl comes out with back hair, I'm blaming you guys. I know it's my DNA, but it's your bad vibes.
I'm divulging a family secret here, but my sister was born with back hair on her spine.
Originally Posted by Jawbone54 View Post
My children are destined to have big eyebrows and unusually sharp canines.
Ditto.
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Mar 3, 2011, 11:01 AM
 
Originally Posted by OreoCookie View Post
I'm divulging a family secret here, but my sister was born with back hair on her spine.
Reeeeeeally?

Ditto.
Furballs unite. *fist bump*
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 11:14 AM
 
Our son was born with hairy shoulders. Nine months later, its all gone.

More tips? Learn to live with being drooled on, especially during teething time. And perhaps most importantly, enjoy the experience. There are times when it doesn't seem like it, but it really does go by veery, very fast. I was looking at some pictures from half a year back, it's insane how much changes in very little time.
     
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Mar 3, 2011, 11:20 AM
 
Originally Posted by Phileas View Post
Our son was born with hairy shoulders. Nine months later, its all gone.
Originally Posted by OreoCookie View Post
I'm divulging a family secret here, but my sister was born with back hair on her spine.
Common in a lot of babies...

Pregnancy and Baby: What is lanugo?
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Mar 3, 2011, 04:26 PM
 
Congrats, Jaw! Happy birthday-minus-270. Yahyahyah. I know it’s not 270 anymore. Just go with it.

Learn to live with being drooled on
Buying a Newfoundland dog or two will prepare you quite well for this bit.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:23 AM
 
Originally Posted by Jawbone54 View Post
...in a good way. We're not telling my church/students/Facebook/Twitter until another two weeks, so I had to vent this news somewhere...

My wife and I are going to be bringing a tiny little Jawbone into the world around the middle of October.

I'm not a bit nervous about it (crazy excited), and we're prepared financially, but I wanted to get some advice from the fathers and mothers here on the old 'NN. What can I expect during the pregnancy? Do I need to keep several vital things in mind? Reading suggestions? Anything?
Originally Posted by MrsLarry View Post
Congratulations! That's fantastic news!

I have no advice, but I'm going to stay tuned to this thread to see what everyone says. I'm hoping to brew up a little Larry, Jr. soon. {fingers crossed}
Well, two blue lines on the stick yesterday. Yikes! Currently walking a thin line of excited and terrified. What have I gotten myself into?
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:24 AM
 
Originally Posted by MrsLarry View Post
Well, two blue lines on the stick yesterday. Yikes! Currently walking a thin line of excited and terrified. What have I gotten myself into?
Another round of congratulations to Jawbone! Well done, you virile lad!
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:36 AM
 
Originally Posted by MrsLarry View Post
Well, two blue lines on the stick yesterday. Yikes! Currently walking a thin line of excited and terrified. What have I gotten myself into?
Congrats!
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:38 AM
 
Originally Posted by MrsLarry View Post
Well, two blue lines on the stick yesterday. Yikes! Currently walking a thin line of excited and terrified. What have I gotten myself into?
Sleepless nights and a lot of fun. Congratulations.

Our little one is ten months old now. He's totally awesome, starting to walk and explores absolutely everything with huge enthusiasm. Cats and dogs run in terror when he's scooting around the corner. Kitchen cabinets are under lock and key and all power outlets not in use have been sealed shut. iPhones are a particular favourite.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:42 AM
 
Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
Another round of congratulations to Jawbone! Well done, you virile lad!
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:42 AM
 
As long as we're piling on... we're expecting number 2 ourselves. I'm hoping for a girl this time so I can have a complete set. Kids are like Pokemon, you gotta catch em all.

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Mar 18, 2011, 11:43 AM
 
Originally Posted by ort888 View Post
As long as we're piling on... we're expecting number 2 ourselves. I'm hoping for a girl this time so I can have a complete set. Kids are like Pokemon, you gotta catch em all.
Good luck capturing the elusive hermaphrodite.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:45 AM
 
Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
Another round of congratulations to Jawbone! Well done, you virile lad!
HA!
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 11:57 AM
 
Congrats everyone! Baby spring fever is contagious!
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 12:00 PM
 
Originally Posted by MrsLarry View Post
Well, two blue lines on the stick yesterday. Yikes! Currently walking a thin line of excited and terrified. What have I gotten myself into?
Originally Posted by ort888 View Post
As long as we're piling on... we're expecting number 2 ourselves. I'm hoping for a girl this time so I can have a complete set. Kids are like Pokemon, you gotta catch em all.
Huzzah!!! The 'NN is taking over the world!

