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SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 03:50 PM

K, here's the deal. My school has a sister school in Florence, Italy.... and there's a trip worth 6 credits or so that happens over the summer, 4 weeks long. Thing is, my wife couldn't go, so I'd be flying solo for a whole month. I haven't done that in a long itme now... also, it's technically cheaper to get these 6 credits overseas than it is to pay to get them at my school, so that's the main reason I'm even considering doing it, since it makes sense financially. Just not sure if I'd want to be away from my wife that long. The trip does provide cell phones, and although I can't CALL america, I can recieve calls from the states. We'd be living in apartments, not hotels, and ... I dunno, it sounds pretty freaking awesome. Weekend trips to Rome, I could maybe even stop by Maranello and see the ferrari factory... who knows.

What would you do?

nonhuman · Nov 13, 2005, 03:55 PM

That does sounds pretty sweet. I'd definitely take a trip to Italy if it would actually save me money. And Florence is a pretty sweet city.

The wife thing is hard, but it's only four weeks. I say go for it.

Why is it that she wouldn't be able to go? Maybe should could go for one of the weeks in the middle or something, just to visit?

The Godfather · Nov 13, 2005, 03:57 PM

I'd totally do it. It will look fantastic in your resume.

production_coordinator · Nov 13, 2005, 03:57 PM

If she was cool with it and I wanted to go: YES
If she wasn't cool with it and I wanted to go: NO

It's only four weeks... my wife would probably be cool with it.

nonhuman · Nov 13, 2005, 03:57 PM

Wow, DP on a quick reply... That's a new one.

mindwaves · Nov 13, 2005, 04:10 PM

Go for it if she is ok with it. Sounds great. I definitely would be willing to do so.

effgee · Nov 13, 2005, 04:20 PM

Just to reiterate ... as long as your wife is willing to part with you for a month, by all means go!!!

Italians are some of the craziest bastards on the planet (in a strictly positive sense, of course) and Florence is the shiznit. On top of that - when will you have another opportunity to not only visit another country but actually get to know (*) the people living there?

Only remaining question - why haven't you signed up yet?

(* - you'll be attending classes there, right?)

Warung · Nov 13, 2005, 04:23 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

What would you do?

Go.

BTW, what's keeping your wife from hopping on a plane and accompanying you to Italy? And what's the whole thing about the cellphone? Don't you have one of your own? And they do have the internets in Italy, you know that, don't you?

/Milano is cool

gururafiki · Nov 13, 2005, 04:32 PM

I agree with everyone else, if she is cool, go. Sounds like an amazing opportunity.

OreoCookie · Nov 13, 2005, 04:36 PM

Four weeks is not too long. If she is ok with that, too, just go and enjoy. Maybe you can get her to come for the last week or so.

Also, there's always Skype, either she calls you via Skype on your cell or you call each other by Skype from an internet cafe.

ReggieX · Nov 13, 2005, 04:59 PM

Do it, do it, do it! When are you going to have another chance like this? Take it, man. You won't regret it. And get some calling cards for outgoing calls.

isao bered · Nov 13, 2005, 05:01 PM

desidero andare in italia questa estate. :-/

if your wife agrees, go. no telling if you'll easily have the opportunity again.

be well.

laeth

Mastrap · Nov 13, 2005, 05:02 PM

Go. Four weeks go by quickly.
Italy rocks, Florence especially. One of the most beautiful cities in Europe.

andi*pandi · Nov 13, 2005, 05:35 PM

I'd go in a new york minute.

Captain Obvious · Nov 13, 2005, 05:50 PM

What kind of a relationship cant survive a four week separation?
I know 19 year old kids who manage to stay together during a semester abroad. If a marriage can't make it through something as innocuous as this then you are doomed. Not that you weren't anyway.

Weyland-Yutani · Nov 13, 2005, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by effgee

Just to reiterate ... as long as your wife is willing to part with you for a month, by all means go!!!

Italians are some of the craziest bastards on the planet (in a strictly positive sense, of course) and Florence is the shiznit. On top of that - when will you have another opportunity to not only visit another country but actually get to know (*) the people living there?

Only remaining question - why haven't you signed up yet?

(* - you'll be attending classes there, right?)

Absoloutly agreed! Going to Italy is worth it and four weeks is a time just short enough to leave someone behind without being too long and at the same time just long enought to be worth to go. You can contact her every day through the internet.

My only concern would be that you'd be surrounded by other Americans while in Italy. I hope that is not the case and that you'll have a chance to learn the language and get to know the locals. By all means, if your wife is ok with this and you have the chance, GO!

You can bring her back something nice from Italy when you return. Girls love that kind of thing

cheers

W-Y

mojo2 · Nov 13, 2005, 06:02 PM

I'd like to provide the female perspective on all this.

"You even CONSIDERED going without me? Well, I guess that tells me how much you love me."

If she remarks or acts in ANY other manner than the one above, then YOU might ask yourself why she isn't hurt and can't bear the thought of your being away that long.

