[chris_h]

I've had about the worst few days of my life, and i'm about to rant about it.
Feel free to ignore this thread, I just need to vent somewhere.

I'll preface by saying I'm a student at UTAustin, living on my own in an apartment.

The other day I was in a car wreck. I'm ok, but my car is totalled. I'm trying to get a rental from the insurance company, but they're dragging their feet about it.

On top of that, I'm completely out of money. My dad's been out of work for a long time (back injury), so I've been sending them as much money as I can every month. They have no savings left, and they haven't been able to make ends meet. Well, long story short, my mom called me about 2 weeks ago, and said they needed X ammount or they would loose the house. They hadn't been able to make payments on it in a while (too many other bills, etc), and the bank's about to take it. So, I sent her all that I had, but it still wasn't enough. My brother's computer that I bought him for his birthday (a cube, btw) they sold today to make the house payment. They're still way behind on the payments though, and that was only enough to hold the bank off for another month. SO, they're going to move in with my mom's parents, who live way up in north carolina. My brother is gonna stay at a friend's house for the forseeable future (He has band/football/etc this summer, plus school in the fall).

Well, through all of this, and having to pay my way through college, I've run up a pretty huge debt, and I'm completely out of cash. I don't get paid again until the end of the month, and it won't be enough for rent, not to mention all my other bills. So, It looks like I'm gonna be homeless at the end of this month. I don't really know anyone down here I could stay with.

I went today and pawned off pretty much everything I could part with (stereo, etc), so I'd have money for food. BUT, I have a speeding ticket that is already past due. I called the municipal court, and I have until monday to pay it before they put out a warrant for my arrest. The money i got from pawning my stuff will cover it, but just barely, so I'm back to square one.

I went to University Federal today (thanks cheerios to try and get an emergency loan, but they wouldn't, because i'm so far in debt and my checking account has a negative balance.

Because of some family crap from several years ago, I'm not welcome to stay at my mom's parents' house with them, so that option is out.

My last option is to sell my computer. The problem being I have to have it for my classes, being a CS student. If i sell my computer, I'll pretty much have to drop out. But i may have to anyway.

I really don't know what to do... I think i'm gonna have a nervous breakdown.

If you read this far, I'd appreciate any advice.

-
[email protected]

[cheerios]

Chris, take a deep breath. Exhale. Everything will be fine, eventually.
I wish I could do more, but that's the only advice I got left.

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...it's only life after all!
--Indigo Girls

[Scott_H]

This will sound cruel but you need to cut your parents off. I know I know they'll lose the homestead but that's not your loan to pay off. Plus it sounds like they've been spending money on stuff other than house payments. Considering you're paying for it, getting through school is your #1 financial responsibility right now. If you drop out you'll have to start paying loans back ASAP and you wont have the higher pay from the college degree.

They shouldn't be telling you to give them money. I know people my age (30) that have parents retire on them and expect the kids to fund the retirement. Plus one girl I know was raised by her aunt and her aunt takes a cut of every paycheck she gets. Effing insane!

I know I know your father's fallen on hard times. So did mine. Maybe he was lucky or smart but his long term care insurance helped out big time. Plus my step mother worker her freaking ass off. God bless them both.

Maybe when the car insurance settles you'll have some money left over after you pay the loan off. Do you need the car? Get rid of it! Plus see if the university has some kinda short term loan program that can help you out. Mine does. Also wtf are you doing buying your brother a cube? Shouldn't you be banking some money for school?

Get your money in order and worry about school. That's what I say.

HTH

[jagga]

dude, what year are u in college? If you are atleast 2nd or 3rd; try to find a job this summer. You are CS so u shouldn't have very hard time finding an entry level job. What I would say is focus on school and finish your degree. After that, things will turn out for the best. Plus why are you living in a single apartment? Those are so expensive; find a roomate to split the rent. I'm sure that would help out a lot.

man, your week makes my troubles look puny.
I hope everything turns out aite.

jagga

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[chris_h]

Originally posted by Scott_H:
This will sound cruel but you need to cut your parents off. I know I know they'll lose the homestead but that's not your loan to pay off. Plus it sounds like they've been spending money on stuff other than house payments. Considering you're paying for it, getting through school is your #1 financial responsibility right now. If you drop out you'll have to start paying loans back ASAP and you wont have the higher pay from the college degree.