Congrats, folks.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 12:01 PM
 
Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
Another round of congratulations to Jawbone! Well done, you virile lad!
I'm changing my user name to ShawnKemp².
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 12:32 PM
 
I'm not expecting any kids, but I'll be more alert thanks to this thread.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 12:36 PM
 
Originally Posted by Jawbone54 View Post
I'm changing my user name to ShawnKemp².
I wiki'd him for the exact number and was disappointed to find it was only seven. I remember it being something crazy like 11 or 13.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 12:59 PM
 
Originally Posted by andi*pandi View Post
Congrats everyone! Baby spring fever is contagious!
Anything you want to tell us?
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 01:52 PM
 
Nope! Unless you mean my niece is expecting.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 01:54 PM
 
Jawbone! 3 for 3!
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 01:57 PM
 
Yep, it's Friday.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 02:01 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Yep, it's Friday.
Friday is when women realize they've been impregnated by the Louisiana Lover?
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 02:02 PM
 
Lam, ask your wife if she's pregnant (don't explain why).

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Mar 18, 2011, 02:53 PM
 
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey View Post
Lam, ask your wife if she's pregnant (don't explain why).


Originally Posted by The Final Dakar View Post
I wiki'd him for the exact number and was disappointed to find it was only seven. I remember it being something crazy like 11 or 13.
I've been telling people it was 10 from 10 different women for years. I'm going to pretend you never told me the accurate number.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 02:57 PM
 
Originally Posted by Jawbone54 View Post
I've been telling people it was 10 from 10 different women for years. I'm going to pretend you never told me the accurate number.
Actually, we may both be right:
As of 1998, Kemp had fathered at least seven children.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 03:05 PM
 
Travis Henry has him beat as far as verified cases go: 11 from 10

I remember the days when Travis Henry was putting up huge numbers for my fantasy football team. Now, he has fathered a football team of his own, having eleven children with ten different women. Say what you will about Henry, but at least he is consistent. Those stats make him the undisputed king of Athletic deadbeat dads.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 03:08 PM
 
Shawn just can't catch a break.
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 04:12 PM
 
To pile on, my cousin just had her first baby. Reese born 2:57pm on 3/15/11 8 lbs 15 oz!!! 21 inches
( Last edited by brassplayersrock²; Mar 18, 2011 at 04:19 PM. )
     
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Mar 18, 2011, 04:14 PM
 
Congratulations Shawn Kemp!
     
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Sep 13, 2011, 04:22 AM
 
This decaying thread is making its undead return.

I'm expecting my son to be here in less than two months, so the wife and I have been taking loads of pictures and listening to (but not always accepting) advice from just about everyone who already has kids, doesn't have kids, doesn't want kids, wants forty kids, or whatever stranger decides to offer it up in Target.

The pregnancy has been almost completely non-eventful. She hasn't been nauseous or even experienced many mood swings. We're just now entering into the hot, uncomfortable, ready-to-get-the-baby-OUT stage, but we couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy. Here's m'boy...



The wife is a lot happier than she looks in this photo:



MrsLarry...ort888....y'all doing okay?
     
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Sep 13, 2011, 10:18 AM
 
Originally Posted by Jawbone54 View Post
MrsLarry...ort888....y'all doing okay?

Sadly, no. We are no longer expecting our second child. I'll leave it at that and keep this as a happy thread for happy thoughts.

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Sep 13, 2011, 10:49 AM
 
I don't want to drag it out, but I'm sorry.
     
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Sep 13, 2011, 12:09 PM
 
Sorry to hear that Ort. That type of thing terrifies us.

My wife is still throwing up and being hormonal. She's also starting to show, which is great because I get to rub the spot and talk to it. I get the, "they can't hear you yet" type of noise, but it doesn't matter because I enjoy it so much.
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