[rjc3]

Okay, I realize this might draw some nasty comments about respecting my son's privacy, but as a parent, I feel I have a right to know how my son is spending his time on the internet. In a nutshell, my son is away at boarding school and has dial up internet access from his dorm (despite the vast sums of $ we spend to send him there, they apparently do not have broadband access on campus). For reasons I'd rather not discuss on a public message board, I'd like to monitor his computer activity without him becoming aware of my snoopiness. Ideally, I'd like to have some sort of keystroke recorder set up that somehow either secretly emails me the text file every week or so (or when he logs on to the net). I'm open to other suggestions as well (for example, having his computer secretly post the text file somewhere where I can get at it via the internet).
Can anyone suggest how I might set this up? I'll have access to his computer over winter break (G4 iBook w/ panther). I appreciate all comments advising me how to do this, but really want to discourage people from launching tirades about respecting my son's privacy. I have personal reasons for doing this and have thought long and hard about my son's right to privacy vs. my obligations to ensure his safety and well-being. Suffice it to say that I have good reasons to monitor my son at this point in his life given some previous history, and I ask that you respect my decision as a parent, even if it is not the decision you would have arrived at.
THanks, I appreciate everyone's help on this.
rjc3

[petehammer]

I know this is precisely what you don't want, but here goes.

If you are monitoring his computer because he is being stalked or is threatening suicide or is in danger, I'm sure people will be glad to help you.

If you are monitoring his computer because you think he's looking at pornography or has a relationship or whatever, JUST ASK HIM.

If my dad did this to me (when I was that age) and I found out... it would take a long time for me to forgive him.

But again, I realize there is a distinction between the two cases. If, say, he abused drugs in the past and you're worried now, do both: ask him and monitor.

[Turias]

I'm not attacking you, I just have a quick question:

Have you thought about what his reactions might be if he finds out that his father has installed a keystroke recorder on his computer without his permission? Nothing you install can be hidden from someone who holds an administrator account on the machine.

There are also a lot of apps out there that search your computer for spyware. All it would take is for him to run one of these programs once.

Since he could easily find out about this, is it worth it?

And how old is he?

[spectre]

It might be hard to hide it from him, especially if he has any computer experience.

I know, personally, if I found out that my dad was installing software on my computer to check up on me, I would be veerrry pissed off. Now you might have a good reason for it, but just keep in mind the consequences, and possibilities this could result in. Maybe the risk is worth it for you..

Having said that, there are some key-recording programs for OS 9.. but as far as I'm aware, there isn't much for OS X. It would probably be quite a bit harder to hide it in OS x.. I could easily be wrong though.

[Horsepoo!!!]

Oh my...Big Brother is watching you.

petehammer brings good points...monitoring your son's computer will not solve anything and could probably just cause problems.

Talk to him.

[Jim Paradise]

Originally posted by petehammer:

If my dad did this to me (when I was that age) and I found out... it would take a long time for me to forgive him.

I whole-heartedly agree. I can't fathom what my reaction would have been if I found out one of my parents had been spying on me.

[rjc3]

I hesitate to air my family's dirty laundry in public, but essentially the facts are as follows:
My 13 year old son got into some trouble using appropriated credit card numbers on the internet. As part of his deferred prosecution agreement, he has agreed not to engage in such activities anymore. My concern is ensuring his compliance with the terms of the deferred prosecution agreement, as he really doesn't want a conviction for fraud on his record (even if he fails to appreciate the signficiance of such a record at this point in his life).
I want to make clear that my concern is not that he is looking at porn sites or engaging in other legal, if inappropriate, activity. My concern is ensuring that he comply with the court order. As I am not able to monitor him personally (he is away at boarding school), and as I have been instructed to make sure my son does not get into more trouble, I have decided, upon much reflection and soul searching, that this is the best way to accomplish my goals.
Is my concern something my son would understand at this point in his life? probably not. But I am willing to bet that as a young adult seeking employment, federal student loans, etc. that he would have some appreciation for my concerns.
Again, I appreciate everyone's help on this.
rjc3

[BatmanPPC]

wonder if the son reads these forums.