They shouldn't be telling you to give them money. I know people my age (30) that have parents retire on them and expect the kids to fund the retirement. Plus one girl I know was raised by her aunt and her aunt takes a cut of every paycheck she gets. Effing insane!

I know I know your father's fallen on hard times. So did mine. Maybe he was lucky or smart but his long term care insurance helped out big time. Plus my step mother worker her freaking ass off. God bless them both.

Maybe when the car insurance settles you'll have some money left over after you pay the loan off. Do you need the car? Get rid of it! Plus see if the university has some kinda short term loan program that can help you out. Mine does.

Yeah... it was mainly because of my brother... I don't care for my parents much, but that's a whole 'nother story.

The car is actually theirs... it's in their name anyway.

Originally posted by Scott_H:

Also wtf are you doing buying your brother a cube? Shouldn't you be banking some money for school?

Get your money in order and worry about school. That's what I say.

I should clarify that. It was a joint present between several people (me, my parents, and my aunt/uncle). My part was pretty small, and that was before all my financial troubles (right after the cube came out actually).

Originally posted by jagga

dude, what year are u in college? If you are atleast 2nd or 3rd; try to find a job this summer. You are CS so u shouldn't have very hard time finding an entry level job. What I would say is focus on school and finish your degree. After that, things will turn out for the best. Plus why are you living in a single apartment? Those are so expensive; find a roomate to split the rent. I'm sure that would help out a lot.

Yeah, I have an okay job.. I've been giving out resumes like candy the last few weeks... hopefully i'll get something good from that.

I'm in this apartment because I used to share it with someone (my ex-fiancee, which is yet another crappy story), and she moved out. I have found a co-op to move into (co-ops = cheap!), but the soonest movein I could get was the end of august.

I've definately decided i'm not gonna drop out...

Originally posted by jagga

man, your week makes my troubles look puny.
I hope everything turns out aite.

jagga

thanks!

this too shall pass... but right now my life is the sucks.. heh

[HeatMiser]

Originally posted by jagga:
dude, what year are u in college? If you are atleast 2nd or 3rd; try to find a job this summer. You are CS so u shouldn't have very hard time finding an entry level job.

I'll second that. Hell, take on two jobs, if you can. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Does your school have any kind of student computer association or anything? That place is bound to be full of people with ideas on where to find jobs. Talk to your profs. Look at the U's job Web (almost all universities have one by now). Sell blood or plasma (crude, I know, but every little bit helps, and you're helping others in the process).

I'd also agree with the comments above about cutting your parents loose. I can't imagine doing this to my own parents, but then it's hard for me to imagine my parents being in a situation where they'd lose their homes (they're divorced and, while relatively comfortable, worked their asses off every day to save as much as they could).

Whatever you do, STAY IN SCHOOL! That's your ticket out of this mess. You're going to have to rely on the kindness of strangers for a while here, and you're going to come out of this a hell of a lot better person, but it sounds to me like you're way, way up against it.

My thoughts are with you, man.

[Kestral]

I agree with Scott - your parents suck, ditch'em. I know it sounds cruel but geez, maybe that will give incentive for them to get off their asses and get a job. The fact is, your family are like vampires, sucking the lifeblood out of you, it seems. Family is there to support each other, not to such the living life out of each other, which is what your family appears to be like.

I worked while going to University as well. Luckily I was able to live with my parents and I got lucky putting my savings in Internet stocks - AOL ended up paying my tuition. I just don't get how you got into the situation in the first place. Cause I would have said no to my parents from the start in such a circumstance. But since you're in it, you might as well cut it off NOW before it gets worse.

