[eklipse]

WASHINGTON, DC—Since it began in May, the Bush 2004 re-election campaign has been responsible for creating thousands of new jobs, officials announced Monday.

"The Bush-Cheney campaign is giving a much-needed boost to the troubled economy," said Ken Mehlman, Bush's campaign manager. "Every penny we receive is immediately pumped back into the economy, and we've already created thousands of jobs for out-of-work speechwriters, graphic designers, and door-to-door canvassers."

Though Bush has yet to formally announce his candidacy, his campaign war chest surpassed the $100 million mark on Nov. 13. With 11 months remaining before the election, the Bush campaign is well on its way to its goal of raising a record-breaking $170 million.

"While other segments of the economy are undergoing hiring freezes, the Bush-Cheney campaign is experiencing rapid growth," Mehlman said. "We've hired everything from computer technicians to manage the campaign's database of registered Republicans to an entire team of producers to create our television ads. George W. Bush is putting Americans back to work."

"With the U.S. unemployment rate hovering around 6 percent, this influx of employment capital represents no small example of the success of the Republican Party's economic policy," Mehlman added. "And we're just gearing up. Our campaign projects consistent, quarter-by-quarter expansion for the next 11 months."

Besides high-tech and skilled positions, the campaign has created thousands of jobs in the service sector.

"Walk through our massive national campaign headquarters, and you'll see how many workers it takes just to empty the garbage cans," Mehlman said. "Imagine all the people it takes to cater a fundraising dinner, then multiply that number by all the restaurants, hotels, and convention centers that the president will stop at along the campaign trail. Those red, white, and blue posters don't hang themselves, you know."

The campaign has created manufacturing jobs, as well.

"Blue-collar laborers all across the country are rolling out billions of posters and T-shirts," Mehlman said. "We just placed an order for 6,000 boxes of 'Viva Bush' buttons. The people working in that factory in Georgia will tell you what Bush can do for the economy."

Mehlman said the Bush campaign's positive effect on the economy far outpaces that of the leading Democratic candidates.

"The Democrats simply can't say they're doing as much for the economy as we are," Mehlman said. "Howard Dean is out there collecting $50 donations on the Internet. As of Sept. 30, his campaign had a mere $25.4 million. How many workers can that paltry sum sustain?"

In contrast, Mehlman cited a recent Republican fundraiser held at the private residence of the chairman of Watermark Communities Inc., a company that builds golf retirement communities.

"The Florida fundraiser employed hundreds of people, from the swing-choir members to the waiters who served the Angus beef and potatoes," Mehlman said. "That dinner pulled in $1.7 million—which will be used to throw more fundraisers, thereby creating even more jobs."

Bush called his fundraising success "a positive indicator for the nation's struggling economy."

"This job-creating initiative is good for my re-election campaign and good for Americans," Bush said. "With the generosity of Pioneer-level donors like William McGuire, chairman of United Health Care Group, and Warren Staley, CEO of the Cargill agribusiness company, this country will be back on its feet in no time. Bush-Cheney '04 is turning money into jobs."

Bush said that, although his administration is "narrowing in on economic recovery in America," more work is needed.

Discuss!

[SimeyTheLimey]

I love The Onion.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by eklipse:
Discuss!

Do they not realize these jobs disappear after the election? Graphic artists and printers, Ad campaign people are loaning themselves out (unless this runs against normal practice) as contractors rather than employees.
Canvassers are not paid a great deal, and even so that is seasonal at best.

Unless they intend to keep these people on after the election? If they do, and find them government jobs, then it will be at taxpayer expense.

I really, really confused at the logic here. This appears to be the ULTIMATE in spin.

edit: d'oh! hey, next time, tell people its from the Onion.

[voodoo]

http://www.theonion.com/3947/top_story.html

[eklipse]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
edit: d'oh! hey, next time, tell people its from the Onion.

Oh....whoops.....silly eklipse....must've......errrr.....slipped my mind....yeah...that's it....

Looks like my partisan elephant-trap only landed a single fish.

(Simey, you could've kept quiet for a bit! )

[BlackGriffen]

I thought that Bush was creating new jobs... in India, where the Bush campaign is outsourcing its call centers.

BlackGriffen

[thunderous_funker]

Originally posted by BlackGriffen:
I thought that Bush was creating new jobs... in India, where the Bush campaign is outsourcing its call centers.

BlackGriffen

[swrate]

Originally posted by voodoo:
http://www.theonion.com/3947/top_story.html

onion, yes, had a lot for supper as it is good to eradicate flues...

hit and run... I mean this job growth, in US.... as in many places,
I suppose, election campaigns and wars produce jobs.

[davesimondotcom]

It was funny when it was in the Onion.

It was even funnier when Lerk jumped on with his predictable reaction before he reailized it was in the Onion.

(Lerk, it's only fair that I call your reaction predictable, after all, you said all conservatives would react the same ways to Newt's comments.)

[petehammer]

To somewhat quote Homer Simpson:

It's funny because it could be true.

The humor lies in the already massive amounts of spin from this administration.

[lil'babykitten]

Oh shush dave! Had simey not spoiled the fun, you rightys would have done worse!

[voodoo]

Originally posted by lil'babykitten:
Oh shush dave! Had simey not spoiled the fun, you rightys would have done worse!

You bet.

[davesimondotcom]

Originally posted by lil'babykitten:
Oh shush dave! Had simey not spoiled the fun, you rightys would have done worse!

I already saw the article in the Onion before that!

[SimeyTheLimey]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
I already saw the article in the Onion before that!

Well I hadn't. I just glanced at the article and thought to myself that it just had to be The Onion. So I went to the Onion to see and there it was.

Sorry that I spoiled Eklipse's fun.

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
It was funny when it was in the Onion.

It was even funnier when Lerk jumped on with his predictable reaction before he reailized it was in the Onion.

(Lerk, it's only fair that I call your reaction predictable, after all, you said all conservatives would react the same ways to Newt's comments.)

nah, being fair is not what you were reaching for, here. You wanted to nail my hide to the wall, and took this ripe opportunity.

but, for what its worth, if you actually read what I said, I said I was confused by it twice, meaning, I found it a bizarre thing even for a republican to say.