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Cooking again
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Mac Elite
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Jul 19, 2014, 05:52 AM
 
Hello,

I have some cooking issues. This is overly complicated... I argued on cooking several months ago, I got replies ranging from everything, from ninja YouTube videos to "timing should be right" to "try around a lot and invite friends as a challenge", so to speak.

I never succeeded. Inviting friends can be embarrassing, pan cakes are apparently different in the States than in Germany, my salads improve, but they don't vary enough, I sometimes just eat at the university, I still favor pizza over pasta, etc. etc. ...

Please help.
Pete
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 08:31 AM
 
Fresh pasta shells
Mushrooms
Cream
Parmesan cheese
Butter

Fry mushrooms in butter
Cook pasta
Add cream to mushrooms (off heat of cream will curdle).
Add grated Parmesan to mushroom cream mix. Heat gentley
Add black pepper and fresh oregano
Tip over pasta.
Mix
Job done
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 10:27 AM
 
Originally Posted by PeterParker View Post
Please help.
Pete
Please help with WHAT ?

Crafting coherent posts ?

-t
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 11:39 AM
 
You can make pizza more interesting if you want somewhere more familiar to start.

Try different bases. French bread, Ciabatta, my dad used to make a dough based on mashed potatoes. If you're a proper destitute student (or even if you aren't) they making pizza with tortillas. I like to use two or three and put stuff in between layers. Cheese, ham or pepperoni or anything you like that you can slice thin or spread.
Use spreadable foods to stick the layers together when it cooks. Cream cheese, garlic butter, pesto. I might try one with marmalade later. Just because I have a big jar of it.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 01:16 PM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
Please help with WHAT ?

Crafting coherent posts ?

-t
I understood what he wrote.


On topic:

Pancakes are tougher than they appear.

I'd recommend what in English is called "French toast". Piece of bread soaked in a beaten egg. Fry it up in a pan. Put it on a plate. Butter and syrup to taste. The bread has some structural integrity, so if you move it before it's fully cooked it won't fall apart like a pancake. Very easy to flip. The only real trick is to cook it all the way through.

It actually helps a bit if the bread you use is slightly stale, so it's a good way to get rid of bread which isn't moldy, but you wouldn't want to use on a sandwich.

If you make bacon first, drain most of the grease and use what's left coating the pan to keep the bread from sticking. Animal fat (also known as "lard") makes for a superior frying agent.
( Last edited by subego; Jul 19, 2014 at 01:27 PM. )
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 01:44 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
I understood what he wrote.
I understood that he "has issues".

But what advise does he want ?
German pan cakes ("Pfannkuchen") are nothing like pan cakes in the US.
Pfannkuchen are like french crêpes, so I'm not sure what his point is.
Which one does he like ? Which one does he want to make ?
What is his issue with salads ? Variety of greens ? Variety of other ingredients ? Variety of dressings ?

On a side note: French Toast are known in Germany as "Arme Ritter".

-t
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 02:54 PM
 
My advice for crepes is the same for pancakes.

Don't.

These are advanced cooking jobs. Start with something easier or you'll get frustrated.



Doesn't "Ritter" mean "Knight"? What does "Arme" translate to?
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 04:10 PM
 
Arme means poor. Poor Knights.

-t
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 04:16 PM
 
If you're going to name shit that way, I don't know how you expect anything to make sense.
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 05:35 PM
 
As if French Toast would make any sense.

Everyone knows they only eat baguette

-t
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 09:25 PM
 
You could toast a baguette. That would be a more sensible form of french toast. Baguettes are referred to as french bread.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 11:39 PM
 
I'm pretty sure that's the idea. Usually, by the time you get to the end of a baguette, it's ready for pounding nails.

Edit: whenever shopping for French toast ingredients (as opposed to having them lying around already) I've always gotten a baguette, though I can recommend challah if you want to switch it up.
     
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Jul 19, 2014, 11:54 PM
 
Challah makes excellent french toast.

What's so hard about pancakes? Pancakes are easy, once you assemble the ingredients. Maybe you need a better recipe.

The simplest one I use:

1c flour
2 tsp baking powder (NOT SODA)
1/4 tsp salt

1 egg
1c milk
melt 2tbs butter, add slowly to above

dash of cinnamon
dash - 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1-2tsp sugar

I double this for a family, and have leftovers.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 01:49 AM
 
It's not the ingredients part. There's a whole heat/timing/flip/sticky angle to it.

It takes practice.

Much harder to **** up a poor knight.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 07:17 AM
 
Only the flip has any difficulty and you can usually fudge it with a spatula. The real trick is using a decent pan. A heavy cast iron one makes all the difference.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 01:30 PM
 
Originally Posted by Waragainstsleep View Post
The real trick is using a decent pan. A heavy cast iron one makes all the difference.
Q.E.D.

This is supposed to the n00b cooking show, here.

Don't go getting a cast iron pan unless this is something you know you like doing.

Prior, cook something which is fine in any old pan.