[chris_h]

Originally posted by Kestral:
I agree with Scott - your parents suck, ditch'em. I know it sounds cruel but geez,
.... I just don't get how you got into the situation in the first place. Cause I would have said no to my parents from the start in such a circumstance. But since you're in it, you might as well cut it off NOW before it gets worse.

Yeah... the main reason I sent them anything was because of my brother (he's a freshman in highschool). My parents and I don't get along.

Also, maybe someone will know something about the possibility of this.. my brother wants to move down here and stay with me, and go to highschool here. I'm 19, he's 16... He just got his license, so he could get a job and help with rent...
I don't know if it would be possible to enroll him down here? Because my parents are basically gonna abandon him at his friend's house... which I know isn't legal, but I don't want him to end up in a foster home or something.

And yeah, starting monday i'm gonna be working about 60hours a week. I'm more worried about short-term though...

[SillyMonk]

Chris,

Yes, your situation is crappy right now, no argument.

I once dropped out of school and had a hell of a time living. I can remember the last 25 cents that I owned was not enough for the bus to work. But I also went back to school as an adult (CompSci, yeah!) and it was good for me too, so I can't tell you what you should do. However, I would try and stay in school. My midset when things get bad is: "Do whatever it takes to reach my goal." I literally do anything (morally and legally) to reach your goal, which I assume is graduation. If you focus it makes the struggle a whole lot easier. You don't need to focus on your parents or their house as they have had two lifetimes between them to work out their problems. Just explain it to them that you are in danger of dropping out and you need to graduate. You don't need to focus on your brother, he can fight his own battles. Now if you all can help each other, then great, but it shouldn't be at the expense (literally) of you.


As for everything else, sometimes you have to stay flexible in your thinking. Don't think of yourself as being homeless in a month. Think of it as a way to have a new hangout. You have already sold some stuff so you are getting used to having less. This is the time for resourcefulness, which is a wonderful quality to have, employers love it.

Watch the movie Rudy for inspiration. If you don't have a VCR, go to the film school.

And Good luck!

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[juanvaldes]

Dude, I am so sorry for ya. I had no idea, well the accident but not all of this financial **** . Damn that sucks. I agree with most of what people have been saying here, cut off your parents, they should be supporting you! Jobs are good, thought about doing adult movies

just kidding, good idea with trying to bring your brother down to you, that majorly sucks that your parents are just going to abandon him like that.

Where are you working? Do they pay good?

How about setting up a "Keep Chris_h in college fund" here or something? I got $10 in change in my desk drawer...

Good luck to ya,
Juan

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"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of work another company could come along and copy your work and market it under its own name...without legal restraints to such copying, companies like Apple could not afford to advance the state of the art."
- Bill Gates, 1983 (New York Times, 25 Sep 1983, p. F2)

[cheerios]

Originally posted by chris_h:
Also, maybe someone will know something about the possibility of this.. my brother wants to move down here and stay with me, and go to highschool here. I'm 19, he's 16... He just got his license, so he could get a job and help with rent...
I don't know if it would be possible to enroll him down here? Because my parents are basically gonna abandon him at his friend's house... which I know isn't legal, but I don't want him to end up in a foster home or something.

The deal with your brother, far as I know, is that as long as your parents sign over custody to you, he can go live with you. Technically you have to be his legal guardian, I think, but since they're going to ditch him anyway, they may go for doing it with you, instead of with another family. This isn't a definite, though, so don't quote me on it!! Let me know if I can mail you 10 bucks or something, okay?

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...it's only life after all!
--Indigo Girls

[Timo]

Ouch. I truly hope that when you look back on this time, you can say this was THE nadir, and that everything was up from there.

There's a lot of good ideas on the thread. If I could add anything it would be these two ideas: one, stay focussed. That means taking care of yourself so that you can even be in a position to take care of others: brother, parents, whatever. All in good time. You can't help anyone if you're not in a position to help.

