[JohnSmithXTREME]

One day, I observed an image, and I had a revelation that changed my perception of the world in ways hardly imaginable. Behold:



As I watched my plane crossing the Atlantic, i suddenly noticed that the map was flat. So I looked out the window, and thought to myself "surely if the earth is round, i would see the curvature from this altitude." But alas, the earth still looked flat. This piqued my curiosity, and when I got to london I borrowed some binoculars from a friend, went onto the eye of london, and much to my suprise, I saw this:


do you see the little speck? I have enlarged it with a computer program. it turns out to be manhattan!

I concluded that the world was flat, and now, years later, I finally have all the proof I need to show you that the world is not round, but it is a conspiracy by ultra-right wing multinational companies. In order to aid their globalisation, they have to trick you into thinking that there is a "Globe" in the first place. So secret government organisations perpetuate this conspiracy in order to benefit the richest patrons of the Republican Party.

Here is some useful information on the subject:

1. What is the Earth's shape?

The Earth is flat. It is shaped in the form of a pentagon, and thus has five corners.

2. What is the "middle corner"?
If one was to draw a line from each corner to the centre of the opposing side of the Earth, the line would intersect in the middle of the Flat Earth. This place is known as the Middle Corner.

3. Hey, wait a minute, that is not a real corner...

So? The equator of the spherical earthers is an imaginary line as well. Does this mean that their model does not have a northern and a southern hemisphere? You cannot count in imaginary numbers, but does that mean that they do not exist?

4. What about the northern and southern hemisphere?

Globularist rot. This implies the Earth being a SPHERE, which it is not. The Earth has, however, an Inner and Outer Ring.

5. What is Platygæanism?

Platygæanism is the scientific hypothesis which holds that the Earth is flat or planar in topology.

5. Does the "middle corner" prove that 5=6?

Yes.

6. How are continents located on the Flat Earth.

Generally, the "southernmost" continents are on the outside, whereas the "northern" ones are on the inside.

7. Does this mean that the Middle Corner is at the North Pole?

Not necessarily. It may be anywhere in the northern part of the Earth.

8. What is, then, at the south pole?

The Edge of the World. It is surrounded, at least in places, by a huge mountain range.

9. Where are the corners of the Earth?

Opinion is still divided on this issue. Conventional wisdom places the five corners at the following locations:

Corner 1: the northernmost extent of Lake Mikhayl in Tunguska, Siberia

Corner 2: Greenland or Iceland (Ultima Thule); though some researchers place it at Brimstone Head, on Fogo Island, Newfoundland, Canada.

Corner 3: Easter Island.

Corner 4: Uncertain; possibly Hokkaido (Japan), Lhasa (Nepal), or a desolate location in Outer Mongolia.

Corner 5: Somewhere near the south of Tasmania or New Zealand, though some researchers have suggested somewhere in the vicinity of the South Pacific island of Ponape.



9. How long is the edge of the Earth?

The edge of the Earth is infinitely long.

10. Does this mean that the Earth has infinite area?

No, no more than England does. See Benoit Mandelbrot for more information.

11. Does this fit in with the Hollow Earth theory?

Yes. Beneath the Earth, or hanging off the edges, is a land populated by either green-skinned women or Nazis. All those claiming to have seen this have misinterpreted it to fit in with the spurious and false Spherical Earth theory.

12. Did H. P. Lovecraft know about the Flat Earth?

Yes. Read At the Mountains of Madness. The choice of the South Pole by the Old Ones makes more sense with the Flat Earth Theory.

13. What about gravity?

Gravity is a lie invented by the purveyors of the inherently false spherical Earth theory. The theory of gravity has never been proven. There is no gravity, only inertia. The Earth moves through space like a giant elevator. We do not fall off because we are kept down by inertia. The Earth has inertia.
There is a school of thought which states, however, that the Earth does not move through space, but rather that it rests on the back of a giant turtle, and that what we call gravity is, in fact, the turtle's animal magnetism.

14. What about photographs of the Earth from the moon?

Most of these are fake. It is well known that the "moon landing" was faked. The film of what is claimed to be the moon was taken in the desert in the US state of Arizona.
There exist some genuine photographs from high altitudes, which appear to the untrained eye to show a spherical Earth. The reason for this effect is that the Earth's atmosphere becomes denser the further one ascends, after thinning out at about 5 miles. This causes light to be refracted more at high altitudes, giving the appearance of a spherical Earth.
The reason the atmosphere becomes denser is the increased pressure. If not for this extreme pressure, the sun, and all stars, would not be able to hold together but would gradually dissipate in accordance with the gas laws, and Brownian motion (see any basic school physics text). Further proof that there is atmosphere all the way between the earth and the sun, moon, etc, is that heat from the sun warms the earth. Heat cannot travel through a vacuum, as anyone who has ever used a vacuum flask knows. Real astronauts would need pressure suits to protect them from the incredibly high pressures they would encounter.

15. How does the Earth move through space?

There are two schools of thought: one which states that the Earth is constantly moving in a straight line, and the other which states that the Earth is moving in a toroidal shape. There is a popular opinion which states that the Earth does not move as such, but rather that space moves around the Earth.

16. Can ships be 'lost' at the edge of the Earth?

Yes, at least in places where there are no mountains preventing this from occurring. The edge of the Earth is, in places a tremendous waterfall, and anything going over the edge will disappear into the aether. This can also happen to aircraft which fly off the edge.