Like, perhaps, French toast.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 02:35 PM
 
How about an omelette?
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 02:51 PM
 
I feel like John Cleese in The Meaning of Life.

How about some scrambled eggs, boy? Warm things up a bit before you stampede for the omelette.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 03:23 PM
 
2 slices of white bread,
200g of Mature cheddar,
Worcestershire sauce.

Toast the bread a bit, not completely toasted.
Grate the cheese onto both slices.
Grill until cheese bubbles.
Couple of dashes of Worcestershire sauce on each.
Eat.
Thank Mattyb.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 03:40 PM
 
What would a "grilled cheese" be called in German?

I'm guessing "rodent trunnion" or something.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 05:55 PM
 
And don't get me started on how to soft boil an egg.
     
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Jul 20, 2014, 06:05 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doc HM View Post
And don't get me started on how to soft boil an egg.
He's only just learning to toast!!!!!
     
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Jul 21, 2014, 07:10 AM
 
Soft boiled eggs are graduate level stuff.

Let's start with something more Cooking 101-ish. Scrambled eggs...two eggs per person: break eggs into large bowl (carefully to avoid shell bits in it) and stir briskly with a fork until it's all the same consistency. Mix in a bit of milk, perhaps 1/8-1/4 cup (I don't know how common these measurements are to Europeans) and stir until all is well mixed.

Now for the "interesting" part. You could perhaps start with some cut up ham (or ground sausage) browned to "done" beforehand. Dice mild onions, bell peppers (multiple colors for eye appeal), and toss this into the pan with a couple small spoons of butter to just get hot, before adding the egg and mixing everything well while it's still all liquid. The only hard part is not messing with it as it starts to firm up - that takes a bit of patience.

Once it's firm-ish, use a wide spatula to turn and break up the whole thing now and then until it's quite firm. This is a judgement call, since some people like their scramble firmer than others do, but with a bit of practice it's pretty easy to see when it's done to your satisfaction. Take it off of the heat and serve it. Optionally top with grated or shredded cheese (I like either cheddar or a nicely flavored softer cheese like gouda).

This can be done with just about any pan that's in good shape, and the "wide spatula" can be just about any spatula, too.

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
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Jul 21, 2014, 10:31 AM
 
Breaking an egg...

Gently crack it on a flat surface. At this point you're not trying to break the shell open, just damage it to the point it's going to take little effort to break open.

Gently use your thumb to bust it open when it's over the bowl. This way, the skin inside the egg helps keep all the shell pieces attached.

If you crack it on the edge of a bowl, it looks cooler, so that's what they do on TV, but that severe an impact going all the way inside the egg is usually going to tear off little pieces of shell.
     
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Jul 21, 2014, 01:26 PM
 
Originally Posted by andi*pandi View Post
Challah makes excellent french toast.
I changed to using Italian Panettone (Christmas bread / cake).

Panettone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Makes awesome French toast.

-t
     
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Jul 21, 2014, 01:43 PM
 
That's what rich knights use.

Poor knights substitute raisin bread.
     
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Jul 21, 2014, 02:21 PM
 
Start Watching "Good Eats" and take notes!
     
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Jul 21, 2014, 06:21 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
That's what rich knights use.

Poor knights substitute raisin bread.
Touche.

I must be rich, because Panettone is the only "bread" I ever buy.

I haven't bought American "bread" in probably 10 years.

-t
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 07:49 AM
 
Cooking for the sweary amongst us.

Possibly slightly NSFW. A bit one joke but some recepis are quite funny.

Thug Kitchen
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 01:38 PM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
I haven't bought American "bread" in probably 10 years.
This shit's good.

     
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Jul 22, 2014, 02:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by Doc HM View Post
Cooking for the sweary amongst us.

Possibly slightly NSFW. A bit one joke but some recepis are quite funny.

Thug Kitchen
My Drunk Kitchen Ep. 1: Butter Yo Shit - YouTube

Also sweary, and doesn't really teach you anything.
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 02:37 PM
 
So, roast dinners then.

High results to difficulty rewards. Not as hard as you'd think. Awesomely great to eat. I think it's also 50% in the roast tatoes, also the gravy. It's not ALL about the meat.
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 03:04 PM
 
WTF is the OP always doing these post & runs ?

If he was really interested, wouldn't he want to interact, comment, ask questions ?

I can see how he will do a similar post in 6 months.

-t
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 03:26 PM
 
Can't speak for anyone else, but I'm enjoying the **** out of this thread. OP or not.
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 04:01 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
This shit's good.

I use this to make sliders all the time!

OAW
     
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Jul 22, 2014, 07:00 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
This shit's good.

Please, you're talking to Germans. Saying that this stuff is bread is like claiming that Miller's Lite is in fact beer.

PS I'm glad I can find pretty mediocre Graubrot here in Toronto.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
     
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Jul 23, 2014, 09:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Can't speak for anyone else, but I'm enjoying the **** out of this thread. OP or not.
I agree, have been smiling as I read. I appreciate the OP throwing out these topics, which to his credit, seem able to get some decent interaction going here.

