[pdot]

Gentlemen: How many ways have any of you guys been able to impress a woman?

Ladies: How many ways can a guy impress you?

[rhino_g3]

[Mulattabianca]

Hahaha...

I'm curious to follow this topic.

[macvillage.net]

I showed her my unit....


she was so impressed by it's giant size, she couldn't say no.

[Mark Tungston]

i knew this girl like a artist named rufus wainwright; a guitar player/singer. so i bought his cd and listened to it for her...but it was a load of crap so i lost interest in her and never even brought it up.

i dont know about you guys but the most sucessful "tactic" i've used is to act like i'm not interested. for whatever reason it seems to work well.

[I Bent My Wookiee]

You are asking a computer forum full of nerds about women? Most of the kids here have never even kissed a woman (and no kissing your computer screen doesn't count)

As far as the guys here know, 1.5 Gigs of RAM is a real turn on.

[philzilla]

Originally posted by I Bent My Wookiee:
As far as the guys here know, 1.5 Gigs of RAM is a real turn on.

dude, you forgot uptime too. chicks dig a huge uptime

[L'enfanTerrible]

I tap my finger on my chest and say, "you know they used me as a stunt c�ck for boogie nights?"

[Zimphire]

Treat her with respect.

Originally posted by philzilla:
dude, you forgot uptime too. chicks dig a huge uptime

http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/apparel/28d3.shtml

[I Bent My Wookiee]

Originally posted by philzilla:
dude, you forgot uptime too. chicks dig a huge uptime

Oh ya, you are right. Most women notice a guys uptime before they notice their eyes.

[ort888]

Stuff an entire t-shirt down the front of your pants.

[macvillage.net]

Originally posted by philzilla:
dude, you forgot uptime too. chicks dig a huge uptime

Think chicks buy the MHz Myth?

Faster isn't better. It's how it performs!

[Mulattabianca]

... a TiBook turns me on..
haha. only mhz and G??
c'mon...
<tip>learn to use also linux guys...</tip>

[sek929]

Originally posted by I Bent My Wookiee:
You are asking a computer forum full of nerds about women? Most of the kids here have never even kissed a woman (and no kissing your computer screen doesn't count)

As far as the guys here know, 1.5 Gigs of RAM is a real turn on.

Damn and here I sit with only 1024 MB

Best way to impress a girl is with two Vykadins and a couple beers.... did I say that?

[pdot]

hmm, my thread on "Let's List What Women Want", http://forums.macnn.com/showthread.p...readid=127364, turned out better, strangely enough. Just looking for new perspectives, people. I'm not going to follow every single advice I read.

[cheerios]

Zim's got it right, actually. Other tips, girls like to talk, in general. I know you guys know how to do that. I see you do it with each other all the time. Girls talk much the same way, and appreciate a non-vacant stare and some happy nodding. Now, note, there's always the chicks looking for an anonymous screw, and none o this is applicable for that, so don't bother reading here if that's what you're lookin' for.

[scottiB]

Listen

[usedmac]

Originally posted by Mark Tungston:
i knew this girl like a artist named rufus wainwright; a guitar player/singer. so i bought his cd and listened to it for her...but it was a load of crap so i lost interest in her and never even brought it up.

HOLY ****!!! We're in the EXACT same boat. I bought the CD for the same reason and it REALLY SUCKS!!! As I was looking at the CD in the store I thought "anybody named Rufus that sings about cigarettes and chocolate milk has got to suck." But I bought it anyway.

[Mr. Blur]

Originally posted by usedmac:


HOLY ****!!! We're in the EXACT same boat. I bought the CD for the same reason and it REALLY SUCKS!!! As I was looking at the CD in the store I thought "anybody named Rufus that sings about cigarettes and chocolate milk has got to suck." But I bought it anyway.

i know this isn't the topic of the thread....but i suffered through a live set of rufus when he opened on tori amos' last tour...awful, just awful...i am very tolerant of music - i enjoy so many varied styles and artists...but this guy....brutal.