[petehammer]

Sorry to make you clarify, I'm sure it is difficult.

Now that you have, I see the dilemma. You, as a parent, would be legally responsible for his (illegal) behavior, which puts you in quite a bind.

It's tough, on one hand I think the internet is important to education. On the other, if he is using it in illegal ways, it's dangerous.

Although I am strongly against privacy invasion, I do think you have a legitimate right to make sure your child isn't going to get him or you in trouble. Besides, it is your iBook, right (which is even more tricky legally)?

Another poster was right, it may be far more difficult in Panther/Jaguar to use a keystroke recorder without being caught than in OS9.

[nredman]

Originally posted by rjc3:
I hesitate to air my family's dirty laundry in public, but essentially the facts are as follows:
My 13 year old son got into some trouble using appropriated credit card numbers on the internet. As part of his deferred prosecution agreement, he has agreed not to engage in such activities anymore. My concern is ensuring his compliance with the terms of the deferred prosecution agreement, as he really doesn't want a conviction for fraud on his record (even if he fails to appreciate the signficiance of such a record at this point in his life).
I want to make clear that my concern is not that he is looking at porn sites or engaging in other legal, if inappropriate, activity. My concern is ensuring that he comply with the court order. As I am not able to monitor him personally (he is away at boarding school), and as I have been instructed to make sure my son does not get into more trouble, I have decided, upon much reflection and soul searching, that this is the best way to accomplish my goals.
Is my concern something my son would understand at this point in his life? probably not. But I am willing to bet that as a young adult seeking employment, federal student loans, etc. that he would have some appreciation for my concerns.
Again, I appreciate everyone's help on this.
rjc3

hmm well that sucks...sounds like a bad situation. if it were my son (now understand i don't have any kids so i really don't know jack)he wouldn't have access to the internet at all and that would stop him from doing it again. does he need this computer to do homework or just to surf the net. i'm sure if he really wanted to do this sort of thing again he could find a friend and ask them to use thier computer. i say if its possible cut his ass off from the net...but thats just my opinion. maybe someone else has a better idea.

[EnVoy]

I'm suprised the court didn't make him stay away from the internet. I would cut off his access to the net. Does the school have a computer lab he can use instead?

I have seen this posted on this forum before:

http://www.burning-bytes.com/monitorerx.html

I have no experience with it, use at your own risk....

[Turias]

I'm sorry. That situation really does suck. Unfortunately, I don't think that any amount of spyware/keystroke logging is going to solve your problem. If he wants to continue using stolen credit card numbers, then he is not going to stop.

Taking away his internet privileges might work. But, if you take away his internet, he could very well find other ways to continue his illegal activites, whether it be through friends or other computers. And if you catch him doing it, I'm not sure that merely confronting him will do anything. Instead you will simply risk alienating yourself from him.

The best way to handle this situation would be to sit down and talk with him. Tell him that you are not going to take away his internet or monitor his activity. Tell him that you trust him, and really make sure that he knows the consequences of his actions. Sadly, this is also the most difficult way to approach your situation, especially if your relationship with your son isn't the greatest.

Good luck. I hope that you and your son are able to make it through all of this.

[ambush]

Is this legal? I don't know, I'd say it's not.

Either way, as a teenager, I'd be really offended to know my dad is spying on me (even tho I *know* he would never do this.).

Anyway, just think of what would happen if he eventually discovers the spyware. I imagine this mega mac geek coming to fix his iBook, and then he tells him his iBook is reporting everything to his dad. Think of how your son would react. I, for one, know that I'd be angry enough to do stupid things. And you don't want your son to do stupid things.

A good father to son discussion would be better, me thinks.

my 2 cents.

Edit: OK, now I understand (after reading the CC stuff)

But I don't know any good keystroke recorder for OS X.

Hmm. There were TONS for Os9 tho.

Maybe you could search www.versiontracker.com

[Chuckit]

Originally posted by petehammer:
Another poster was right, it may be far more difficult in Panther/Jaguar to use a keystroke recorder without being caught than in OS9.

