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-   -   Against All Odds (http://forums.macnn.com/89/macnn-lounge/228550/against-all-odds/)

 
wolfen Sep 16, 2004 10:57 PM
Against All Odds
Anyone here see "Lorenzo's Oil?" That is some kinda movie. I love that true story stuff.

So here's the real thread topic: When have you had to demonstrate extraordinary faith in your love for someone against the odds? I have witnessed this phenomena a few times in life and find it an incredibly definitive experience. You know exactly who you are by what you do in those situations.

So how about it? Maybe it looked hopeless. Maybe it seemed like you should just stop pouring your energy into this person/relationship/cause and something inside insisted you hold on despite the way it seemed. What did you do? How did it turn out?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
 
StevesPancreas Sep 16, 2004 11:13 PM
Re: Against All Odds
Quote
Originally posted by wolfen:

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
do you cam?
 
The Oracle Sep 16, 2004 11:15 PM
Re: Re: Against All Odds
Quote
Originally posted by StevesPancreas:
do you cam?
whoa! they really come out of the woodwork after dusk. must be a full moon.
 
StevesPancreas Sep 16, 2004 11:16 PM
Re: Re: Re: Against All Odds
Quote
Originally posted by The Oracle:
whoa! they really come out of the woodwork after dusk. must be a full moon.
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
TheBadgerHunter Sep 16, 2004 11:21 PM
No. Never.
 
Lancer409 Sep 16, 2004 11:44 PM
:D :D :D
 
Shaddim Sep 17, 2004 12:39 AM
Many years ago, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease, I was working and attending school full time. And, yes, I was married. The cancer was bad, the tumor was about the size of a softball and the doctors were afraid that it had spread to other organs. For some reason, I never was "scared", more disappointed. On the other hand, my wife was terrified, she'd lost her mother to breast cancer and felt certain she was going to lose me too. That fear, compounded with a wicked streak of self-preservation that I wasn't aware she possessed, she left me for an old lover 3 months after I was diagnosed. Didn't even have the nerve to tell me, I simply came home one day and all of her things were gone, no note, no way to reach her, nothing. I had already started my chemo and radiation therapy, and was definitely looking "rough", I'd lost 30lbs and some hair... I suppose it was too much for her.

At that point I decided to die. I'd just sit in the dark for hours, then days. Finally my best friend came over, walked up to me, and slapped me, literally. Told me, "die if you want to, but by God I'll remember you as you really are, not this shell you've become!", then she spit at me. This, my closest friend in the whole world, bless her. :)

Damn, I got mad... I mean really pissed, never felt so much rage before. Then I felt something break inside me, all the despair drained out of me. I then decided that what I'd become wasn't me. I started going back to my treatments, and even back to school. I'd come back home at the end of the day and double over and scream until I was hoarse. But I'd make myself do it every day, even went back to work, pushing myself until I'd shake violently and almost go into convulsions. My doctor kept telling me that I was pushing myself too hard, that I'd kill myself, and I'd just laugh. Then gradually, a bit at a time, I felt better. The tumor shrank to nothing in just a month, my doctors were shocked. Though, I really wasn't, I'd felt it getting smaller, visualized it getting smaller.

Finally, not long after, maybe just a month later, I was back to normal. And guess who came back around? I remember it perfectly. She got out of her car and walked up to the porch, where I was reading, and she asked, "how are you feeling?" I just looked at her and said, "there's nothing here for you anymore". I was cold, she started to cry and make excuses about how she'd been scared, how she'd made a mistake, and I replied, "yes, you did. Go away." She stared at me, like I'd hit her. Then she turned around, got in her car and left. I some ways, that was harder than anything else I'd gone through. Though, I'd seen who she really was, and that just wasn't good enough. Not long after, we were divorced and I've not seen her since. Last I'd heard, she was married again, and I hope she's able to be happy and has everything life can offer her. I love her, I just couldn't be with her.

Sometimes, your greatest show of mercy has to be directed at yourself.
 
