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how to get roommate out of room (rant) (Page 2)
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kick52
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:26 AM
 
Originally Posted by OwlBoy
this?

YouTube - Lighter + Deoderant = BOOM!!

Thats not safe…

-Owl
ok then, use the deodarent as a flame thrower, or keep burning his stuff.
     
Azzgunther
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:33 AM
 
The guy is probably depressed. I feel kind of bad for him as I read this thread full of people advocating harassing him. Have you considered being...kind to him? Maybe he's miserable and doesn't feel comfortable around people. Why don't you ask him to talk to the mental health department and then you'll both know if there is more to the situation than meets the eye.
"The best part about breaking up with someone is moving all your porn from C:\Program Files\Java\j2re1.4.2\lib\zi\Pacific to C:\Porn."
     
moonmonkey
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Oct 4, 2006, 09:47 AM
 
I think you should murder him.
this is a joke!
     
Dakar
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Oct 4, 2006, 09:49 AM
 
If you're bitter, start inviting friends over ALL the time. If anyone wants to meet for any reason, constantly volunteer your room for it.
     
Peter
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Oct 4, 2006, 10:16 AM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar
If you're bitter, start inviting friends over ALL the time. If anyone wants to meet for any reason, constantly volunteer your room for it.

that'd work
we don't have time to stop for gas
     
Ouhei
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Oct 4, 2006, 10:42 AM
 
Just invite people over all the time like Dakar said, make sure you have like multiple people and make noise.

BTW, this guy is a total bitch, he called his parents and whined about you and then they called you, thats so pathetic.
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kick52
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Oct 4, 2006, 11:57 AM
 
Originally Posted by Azzgunther
The guy is probably depressed. I feel kind of bad for him as I read this thread full of people advocating harassing him. Have you considered being...kind to him? Maybe he's miserable and doesn't feel comfortable around people. Why don't you ask him to talk to the mental health department and then you'll both know if there is more to the situation than meets the eye.
sounds like me.....


-anyway-

i think you should make a gay pass at him.
     
bstone
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Oct 4, 2006, 12:31 PM
 
I'll just say- if he spends hours and hours a day blogging he must have a pretty long blog. Post the link here?
Emergency Medicine & Urgent Care.
     
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Oct 4, 2006, 12:33 PM
 
Originally Posted by bstone
I'll just say- if he spends hours and hours a day blogging he must have a pretty long blog. Post the link here?
Seconded. Then we post responses telling him to go outside.


Wait, um, what does he have to blog about if he doesn't leave his room?
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Monique
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Oct 4, 2006, 01:18 PM
 
Masturbation thing is a great idea, and shoot your sperm in his direction.
     
bstone
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Oct 4, 2006, 01:20 PM
 
Originally Posted by Monique
Masturbation thing is a great idea, and shoot your sperm in his direction.
........



gross
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kick52
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Oct 4, 2006, 01:48 PM
 
Originally Posted by Monique
Masturbation thing is a great idea, and shoot your sperm in his direction.
great idea. THEN, make the pass at him.
     
Dakar
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Oct 4, 2006, 01:49 PM
 
Originally Posted by kick52
great idea. THEN, make the pass at him.
But not before taking an hour to pretend to count all your sperm lost in battle and honoring them with a small ceremony.
     
kmkkid
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Oct 4, 2006, 01:50 PM
 
Originally Posted by Azzgunther
The guy is probably depressed. I feel kind of bad for him as I read this thread full of people advocating harassing him. Have you considered being...kind to him? Maybe he's miserable and doesn't feel comfortable around people. Why don't you ask him to talk to the mental health department and then you'll both know if there is more to the situation than meets the eye.

Asking someone to seek mental help is being nice? ROTFL!
     
kmkkid
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Oct 4, 2006, 01:51 PM
 
Originally Posted by kick52
great idea. THEN, make the pass at him.
Or even better, make a pass at him WHILE unloading
     
kick52
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Oct 4, 2006, 02:04 PM
 
Originally Posted by kmkkid
Or even better, make a pass at him WHILE unloading
great idea....

oh, and make sure you overdo the orgasms. make it REALLY loud.
     