Which leads me to the the second idea. I'm echoing others when I say stay in school. Someone wrote that it is your ticket out of this mess and I agree. It means everything else equal you'll have much better job prospects after you graduate. But it also means that you'll have access to a community -- other students, school functionaries, people itchin' to help. Health insurance. It's a lot better than being out on your own.

Pick and chose from the opinions given here, and fashion a plan that truly makes sense to you. This is not a time to conform to other people's ideas: this is a time to do things that make sense to you.

Good luck.

T

[sek929]

This story is yet another example of why higher education should not be so fu*king expensive, its just ridiculous...

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[chris_h]

Originally posted by juanvaldes:
Jobs are good, thought about doing adult movies

Haha yeah I did think of that ;-) Definately an option... heh.

Originally posted by juanvaldes:

How about setting up a "Keep Chris_h in college fund" here or something? I got $10 in change in my desk drawer...

Haha... someone emailed and suggested I setup a paypal account. I wouldn't feel right taking money from anyone though, this is my problem.
Although, I have considering panhandling down on sixth street. naah. ;-)

Thanks for the support you guys... I feel alot better than I did earlier today

-
[email protected]

"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.
All life is an experiment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

[jagga]

Originally posted by chris_h:

Thanks for the support you guys... I feel alot better than I did earlier today

anything we can do dude to make you feel a little better. This just makes u realize no matter how much you think your life sucks, the world has it in for you; there is always someone else who has it worse. So think of other before you bitch and moan
hang in there chris

jagga

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Check out some screenshots here
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[Ruddigger]

Originally posted by cheerios:
The deal with your brother, far as I know, is that as long as your parents sign over custody to you, he can go live with you. Technically you have to be his legal guardian, I think, but since they're going to ditch him anyway, they may go for doing it with you, instead of with another family. This isn't a definite, though, so don't quote me on it!! Let me know if I can mail you 10 bucks or something, okay?

Yeah, me too, if you still hav an address

You oughtta look into the porno thing BTW... Seems like a win-win situation...

[chris_h]

Originally posted by Ruddigger:
Yeah, me too, if you still hav an address

BWAHAHA that was so wrong man.

I've actually started making preperations for being homeless. I'm gonna have my mail forwarded to this guy's house that I work with.

I can just live out of my car until august 25th.

This is so weird... almost surreal... not at all what I had imagined for myself... heh.

Originally posted by Ruddigger:
You oughtta look into the porno thing BTW... Seems like a win-win situation...

absolutely

Originally posted by:

This just makes u realize no matter how much you think your life sucks, the world has it in for you

Isn't that the truth!

--
[email protected]

WARNING: This program won't compile on the Code Warrior compiler. It will compile on Microsoft compilers; however, it should be noted that it is bad coding.

[Ruby]

Man, that sucks Chris. You really did the right thing by selling some stuff that would be hard to part with. Things will get better...this stuff only makes you stronger

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Ruby

[juanvaldes]

Originally posted by Ruddigger:
You oughtta look into the porno thing BTW... Seems like a win-win situation...

That's what I was thinking!
How are you going to be living out of your car? Wasn't it totaled? Couldn't you crash at a friends house until this blew over and you can get back on your feet?

Setup a PayPal account or whatever, I am sure that people here would love to help. I would rather receive donations then have to beg people on the street.

------------------
"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of work another company could come along and copy your work and market it under its own name...without legal restraints to such copying, companies like Apple could not afford to advance the state of the art."
- Bill Gates, 1983 (New York Times, 25 Sep 1983, p. F2)

[chris_h]

Originally posted by juanvaldes:
[b] That's what I was thinking!
How are you going to be living out of your car? Wasn't it totaled? Couldn't you crash at a friends house until this blew over and you can get back on your feet?

Yeah... But i'm supposed to get a rental car any-day-now(tm) from them. The other bad (kinda) news I got today was that the car wasn't technically totaled... in that they're just going to pay for it to be repaired... which sucks because if it had been really totalled I might've come out a little bit ahead. Ah well.

