[The Internet]

I along with a partner are directing a feature film. It will be 2 hours and 45 minutes in time length, have no plot, and every actor/actress will have a mustache. I am looking for ideas to fill the film with; some themes already present include -

- Birds
- People screaming
- People eating cake
- Random explossions.

Please add your input and you might see your name in the credits.

[besson3c]

absolutely brilliant... You ought to make a killing!

Do you have your director chair and bullhorn yet?

[The Internet]

Originally Posted by besson3c

absolutely brilliant... You ought to make a killing!

Do you have your director chair and bullhorn yet?

Yes. The chair is forty foot tall and the bullhorn is the size of a small elephant with 4 old men holding it for me and my partner in direction who I'll call b from now on. I also forgot to mention that most of the characters will only have half a mustache.

[besson3c]

Speaking of elephants and bullhorns, are there any sex scenes?

[Paco500]

This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. People eating cake? It will never translate on film. Go with pie.

[The Internet]

Yes. But we are looking to make them very creative. With saturated colors on the screen and some scenes taken from the classic willy wonka and chocolate factory with gene wilder.

[JoshuaZ]

Pie fight. And maybe some mud wrestling.

[iLikebeer]

You need a pointless narration substory as well. kind of like the Colombo and Fred Savage nonsense in The Princess Bride, but instead maybe have 2 people in toilet stalls next to each other, 1 of whom is reading the actual story to the other one that maybe ate a bad oyster or something.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by Paco500

This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. People eating cake? It will never translate on film. Go with pie.

Don't you read anything?!?! He has birds in it!!! You can't have birds and pie together. That's like cats sleeping with penguins. Simply NOT a good idea if you know what I mean.

[The Internet]

Originally Posted by iLikebeer

You need a pointless narration substory as well. kind of like the Colombo and Fred Savage nonsense in The Princess Bride, but instead maybe have 2 people in toilet stalls next to each other, 1 of whom is reading the actual story to the other one that maybe ate a bad oyster or something.

[Ghoser777]

Don't mess with The Princess Bride!

[The Internet]

Just came out of a meeting with the executives. New scenes:

* Man screaming at child.
* Child turning into a cake.
* Six Women arguing over newspapers.
* A Hippopoptamus gets executed followed by fireworks.
* Children dancing for 30 minutes.
* Michael Jackson spilling a glass of water on Elmo's head.
* Teens screaming at man.

Keep the ideas coming guys.

[olePigeon]

It needs to be post-nuclear war. Then during that pointless dialog, you can have: "No one knows who started the war. No one cares."

It's brilliant!!!

Oh, and it has to star Kevin Costner, Keanu Reeves, Elija Wood, John Malcovich, and at least 2 Baldwins.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by olePigeon

It needs to be post-nuclear war. Then during that pointless dialog, you can have: "No one knows who started the war. No one cares."

It's brilliant!!!

Oh, and it has to star Kevin Costner, Keanu Reeves, Elija Wood, John Malcovich, and at least 2 Baldwins.

Those actors stink. I was thinking for along the lines of Tony Danza, Bob Saget, and Rick Moranis.

[pathogen]

You really need to have some scenes involving corn chips.

Here are some ideas:

- A girl receives a corn chip as sweet sixteen present from her parents.
- Napoleon invents the corn chip and then loses the recipe at Waterloo.
- 50 horse jockeys in race uniform compete in a foot race to find the 3 hidden bags of corn chips in a haunted mansion.

[SuvsareRetarded]

Have a scene where you brutally shave off someone's eyebrows.

[acadian]

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Have a scene where you brutally shave off someone's eyebrows.

...and then staple their sac to their thigh...

[The Internet]

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Have a scene where you brutally shave off someone's eyebrows.

I like this. You are very creative. Stop by our office some time young man. 43 Awesome Drive, Hollywood, Ca.

[MacPoker101]

how about a drunk detective getting waisted on the local bar scene? He is trying to get it all together, but has no chance…its chaotic.

[turtle777]

How about a film about The Internet saving besson3c's life.

Uhm, not, wait...

-t

[andi*pandi]

there needs to be some dinosaurs, don't forget!