[Lerkfish]

Ok, this is a thread for people to predict what they think will be the most likely realistic (or, if you want, the most hilarious ficticious) campaign slogans or tactics of the upcoming 2004 elections.

[Lerkfish]

HOWARD DEAN: You gotta trust a guy with two first names.

HOWARD DEAN: Funded by the internet can't be good.

GEORGE W. BUSH: Defending American against pretzels everywhere!

CLARK: He's just hawkish enough

BUSH/CHENEY: The Texan and the Invisible Man

[SimeyTheLimey]

Dean: "It's mourning in America."
Bush: "September 11, 2001, a date that will live indefinately."

[davesimondotcom]

Mosley-Braun/Kusinich: "No, really, I am running for President. Of the United States. Of America. Really. Not kidding. Seriously."

Sharpton: "He wanna vote for Al. She wanna vote for All. You wanna vote for Al. Tawana vote for Al!"

Dean: "I don't treat my servants as servents. Call me DOCTOR, dammit!!"

Dean: "Don't like the Bush Doctorine? Vote the Doctor In 2004"

GWB: "A Strategery For the Future"

GWB: "Don't Change Cowboys Midstream"

[davesimondotcom]

John Kerry: "57 Varieties"

John Kerry: "If elected, I have the power to make green ketchup illegal."

John Kerry: "I may be behind now, but I'll ketchup!"

John Kerry: "F*ck!"

John Edwards: "I have great hair."

Hillary Clinton: "Endorsed by Gas Station Ghandi's everywhere."

Joe Lieberman: "Loosly translated, my name means Lover Man."

Richard Gephardt: "Think about it, would you rather have Bush or Dick?"

[davesimondotcom]

Clark: "I'm a General. So running for President was the only way I could get a promotion."

Clark: "No, I won't be a Vice President. That title belongs to Bill Clinton. He had enough vices for everyone."

Dean: "My cabinet will be the Fab Five from Queer Eye."

Al Gore: "American Idle."

[Millennium]

Dean: "Bush is bad, mmmkay?"

[davesimondotcom]

Originally posted by Millennium:
Dean: "Bush is bad, mmmkay?"

Maybe THAT'S why he's getting so much support from the gay community. (Just kidding, nothing to see here.)

[Millennium]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
Maybe THAT'S why he's getting so much support from the gay community. (Just kidding, nothing to see here.)

Or perhaps "Dubya's bad, mmmkay?" would be less ambiguous. Either way, it's true that a lot of his campaign centers around his not being Dubya.

Which is one of the reasons he worries me. He's the polar opposite: every bit as extreme, just in the other direction. From neocon past conservative and liberal to socialist, from wolverine past hawk and dove to doormat, from authoritarian past moderate to libertine, and so forth. In the end, he'd be about as bad as Bush, just in exactly the opposite ways.

There's nothing wrong with being dissatisfied with Bush. The problem is, many who are have lost sight of the concept that The Other Side can be just as bad. What we need right now is a moderate, and Dean is many things, but moderate isn't one of them. The pendulum must swing; the balance must correct itself, as it always does in the end. But we cannot afford to have the pendulum swing all the way to the other side in a single term. Not now.

[davesimondotcom]

Kucinich: "Let my mighty pie charts be heard throughout the land."

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
Kucinich: "Let my mighty pie charts be heard throughout the land."

hey! that coulda worked for Perot, as well.

GEPHARDT: Eyebrows? I don' need no steenkin EYEBROWS!

[davesimondotcom]

Originally posted by Lerkfish:
hey! that coulda worked for Perot, as well.

Did Perot use pie charts on radio? Kusinich did.

[eklipse]

Dubya: "Two garages in every car."

[SimeyTheLimey]

Originally posted by eklipse:
Dubya: "Two garages in every car."

That's just a feature of next year's model SUV.

But I guess in the same vein, if Bill Clinton could run again, his slogan would be "Pot in every Chicken."

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by SimeyTheLimey:
That's just a feature of next year's model SUV.

But I guess in the same vein, if Bill Clinton could run again, his slogan would be "Pot in every Chicken."

Pot in every Chicken, Don't inhale.

[Lerkfish]

LIEBERMAN: Read My Lips: they're attached to Dubya's @ss

[davesimondotcom]

GWB: "Amnesty International"

[zigzag]

Originally posted by davesimondotcom:
Kucinich: "Let my mighty pie charts be heard throughout the land."

I wonder if Marlee Matlin was listening in.

Imagine how Stevie Wonder must feel - first Dubya waves at him, and the next thing ya know, Kuchinich wants to show him pie charts. "Now, Stevie, if you'll just take a look at this chart . . . "

Gephardt: "Ain't Too Proud To Beg"
Lieberman: "If I Were A Rich Man"
Kuchinich: "You're Right, I'm Left, She's Gone"
Dean: "War (What Is It Good For?)"
Moseley-Braun: "I Am Woman"
Clark: "Promises Promises"
Edwards: "Hair"
Sharpton: "That's Entertainment"
Kerry: "It's All Over Now"
Gore: "Don't Mess With Bill"
Bush: "She's Got A Drinking Problem, And It's Me"

Of course, I guarantee that if things go badly in Iraq, the Democratic candidate will characterize Bush as "Between Iraq and a hard place."