If you have been married longer than 5 - 7 years I'd say you both might enjoy the separation and this time apart could bring new interesting 'things' to the relationship. AND I'M NOT ASSUMING YOU OR SHE WOULD BE UNFAITHFUL!

But, if you've been married less than 5-7 years and she's not genuinely saddened by the thought of your being away, just make a note to yourself when you get back that you have to spend more time and effort at reviving your relationship.

I know a couple that is celebrating their 26th anniversary and they are just normal folks but you'd swear they were newlyweds by the way they talk to each other or interact (even when they wouldn't suspect anyone was watching them). It is NOT an act and they are inspiring.

Bottom line, this trip can be very educational (for the BOTH of you) in more ways than one!

I hope you can go and that everything works out well for you both.

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

What kind of a relationship cant survive a four week separation?
I know 19 year old kids who manage to stay together during a semester abroad. If a marriage can't make it through something as innocuous as this then you are doomed. Not that you weren't anyway.

How's your wife? Oh wait, no woman finds you tolerable enough to deal with on a daily basis.

ambush · Nov 13, 2005, 06:41 PM

Do It! Duh!

Dork. · Nov 13, 2005, 06:45 PM

Will you have broadband? Look into VoIP (Skype/Vonage/Etc.) for calls.

Otherwise, pre-paid long distance cards work well.

SuvsareRetarded · 07:03 PM

Well, hte thing that keeps me from going is two-fold:

1. I worked while she finished college. Now I'm in college, and she's working. I'm also working 2 part time jobs, but she's the bread winner. I'd feel weird about going overseas while she has to slave away at her job (which she likes,s he's a copy editor for 3 national magazines).... but I've been overseas before. I've been to Japan, Canada, Hawaii, etc... she really hasn't been that many places, and she is cool with me going, but I feel like... I've been out of the country before, a few times. She's never been out of the country. It'd feel like I was taking advantage of the opportunity

2. The longest I've ever been away from her was 9 days or so, and it felt like a long time.

mojo2 · Nov 13, 2005, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Well, hte thing that keeps me from going is two-fold:

1. I worked while she finished college. Now I'm in college, and she's working. I'm also working 2 part time jobs, but she's the bread winner. I'd feel weird about going overseas while she has to slave away at her job (which she likes,s he's a copy editor for 3 national magazines).... but I've been overseas before. I've been to Japan, Canada, Hawaii, etc... she really hasn't been that many places, and she is cool with me going, but I feel like... I've been out of the country before, a few times. She's never been out of hte country. It'd feel like I was taking advantage fo the opportunity

2. The longest I've ever been away from her was 9 days or so, and it felt like a long time.

It sounds like an interesting premise for a sitcom episode. You both have mixed emotions about the trip/separation. You both are concerned about how the other might feel. You are both conscious of the spoken yet also the unspoken signals you might send and the way the other might take them. You assume she feels one way (but you are in error) and act on that assumption. She actually feels the opposite way but when she sees you acting on the erroneous belief it prompts her to respond in the other way and so everyone has felt and taken both points of view and the resolution comes ONLY after the two of you have gone through the process (and not a moment before!) and are both exasperated and are able to come clean with how you really feel and you both know the other is being completely honest. You take a deep breath and sigh as you take her in your arms and you fall together onto the bed as you smile and laugh with relief and we fade to black, cue theme and roll credits.

Atomic Rooster · Nov 13, 2005, 07:03 PM

I'd leave you're wife for anywhere.

Just kidding.

Christ you think you were going off to war for a few years and may not return.

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by Atomic Rooster

I'd leave you're wife for anywhere.

Just kidding.

Christ you think you were going off to war for a few years and may not return.

It's more that she's currently working a full time job, and I'm in school. I'd feel weird leaving her to work a whole month while I kick it in Italy.

Kevin · Nov 13, 2005, 07:17 PM

How would you feel if it was the other way around? Your wife wanting to go to Italy without you for a month?

That's how I would decided.

effgee · Nov 13, 2005, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

It's more that she's currently working a full time job, and I'm in school. I'd feel weird leaving her to work a whole month while I kick it in Italy.

Well, here's the all-important question: Have you told her about this and what was her response (the honest one, not the polite one)?

brapper · Nov 13, 2005, 07:21 PM

I spent a couple weeks with a friend at an exchange school in Florence.
I had a great time and so did he. Of course, neitehr of us is married.

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 07:25 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

How would you feel if it was the other way around? Your wife wanting to go to Italy without you for a month?

That's how I would decided.

I know. Hence my hesitation. I wouldn't like it if she left me alone for a month....

nonhuman · Nov 13, 2005, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

It's more that she's currently working a full time job, and I'm in school. I'd feel weird leaving her to work a whole month while I kick it in Italy.

But you'll be saving money by going in the end, right?

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

But you'll be saving money by going in the end, right?

