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-   -   Sex with inanimate objects (http://forums.macnn.com/89/macnn-lounge/342927/sex-with-inanimate-objects/)

 
besson3c Jul 23, 2007 05:52 PM
Sex with inanimate objects
One thing I don't understand is why some people have sex with inanimate objects...

Has anyone here done this? What was it like? Would you recommend doing this? What is your object of choice?
 
Dakarʒ Jul 23, 2007 05:54 PM
I could get myself into trouble with a topic like this. I think I'll pass, thanks.
 
besson3c Jul 23, 2007 05:57 PM
Dakar: pictures of your brother's wife then, I take it?
 
Dakarʒ Jul 23, 2007 06:00 PM
Jokes, dumbass, jokes.
 
Jawbone54 Jul 23, 2007 06:00 PM
You took it? And did what?
 
besson3c Jul 23, 2007 06:01 PM
You were having sex with a joke book?
 
Kevin Jul 23, 2007 06:04 PM
I'd suggest using toys if you cant get her to be animated.
 
Rumor Jul 23, 2007 06:05 PM
Edit: Kevin beat me to it.
 
FireWire Jul 23, 2007 06:06 PM
I don't know if I have weird friends, but I (unfortunately) recall hearing many stories involving inanimate objects... Back in 2000, one of my friend told (publicly) that he had sex with a bed, by thrusting between the base box-spring and the mattress, while using a grocery plastic bag for "protection"... Ouch!

And I suspect that one former roommate of mine probably did it with every possible object in the apartment.. At one point I was even afraid of using my mouthwash by fear he used the circular opening for dubious purpose... :eek:
 
lpkmckenna Jul 23, 2007 06:08 PM
I find it pretty normal for a gal to own a vibrator, but rather weird when a guy owns a "pocket pnssy" or any other such device.
 
Dakarʒ Jul 23, 2007 06:11 PM
I think you can type pussy.
 
besson3c Jul 23, 2007 06:12 PM
I find it weird that Dakar has sex with joke books, but I won't judge him for this and I appreciate his honesty!
 
Dakarʒ Jul 23, 2007 06:14 PM
I have a new found appreciation for you besson. You're like the token ugly chick. All my jokes look funnier in comparison to yours.
 
Jawbone54 Jul 23, 2007 06:19 PM
This might get ugly...
Whoops...too late!
 
Rumor Jul 23, 2007 06:22 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by Dakarʒ (Post 3437864)
I have a new found appreciation for you besson. You're like the token ugly chick. All my jokes look funnier in comparison to yours.
Dakar Strikes Back, now at your local IMAX theater.
 
besson3c Jul 23, 2007 06:22 PM
Your face looks like a joke book that you have had sex with, Dakar3. I bet the 3 in your name represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3. So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math (like you probably aren't, because you probably like to have sex with math textbooks too).
 
Dakarʒ Jul 23, 2007 06:27 PM
I'll let that joke decompose by itself.
 
osiris Jul 23, 2007 06:29 PM
My gf was asleep one time, but I wasn't... yadda yadda yadda, we both slept great afterwards.

Of course this assumes that a sleeping woman can be considered an inanimate object.:eek:
 
Dakarʒ Jul 23, 2007 06:30 PM
Actually that was pretty much along the lines of what my baleeted comment was going to be.
 
Rumor Jul 23, 2007 06:30 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by besson3c (Post 3437878)
Your face looks like a joke book that you have had sex with, Dakar3. I bet the 3 in your name represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3. So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math (like you probably aren't, because you probably like to have sex with math textbooks too).
http://i18.tinypic.com/4mjbapy.jpg
 
utw-Mephisto Jul 23, 2007 06:33 PM
*tilt*
 
wallinbl Jul 23, 2007 06:49 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by besson3c (Post 3437878)
So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math
Sheesh.
 
Kerrigan Jul 23, 2007 06:53 PM
I know someone who went to jail for allegedly having sex with his sleeping girlfriend. Did he do it? Who knows.
 
Faust Jul 23, 2007 06:56 PM
I don't understand why anyone would need to use toys for their sexual needs. I know I don't. It sounds kind of childish to use a vibrator. Dunno, I think it's terribly unsexy to use sex toys of any kind regardless of sex.
 
goMac Jul 23, 2007 07:02 PM
You know you need a girlfriend when...
 
wolfen Jul 23, 2007 07:05 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by besson3c (Post 3437824)
One thing I don't understand is why some people have sex with inanimate objects...

Has anyone here done this? What was it like? Would you recommend doing this? What is your object of choice?
You could just ask us which Love Doll you should buy, you know. You don't have to beat around the...well...you know what I mean.

Anyhow, I'm sure someone on the forum can recommend which one is best.
 
Rumor Jul 23, 2007 07:06 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by goMac (Post 3437917)
You know you need a girlfriend when...

you have 20+ post a day at the 'NN.
 
lavar78 Jul 23, 2007 07:34 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by Kevin (Post 3437852)
I'd suggest using toys if you can get her to be animated.
Like Stripperella? And since when is 3 cubed = 9?
 
besson3c Jul 23, 2007 08:36 PM
You know, I sense a definite attitude with you guys. It seems that you think that ol' besson3c is just a big fat joke and not to be taken seriously.

Well, the jig is up. You guys can go on with your little jokes at my expense, but everybody can see who is really the adult here. The laugh is on you, because besson3c is a winner. You guys are just a bunch of troglodytes who need to think about the feelings of others.

Some of you have a lot of growing up to do.
 
design219 Jul 23, 2007 08:45 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by osiris (Post 3437885)
My gf was asleep one time, but I wasn't... yadda yadda yadda, we both slept great afterwards.