I haven't tried, but I don't imagine it would be very difficult for someone with a reasonable amount of experience to make a kext that does this. Give it some innocuous name like "MATSU1800" or something like that and you've got a piece of spyware that likely wouldn't be caught unless the user is really diligent or knows exactly what to look for.

Of course, depending on the user's level of experience, it could be a lot easier than this. If we're not talking about someone who's likely to run ps or look in the log folder, you could just make a regular daemon with an innocuous name ("dbd") and they'd probably never figure out what's happening.

[rjc3]

I'm sorry, what is a "kext"?

Originally posted by Chuckit:
I haven't tried, but I don't imagine it would be very difficult for someone with a reasonable amount of experience to make a kext that does this. Give it some innocuous name like "MATSU1800" or something like that and you've got a piece of spyware that likely wouldn't be caught unless the user is really diligent or knows exactly what to look for.

Of course, depending on the user's level of experience, it could be a lot easier than this. If we're not talking about someone who's likely to run ps or look in the log folder, you could just make a regular daemon with an innocuous name ("dbd") and they'd probably never figure out what's happening.

[rjc3]

and what is a daemon and how do I make one to accomplish my goals?

[Brass]

kext = kernel extension

daemon = process that runs continuously in the background (usually waiting for something to happen, which it would act on)

[rjc3]

A13 year old appreciate the consequences of his actions? DO you have children? or remember what is was to be 13? My recollection, although hazy at this point, is a feeling of immortality and a sense that nothing could touch me.
this is why we have different laws for minors - they are presumed unable to appreciate the wrongfullness and consequences of their actions, and are consequently held to a lower standard than adults.
Please understand that I have communicated my concerns to my son, belive he appreciates them, and am optimistic that my spying on him will confirm this. However, I have given my word to the judge that I would do everything in my power to make sure he does not do this again. Moreover, as a parent, I will do just about anything to protect my son, even from himself. You can say what you want about this being a shitty thing to do, and perhaps you are correct. My motivations, however, are simply to protect my son. Could he find out about this? Perhaps, and most likely he would hate me for it, at least until he was old enough to appreciate the stigma of a criminal conviction for felony fraud. At that point, I sincerely beleive he will come to understand my motivation and appreciate my "tough love" approach. My desire is not to be considered the "perfect dad" by my son - my only desire is to keep him out of trouble. If he hates me for protecting him, I can live with it. On the other hand, I could not live with the fact that I allowed my son to adversely affect his future by simply hoping that all-is-well.
I think of the silly pro-parenting commercial that airs along the lines of: "when I was 14, you grounded me for this and that, you checked up on me and my friends, you pried into my private and personal life and I hated you for it. Thank you" I don't expect my son to appreciate me spying on him at this point in his life. But I sincerely beleive that he will understand my justification when he is older and comes to appreciate the fact that he has no criminal record. Am I doing a shitty thing not trusting my son to stay out of trouble? Maybe. Am I a good parent for doing it? I say yes.
Like it or not, parents are obligated to look after their children until they are able to do so for themselves.
Again, I really appreciate everyone's comments and suggestions. Keep em coming please!

Originally posted by Turias:
Tell him that you trust him, and really make sure that he knows the consequences of his actions.

[cambro]

rjc3:

This is indeed tough. As others have mentioned, I would really talk to your son. Be open and honest about your concerns that he might do it again and why it could have such a big impact on his life.

[Sman55]

At 13 i think you have a duty to check up on your son considering the situation. But I respect the views of those who have warned about how he might feel about you doing this. On the other hand he may not care about your attempts to educate him in this matter and that fact may legitimate your "spying" on him.

This is essentially a matter of trust versus being a dutiful and diligent parent. Always a hard balancing act.

Maybe you should try some family therapy so you can discuss this situation in a way that may be beneficial for you as a family. Maybe you could get him some counselling.