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Oct 4, 2006, 02:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by Monique
Masturbation thing is a great idea, and shoot your sperm in his direction.
and yell "CATCH!"
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Oct 4, 2006, 02:26 PM
 
Does this guy have classes?
     
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Oct 4, 2006, 02:29 PM
 
Alex, have any of our suggestions worked? If not, I'm sure we have more.
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lpkmckenna
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Oct 4, 2006, 03:54 PM
 
Originally Posted by Monique
Masturbation thing is a great idea, and shoot your sperm in his direction.
Leave it to the gals to recommend sexual assault.
     
Y3a
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Oct 4, 2006, 04:11 PM
 
OK, get a fat woman friend to come up n see you. You are both just friends. She thinks your roomie is 'cute' and starts making moves on him. He freaks and NEVER wants to be around if 'she' shows up.

make him SO uncomfortable that HE moves!
     
hart
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Oct 4, 2006, 04:23 PM
 
Originally Posted by Dakar
If you're bitter, start inviting friends over ALL the time. If anyone wants to meet for any reason, constantly volunteer your room for it.
seconding this one.
     
brassplayersrock²  (op)
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Oct 4, 2006, 04:27 PM
 
the having people over is a good one, i have just been going over to other peoples rooms. hmm, thanks you.

last "conversation" with him:
"hey, we needa have a little sit down"
"okay"
"well, just to let you know, i'm not going to apologize for something that i am in the right to do"
"what?! okay, i have work to do now!" *he puts on his headphones*
"excuse me, we really need to talk"

doesnae answer

"excuse me, but we do need to talk about this"
"can't you see im working? be considerate to me"
     
Dakar
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Oct 4, 2006, 04:58 PM
 
I don't know what year he is, but this kid ain't gonna last long in the face of pressure.
     
Azzgunther
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Oct 4, 2006, 05:15 PM
 
Originally Posted by kmkkid
Asking someone to seek mental help is being nice? ROTFL!
It's mean to tell the roomate that he is exhibiting symptoms of clinical depression, a treatable condition? Co-dependant much kmkkid?

I've come around to the dark side though. Do some shop work in your dorm room. Construct a chair from scratch. The sweet serenade of a circular saw, disc sander, and hammer on nail will help the roommate find his path out of the room.
"The best part about breaking up with someone is moving all your porn from C:\Program Files\Java\j2re1.4.2\lib\zi\Pacific to C:\Porn."
     
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Oct 4, 2006, 05:34 PM
 
I think you need a ninja to kick him in the head.
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finboy
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Oct 4, 2006, 06:10 PM
 
Originally Posted by lpkmckenna
Start masturbating in his presence. He'll leave. (If not, you'll now have two problems.)
     
MOTHERWELL
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Oct 4, 2006, 06:11 PM
 
Unfortunately this is what life is going to be like living in a dorm room. Most of us have done it, so most of us know what it's like. You happen to have a bad roommate. I had one too...I ended up punching his lights out, but he deserved it. The best thing you can do is to try to move into a single dorm room early -- but if you can't the semester ends in 2 months, right?

It's too bad the guy is being a child about this and calling his PARENTS and telling them you are a 'bitch.' Try telling the guy to act his own age and not call mommy when he gets into an argument.

The guy is a shut in and he has a BLOG? How can it have anything interesting if he sits inside all day?

You could try having lots of people in your room to make noise and get him to leave. Maybe he will meet a girl....that will definitely get him out of the house.
     
brassplayersrock²  (op)
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Oct 4, 2006, 06:28 PM
 
<deleted by Alex>
( Last edited by brassplayersrock²; Oct 5, 2006 at 04:06 PM. )
     
Peter
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Oct 4, 2006, 06:58 PM
 
I composed, performed, and recorded everything myself on my first 2 solo albums. I am a official endorser for Eden Electronics and Rotosound bass strings and have been featured on their website articles. I'm a student at Berklee College of Music and study electric bass privately with Matthew Garrison.
wow
we don't have time to stop for gas
     
Uncle Skeleton
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Oct 4, 2006, 07:27 PM
 
Originally Posted by brassplayersrock
the having people over is a good one, i have just been going over to other peoples rooms. hmm, thanks you.

last "conversation" with him:
"hey, we needa have a little sit down"
"okay"
"well, just to let you know, i'm not going to apologize for something that i am in the right to do"
"what?! okay, i have work to do now!" *he puts on his headphones*
"excuse me, we really need to talk"

doesnae answer

"excuse me, but we do need to talk about this"
"can't you see im working? be considerate to me"
That's not how you patch things up, that's how you pick a fight. You can't blame him for not wanting to participate in your fight.