Yeah, I don't mean literally live out of my car... I've already contacted a few people (mostly from work) who say I can crash on their couch some. This way I won't have to impose on any one person too much, I can kinda go between couches.

[juanvaldes]

Originally posted by chris_h:
Yeah... But i'm supposed to get a rental car any-day-now(tm) from them. The other bad (kinda) news I got today was that the car wasn't technically totaled... in that they're just going to pay for it to be repaired... which sucks because if it had been really totalled I might've come out a little bit ahead. Ah well.

Yeah, I don't mean literally live out of my car... I've already contacted a few people (mostly from work) who say I can crash on their couch some. This way I won't have to impose on any one person too much, I can kinda go between couches.

Bummer about the car... glad to hear that you have friends that will let you crash, and a number so you don't impose.

------------------
"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of work another company could come along and copy your work and market it under its own name...without legal restraints to such copying, companies like Apple could not afford to advance the state of the art."
- Bill Gates, 1983 (New York Times, 25 Sep 1983, p. F2)

[fisherKing]

no problem is insurmountable, and no matter how tough it is right now, imagine yourself in a better place in 10 years looking back on this time; you'll remember how hard it was, but you GOT THRU IT.

the stuff you sell is just...stuff. replaceable.
stay strong, turn to friends, work like crazy, get thru it, and believe that there's something better waiting.

good luck!

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[Misha]

Thought about the military at all? If things get really bad, you can always fall back on them... they changed some requirements last year and now have some jobs that only require a 2-year committment. You're not going to be banking by any means, but you'll have your living arrangements taken care of and you can go to class as well.

[gorgonzola]

Oh man, Chris, I'm sorry ... I don't know what else to say.

The only good thing is that you're a smart guy. You'll pull out of it. I'll ditto what everyone else said: stay in school.

Oh, man...

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the oddball newsletter
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it's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything

[Macfreak7]

dude, life is full of ups and downs, for everyone. its just how you react to it.
of course you're in a very tough situation, but you gotta keep it positive.

i'd say go find a couple of jobs. work hard and then resume college, IF you have to drop out. (easier said than done, i know, cant do anything else)

[RWoelk]

**Focus**

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Rocke "Why yes, I have brought our
network down." Woelk

Only the educated are free!-Epictetus

[Scott_H]

Military is not a bad idea if things get bad. My father was ROTC in college and went into the Navy after that. He never once ran his P3-C into another plane.

DON'T TAKE ON YOUR BROTHER. It's not consistent with you finishing school. What about health insurance for him? If he so much as breaks a finger it'll cost you $1000 to get it fixed. He may be better off at a friend's house if they are good people. Tell him to hang on until you finish and then you'll talk about it.

[Kestral]

Sillymonk,

Just wanted to say enjoyed your post very much. Doing whatever it takes is the mark of a champion.

Kestral

[Kestral]

A couple more thoughts...

First of all, you mentioned debt - is it credit card debt? If it is, the first thing you should do is call them. Tell them that you can't pay and unless they lower the interest, you will have no choice but to file for bankruptcy, and therefore they don't get their money. I've heard people tell me that the credit card companies have even gone to NO INTEREST when they hear this. It's definitely worth a shot.

I agree with everyone out there - STAY IN SCHOOL. It could mean the difference between having a crappy life now and an awesome one in the future or you could end up pimping your ass and being a crackhead. Ok, I'm saying it in a pretty immature way to lighten the mood but I think you get the point.

I also agree with the people who say to let your brother take care of yourself. When you take care of people the way you are suggesting, what you end up doing is teaching them to be dependent. And that is a BAD THING, a VERY BAD THING. I almost see a pattern here. At some point you must have taught your parents to be dependent and by doing that, you not only rob yourself of your own resources and fruits of your labor, but you also rob them of their independence. I agree with Timo, who wrote really fine words as well, you must strengthen yourself. Now is the time to build yourself up, not to worry about other people. And no, you are not being selfish. Of course, "selfish" is an unnecessarily morally and emotionally loaded word. I've been reading Ayn Rand lately so that word has taken a newer and more positive meaning for me. But the point is, if you don't look after yourself, who will?