That way you might help him think about his behaviour in a way that prevents these other complications from occurring. It is at times like these that our parenting ability become most tested. If the situation is so worrying maybe you should bring him home where you may be able to supervise and guide him more closely. I suppose there is that issue another subscriber brought up that he may use someone else's computer, but you would be able to monitor his activities more closely at home.

I wish you luck and careful judgment.

[bbales]

I know nothing about the programs, but I have to say -- I read about the first half of these posts and I am in dad's corner! Must be because I have three girls of my own -- and we try to figure out where they're going and what they're doing. Of course, since they live here in the house it's a little easier.

Parents have their reasons and sometimes they're really good ones.

Good luck.

[Turias]

Originally posted by rjc3:
DO you have children? or remember what is was to be 13?

I am 23, and don't have any children, yet. But I clearly remember what it was like to be 13. I also have a 13-year-old younger brother and know many 13-year-olds through him as well as through teaching at an elementary school.

That said, I stick to my above post. He is old enough to understand what could happen if he screws up again. And there is no way he feels invincible after being caught once. Just talk to him and trust him. That's really the only good way to approach this situation. Either that, or just be honest with him. Take away his internet or tell him you are sticking spyware on his machine.

Honesty and trust are much more powerful than deceit.

[rjc3]

Thanks for the idea. I hadn't considered telling him that I'm installing spyware on his computer, but I agree that this seems much more reasonable than doing so without his knowledge, provided he is unable to simply remove the program or bypass it without my knowledge. My only concern is one raised in previous posts: if he knows his computer is being monitored, he might simply use a friend's computer to do the deed, defeating the whole purpose of monitoring him.

Originally posted by Turias:
I am 23, and don't have any children, yet. But I clearly remember what it was like to be 13. I also have a 13-year-old younger brother and know many 13-year-olds through him as well as through teaching at an elementary school.

That said, I stick to my above post. He is old enough to understand what could happen if he screws up again. And there is no way he feels invincible after being caught once. Just talk to him and trust him. That's really the only good way to approach this situation. Either that, or just be honest with him. Take away his internet or tell him you are sticking spyware on his machine.

Honesty and trust are much more powerful than deceit.

[rozwado1]

Originally posted by rjc3:
My 13 year old son got into some trouble using appropriated credit card numbers on the internet.

Is it possible that he was using the stolen cards to get into "pay-per-view" porn sites? God knows I thought about that when I was 13...

If so, just send him a few free sites from an anonymous email account, and you'll be good to go.

[SSharon]

First I want to say good luck and hope everything turns out for the best.

I think that I would understand being spyed on if I had done something that wrong and the knowledge that I am being watched always bothers me into doing what's right. (Aside: I study in a lounge with security cameras just so I don't get distracted from my work). Someone else mentioned this before and I like the idea of telling him that you are spying on him, but maybe just don't tell him how. Or outsmart him (we will help of course) and duplicate the KSR kext so if he deletes one (make it have a semi-obvious name) he will think thats it but there will be another one. Also will invisible kexts (.ksr.kext) operate normally?

Or, I don't know if this is easy for you to do but what about having a friend watch him? Explain to a friend that its very important that he tell you if he sees your son doing anything illegal and that his silence can incriminate him as well.

Whatever you do though, good luck.

[rjc3]

okay, from what I've heard so far, I'm leaning towards telling him that I have ways of monitoring his computer, but stopping short of explaining exactly how it is done. Is there anyone who can help or point me towards more info on making daemons or kexts? From the little I've read here, it sounds like a daemon that would secretly send out a text file when it detected it was on the internet would be ideal. Is there anyway just to have the text file from a keystroke logger place a file in his "public" folder that would be accessable from the internet? Obviously I'd have to catch him when he is online, but, as with many 13 year olds, he is on the internet constantly so I'm not too worried about it.
Again, thanks for all the helpful comments and suggestions so far.
rjc3

[Turias]

Originally posted by rjc3:
Thanks for the idea. I hadn't considered telling him that I'm installing spyware on his computer, but I agree that this seems much more reasonable than doing so without his knowledge, provided he is unable to simply remove the program or bypass it without my knowledge. My only concern is one raised in previous posts: if he knows his computer is being monitored, he might simply use a friend's computer to do the deed, defeating the whole purpose of monitoring him.