You have to remember that as much of a "loser" as you may think he is, nobody's perfect and he probably sees as many defects in you as you see in him (justified or not). You have to have a sit down with yourself first, and make a list of exactly what you want out of this relationship. And I'll tell you right now, if "not apologizing" is one of the things on your list, you need a much shorter list, whether you're really sorry or you're just humoring him.

edit: I guess I can summarize by saying that you'll never accomplish anything in life (except by force I suppose) unless you treat the other person as an equal. Whether you actually consider him to be an equal is irrelevant.
     
- - e r i k - -
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Oct 4, 2006, 07:30 PM
 
I like his beats.

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kmkkid
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Oct 4, 2006, 07:34 PM
 
Originally Posted by Azzgunther
It's mean to tell the roomate that he is exhibiting symptoms of clinical depression, a treatable condition? Co-dependant much kmkkid?

I've come around to the dark side though. Do some shop work in your dorm room. Construct a chair from scratch. The sweet serenade of a circular saw, disc sander, and hammer on nail will help the roommate find his path out of the room.
LOL, I'm about the least co-dependant person you would ever meet. I'm saying that suggesting a 'stranger' seek medical attention for his mental health isn't exactly a good start to a working relationship. Maybe he just likes to be at home, so what?
     
brassplayersrock²  (op)
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:07 PM
 
uhh, i dont think of him as a loser, your putting words in my mouth skeleton. i've been very nice to him, and he decides to walk over me. it's very simple to go out of the room and practice. i even explained this to him, and he gave me attitude for no reason. *sigh* the reason why i won't apologize is because i didnt do anything wrong, all i did was ask him time and time again not to do something that your not even supposed to do in the room in the first place, and the last time he was blarring it very loudly and having the tv ontop of that blaring. i had enough and did what i did. am i sorry? no, why should i be? he was told many times not to, and he got what was coming to him. he has asked me not to do a couple of things, and do i? no. i ask him not to do a simple thing and he does anyways. no regard for authority.

and me wanting a fight? lol, im the last person wanting to fight, i got straight to the point with him. all cards on the table in a way

edit: by force? psh, i accomplish what i want by working just as hard or harder as the next person. what are you mad about uncle skeleton?
( Last edited by brassplayersrock²; Oct 4, 2006 at 08:13 PM. )
     
brassplayersrock²  (op)
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:08 PM
 
about his beats? he rips them off from other songs and he just "tweaks them"

his words, not mine
     
- - e r i k - -
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:09 PM
 

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- - e r i k - -
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:10 PM
 
Well, sampling is sampling. Nothing wrong with that

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Chuckit
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:24 PM
 
Whether or not you are going to apologize, explicitly stating so sounds somewhat hostile to me.
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itai195
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Oct 4, 2006, 08:30 PM
 
This situation sounds tailor made for talking to your RA, assuming he's not a jerk.
     
Uncle Skeleton
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Oct 4, 2006, 09:48 PM
 
Originally Posted by brassplayersrock
uhh, i dont think of him as a loser, your putting words in my mouth skeleton. i've been very nice to him, and he decides to walk over me. it's very simple to go out of the room and practice. i even explained this to him, and he gave me attitude for no reason. *sigh* the reason why i won't apologize is because i didnt do anything wrong, all i did was ask him time and time again not to do something that your not even supposed to do in the room in the first place, and the last time he was blarring it very loudly and having the tv ontop of that blaring. i had enough and did what i did. am i sorry? no, why should i be? he was told many times not to, and he got what was coming to him. he has asked me not to do a couple of things, and do i? no. i ask him not to do a simple thing and he does anyways. no regard for authority.

and me wanting a fight? lol, im the last person wanting to fight, i got straight to the point with him. all cards on the table in a way

edit: by force? psh, i accomplish what i want by working just as hard or harder as the next person. what are you mad about uncle skeleton?

