[davesimondotcom]

TOP SECRET
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From the desk of Karl Rove
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Dear XXXXX XXXXX (name removed)

If you are recieving this memo, it means you have in some way furthered the neo-con agenda enough to get my attention.

You may you may be wondering exactly what the "neo-con agenda" is. Well, this is a memo to let you know that it may or may not exist, but it does have a name:

Secret Plan to Ordain a Republican King (SPORK)

This plan has three prongs and a large, concave surface connected to a handle. A copy of the plan is obtainable at your local Taco Bell, where it is neatly packaged in individual plastic wraps.

It is no coincidence that SPORK is handy for eating Tex-Mex type cuisine. Being able to both stab and scoop is a very valuable skill. I find SPORK especially handy in eating refried beans. I suggest you try it.

I hope that with this information, you can continue to funnel money to our party and I can continue to guarantee contracts to [insert giant corporation name here.]

If you have recieved this memo in error, please discard. We wouldn't want any lefties getting ahold of it, now would we.

This strategery will self-destruct in [insert the half-life of paper here.]

Sincerely,

Karl Rove

CC: GWB, JA, DR, PW

[Lerkfish]

If you had only written this a bit wittier, I'd laugh.

The problem is, its obviously targeting me, and the only choice I have is to laugh or get upset. I'm not upset, I have no problem with a good-natured jab at my expense, but I'd have appreciated it more as humor if had only been a wee bit funnier.

nice try, though! I appreciate the effort.

[davesimondotcom]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:

If you had only written this a bit wittier, I'd laugh.

The problem is, its obviously targeting me, and the only choice I have is to laugh or get upset. I'm not upset, I have no problem with a good-natured jab at my expense, but I'd have appreciated it more as humor if had only been a wee bit funnier.

nice try, though! I appreciate the effort.

It was an attempt at humor that may or may not have succeeded.

It wasn't "targeting" you, except to lighten the mood around here, which is targeting everyone.

Honestly, the body of the whole thing was just a bunch of bull so that I could use the term SPORK in a post. That's been my goal for a long time. I'm a big fan of sporks. It's a very underrated utensil.

[Face Ache]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
You may you may be wondering exactly what the "neo-con agenda" is. Well, this is a memo to let you know that it may or may not exist, but it does have a name:

Secret Plan to Ordain a Republican King (SPORK)

This plan has three prongs...

I dunno Lerk. That bit was pretty funny.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
It was an attempt at humor that may or may not have succeeded.

It wasn't "targeting" you, except to lighten the mood around here, which is targeting everyone.

Honestly, the body of the whole thing was just a bunch of bull so that I could use the term SPORK in a post. That's been my goal for a long time. I'm a big fan of sporks. It's a very underrated utensil.

If you say so.

However, I DO find sporks funny. But maybe that's because they rhyme with dorks.

[davesimondotcom]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
If you say so.

However, I DO find sporks funny. But maybe that's because they rhyme with dorks.

You know what the funniest thing possible is? A monkey using a spork while farting and dressed in drag.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
You know what the funniest thing possible is? A monkey using a spork while farting and dressed in drag.

actually, I recall a dialogue from the "Sunshine Boys", in which Walter Matthou is lecturing his nephew/agent on what is funny....

"Words with K in them are funny."



I think ultimately humor is a matter of taste...Brits are more dry, just as an example, if one can judge by their relative television programming.

[davesimondotcom]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
actually, I recall a dialogue from the "Sunshine Boys", in which Walter Matthou is lecturing his nephew/agent on what is funny....

"Words with K in them are funny."



I think ultimately humor is a matter of taste...Brits are more dry, just as an example, if one can judge by their relative television programming.

I remember that - for a number of reasons. Saw the movie. But also had two friends perform the Sunshine Boys play in high school.

Monkey and Spork are "K" words. Farts are auditory/gross-out humor. Dressing in drag is just visual hilarity.

To add a British twist, perhaps the Monkey could perform Funny Walks.

[boots]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
You know what the funniest thing possible is? A monkey using a spork while farting and dressed in drag.

LOL!!! maybe not. If I were five, maybe.

Oh, hell. It is funny.

I think the memo could be funnier with a little group effort. I mean, of all the cutlery out there, only the spork is truly american. It is the projection of American power at the heart of the neocon agenda. Put it together, and Karl Rove could be pushing sporks on military bases and in embassies around the world. Monetary aid could be with-held until a country adopts the spork as a national utensil.

Lots of potential.

[davesimondotcom]

You know we're going to force those Iraqis to eat with sporks... soon, they, too, will be overweight as a nation!!

You have to understand the power of the spork manufacturing companies to understand the power of the spork. (Bechtel, I believe, is the #1 manufacturer of sporks, but this is yet to be verified.)

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
You know we're going to force those Iraqis to eat with sporks... soon, they, too, will be overweight as a nation!!

You have to understand the power of the spork manufacturing companies to understand the power of the spork. (Bechtel, I believe, is the #1 manufacturer of sporks, but this is yet to be verified.)

see? now this is starting to shape up. I think you had a fine idea originally, but maybe if we all pitch in, as boots suggests, we push it that much farther over the edge. I like edgy. Unfortunately, there's no "K" in edgy.

[davesimondotcom]

edg(k)e.

The K is silent.

[Zimphire]

I only see 2 prongs.

[davesimondotcom]

Proof that the conspiracy is real!!



Why else would Clinton and Newt be holding a spork together with large grins on their face.

And furthering the conspiracy, when one clicks on this pic in the google image search results, the page that it came from is GONE. They are on to us!!