[macvillage.net]

Gephardt:" I have blonde hair on my website, and it's hosted on Windows. Move along."

Lieberman: "Vote for me, or your antisemetic"

Kucinich: "I won't win because people can't say my name". Besides. 'The Bush's', 'The Clintons', 'The Washingtons' all sound ok, but 'The Kucinich's' sounds 'The Dukakis's'... YIKES!"

Dean: "Most people like to eat Jimmy Deans Sausage. Interns like to suck on Howard Deans Sausage."

Moseley-Braun: "I'd win if it weren't for racist, sexist pigs."

Clark: "I have a blog Leave a comment, or use trackback. Link to me, and I link to you!"

Edwards: "Is that my first name? Or my last name?"

Sharpton: "Vote for me, or I'll accuse you of unjust discrimination"

Kerry: "I know I'm not going to win, but I want to make a name for myself"

Gore: "" [Nuff Said]


Bush: "Vote for me, or your anti-american, anti-family, and will be arrested on terrorism charges."

I think they are pretty accurate. I'm expecting Bush to make that his official one The others, seem to have already.

[jbartone]

Bush/Cheney '04: Is our children learning?

[davesimondotcom]

Hopefully nobody: "Who let the dogs out! Woof! WOOF WOOF!"

[Buck_Naked]

My money is on Ronald Reagan dying just before the Election.

[osiris]

"Bush/Cheney: Vote for us, or something really bad will happen again. And we know where you live."

[davesimondotcom]

Clark: "Vote for me, I guarantee there will be no terrorist attacks if I'm President. I can also predict horse races."

[kindbud]

Bush: The hillbilly threat is real.

Gephardt: The AFL-CIO pretty much financed my career. I'm banking on the unemployed 5.8% of the vote.

Dean: I'm banking on the peacenik anti-Bush liberal votes. Both of them.

Sharpton: Is this microphone turned on?


Moseley-Braun: Are churdren be dyin 'cause the Republicans is starvin 'em.

[kindbud]

Only liberals have a hyphenated last name. remember that. makes them easy to spot.

[BlackGriffen]

Bush: "Stupid is as stupid does (crap, can't say that)
Stupid is as stupid says (D'oh! I look dumb that way, too)
Stupid as as Rove says (Yeah, that's the ticket!)"

Dean: "I won't just play doctor in the White House."

Clark: "AWOL from the National Guard, or a career General, who do you want to watch your back today?"

BlackGriffen

[SimeyTheLimey]

Originally posted by BlackGriffen:
Dean: "I won't just play doctor in the White House."

You mean as opposed to Clinton, who played doctor in the Oval Office?

[Lerkfish]

Originally posted by SimeyTheLimey:
You mean as opposed to Clinton, who played doctor in the Oval Office?

er...I thought he was playing "tobacconist"?

[eklipse]

Clark: "Does my butt look big in this?"

[davesimondotcom]

Resurrecting an old thread - please note the accuracy of Buck Naked's post above...

I came up with a couple of new slogans, picking up on a Reagan theme, for Kerry:

John Kerry: It's Mourning Again in America

John Kerry: It's Boring Again in America

And for Bush:

George W. Bush: The Low Carb Candidate (I don't eat pretzels anymore)

[MindFad]

Originally posted by Buck_Naked:
My money is on Ronald Reagan dying just before the Election.

Hot damn, how close you were.

[Millennium]

Bush: "I'm Bush!"
Kerry: "I'm Not Bush!"

[lil'babykitten]

Originally posted by Millennium:
Bush: "I'm Bush!"
Kerry: "I'm Not Bush!"

[itai195]

Originally posted by Millennium:
Bush: "I'm Bush!"
Kerry: "I'm Not Bush!"

Heh. What was the joke the Daily Show had about this? In response to the "Yes, America can" slogan on Bush's bus, John Kerry's bus said something like "Indeed, the potential exists within the American nation-state ..." and Stewart said they'd need a bigger bus.

[Tater Salad]

Originally posted by MindFad:
Hot damn, how close you were.

And that is good, right?

[MindFad]

Originally posted by Tater Salad:
And that is good, right?

I was saying how close he was in his prediction. I never agreed with the man's policies and wasn't fond of his Presidency, but I didn't feel joy or "good" when he died. If you would like to think that about me, and need something to whine about, go for it, chief.

[DBursey]

Bush: Life is like a bombin' run; yuh neva know whut yer gonna git

[PacHead]

KERRY AD: I voted for myself, before I voted for Bush.

KERRY AD : Are you an admirer of fat, lying, anti-American slobs, and have you recently spent ten bucks (or more) at your local movie theatre ? In that case, join your fellow comrades and vote for me this Nov !

KERRY AD : Fellow Americans, with support from multiple "foreign" endorsments from people like Chirac, Shroeder and probably Al-Qaeda, how can anybody not vote for me ?

KERRY AD : Vote for Kerry, or he will be "cutting all your fuXXing legs off at the knees."

[rhansen_x]

JANET RENO: I'm your man.

[rhansen_x]

JAMES TRAFICANT: Because I'm honest and I have presidential hair!

[effgee]

Originally posted by SimeyTheLimey:
Bush: "September 11, 2001, a date that will live indefinately."

My money is on:

Bush: "September 11, 2001, the day I will use to hang on to my office indefinitely."