Passive aggressive people often don't even know they're being passive aggressive. It could be that he thinks he's pursuing a totally reasonable path towards letting you know he's upset. Or it could be that you think you are, when in reality you're just escalating a totally avoidable conflict.

What is it you want to change? Do you want him to get out of the room for his own good? Do you want him to get out of the room for you to have Private Time™? Do you want him to stop making noise in the room? Do you want him to stop borrowing your DVDs?

Numbers 1 and 3 aren't really reasonable for you to ask of a roommate, unless it's really late at night. Number 4 is acceptable, but kind of makes you a dick if it's for no other reason than spite. Number 2 is touchy, but really how much Private Time do you need? More than an hour?

Seriously, roommate problems are usually of two types: (a) he's too dirty and the place stinks, or (b) he's damaging/stealing your property. You haven't really mentioned either of those, and what you have mentioned sounds a little like one-time occurrances that aren't really that bad. What's the real problem?
     
brassplayersrock²  (op)
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Oct 4, 2006, 10:34 PM
 
your really not getting the point are you skeleton? he's being seriously childish for no reason except for the fact that I was forced to put my foot down and he didnt like it. honostly skeleton, you really need to be here to get the full view on things. since your not, i think it's okay for you to voice your thoughts, but since your trying and make me the bad guy, here's a scoop.

1) i dont think of him as a loser
2) i know he's upset, he's obvously not use to following rules
3) i could care less if he borrows my dvds, i took the one he was watching away because it was blasting and he was playing in the room (again after i had asked him not to a handful of times)
4) this esculated because he made it so, i just ended the esculation, and now he's being a cry baby
5) roommates should respect eachother. as i said above i have not done the couple of things he asked me not to. he on the other hand have disregarded the one small thing that i have asked him not to do.
5.1) a guy needs his private time, i give him his because i actually go out of the room and do stuff, he should give me mine as well by going out and socializing
6) the two types of bad roommate examples you gave, good yes, but they do not come close to what is going on here. so please, just think of this.

what if some guy moved in with you and the room is just a big square with a bathroom/shower. he disregards a simple rule of the room that he said he would follow but never has, and he never leaves. what if you have a girl come over and you want to have fun with her, but you cant because he doesnt leave? what if you have a bad day and want to be alone? he's there, you ask him to leave nicely but he refuses and just puts on his headphones and starts blasting his music. how about when you buy a brand new dvd, one that you really want to watch, but have class and when you come back find that your roommate has taken it off your desk, unwrapped the dvd and put it on his computer to watch it without asking? hmm, what else has he done? what if you ask him to turn his music down because your doing homework that involves your computer in the room and he just turns it louder? oh, what if you put up a poster on your side of the room that you payed for and like, and he tears it down and crumbles it into the garbage and takes out the trash with it and puts up a poster he wants? what if you cant find your favorite watch and later find out he took it out of your drawer and wore it all day without asking you?

think about that k? after your done, please come back and voice how much of a jerk you think of me for finally letting him have it in a none physical or threatening way.

Alex
( Last edited by brassplayersrock²; Oct 4, 2006 at 10:59 PM. )
     
- - e r i k - -
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Oct 4, 2006, 10:42 PM
 
Is this your roommate?


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Uncle Skeleton
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Oct 5, 2006, 12:03 AM
 
Originally Posted by brassplayersrock
your really not getting the point are you skeleton? he's being seriously childish for no reason except for the fact that I was forced to put my foot down and he didnt like it. honostly skeleton, you really need to be here to get the full view on things. since your not, i think it's okay for you to voice your thoughts, but since your trying and make me the bad guy, here's a scoop.

1) i dont think of him as a loser
2) i know he's upset, he's obvously not use to following rules
3) i could care less if he borrows my dvds, i took the one he was watching away because it was blasting and he was playing in the room (again after i had asked him not to a handful of times)
4) this esculated because he made it so, i just ended the esculation, and now he's being a cry baby
5) roommates should respect eachother. as i said above i have not done the couple of things he asked me not to. he on the other hand have disregarded the one small thing that i have asked him not to do.
5.1) a guy needs his private time, i give him his because i actually go out of the room and do stuff, he should give me mine as well by going out and socializing
6) the two types of bad roommate examples you gave, good yes, but they do not come close to what is going on here. so please, just think of this.

