[subego]

Just blew out my back lifting up the toilet seat.

I hope y'all are happy.

[Spheric Harlot]

Sit down to pee, unless you're at a urinal.

Problem solved.

[subego]

That's bad news if you have a smartphone.

[Spheric Harlot]

[subego]

You sit down on the toilet, the phone comes out, you go on reddit...

[Spheric Harlot]

And that's bad?

(Well, going on reddit is, I suppose, but who does that?)

[FireWire]

I don't understand how that can happen.. first of all, nothing should be in the back pocket, it's bad for the back and risks breaking the object when you sit down. And don't people drop their pants before sitting down? At worst it could drop on the floor from a low height, and never in the toilet. My iPhone is in my left pocket with my wallet, and it's tight enough that nothing moves in there, unless I wear very baggy shorts during the summer.

Regarding the expection that men should lower the seat after use, I think it should be done as a courtesy because ladies like that but it shouldn't be expected, as it takes as much effort to lift than to take down, and is done the same numbers of time. I don't see why we should always take it down while ladies never lift it up after they're done. And for those who falls in it at night, just check before you sit.. common sense... That being said, guys should really pee in the sitting position: I read it's better for the body, and there's never any accidental splashing.

Finally, I think they should really eliminate the gap in the seat in public places, so jackasses would never be tempted to pee with the seat down, between the two parts, and there would never have stains on the seats.. Come on.. unless you're five you already know that the stream is never perfect.. I never understood the function of this gap, to begin with.. it's not there at home..

[subego]

The phone comes out because you take it out to go on reddit while you're sitting down.

[subego]

The Straight Dope: Why are public toilet seats always "U" shaped?

[FireWire]

Public toilets are designed the way they are for the obvious reason: men are pigs. In particular, they splash, and when they're out of the house and away from the restraining influence of their families, they splash even more — and they don't wipe up. The relevant male apparatus being in the front, this makes the front of the toilet seat (particularly the underside) pretty gross

Well that's stupid, because instead of having to clean only the front part, we have to wipe the entire cover because some morons take advantage of this gab to practice their (poor) aiming..

[MacinTommy]

Internet Fact: Reddit makes you sit on the toilet at least 50% longer.

[mattyb]

Besson is about to come in here and sh1t on you all.

I'm off.

[osiris]

Originally Posted by mattyb 

Besson is about to come in here and sh1t on you all.

I'm off.

I was just thinking the same thing.

[subego]

Originally Posted by FireWire 

Well that's stupid, because instead of having to clean only the front part, we have to wipe the entire cover because some morons take advantage of this gab to practice their (poor) aiming..

Don't poop in public. Problem solved.

[Uncle Skeleton]

You guys sit down to poo?

[subego]

Of course not. You can't rock back and forth that way. Aren't you on reddit?

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally Posted by Uncle Skeleton 

You guys sit down to poo?

Of course not. The sink isn't built to carry that weight!

[ghporter]

I've never had a phone fall out of my pocket when sitting on the loo. I keep mine in a front pocket, which may have something to do with it. Seated elimination is my preferred method when I wake in the middle of the night and need to go - no need to blind myself by turning on a light, no issues with poor aim because I'm still asleep, and I've never fallen over while sitting down, either.

On the other hand, if raising the seat on a toilet hurt your back, there's other problems to worry about beyond whether to stand or sit...

[subego]

Last time it was a piece of paper on the floor.

No doubt left there by a lady.

[Ω]

Originally Posted by ghporter 

Seated elimination is my preferred method when I wake in the middle of the night and need to go - no need to blind myself by turning on a light, no issues with poor aim because I'm still asleep, and I've never fallen over while sitting down, either.

Two things spring to mind:

Piss in the bath - it's bigger!
You have fallen over while taking a "mans" piss?

[ShortcutToMoncton]

Cool fact, having looked at a swath of toilet options lately: there are crazily awesome toilet seats with built-in bidets that raise and lower automatically, are comfortably self-warming, sprinkle warm water and blow hot air, and even play music when you sit down.

The last one just killed me. What song would you get your toilet to play? Handel's Messiah?

Anyways, sub needs to shell out some serious cash for a new toilet. Let it never be said that more money will not solve your problems.

[shifuimam]

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton 

Let it never be said that more money will not solve your problems.

Truer words have never been spoken.

[Waragainstsleep]

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton 

The last one just killed me. What song would you get your toilet to play? Handel's Messiah?

"Bogtones" Its a billion dollar market.

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton 

Anyways, sub needs to shell out some serious cash for a new toilet. Let it never be said that more money will not solve your problems.

Maybe an astronaut style funnel & vacuum arrangement so you don't have to sit or aim.

[Uncle Skeleton]

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton 

What song would you get your toilet to play? Handel's Messiah?

I like. big. butts and I can not lie...

[The Final Dakar]

1812 overture.

[ShortcutToMoncton]

My buddy said the 2001 theme. I love that the answers seem to be either a ridiculous song like Baby Got Back or Welcome to the Jungle (another buddy), or the most ponderously grandiose theme songs in history. So far one's just picked a nice song simply because it's their favourite....

[andi*pandi]

I think I'd get sick of one song, the only use I can think of for that feature is potty training kids. Put sesame street on there.

A bathroom radio is much better.