[chris_h]

Originally posted by Macintosh Freak, numero seven:

dude, life is full of ups and downs, for everyone. its just how you react to it.

Amen to that.

Originally posted by Kestral:
A couple more thoughts...

First of all, you mentioned debt - is it credit card debt?

Yeah, its credit card... they seem _very_ unwilling to work with me.
They keep calling telling me they'll take my house/car... and every time I tell them I don't have a house or a car (technically i don't, it's not in my name), and they get all pissy ...
And now they're almost what I'd call harassing me... they started calling me at ungodly hours of the morning (6:30 (CST) am) even though I tell them not to.
I've started not answering my phone unless it's someone I know.

I've seen commercials for those debt consolidation places... I dunno what those are all about, I'm gonna research that tomorrow. Anyone know anymore about that?

I've written out my plan... i'll copy/paste it here:
1)Hopefully get some sort of payment plan set up with credit cards. If not, I may have to declare bankrupcy. (I am pretty damn bankrupt, after all).
2)Bum places to sleep/shower/etc until august 25th.
3)Not take in my brother until I get back on my feet at least
4)Work 60hrs a week (I start this on monday) all summer.

Hopefully this will work out.

Misha: I did think about the service, but it wouldn't be good for me... plus this way I can start paying off my debt.

Many thanks!

-
[email protected]
Who created this 'soceity' and 'civilization'? Its complete crap.

[edit: OOPS! be careful how you spell 'pissy']


[This message has been edited by chris_h (edited 05-11-2001).]

[This message has been edited by chris_h (edited 05-11-2001).]

[Bugs Bunny]

Consumer Credit Counseling sounds like the best route to go. They work with your creditors to stop the harrasing calls, and threats, reduce your interest rate, and payment amount. CCC works out a comfortable payment schedule with you, and your creditors. They are good people to work with if you have alot of debt, and they contact each creditor and work out a reduced payment schedule. Forget Bankrupcy, it sticks with you like the plague, and I mean longer than you think. Plus, working with CCC will show you are willing to try to repay your debt. But, you still have to have some income

Good Luck, keep the chin up

Oops, forgot a link for you: http://www.consumercredit.com/

[This message has been edited by Bugs Bunny (edited 05-11-2001).]

[l'ignorante]

First time I read every word in a thread. I'm impressed.
All the advice is good (except the porn&the army maybe). I'm not sure I can add anything usefull. From experience I can say this:

Keep a practical mind
- Make a list of earnings and expenses, but don't include the debts yet.
- cut expenses where you can

- Find out how much you can possibly save in one month
-a car is a real financial pain, gas, tax, insurance. If there's decent public transport where you have to go, dump the car.

- Make a list & plan how you think you can pay your debts

-Now I don't know how it's done in the US, but most universities in Europe have organisations/intermediates who can help settling financial problems. If you have, contact them and show them your plans.

I think it's really important to make sure everybody knows when and how they're going to get their money. They will leave you alone and you can focus on attacking other problems.

But stay in school!!


Good luck man!



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[lothar56]

Originally posted by juanvaldes:

How about setting up a "Keep Chris_h in college fund" here or something? I got $10 in change in my desk drawer...

Yeah, you should make a PayPal account for yourself and we can all send you money!!

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[lothar56]

seriously dude, give us your PayPal e-mail address.

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[gumby5647]

working 60 hours a week may sound like a great idea, that is until you get your pay stub and find out that you really only get paid for 40 or so hours.....IE. Taxes.... (you have Mr. Al Gore to thank for that. )

but really dude....seriously, i have 10 bucks around here.....let me know where to send it...