I'm glad that you think it is a good idea to be upfront with him and tell him that you are going to put spyware on his computer. It shouldn't be hard to put something on there that notifies you if it is disabled or if the settings change. Also, if it stops reporting, that alone will tell you that he has done something with it.

So, you shouldn't worry too much about him bypassing it or removing it since you would know. Be sure to tell him that you would be notified if he tried to disable it or remove it. That alone should freak him out into not trying.

About the friend's computer... that is something you will always have to worry about and will never have any control over. There is always a point at which a parent can do no more. That's where the trust comes into play.

Someone else mentioned employing a friend as a spy. Don't even consider it. Any friend is going to go against you and stick up for his friend in a heartbeat.

[SSharon]

I can't help you with the kext (not even sure if this app needs one) or daemon but here is something that may help you.

http://www.versiontracker.com/dyn/moreinfo/macosx/19814

if not just take it back a step and search versiontracker.com for keystroke

http://www.versiontracker.com/php/se...;action=search

hope that helps

[CharlesS]

Heh, maybe if you tell him you're putting spyware on his machine but don't actually do it, it will scare him into not doing anything illegal because he will think he's being watched. And he'll have a hard time trying to find and remove the spyware...

[SSharon]

Turias: I agree that in most cases friends will stick up for each other but I think this is different. I remember when kids in my class would cheat all the principle would have to do is tell one kid that the other told on him and he would spill everything, when it comes to one of them getting in trouble people save themselves first. I think that warning his sons friend by telling him he could also get in trouble would do the trick, they just can't be sophisticated enough to figure out the entire plan, especially if you tell the friend that you have made the same arrangement with others and they have all sworn to secrecy.

[Turias]

Then, once you have the file saved to your harddrive, you can write a simple cron script to save the file to a location of your choice (either on his public folder or even to your computer via the internet). Do a google search on cron to see how they work. They are quite simple and there are a ton of examples out there.

[Arkham_c]

As someone mentioned, there are tons of keystroke loggers available.

Another thing to mention is you could set up a cron job that saves screen shots periodically, then ftp's them to an ftp site of your choosing.

Code:
filename="/tmp/cpt/screen.`date +'%Y.%m.%d.%H.%M.%s'`.pdf"
mkdir -p /tmp/cpt/ && \
  screencapture -x ${filename} && \
  gzip ${filename}

Combine that with a script of curl or wget and you have pictures sent to you at your leisure. You could use a python or perl script to send them via smtp (email).

[Love Calm Quiet]

Have you already seen the article on the main MacNN page on "Spector" ? http://macnn.com/rd.php?id=13691

It's designed for employer to keep tabs on employees to make sure they are "using computers appropriately." You might want to look at it. You may be able to *tell* your son that using his computer is conditional on that software being active on his machine. (like others, I'm surprised court did not put some such stipulation)

Might it be better to be *open* about his behavior being monitored? He'll not like it... but then isn't it also a bummer to have to have a driver's license to operate a car? and stay sober when operating it? There are costs for certain privileges - esp after you've abused them in the past.

[adamk]

one thing that you should think about is that placing spyware that records keystrokes would not accurately report, say, copying a text string that contains a CC number. one could easily copy characters from a webpage and paste them (a technique my friend used on a laptop when several of the keys were not functional).

best bet - talk to him.

[SSharon]

some of the KSR's take that into account and take timed screen shots so you can see what was going on. the last link to spector is good and has some nice features I suggest looking at it quickly.

but just to point out all of this is still just a deterent b/c his son can still pick up a phone and call some website and order something over the phone with the CC number. maybe we should tap his phone line too, and cell phone. there will always be a way, but only if he wants to.

[torifile]

No spyware needed. What I would do (and I totally respect your dilemma):

1) Create a non-privileged user for his account.
2) Edit his /etc/hosts file to redirect ALL traffic but those to particular, mutually agreed upon sites to 127.0.0.1.
3) Install an Openfirmware password preventing booting except from the startup volume so he can't change the root password

I *believe* that would make the computer as locked down as well as possible.

