[besson3c]

The whole sacramental bread thing is interesting to me.

I know it's supposed to be symbolic, but shouldn't the people that have been really bad need larger portions of wafer even if just symbolically? What would happen if you went to a Catholic or Protestant church and then after you got your portion you told the minister that you masturbated that week and therefore need a larger portion? Or, if you said that you cheated on your husband/wife and wanted some extreme communion? What would they do?

What would happen if you brought a little Frank's hot sauce with you or something like it to make your wafer a little tastier, would that get you booted out of the church? What happens if you really can't stand the taste of the wafer or they made you flatulent? Would it be more insulting to eat and vomit the wafer or to politely and discreetly garnish it to your liking?

[The Final Dakar]

There's no thought that goes through that little head of yours that you're unwilling to post, is there?

[Dork.]

Someone needs to rethink this whole "Bread of God" thing. Shouldn't Jesus be beefy?

[olePigeon]

The Catholic church used to accept indulgences. The more you sin, the more you could pay them money for forgiveness. They had stopped the practice for a long time, but they've since brought it back. Of course, you can always just go to Confession.

If you're Protestant, I suppose you just talk to your priest. I don't remember communion ever being about forgiving people of sin.

[Chongo]

Who Can Receive Communion?

The Church sets out specific guidelines regarding how we should prepare ourselves to receive the Lord’s body and blood in Communion. To receive Communion worthily, you must be in a state of grace, have made a good confession since your last mortal sin, believe in transubstantiation, observe the Eucharistic fast, and, finally, not be under an ecclesiastical censure such as excommunication.

[andi*pandi]

^that

[Dork.]

I doubt the Baltimore Catechism has any guidance regarding the sacramental uses of Frank's Hot Sauce.

[besson3c]

Unless you're a kid, in which case you can make your arms into an x and not receive communion, but receive a blessing instead.

[Chongo]

That would be "sacrilegious' use of Frank's Hot Sauce and would be profaning the Eucharist. This is why the practice of taking communion in the hand will soon end.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Chongo 

Who Can Receive Communion?

I guess you should probably add something about being okay with the concept of cannibalism too?

[imitchellg5]

You're a complete mentalist.

[Chongo]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I guess you should probably add something about being okay with the concept of cannibalism too?

John 6:51-68 has that covered

51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven; whoever eats this bread will live forever; and the bread that I will give is my flesh for the life of the world."
52 The Jews quarreled among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us (his) flesh to eat?"
53 Jesus said to them, "Amen, amen, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you do not have life within you.
54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him on the last day.
55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.
56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him.
57 Just as the living Father sent me and I have life because of the Father, so also the one who feeds on me will have life because of me.
58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Unlike your ancestors who ate and still died, whoever eats this bread will live forever."
59 These things he said while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.
60 Then many of his disciples who were listening said, "This saying is hard; who can accept it?"
61 Since Jesus knew that his disciples were murmuring about this, he said to them, "Does this shock you?
62 What if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before?
63 It is the spirit that gives life, while the flesh is of no avail. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life.
64 But there are some of you who do not believe." Jesus knew from the beginning the ones who would not believe and the one who would betray him.
65 And he said, "For this reason I have told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by my Father."
66 As a result of this, many (of) his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him.
67 Jesus then said to the Twelve, "Do you also want to leave?"
68 Simon Peter answered him, "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by Chongo 

That would be "sacrilegious' use of Frank's Hot Sauce and would be profaning the Eucharist. This is why the practice of taking communion in the hand will soon end.

Since we are all made in God's image, we should have no problem being worthy enough to touch the body and blood of Christ.

Frank's Hot Sauce, as you noted, is not as lucky as we are. Perhaps if it were made from Holy Water, it would be worthy. While possibly avoiding sacrilege during communion, you would still be in trouble from making Hot Sauce out of Holy Water in the first place....

[Laminar]

Originally Posted by imitchellg5 

You're a complete mentalist.

Nice vocabulary.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Chongo 

John 6:51-68 has that covered

How is it covered? This is Jesus just trying to convince these dudes that it is okay to eat him, offering assurances basically along the lines of "no, it's cool, go ahead and eat me..."

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I guess you should probably add something about being okay with the concept of cannibalism too?

I know a former nun who called communion wafers Jesus Pieces. (This is not why she left the nunnery....)

[Chongo]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Since we are all made in God's image, we should have no problem being worthy enough to touch the body and blood of Christ.

Frank's Hot Sauce, as you noted, is not as lucky as we are. Perhaps if it were made from Holy Water, it would be worthy. While possibly avoiding sacrilege during communion, you would still be in trouble from making Hot Sauce out of Holy Water in the first place....

No. It's to prevent morons from removing from the Eucharist from the church and making YouTube videos.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Chongo 

No. It's to prevent morons from removing from the Eucharist the church and making YouTube videos.

Wait, there is a church inside the Eucharist? Jesus told people to eat him, and in doing so eat churches?

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

I know a former nun who called communion wafers Jesus Pieces. (This is not why she left the nunnery....)

I like the word "nunnery".

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

How is it covered? This is Jesus just trying to convince these dudes that it is okay to eat him, offering assurances basically along the lines of "no, it's cool, go ahead and eat me..."

Exactly. This is a bit of the Bible that Catholics read one way, and Protestants read another. Who's right? Wars have been fought over this in the past. In spite of your obvious superior intellect, I don't think you're going to figure it out here.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Since we are all made in God's image, we should have no problem being worthy enough to touch the body and blood of Christ.

Frank's Hot Sauce, as you noted, is not as lucky as we are. Perhaps if it were made from Holy Water, it would be worthy. While possibly avoiding sacrilege during communion, you would still be in trouble from making Hot Sauce out of Holy Water in the first place....

But Jesus made everything, or at least his pop did, so by the transitive property that would mean that Jesus made everything, and that would include Frank's Hot Sauce, which would mean that it is holy.

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I like the word "nunnery".

It's like "shrubbery", only with more nuns.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

It's like "shrubbery", only with more nuns.

I mostly like nuns that are sluts, like those five probably are.

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

But Jesus made everything, or at least his pop did, so by the transitive property that would mean that Jesus made everything, and that would include Frank's Hot Sauce, which would mean that it is holy.

There is an interesting discussion about the Trinity here, but I just can't bring myself to elevate the thread above its current depths. However, just because God made everything doesn't mean that everything is Holy. After all, the Yankees exist....

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

I mostly like nuns that are sluts, like those five probably are.

Probably not, actually.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

Probably not, actually.

Well, they each have their dresses hiked up...



...Wait, never mind.

[ebuddy]

Originally Posted by Dork. 

There is an interesting discussion about the Trinity here, but I just can't bring myself to elevate the thread above its current depths. However, just because God made everything doesn't mean that everything is Holy. After all, the Yankees exist....

[osiris]

The communion hosts come in a variety of sizes. I've eaten enough during the early years - they're great with cheap sweet wine whilst playing blackjack in the pews.

Communion Hosts

[besson3c]

They're also good with Frank's Hot Sauce.

[Dork.]

What isn't?

This post brought to you by Frank's® RedHot® Hot Sauce!

[besson3c]

maybe those nun's butts...