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AIM: gumby5647
ICQ:41746288
[email protected]
http://homepage.mac.com/gumby5647
iMac DV +, Indigo, 128MB, 20GB

[Scott_H]

you have Mr. Al Gore to thank for that.

Now I'm all for bashing Gore and Democrats and that lot. You blame Gore for our current taxes? Sure he was a senator once but that was a while ago. Even then he as 1 out of 100.

[chris_h]

Originally posted by lothar56:
seriously dude, give us your PayPal e-mail address.

Well, because of some really wonderful emails, I did sign up for paypal. If you want to donate to the "keep chris_h in college fund" ;-) I would appreciate it more than you know. HOWEVER, I insist on paying you guys back once I get back on my feet. Link here. I've never used paypal before, could someone tell me if i did that link right?

I'd like to reiterate how great you guys are...
Mac people are the best

Update:
I told my apartment leasing office that I would be leaving at the end of the month. Apparently I'm going to owe them a huge re-leting charge and a penalty for breaking the lease. The lady was really nice, but she said they usually do sue when someone breaks a lease without paying... so I may be needing to see a lawyer or something, I don't want to end up in jail or anything.


-
[email protected]
"Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions.All life is an experiment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

[chris_h]

Originally posted by gumby5647:
working 60 hours a week may sound like a great idea, that is until you get your pay stub and find out that you really only get paid for 40 or so hours.....IE. Taxes.... (you have Mr. Al Gore to thank for that. )

definately... the government is gonna get alot of tax money from me...
I'm working two part-time shifts (30hrs apiece) all summer.

Originally posted by gumby5647:

but really dude....seriously, i have 10 bucks around here.....let me know where to send it...

Well, my physical address is:

Chris Harris
11900 Hobby Horse Ct.
Apt #312
Austin, Tx 78758
USA

I normally wouldn't give that out publically, but hey, i'm not gonna be here for much longer anyway. After I leave here any mail sent here with my name on it will be forwarded to my friends house.

Thanks again you all

-
[email protected]
"Next thing you know we'll be needing MEGAbytes of RAM... "

[This message has been edited by chris_h (edited 05-11-2001).]

[Matsu]

This is a scam, isn't it?

[This message has been edited by Matsu (edited 05-11-2001).]

[chris_h]

Originally posted by Matsu:
This is a scam, isn't it?

[This message has been edited by Matsu (edited 05-11-2001).]

What?

[MikeM32]

Join the Military dude Then Continue college afterwards (there's even some for credit classes you can take while your'e in there). With your'e current credentials you may even make OCS.

Military isn't for everyone though, but there's some issues that will get "swept away" as happenned with me and a 10 grand lawsuit someone was trying to push on me for a little accident I had over 10 years back. They ran a red light but due to not having car insurance I would have gotten seriously slammed Nothing ever came of the lawsuit issue after my service time.

College was payed for after my Service time by my GI Bill, so I never required a loan for any of it.

Anyway, you seem to practically be supporting your own parents which is just not how it's "supposed" to work. Sure it's noble to help here and there, and we wish to try to see that they have a good life in thier older years, but your'e in school and need to focus on your needs and goals right now.

If the debts are getting out of control file Chapter 13, you won't have access to credit for a while, but it'll wipe your debt clean, and let you take a fresh start. Talk to a lawyer about it. There is no "shame" in filing a bankruptcy it's there to protect people from becoming homeless. I'd rather have a roof over my head and no credit myself, then live in a discarded refridgerator box.

I get to see many hopeless and homeless people on my daily BUS commute to work (I do not drive, and do not miss the expense especially with current fuel prices and my own states rediculous insurance rates). These homeless people live through the bitter cold of the New Jersey winter out on the streets, and it sucks more than anything could.

Sometimes it's when everything seems to suck that we become motivated to find solutions to problems like these. At least that's been my on-going life-lesson.

I really hope everything works out.

Mike

[eep!]