what if some guy moved in with you and the room is just a big square with a bathroom/shower. he disregards a simple rule of the room that he said he would follow but never has, and he never leaves. what if you have a girl come over and you want to have fun with her, but you cant because he doesnt leave? what if you have a bad day and want to be alone? he's there, you ask him to leave nicely but he refuses and just puts on his headphones and starts blasting his music. how about when you buy a brand new dvd, one that you really want to watch, but have class and when you come back find that your roommate has taken it off your desk, unwrapped the dvd and put it on his computer to watch it without asking? hmm, what else has he done? what if you ask him to turn his music down because your doing homework that involves your computer in the room and he just turns it louder? oh, what if you put up a poster on your side of the room that you payed for and like, and he tears it down and crumbles it into the garbage and takes out the trash with it and puts up a poster he wants? what if you cant find your favorite watch and later find out he took it out of your drawer and wore it all day without asking you?

think about that k? after your done, please come back and voice how much of a jerk you think of me for finally letting him have it in a none physical or threatening way.

Alex

Yeah, you need to grow up a little. I'm not trying to be hard on you or anything, quite the opposite in fact. You'll be much happier if you just realize that there are much more important things to think about than your roommate giving you the silent treatment. If he wants to make life difficult for himself, that's his problem. Don't let him make it your problem too. I'll get you started:

1. Who cares.
2. Life is full of rules. Most of them don't matter. Why does this one matter?
3. Did this happen just one time? If so, again, who cares?
4. ditto
5. You don't have to let this bother you. We all know that you're a more emotionally healthy person than he is. You don't need his respect, as long has he isn't violent or anything. Just let it roll off your back.
5.1 You don't need that much Private Time. You can go to the library or the bathroom or the park or to Her House or 100 other places if you need to be away from him.
6. I meant that those are the two categories of problem that actually matter. Yours isn't one of the ones that matters, unless you let it be.

If he's taking your stuff without asking, that's bad. Get a lock box for the important stuff, and a security cable (and software) for your computer, and back up important files on a server. Then let him do whatever it is he does, and don't let it affect you. Or complain to the RAs and get moved. But what you're doing, complaining about him to other people who can't help and starting confrontations with him that don't begin and end with what exactly you want him to do, is not a healthy pattern for you to get into and it will only make things worse.
     
kick52
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Oct 5, 2006, 12:48 AM
 
People, lets just get to the important bit.



Did you masterbate in front of him?
     
MOTHERWELL
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Oct 5, 2006, 03:10 AM
 
Originally Posted by Uncle Skeleton
Yeah, you need to grow up a little. I'm not trying to be hard on you or anything, quite the opposite in fact. You'll be much happier if you just realize that there are much more important things to think about than your roommate giving you the silent treatment. If he wants to make life difficult for himself, that's his problem. Don't let him make it your problem too. I'll get you started:

1. Who cares.
2. Life is full of rules. Most of them don't matter. Why does this one matter?
3. Did this happen just one time? If so, again, who cares?
4. ditto
5. You don't have to let this bother you. We all know that you're a more emotionally healthy person than he is. You don't need his respect, as long has he isn't violent or anything. Just let it roll off your back.
5.1 You don't need that much Private Time. You can go to the library or the bathroom or the park or to Her House or 100 other places if you need to be away from him.
6. I meant that those are the two categories of problem that actually matter. Yours isn't one of the ones that matters, unless you let it be.

If he's taking your stuff without asking, that's bad. Get a lock box for the important stuff, and a security cable (and software) for your computer, and back up important files on a server. Then let him do whatever it is he does, and don't let it affect you. Or complain to the RAs and get moved. But what you're doing, complaining about him to other people who can't help and starting confrontations with him that don't begin and end with what exactly you want him to do, is not a healthy pattern for you to get into and it will only make things worse.
Needs to grow up a little? brass is acting like an adult. He tried to have a conversation with his roommate and the roommate put on headphones and didn't finish the conversation -- the equivalent of walking out of the room.......if only that would actually happen.