Maybe. Food is only included once per week. I'd have to cook my own meals, so it migth be around the same, financially. If I ate crackers and peanutbutter the whole time it'd definitely be cheaper.

nonhuman · Nov 13, 2005, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Maybe. Food is only included once per week. I'd have to cook my own meals, so it migth be around the same, financially. If I ate crackers and peanutbutter the whole time it'd definitely be cheaper.

Ah. :/

KeriVit · Nov 13, 2005, 07:39 PM

I say go. It sounds like you are the one who is insecure, not her. that is not an insult Rob, merely an observation, as I am known to be the "softy" in my relationship.

I really think you should go: it is a short time, and excellent opportunity, a learning experience and could work out financially.

You supported her before, don't forget that. She probably doesn't mind.

Just make sure that you trust her and you won't get paranoid, alright? There is nothing you can do from there.

Biggest Bonus: The "I missed you" sex... good times....

Mastrap · Nov 13, 2005, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Maybe. Food is only included once per week. I'd have to cook my own meals, so it migth be around the same, financially. If I ate crackers and peanutbutter the whole time it'd definitely be cheaper.

Rob, just go. Seriously. It's an excellent opportunity and you'll kick yourself later if you don't take advantage of it now. Florence is stunning. Italy is a beautiful country. The food, and wine, are out of this world. I used to date a girl who had an aunt living in Florence, so I am speaking from experience.

Maybe your wife could come and join you for the last week?

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by Mastrap

Maybe your wife could come and join you for the last week?

Yeah. I talked to her more about it... seems like she wouldn't want me to be gone that long, and she'd be bummed and stuff... and jealous...but if she got to go for a week, it'd be a different story. That said, saving up enough for her to go would probably take us a year, so maybe not this summer, but the next summer I'm going. And you can bet your ass I'll be stopping by Maranello and a few other choice cities.

Mastrap · Nov 13, 2005, 08:17 PM

Rob, check out flights on http://www.airtransat.com/

The cheapest way to cross the Atlantic. (That I know of). Now, they only fly to London, but check out http://www.ryanair.com for flights from London to Italy. Dirt cheap. It's more affordable than you might think.

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 08:20 PM

airtransat doesn't fly out of the states?!

Kevin · Nov 13, 2005, 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

Yeah. I talked to her more about it... seems like she wouldn't want me to be gone that long, and she'd be bummed and stuff... and jealous...but if she got to go for a week, it'd be a different story. That said, saving up enough for her to go would probably take us a year, so maybe not this summer, but the next summer I'm going. And you can bet your ass I'll be stopping by Maranello and a few other choice cities.

Sounds like she is a compromising person. Which is a good trait.

Captain Obvious · Nov 13, 2005, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Sounds like she is a compromising person. Which is a good trait.

Clearly she is. She compromised her dignity and her future when she married him.

Mastrap · Nov 13, 2005, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

airtransat doesn't fly out of the states?!

Oh farkit. Sorry about that, I forgot.

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 08:53 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Clearly she is. She compromised her dignity and her future when she married him.

Because you know both of us so well. Oh wait, you don't! And it doesn't matter! Because you're better than everyone! ****ing prick.

Do you think that ANYONE here likes you? You suck Captain Egotist. You suck and nobody likes you.

KeriVit · Nov 13, 2005, 08:54 PM

So does this mean you're not going...? (yet anyway)Well, that's no fun. Sounds like these two can't live w/o each other. Not a bad thing, I guess.

SuvsareRetarded · Nov 13, 2005, 08:56 PM

No, I still want to go. But I'd feel a lot better if she could come, at least on part of it. It'd be annoying to constantly be like 'Oh man I wish Kristin was here' when I saw something cool anyway. So maybe this summer if I can save enough, but more likely next summer.

KeriVit · Nov 13, 2005, 09:18 PM

Good idea. You're right, experiencing cool stuff is much better with someone you love.

Kevin · Nov 13, 2005, 09:54 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Clearly she is. She compromised her dignity and her future when she married him.

That was uncalled for.

KeriVit · Nov 13, 2005, 10:16 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

Clearly she is. She compromised her dignity and her future when she married him.

We SHE loves him and he loves her. Who cares what you think.

Captain Obvious · Nov 13, 2005, 10:21 PM

lol

11011001 · Nov 13, 2005, 10:37 PM

You can call her in the US from Skype for like $0.03/minute. That is from your computer, to her cell phone or home phone.

Kevin · Nov 13, 2005, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by 11011001

You can call her in the US from Skype for like $0.03/minute. That is from your computer, to her cell phone or home phone.

Wow, I forgot all about Skype..

You should really look into that Rob.

I used to talk to someone from Australia and Canada using that. It was neat.

effgee · Nov 13, 2005, 10:47 PM

Originally Posted by Captain Obvious

lol

nonhuman · Nov 13, 2005, 11:17 PM

Originally Posted by SuvsareRetarded

airtransat doesn't fly out of the states?!

Check out Aer Lingus. If you fly on the right dates you can get insanely cheap flights to Dublin. I think I once saw one for $50. Once you're there you've got EasyJet and RyanAir to get you to other places in Europe for pennies.