[Miniryu]

White guys: pull a black d!ck out of your pants. That will raise an eyebrow.

[TommyLeeRoth]

don't punch her.

[Monique]

Give her one rose and tell her she is as uniques as this flower.

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by Monique:
Give her one rose and tell her she is as uniques as this flower.

Hey that is better than saying "Here I am too cheap to buy you 11 more"

[Mulattabianca]

Can't you do anything better guys..?

[Face Ache]

When I worked in theatres there was this young surgeon who had the Pierce Brosnan thing going. Model hair. Chiseled jaw.

He drove a red Ferrari.

So this guy is swanning around theatres and all the nurses are gushing their knickers whenever he walks by. Who? Me jealous? One day we had a French patient that the airlock nurse couldn't understand so she asked if anyone on duty spoke French. Guess who could? Fluently.

If I was a woman I would have been impressed. Being a regular bloke I just wanted to smash his ****ing face in.

So there you go. There are perfect people out there, making us all look bad by comparison. Dweebs like us stand the best chance of impressing women by keeping our womenfolk away from those guys.

Seek women with low expectations.

[typoon]

Originally posted by Zimphire:
Treat her with respect.

I agree with you here Zim it's just that you see a lot of women with Jerks and people who disrespect them yet they seem to be drawn to these typse of people. Why is that? Makes ya wonder sometimes if that is what they like.

[micha schraven]

aw forget about sissy music, feromones and social status :

how about that ancient trick where you club her and drag her into your cave?

[saddam hussein]

Originally posted by pdot:
Gentlemen: How many ways have any of you guys been able to impress a woman?

Ladies: How many ways can a guy impress you?

Give her a tiBook.

[Zimphire]

Originally posted by typoon:


I agree with you here Zim it's just that you see a lot of women with Jerks and people who disrespect them yet they seem to be drawn to these typse of people. Why is that? Makes ya wonder sometimes if that is what they like.

Not sure, I have found out as women get older, they are less attracted to such men.

[ckohler]

When I'm around women I try to be casual and curtious. I smile and focus the attention on her. Most of all, I just act like myself (for better or worse... I'm one of those "shy" guys). =)

Anyway, I figure if she doesn't like me for who I really am and isn't interested in the same things then a relationship probably wouldn't work out anyway. I'd rather be myself and just make a new friend rather than go out of my way to impress her by being something I'm not.. ultimatly insulting her intelligence.

I guess I should say I've been single for years so take this with a grain of salt. To my credit I'm not activly seeking a relationship and most of my friends are married... so I'm not exactly opening myself up for lots of opportunites.

[typoon]

Originally posted by Zimphire:


Not sure, I have found out as women get older, they are less attracted to such men.

True,

[Tigerabbit]

Originally posted by macvillage.net:
I showed her my unit....

she was so impressed by it's giant size, she couldn't say no.

That's because she was laughing too hard at you. You forgot to remove the "Made in Singapore" tag.

[Krusty]

5. Refer to other women (especially past girlfriends/wives) as b*tches. Eg. "I met that crazy b*tch when I was almost as drunk as I am now" It shows that you've loved and lost.
4) Ask her if she'd get you some cigarettes when she excuses herself to go to the bathroom. BE VERY SPECIFIC about the brand .. women hate indecisiveness
3) Assure her that your "all for that feminist crap"
2) Check out any other hot women that walk by. It shows that you appreciate beauty and really like women in general.
1) Make sure she knows that your herpes is "pretty much in remission right now" if she inquires about your cold sores.

Those pointers should get you on your way ...

[Sealobo]

[Tigerabbit]

You want to impress me?

Lick your eyebrows.

I will be very fuching impressed.

[Krusty]

I knew a dude who could lick his eyebrows !!! Of course, he could also comb them over his bald spot

[Tigerabbit]

Originally posted by Krusty:
I knew a dude who could lick his eyebrows !!! Of course, he could also comb them over his bald spot

Ewww!