The benefits of this are that he and you can discuss what sites are beneficial for him to use - he could make an argument for espn.com, for example and you could hash it out. You're doing what you can to protect your son and he's a party to the decision making process. Of course, you've got the final say but it could be a give-take sort of thing and give him a sense that you respect his opinion.

As a therapist (in training right now), I can't really recommend doing this surreptitiously. The only reason I could think that you'd want to do this is to avoid a conflict (extremely understandable) but that's not a good enough reason. Good luck.

[wadesworld]

rj3,

Why does a 13-year-old NEED a laptop?

I'm sure he wants one, and I'm sure it makes life more convenient. I'm sure all his friends are IM'ing each other like crazy and doing other KeWl stuff. In fact, I'm sure it would really be painful for him to be one of the few that doesn't have a computer.

Therefore, I think taking it away from him may be the one thing that drives the lesson home about consequences for your actions. If schoolwork is an issue, I'm sure some sort of arrangement can be made with the school principal.

Just my thoughts, as a father of two (admittedly, nowhere near 13 yet).

Wade

[SSharon]

if I may add on to Wade:

how about make him use a PC laptop, thats worse than none at all. he does illegal things on it and all those windows apps spy on him its only fair.

[Mr.Clicky]

Just curious but how are you going to manage all this keystroke-logging and image snapshot auditing? That could easily turn into a mass of data to police. Also curious as to a) does not the boarding school have some resonsibility to ensure their facilities are not used for such activity? and b) why did the court not order cessation of internet access not related to school work or outside school class time? Shifts the onus back to the school to police their student's activity and doesn't cut him off from the internet when it's needed. Does every 13 year old *need* internet access outside of class time?

And what happens if you do catch him doing it again? Cover it up, tell him or both? Unfortunately no-one seems to have written any Multiplayer Trust Software. Pity...

[Mastrap]

rjc3


Have you thought about taking you son out of that school and having him live at home? It sounds to me that he got into the wrong company while being at that particular school and I would instantly try and change the environment he finds himself in.

Also, at home you would have far more control over his computing activities.

[ryaxnb]

Originally posted by Mastrap:
rjc3


Have you thought about taking you son out of that school and having him live at home? It sounds to me that he got into the wrong company while being at that particular school and I would instantly try and change the environment he finds himself in.

Also, at home you would have far more control over his computing activities.

Wow, never thought of that... great idea. You know, my profile lies, I'm 10. So I have a strong opinion about these things. Getting home and 'being personal' could help quite a bit.

[Mr Scruff]

In my view, this kind of 'arms race' between parent and child should only be initiated if you know you will win (ie. you are a computer scientist).

If you have to go on a forum to ask for assistance to achieve this you probably don't know enough to do this successfully.

[RMXO]

Originally posted by CharlesS:
Heh, maybe if you tell him you're putting spyware on his machine but don't actually do it, it will scare him into not doing anything illegal because he will think he's being watched. And he'll have a hard time trying to find and remove the spyware...

I have to agree with CharlesS idea. Just tell you are going to put spyware on his laptop. During his process of trying to find the Spyware, he will learn more about the OS. Could be a good.....

I for one understand your delinma. I for one screwed up in my late teens & early 20's. Now it has an affect on me to find work. Wished I knew what I know now.......

[moonmonkey]