Of course this assumes that a sleeping woman can be considered an inanimate object.:eek:
Dude, a girl doesn't sleep through sex. She might have been passed out. If sex doesn't wake her up, you're doing something wrong. ;)
 
wallinbl Jul 23, 2007 08:48 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by design219 (Post 3438004)
Dude, a girl doesn't sleep through sex. She might have been passed out. If sex doesn't wake her up, you're doing something wrong. ;)
I can do it while I'm sleeping (my wife says I'm better at it when I'm asleep).
 
design219 Jul 23, 2007 09:09 PM
Quote, Originally Posted by wallinbl (Post 3438008)
I can do it while I'm sleeping (my wife says I'm better at it when I'm asleep).
You should ask her to wake you up. I think you might enjoy it more! :D
 
Sherman Homan Jul 23, 2007 09:19 PM
Is it time to zombie the Searchlight thread?
 
abe Jul 23, 2007 09:27 PM
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loki74 Jul 24, 2007 12:38 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by besson3c (Post 3437878)
Your face looks like a joke book that you have had sex with, Dakar3. I bet the 3 in your name represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3. So, 9 joke books in case you aren't any good at math (like you probably aren't, because you probably like to have sex with math textbooks too).
Clearly, you aren't very good at math either.

Lets say n is the number of joke books he has had sex with.

You said "3...represents the number of joke books you've had sex with, to the power of 3."
So, 3 = n^3.

Thus, n cannot equal 9, becase 3 ≠ 9^3. Instead, n should = 3^(1/3) ≈ 1.44225

Furthermore, he said "jokes." That means we might be able to say that he has had sex with a joke, but not a joke book per se...
 
Jawbone54 Jul 24, 2007 01:38 AM
LINUX makes people bad at math.
PLEEEASE, OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE, OH PLEASE..........
 
Kevin Jul 24, 2007 06:39 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by Faust (Post 3437913)
I don't understand why anyone would need to use toys for their sexual needs. I know I don't. It sounds kind of childish to use a vibrator. Dunno, I think it's terribly unsexy to use sex toys of any kind regardless of sex.
Oh I''ve done it, and it can be fun. You have to be secure with your sexuality however.. this wont work with guys that already have a insecure "manhood" as they will feel it's a replacement, or that they aren't adequate.

I wouldn't make it a NECESSARY thing however. That makes sex in public kinda hard with all that noise.
 
NobleMatt Jul 24, 2007 08:53 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by Kerrigan (Post 3437909)
I know someone who went to jail for allegedly having sex with his sleeping girlfriend. Did he do it? Who knows.
hang on.... who was the whitness? unless she woke up, what a bad thing to wake up 2 :S

btw Kerrigan are u a rower by chance?
 
Dakarʒ Jul 24, 2007 08:57 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by crazyreaper (Post 3438265)
btw Kerrigan are u a rower by chance?
Is that what they're calling it nowadays...
 
besson3c Jul 24, 2007 09:31 AM
Loki: this isn't the math thread. It was just wide speculation as to how many joke books Dakar3 has had sex with, but all we know is that he did admit to having sex with at least one joke book. However you add or subtract, or whatever ^ is supposed to do, it always works out mathematically that Dakar3 is a joke book humper, and we're noticing here by his silence and lack of denial that this is true.

I feel like a detective who has just solved one of the world's great mysteries... Just like Nancy Drew, except a male version. I also did all of this detective work without my detective hat or pipe, which is damn impressive.

I'm for hire, if anybody else has a detective gig for me.
 
osiris Jul 24, 2007 09:38 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by design219 (Post 3438004)
Dude, a girl doesn't sleep through sex. She might have been passed out. If sex doesn't wake her up, you're doing something wrong. ;)
Dude, re-read my post. She was asleep. past tense. ;)
 
analogika Jul 24, 2007 09:40 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by besson3c (Post 3438283)
Loki: this isn't the math thread. It was just wide speculation as to how many joke books Dakar3 has had sex with, but all we know is that he did admit to having sex with at least one joke book. However you add or subtract, or whatever ^ is supposed to do, it always works out mathematically that Dakar3 is a joke book humper, and we're noticing here by his silence and lack of denial that this is true.
For all the truth in that, it's still an embarrassment that you thought 3^3 is 9. :)
 
d4nth3m4n Jul 24, 2007 10:30 AM
whose wife is on my hard drive with a sex toy? one of you fools....
 
analogika Jul 24, 2007 10:49 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n (Post 3438326)
whose wife is on my hard drive with a sex toy? one of you fools....
That was jc "Europe-had-their-time-it's-America's-turn-now-so-I-suggest-you-bend-over-and-take-it" adam's wife Debbie.
 
analogika Jul 24, 2007 10:49 AM
...
 
besson3c Jul 24, 2007 11:04 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by analogika (Post 3438287)
For all the truth in that, it's still an embarrassment that you thought 3^3 is 9. :)
I know it's 27, I was just testing Dakar to see if he was paying attention.
 
Cipher13 Jul 24, 2007 11:04 AM
I once dated a Thai chick that could've counted as an inanimate object, when it counted.

Shame, she was hot.
 
besson3c Jul 24, 2007 11:10 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by analogika (Post 3438287)
For all the truth in that, it's still an embarrassment that you thought 3^3 is 9. :)
I know it's 27, I was just testing Dakar to see if he was paying attention.
 
besson3c Jul 24, 2007 11:12 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by Cipher13 (Post 3438345)
I once dated a Thai chick that could've counted as an inanimate object, when it counted.

Shame, she was hot.

Did she like to count? How high?
 
analogika Jul 24, 2007 11:28 AM
Quote, Originally Posted by besson3c (Post 3438350)
I know it's 27, I was just testing Dakar to see if he was paying attention.
Don't bother trying to pull a Zimphire here.

It's okay.
 
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