MilkmanDan Sep 17, 2004 01:42 AM
Re: Against All Odds
Quote
Originally posted by wolfen:
Anyone here see "Lorenzo's Oil?" That is some kinda movie. I love that true story stuff.

So here's the real thread topic: When have you had to demonstrate extraordinary faith in your love for someone against the odds? I have witnessed this phenomena a few times in life and find it an incredibly definitive experience. You know exactly who you are by what you do in those situations.

So how about it? Maybe it looked hopeless. Maybe it seemed like you should just stop pouring your energy into this person/relationship/cause and something inside insisted you hold on despite the way it seemed. What did you do? How did it turn out?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
Actually that movie is complete bunk, and the so called 'cure' doesn't actually cure children with the genetic disorder. I once had a professor rant about it for a while.
 
wolfen Sep 17, 2004 07:40 AM
Re: Re: Against All Odds
Quote
Originally posted by MilkmanDan:
Actually that movie is complete bunk, and the so called 'cure' doesn't actually cure children with the genetic disorder. I once had a professor rant about it for a while.
The movie doesn't claim it cures it -- only that it slows or stops symptoms and that kids can live normal lives. If you watch the end of the movie there's a whole bunch of video tape from afflicted kids who seem to have no problems whatsoever.

Perhaps it would be good for you to recognize that PhD's don't create reality, they just try to interpret it differently than other people so that they can get credit for the analysis. Academia is a different world, and ego rules all.
 
StevesPancreas Sep 17, 2004 07:44 AM
Re: Re: Against All Odds
Quote
Originally posted by MilkmanDan:
.. and the so called 'cure' doesn't actually cure children with the genetic disorder. I once had a professor rant about it for a while.
oh really!! You trust only authority it seems..

:rolleyes:
 
Apple Pro Underwear Sep 17, 2004 08:51 AM
Quote
Originally posted by MacNStein:
Story
that was a great story man

****. i thought i had troubles, but whatever immature ******** relationship issues i had is nothing compared to what you went through. i have newfound respect for you man.
 
Millennium Sep 17, 2004 09:37 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Apple Pro Underwear:
that was a great story man

****. i thought i had troubles, but whatever immature ******** relationship issues i had is nothing compared to what you went through. i have newfound respect for you man.
Count me in on that. I've had my own relationship troubles in the past, but yours really takes the cake. I'm not sure I could have done what you did.
 
xi_hyperon Sep 17, 2004 09:48 AM
MacNstein, I'm glad you hung in there, and also glad you had a real friend at your side when things looked irreversibly bleak to you. Everyone needs a friend like that.
 
RAILhead Sep 17, 2004 09:54 AM
I had a pretty defining moment in my relationship with my Dad when he underwent prostate cancer surgery/treatment. It was quite the paradigm shift, when the one who is usually "taken care of" suddenly becomes the one taking care.

The strongest man in the world, and there he was, laid-up in a hospital bed for so long. He had to be bathed by the nurses, I had to help him brush his teeth, shave, eat, make sure his various hospital hardware was properly draining, etc. When he began to get his strength back, I had to help him re-learn how to walk almost. His medicine would make him so out of it, sometimes (often) he would forget about something we just talked about, like he had Alzheimer's -- it was quite disconcerting.

When he got back home, I had to assume the roles he always prided himself in doing: the pool, my sister's pool, mowing the yard and all the other yard work. he was the errand-runner, always going to the store for my Mom, and he just couldn't do it. He hated it, and he felt useless. Not to be cliché, but he really was like a caged bird.

Over time, however, things got better and he's 99% back to normal now.

As for the defining moment, when I think of that time, as I spent each night sleeping in the hospital chair next to his bed, I always remember him waking me up, brokenly calling out my name. When looked over at him, he was shaking like he was seizing and I thought "son of a b*tch, he's going to die."