I don't mean long eyebrows, I mean a long tounge. Something that would give Gene Simmons feelings of inadequacy.

[Krusty]

you must be drunk not to have gotten my sarcasm, tigger. Hey !! Can I borrow the sarcasm tags you just removed from the "Ways to impress a Man" thread ?

[Qhris]

impress a woman????

It's simple. Listen to her and take notice of the clues she drops.

[Tigerabbit]

Originally posted by Krusty:
you must be drunk not to have gotten my sarcasm, tigger. Hey !! Can I borrow the sarcasm tags you just removed from the "Ways to impress a Man" thread ?

It was funnier that way.

Sure, here they are:

[*sarcasm*] and [/*sarcasm]

[Krusty]

[*sarcasm*]

Um ... yes, you're right. It WAS funnier that way.

[\*sarcasm*]

[keekeeree]

Originally posted by Tigerabbit:
You want to impress me?

Lick your eyebrows.

I will be very fuching impressed.

One trick I do that's raised a few females' eyebrows is to take the stem from a cherry, throw it in my mouth, and moments later, pull it out tied in a knot
Did a different take on that this past weekend with one of those little stirring straws at the bar. My girlfriend says, "See why I love him so much?!?"

[Tigerabbit]

Originally posted by keekeeree:
One trick I do that's raised a few females' eyebrows is to take the stem from a cherry, throw it in my mouth, and moments later, pull it out tied in a knot
Did a different take on that this past weekend with one of those little stirring straws at the bar. My girlfriend says, "See why I love him so much?!?"

Can you breathe thru your ears?

[keekeeree]

Originally posted by Tigerabbit:


Can you breathe thru your ears?

lol...nope Tigerabbit, haven't mastered that one yet (not to say I haven't been practicing )

[Krusty]

Originally posted by keekeeree:


One trick I do that's raised a few females' eyebrows is to take the stem from a cherry, throw it in my mouth, and moments later, pull it out tied in a knot
Did a different take on that this past weekend with one of those little stirring straws at the bar. My girlfriend says, "See why I love him so much?!?"

Fantastic, Keekeeree !!

Another one that plays to much applause and calls for encores:

You stand. Her butt/lower legs rest on your upper chest/ shoulders and your hands support her in the middle of her back just below her shoulder blades such that she is horizontal 6ft in mid-air (well, 5ft, since she's at shoulder height). When the BIG - O -TRAIN arrives at the station, she is completely out of touch with any sort of reality (nothing to grab on to, no solid ground beneath her at all). I did that to a girlfriend once ... her arms were flailing like she was drowning in a big O-cean.

DISCLAIMER: Do not try this if you are over 30, in particularly bad shape, and/or have a slightly larger girlfriend unless you want a hernia

[The Godfather]

Originally posted by keekeeree:


One trick I do that's raised a few females' eyebrows is to take the stem from a cherry, throw it in my mouth, and moments later, pull it out tied in a knot
Did a different take on that this past weekend with one of those little stirring straws at the bar. My girlfriend says, "See why I love him so much?!?"

Since that impresses them so much, I am going to cheat and hide a pre-knotted cherry stem under my tongue when she's not looking.

[keekeeree]

Originally posted by Krusty:
DISCLAIMER: Do not try this if you are over 30, in particularly bad shape, and/or have a slightly larger girlfriend unless you want a hernia

Yeah, I could see where crashing five feet onto her head might ruin the mood

Originally posted by The Godfather:
Since that impresses them so much, I am going to cheat and hide a pre-knotted cherry stem under my tongue when she's not looking.

Just make sure you don't choke as you swallow the un-knotted evidence

[pdot]

Originally posted by Qhris:
impress a woman????

It's simple. Listen to her and take notice of the clues she drops.

You're assuming most men can pick up the clues. It's a lot easier said than done, especially when you're interested in the person. It's always easier when you're not into the girl, but if you're not into the girl, then what use are the clues.