17. If large amounts of water disappear off the edge, where does all the water come from?

This is an argument for the theory that the Earth has a toroidal orbit. In a toroidal orbit, all the water which disappears off the edges falls back to Earth as rain when the Earth revolves about its orbit. This also means that the inhabitants of ships and aircraft lost in space will, in some occasions, return to Earth.

18. Does this explain Fortean phenomena, such as frog-falls?

Perhaps. One is tempted to believe that the frogs, fish and other beings are somehow expelled into space off the edge of the Earth. However, this conflicts with the long-established Mad Fishmonger theory, which states that showers of fish are the work of a deranged fishmonger and his cohorts. (See The Schrodinger's Cat Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson for more details.)

19. What is the "Springfield Effect"?

The Springfield Effect is the name given to the phenomenon by which every place named Springfield is hard-linked in hyperspace to every other place of this name. In other words, there is only one place named Springfield, but it is "linked" to various locations in the world.

20. Does Idaho exist

No. The existence of Idaho is a lie, fabricated by a conspiracy of cartographers, as is England (see question 10).

21. What about North Dakota?

That doesn't exist either.

22. Any other places which are believed to exist but really don't?

Yes, Australia. And then there are the cryptogeographica, places such as Kadath, Carcosa, Hobbiton, Narnia, Hy-Brasil, Hell and such whose existence has not been satisfactorily proven.

Also, I have included some scientific evidence in case you require hard facts:

[demograph68]

Nice parody.

http://forums.macnn.com/showthread.p...hreadid=246671

[Disgruntled Head of C-3PO]

How gay

[JohnSmithXTREME]

Originally posted by demograph68:
these are all lies

oh really? as i seem to recall, numbers don't lie

[JohnSmithXTREME]

Originally posted by Disgruntled Head of C-3PO:
How gay

They are so 1998

[demograph68]

Originally posted by Disgruntled Head of C-3PO:
How gay

You shouldn't be so ashamed of yourself.

[Twilly Spree]

If the Earth is flat, then let's find the edge and throw JohnSmithX off.

If only this thread had been funny or something. Alas it's just crap.

[demograph68]

Originally posted by Twilly Spree:
If the Earth is flat, then let's find the edge and throw JohnSmithX off.

If only this thread had been funny or something. Alas it's just crap.

He's just mocking the 9/11 conspiracy thread.

[Twilly Spree]

Originally posted by demograph68:
He's just mocking the 9/11 conspiracy thread.

Aye he probably is.. why he had to start his own thread about it is a mystery.

Seems more like a "hey everybody look at meeeee" kind of thread.

[JohnSmithXTREME]

Originally posted by Twilly Spree:
bla bla bla I don't like JohnSmith threads but I read them anyways and then complain about it bla bla bla

[Twilly Spree]

Originally posted by JohnSmithXTREME:

Awww, there there JSX, it's not your fault you're not funny..

[Scientist]

I found it amusing... It sort of reminds me of the anti-evolution threads.

[Millennium]

Sure. If I take a clump of earth and shape it into a disk or a tile or some similar object, then the earth would be flat.

Oh, wait; you mean the planet? Um... no. One of my friends is writing a novel set in a world which is an infinite flat plane, but it's a fantasy novel. Neat concept, though; the habitable world is surrounded by an infinite sheet of flat ice, and if you go to the edge of the ice you can actually see forever, but the experience will drive you mad. There's a tribe in this world whose parents bring newborn babies out to the edge (the parents are blindfolded but the babies are not), and the babies look out over the edge while they're too young to remember. Because the babies can't remember the sight they're not driven insane, but everyone in the tribe can honestly claim to have seen forever. It's a neat cultural detail.

[nath]

Originally posted by Millennium:
One of my friends is writing a novel set in a world which is an infinite flat plane, but it's a fantasy novel. Neat concept, though; the habitable world is surrounded by an infinite sheet of flat ice, and if you go to the edge of the ice you can actually see forever, but the experience will drive you mad. There's a tribe in this world whose parents bring newborn babies out to the edge (the parents are blindfolded but the babies are not), and the babies look out over the edge while they're too young to remember. Because the babies can't remember the sight they're not driven insane, but everyone in the tribe can honestly claim to have seen forever. It's a neat cultural detail.

sounds like terry pratchett on bad acid. not a nice proposition.

[SimpleLife]

It depends of one's point of view and the tools used.

From ground level, the Earth is flat.

If you start to be a bit more attentive, and notice the mountains, the trenches etc, it is flat no more, but generally, it still is.

Now change you altitude, and if your visual system is normal, the Earth turns less flatt, and acquires a third dimension. Unless you travelled by Sea, deducing the spherical shape of the planet is not that intuitive.

By the way, a sphere is an infinite plane in geometry; it becomes flatter as it increases in size.

Evidently, the first poster is delusional.



But seriously, relative opacity is your friend; one's point of view is right if we take into account the context of his observation. Reality is composed of the set of all (or most) point of views.

[Millennium]

Originally posted by nath:
sounds like terry pratchett on bad acid. not a nice proposition.

The cultural note is actually very minor; it's only mentioned once or twice. I thought it was neat, though.

[JohnSmithXTREME]

Originally posted by SimpleLife:
... the Earth is flat.

If you ... be ... attentive ... flat ... it ... is.

I will have to quote you endlessly when I write my book on the subject!

[nath]

Originally posted by Millennium:
The cultural note is actually very minor; it's only mentioned once or twice. I thought it was neat, though.

it probably is....i'm allergic to most fantasy stuff is the problem. makes me break out in a rash