Originally posted by rjc3:
Okay, I realize this might draw some nasty comments about respecting my son's privacy, but as a parent, I feel I have a right to know how my son is spending his time on the internet. In a nutshell, my son is away at boarding school and has dial up internet access from his dorm (despite the vast sums of $ we spend to send him there, they apparently do not have broadband access on campus). For reasons I'd rather not discuss on a public message board, I'd like to monitor his computer activity without him becoming aware of my snoopiness. Ideally, I'd like to have some sort of keystroke recorder set up that somehow either secretly emails me the text file every week or so (or when he logs on to the net). I'm open to other suggestions as well (for example, having his computer secretly post the text file somewhere where I can get at it via the internet).
Can anyone suggest how I might set this up? I'll have access to his computer over winter break (G4 iBook w/ panther). I appreciate all comments advising me how to do this, but really want to discourage people from launching tirades about respecting my son's privacy. I have personal reasons for doing this and have thought long and hard about my son's right to privacy vs. my obligations to ensure his safety and well-being. Suffice it to say that I have good reasons to monitor my son at this point in his life given some previous history, and I ask that you respect my decision as a parent, even if it is not the decision you would have arrived at.
THanks, I appreciate everyone's help on this.
rjc3

This is illegal.

Your Son has the same rights of data protection as you.

[naphtali]

Saw this on Mac Central

http://maccentral.macworld.com/news/2003/11/17/spector/

[mitchell_pgh]

I think the course of action should be:

1) Talk to the boy/girl

2) If you suspect that things aren't going well, pay him a surprise visit and ask him to use the computer for a second. Check out his bookmarks/history.

3) If you find disturbing links, then you need to lock down his computer usage.

Spying on your children is just like looking through their diary. That being said, it is your responsibility to keep your children under control. If you suspect him of doing something illegal or dangerous, keep him at home, call teachers and ask them questions, talk to his friends etc. etc.

It's better to look like an over caring parent then a spy.

[ebuddy]

C'mon Moonmonkey A 13 year old does NOT have the same data/access priveleges as one of the age of majority. In fact, there's a whole lot of data this kid is not even legally able to view! It is not illegal for a parent to browse through their child's diary, read their homework, talk to their friend's parents. It's this type of mentality that allows children way more freedom than they are capable of handling responsibly.

TO THE DAD; Here's my two cents and I'm most assuredly going to get flamed. I'd like to preface all that I say with IMHO; I believe the kid is in trouble specifically because he's at a boarding school and absolutely loathes it. He wants the attention and would likely rather spend time in a juvenile detention home than at that boarding school. You want files downloaded once a week with your son's keystrokes included? Instead of spending countless hours of time reading what the boy thinks, really sit down and talk to him daily in the comfort of your own home and over dinner.

This next one is a big IMHO;
Boarding Schools are for wealthy parents who want their kids out of the house prematurely. They are so willing to get the kids out that they'll spend thousands of dollars avoiding them. These are the most impressionable years of this kid's life and you're going to let complete strangers raise him through them. If he ended up at a boarding school because he was getting into trouble at home I'd say there's the possibility you spent even less time getting to know him then.

Bring the boy home. Save your money and invest it in a college fund for him. Spend the other half of the money saved on tuition and have him attend a good college preparatory school, private school, or parochial school in town. Take the laptop away. He can use the family computer in the livingroom during the hours of 3pm to 8pm if needed for studies and with the clear understanding that spyware is active and watching.

This will require sacrifice on behalf of the entire household, but then-no one ever said parenting was as easy as sending the kid away when he starts getting difficult. Most of us can't afford to do that nor do we have a child fraudulently using credit cards on the internet.
I apologize if the aforementioned does not meet with your agreement. I find that we all have difficulty being held accountable for our shortcomings. The good news is there's still time to fix this and it is not contingent upon the success or failure of software.

[typoon]

After reading all the posts No one seemed to mention possibly a conditional situation. You tell your son that you are going to install the spyware on his computer, tell him it will be for say a year or two then tell him if he doesn't get into anymore trouble in that time you will remove it. Of course like others have said he could go and use a friend's computer or the schools but this way he would/might learn that there are consequences to his actions but that after his time he will be given another chance. Something like that might work.

Whatever you decide good luck!

[mitchell_pgh]

No offense, but the father has every right in the world to monitor his child. He could install a program to monitor every keystroke, click etc. because it's his iBook, it's his child (under 18). End of story.

If my son/daughter was caught doing such illegal activities, it would be my first plan of action along with no internet privileges.

[mitchell_pgh]

Funny, this just came out last night...

http://spectorsoft.com/products/Spec...osh/index.html