Now, as to cooking, both my wife and best buddy can't cook for themselves, let alone for friends. So Peter, is this perchance your problem, that you just don't 'get' cooking, just like some people can't code, or learn music....? No shame in that, Find a partner who can, or since you seem to be in Germany, just buy bread and Wurst, boil the latter and serve with Sauerkraut mustard and Bier. That would make me very happy if I were your guest

Armer Ritter is an example of how expressive German is, it implies both poverty and nobility in one dish. Stale bread and eggs, poor food that some browning, sugar and syrup elevate to elegance.
     
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Jul 24, 2014, 01:34 PM
 
I want to add, I'm teasing German specifically for that reason.

"Poor Knight" is awesomely expressive, so I'm sneaking up behind you and pulling your pigtails.
     
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Jul 24, 2014, 03:18 PM
 
Yeah, wait till you discover the Eierlegende Wollmilchsau. :-)

-t
     
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Jul 25, 2014, 12:25 AM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
Yeah, wait till you discover the Eierlegende Wollmilchsau. :-)

-t
My wife asked why I was laughing, and it would have taken paragraphs to explain this simple expression. Three desirable attributes (giving eggs, wool and milk) totally devalued by being incorporated in the person of a female pig, Sau. Sauerei means a messy mess at best, it can even refer to something dishonest, so it's a wonderfully trenchant put down of either of a self proclaimed expert at everything, or of some kludge that purports to do a lot, and sucks at it all. My favorite one was a boom box I had to deal with. AM/FM, dual cassette player and recorder, megaphone use and whatever else. It was the worst piece of audio I ever had to deal with, it did nothing even remotely pleasant to listen to.
     
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Aug 5, 2014, 03:25 PM
 
Unrelated, or more shall I say, further off tangent...I got a new camping grill (and oven) at one hell of a deal.

Outdoor Camp Oven | Camp Chef

Can't wait to make homemade cinnamon rolls the next camping trip. Going to piss of camp neighbors big time!
     
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Aug 5, 2014, 04:30 PM
 
surely that's cheating, scouts taught me that proper camping cooking involves tin foil, coals, and at best a cast iron pot?
     
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Aug 5, 2014, 05:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by residentEvil View Post
Unrelated, or more shall I say, further off tangent...I got a new camping grill (and oven) at one hell of a deal.

Outdoor Camp Oven | Camp Chef

Can't wait to make homemade cinnamon rolls the next camping trip. Going to piss of camp neighbors big time!
When camping, an oven is built, not brought. That is cheating.
     
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Aug 5, 2014, 08:41 PM
 
I didn't say I don't use the campfire for cooking; but if you actually are one that camps, then you know weather plays an important roll in what you can, and can't do with a fire pit and cast iron (I have and do it all, in the winter).

I'm a tent camper/sleep on the ground and I can Les Stroud my survival if I want to. But I prepare well and don't NEED to be a Les Stroud. I'm camping, not surviving. There is a difference.

I also bring ice and a cooler, is that cheating too?
     
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Aug 6, 2014, 10:03 AM
 
Originally Posted by residentEvil View Post
I didn't say I don't use the campfire for cooking; but if you actually are one that camps, then you know weather plays an important roll in what you can, and can't do with a fire pit and cast iron (I have and do it all, in the winter).

I'm a tent camper/sleep on the ground and I can Les Stroud my survival if I want to. But I prepare well and don't NEED to be a Les Stroud. I'm camping, not surviving. There is a difference.

I also bring ice and a cooler, is that cheating too?
Yeah, still cheating.

Call me old fashioned, but camping is not driving your car up to a place and pitching a tent 10 feet from the car.
     
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Aug 6, 2014, 10:07 AM
 
Les is awesome.
     
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Aug 6, 2014, 12:56 PM
 
Originally Posted by mattyb View Post
Yeah, still cheating.

Call me old fashioned, but camping is not driving your car up to a place and pitching a tent 10 feet from the car.
Do you consider consumption of any food that you have not personally hunted / killed / gathered also cheating ?

-t
     
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Aug 6, 2014, 01:07 PM
 
I was joking, of course... I'm not very into roughing it.

But once we went "camping" (rvs and rough cabins) with a group of friends. I brought a small coleman stove and planned all our meals around that, save for the shared "cookout." I imagined a large bonfire, potatoes cooked in the coals, etc. Imagine my surprise when the folks with RVs pulled out dishes served in crockpots. Lobster boiled on the stove inside.
     
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Aug 6, 2014, 01:20 PM
 
I did the not-cheating form of camping for a week at summer camp once.

God, that sucked.

After the first day, for which we had refrigerated food, the only good food you could eat was something you hunted and killed yourself...

And the limited supply of candy bars, over which I saw one of my fellow campers actually drool when his ration came out.
     
   
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