[The Final Dakar]

Originally Posted by andi*pandi 

I think I'd get sick of one song, the only use I can think of for that feature is potty training kids. Put sesame street on there.

A bathroom radio is much better.

Double click the seat to skip to next song.

[Waragainstsleep]

It could play a song your kid hates until they 'go' which would then change the song to one they like as a reward.

[subego]

Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton 

Cool fact, having looked at a swath of toilet options lately: there are crazily awesome toilet seats with built-in bidets that raise and lower automatically, are comfortably self-warming, sprinkle warm water and blow hot air, and even play music when you sit down.

The last one just killed me. What song would you get your toilet to play? Handel's Messiah?

Anyways, sub needs to shell out some serious cash for a new toilet. Let it never be said that more money will not solve your problems.

After my old seat cracked, I did get one of the ones which lower themselves slowly rather than slam.

It's also quick-release for cleaning underneath it.

I have to say, these are both very nice features.

[gradient]

Anyone who doesn't put the lid down on a toilet (and I mean the LID, not just the seat, ladies) is gross. Why do I want to see the inside of a toilet bowl when I don't need to.

[andi*pandi]

Agreed. We close both, keeps pets out, things less likely to fall in when knocked off a shelf above etc. Also little kids for some reason sometimes throw their toys in there at some point. :/

[Shaddim]

My cats like toilet water, even when they have fresh in their bowls. I know...

[BLAZE_MkIV]

Water goes down the hole.
Tiny Toons - The Potty Years.AVI - YouTube

[besson3c]

It's about time we had a thread about cheating and peeing.

[subego]

Originally Posted by gradient 

Anyone who doesn't put the lid down on a toilet (and I mean the LID, not just the seat, ladies) is gross. Why do I want to see the inside of a toilet bowl when I don't need to.

I do not fear the abyss staring back.

[Spheric Harlot]

Originally Posted by Shaddim 

My cats like toilet water, even when they have fresh in their bowls. I know...

All cats like toilet water.

[subego]

And are mortal enemies of the vacuum cleaner.

[andi*pandi]

When we first got our cats, it coincided with our son being just old enough to use the bathroom himself. The cats liked playing in the bathroom, jumping on the closed lid to hurtle into the bathtub, hide in the shower curtain, etc. One day he did not close the lid and we heard a sploosh. Cat had jumped without looking, assuming the lid was a permanent fixture. Poor cat. Poor cat then had a bath.

[besson3c]

I pee standing up and then wipe up my spillage, but this one time right when I was about to start my urine stream the cat put his head between my legs and I almost peed on him.

I've never come close to fireing on him though.

[subego]

As I know I've mentioned before, I had to pee in the litterbox once because my cat was confused. She had held it in all day and could barely walk at that point.

Immediate comprehension was achieved.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Ω 

Two things spring to mind:

Piss in the bath - it's bigger!
You have fallen over while taking a "mans" piss?

I don't like to cause unneeded strife, so the tub is out. And while I have yet to fall over while standing to urinate, there are times when the risk is substantially greater, such as when I have to go in the middle of the night. It isn't the fall that would worry me as much as the headline: "Man found wedged between toilet and wall - says he wanted to pee like a grown up". It would be embarrassing.

[Waragainstsleep]

Originally Posted by Shaddim 

My cats like toilet water, even when they have fresh in their bowls. I know...

My cat prefers puddles to tap water. I'm told they can taste the fluorides and whatnot in the water but that wouldn't explain why they'd like toilet water as it usually comes from the same source as the tap.
I knew a cat who would drink from the tap but only from the running tap as it allegedly prevented him tasting the chemicals somehow.

[Shaddim]

We have well water and run it through filters and softeners. The municipal water is wretched around here.

[mattyb]

Originally Posted by Spheric Harlot 

All cats like toilet water.

But the BEST flavour, is the muddy stuff in the plant pot saucers. Yum yum.

[BLAZE_MkIV]

Originally Posted by Waragainstsleep 

My cat prefers puddles to tap water. I'm told they can taste the fluorides and whatnot in the water but that wouldn't explain why they'd like toilet water as it usually comes from the same source as the tap.
I knew a cat who would drink from the tap but only from the running tap as it allegedly prevented him tasting the chemicals somehow.

The chlorine they treat the water with breaks down and evaporates if the water is left standing for a while.

[ghporter]

Cats like aerated water. I don't know if it has to do with whether or not they can taste chlorine, but if you give a cat identical bowls with still water and circulated water, they will go for the circulated (and thus aerated) water most of the time. I have a large bowl with a recirculating pump for my cats, and they drink from that far more than they did from the bowl before I added the pump.

[Thorzdad]

Originally Posted by Shaddim 

We have well water and run it through filters and softeners. The municipal water is wretched around here.

I'd kill for municipal water. Even filtered and softened, our well water is undrinkable. For drinking, we haul a couple of crates with gallon bottles to the market every Saturday and refill them from a machine.

As for cats...Our cat loves the water sitting in the shower after we're done. He'll also go straight for any glass of water left unattended.

[subego]

When it comes to municipal water, giant freshwater lake FTW.

[The Final Dakar]

Originally Posted by mattyb 

But the BEST flavour, is the muddy stuff in the plant pot saucers. Yum yum.

Rich in soil nutrients with the tang of the plant.

Anyway if it's not actually chewing on the plant, count yourself as lucky.