1. brass cares. He didn't call his roommate a loser, you did.
2. Life is full of rules for a reason. I doubt you really live your life beliving that "most of them don't matter"
3. If he is not supposed to be practicing his bass guitar in the room then he shouldn't do it. It's that simple. There are practice rooms for that kind of thing. It's about RESPECT.
4. again, brass cares. Just because the issue seems trivial to you doesn't me it is. You're not putting yourself in his shoes.
5. There is nothing private about a library. Hence the name Public Library. It can even be argued that there is no privacy outside of the home. If you have to leave your home/apt/dorm to find privacy, there is a problem. If you leave "to get away" then the reason you left will be with you wherever you go. When you are sharing a 1 room living space there HAS to be a mutual respect for things to work. In this case it means having time to yourself in your own room.
6. Why are there only TWO categories that matter? There are lots of issues that matter to different people for different reasons. Try empathizing with brass and see how you feel.



brass your best solution is to move out asap. I think the alternative solution is to have people over, even if its just to try to get your roommate to leave.

You need to have your privacy and he's not giving it to you.
     
brassplayersrock²  (op)
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Oct 5, 2006, 11:16 AM
 
thank you motherwell (and all others) for your kind words and support.
and to uncle skeleton, you can go to hell

Alex
     
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Oct 5, 2006, 12:13 PM
 
If you can't see that inviting other people over just for the purpose of irritating your roommate makes you just as bad as he is, you're going to find yourself dealing with problems like this your whole life, because you're contributing just as much as he is.

Maybe you just posted this so that people could butter you up and say "yeah, he's a real weirdo. **** with him all you want." But you're not entitled to change your roommate and you're not entitled to change my reaction to your story.
     
Uncle Skeleton
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Oct 5, 2006, 12:32 PM
 
Originally Posted by MOTHERWELL
2. Life is full of rules for a reason. I doubt you really live your life beliving that "most of them don't matter"
Goddam right I do. Do you ever jaywalk? Or speed? Or have oral sex? They're against the rules, you know.

Rules exist to serve us, not vice versa. And they're imperfect. If two roommates don't mind practicing in their room, I say do it, until you get a reprimand. Maybe this guy has a perfectly good reason to avoid the practice rooms, and maybe Brass has a perfectly good reason to want it not to happen in his room. But the only reason he's given us is "because it's not allowed, and I wanted to force my roommate to follow the rule." That's not a good reason, that's being a narc.


3. If he is not supposed to be practicing his bass guitar in the room then he shouldn't do it. It's that simple. There are practice rooms for that kind of thing. It's about RESPECT.
Respect runs both ways. If my roommate catches me stealing food from the dining hall, or downloading illegal mp3s, and he gives me a lecture because it's against the rules, I'd tune him out too. That's him disrespecting me. If he tells me it bothers him because the food is attracting pests, that's fine. That's a valid reason. Brass hasn't given a valid reason, all he's said is he's a rules enforcer.

4. again, brass cares. Just because the issue seems trivial to you doesn't me it is. You're not putting yourself in his shoes.
Oh please. His roommate is being a crybaby? that's important? I've had far worse roommate problems than that, and he will too. From just what he's said, this isn't worth getting upset over.

5. There is nothing private about a library. Hence the name Public Library. It can even be argued that there is no privacy outside of the home. If you have to leave your home/apt/dorm to find privacy, there is a problem. If you leave "to get away" then the reason you left will be with you wherever you go. When you are sharing a 1 room living space there HAS to be a mutual respect for things to work. In this case it means having time to yourself in your own room.
When you share a room, the library is just as private. The roommate can come home, just like some stranger can open your door at the library. The difference is, the stranger might knock.


6. Why are there only TWO categories that matter? There are lots of issues that matter to different people for different reasons.
That's why he should tell something that matters. Your roommate wearing headphones and not listening to your lecture is not one of them.

brass your best solution is to move out asap.
I agree. If that's too much trouble, try spreading a rumor that your roommate is a stud. Leave a tie on your doorknob, spend a lot of time in the common areas, and tell people the guy is getting busy. Maybe it will attract a girl to him and he'll have something else to do for a while.
     
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Oct 5, 2006, 12:44 PM
 
Meh, just poison him and get on with your life.
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
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Oct 5, 2006, 12:44 PM
 
Better yet, report him to the FBI as a cyber-terrorist.
I like my water with hops, malt, hops, yeast, and hops.
     
 
 
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