Then it hit home again: Dad could die at any moment. I felt his head and there didn't seem to be any fever, so I just pulled his covers up around him -- and that's all it was: he had just gotten too chilled and hadn't wanted to wake me up to get him his covers. I chided him for doing that and told him he always told me growing up: if you start feeling bad, wake me up -- don't worry about me being asleep, I can sleep later.

Since then, we religiously go to breakfast every Saturday morning and usually play golf afterwards. Often times we don't really even speak, because in reality, pretty much everything's been said, you know? But any way you slice it, he saw a side of me he hadn't seen much of before -- because he never needed to -- and I saw a side of him I never wanted to have to face. This has made us closer, and our Father/Son bond all the greater.

Maury
 
TheBadgerHunter Sep 17, 2004 10:40 AM
MacNStein, very touching story :thumbsup:
 
Shaddim Sep 17, 2004 02:06 PM
Quote
Originally posted by RAILhead:
Story
Very cool RAILhead.

I know how he felt, only my symptoms weren't so bad. Just blinding pain, nausea, and weakness. The whole time my mind was very sharp, at least that was one blessing. Honestly, I can say I'll never look at life the same way again. Every day looks better.

It's amazing how those times define who we are. People are capable of such incredible strength, and amazing weakness. Your dad was very fortunate to have a loving son with him through all of that.
 
Shaddim Sep 17, 2004 02:35 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Millennium:
Count me in on that. I've had my own relationship troubles in the past, but yours really takes the cake. I'm not sure I could have done what you did.
Well, I almost didn't. ;) It took a very tough lady to wake me up. Talk is cheap, and sometimes the "velvet glove" isn't the right approach to take. If she had came over and coddled me, told me "it's ok" or "things will be alright", I'd be pushing up daisies right now. At that time, all I wanted was to roll up and make it all stop.

People often call me a hard-ass, and say I lack compassion because of some things I say. But, the way I look at it, we show the most compassion by what we do. Life is hard and can be quite brutal, and all too often our fight is gone before we even start to figure out how things work. The most important thing to remember is, if we simply exist, we're dead already. It's very simplistic, but, if you don't like the way a thing is, you change it. If you succeed and live, then that's great. If you don't and die, then it doesn't matter anyway. ;)
 
GoGoReggieXPowars Sep 17, 2004 02:53 PM
I thought this was about that Jeff Bridges/James Woods movie.

Turned out to be much better. :)
 
Gankdawg Sep 18, 2004 08:06 PM
Some great stories being posted here. Very touching. :thumbsup:
 
wolfen Sep 18, 2004 11:01 PM
Well, my situation is simple. I care about a particular friend very much, but they have an addiction. I've been trying to help them deal with this for about 5 years now and I don't know how much longer I can invest myself in it. For anyone who has faced this before, you know just how draining it can be. At some point you have to walk away. Even when things look good they can turn the wrong way for another few months and send you spinning agin.

I would have walked away from them years ago if it wasn't for my experience with my little sister. My sister had tried virtually every drug on the planet. She'd been completely neglected by the parents, raped twice, etc. etc. Got involved with heroine and had a very hard time getting out. But she's a tough girl. Decided one day she'd had enough of the whole thing, got counseling and methadone, and turned herself around. A real winner, my sister, and I cherish her. She is now a retail manager and doing quite well for herself. 4 kids and a happy life. I couldn't be more proud.

So there's that -- and then there's the original person in my story. It's easy to walk away, but it's much more rewarding to be part of someone's victory. I don't want to walk away from someone I really care about who needs support, but I don't want to be taken for granted, either. You can imagine.

Anyway, I was just wanting to see what tales of love and triumph (or disaster) others had. Because these are the moments that define us. In MacNStein's case, his woman's actions defined her. I don't want to be the one who abandons a person in need, but I don't wanna do this anymore, either. I'm pretty sure the people who know about this situation think I shouldn't trust/invest myself in this person anymore.

[I'm not looking for guidance, so please don't post any. I'm sincerely interested in hearing other people's stories of faith, hope, and triumph (or disaster).]
 
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