Chris_h, I can relate to some of what you say, having no money, unpaid fees at university, sure I don't have to support my family but I still feel shitty for borrowing money off them... also a huge amount of stress (unrelated to family, uni or money but I'll save that for my counsellor ) But I know i'll pull through and hold my life together and you will too.

I think it's shitty that you might (are?) get(ting?) sued for moving out.
Also it would be unfortunate to go bankrupt while in college, you'll work it out we all believe in you, good luck for the future and keep us posted. I think i've got a dollar bill around someplace, but it would probably cost as much to post it from the UK.

Again, Good Luck!

Originally posted by MikeM32:
Sometimes it's when everything seems to suck that we become motivated to find solutions to problems like these.

Mike, I'm going to start to live by that and I think I've found a new sig!

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"Sometimes it's when everything seems to suck that we become motivated to find solutions to problems like these." - MikeM32

[ThinkInsane]

Just some suggestions:

Tell all bill collectors to f*ck off. They will get their money when you have it to give. They are trying to scare you by threatening law suits. It takes a long time for credit card companies to sue. I mean years of making no payments.

Have you tried to make arrangments with your leasing company? They probably will sue you. See if you can work out a payment plan with them. It doesn't hurt to ask. The worst they can do is say no. If you have a good track record with them, it is worth it to them to work with you as opposed to going to court.

If you really don't want to join the military, you could always go in the Navy. That's not really like being in the military.

Rules on guardianship of minors very from state to state. Check with the local social services department for more info. Also, check with them about food stamps and other aid until you get back on your feet. A man's got to eat. Also check with Catholic Charities and other groups like that. That's what they are there for. To help you get back on your feet

Get more aid out of your school. If your parents have been without work for long enough that they are losing their home, I guess that their income is pretty low. You should qualify for tons of aid. Get more from them. Hit up the finacial aid office, asap. YOu can get student loans to help, and pay them back after you graduate.

You are doing the right thing by swallowing your pride. No two things will break a man faster than pride and shame. Do away with both for now, and there will plenty of time to be proud of yourself later. And more reason for it too.....


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-Carpe Jugulum

[olePigeon]

Depression sucks.... so does 2 attempted suicide.

Did you know suicide is a crime that carries a maximum sentance of Death Penalty? What a stupid law. If you're trying to commite suicide, how would the death penalty be a punishment?

[juanvaldes]

Originally posted by Matsu:
This is a scam, isn't it?

[This message has been edited by Matsu (edited 05-11-2001).]

You haven't been paying much attention to chris_h, now that is fine, but I have been talking to him for a while and he is very cool. I remember him being proud of getting his younger brother a cube, I remember the day he got into the accident and how he accounted how the accident happened, because he has told me these things I trust him. I believe him. Why would he make up an elaborate story that started a while ago to scam all of us???

hey, if you think it's a scam...DON'T SEND HIM ANY MONEY!!!!!

Now, I believe him. I am the one who suggested starting the "keep chris_h in college fund" and I am now off to the ATM. I don't care if I never get the money back, it's about helping out our fellow man. Do you ask the bum you gave a $20 to to pay you back? Hell, do you even give away money?

I am doing this to hopefully keep another CS college student in school. I too am a CS in college, it's hard and expensive. But I have a father who is working and grandparents who want to buy my love, so I am willing to help chris out.

now, Matsu, I didn't mean to just down your throat but you just don't know him very well I guess...

[edit] Also, Matsu, if you read the whole thread you would have noticed that it started with Chris just letting off some steam about how crappy his week has been. He even turned down charity in the beginning, when pushed by multiple people that is when he setup the account.

I just find it irritating when people think that everyone is out to rob them...
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"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of work another company could come along and copy your work and market it under its own name...without legal restraints to such copying, companies like Apple could not afford to advance the state of the art."
- Bill Gates, 1983 (New York Times, 25 Sep 1983, p. F2)

[This message has been edited by juanvaldes (edited 05-12-2001).]

[This message has been edited by juanvaldes (edited 05-12-2001).]

[chris_h]

It's hard to express how grateful I am to all of you... I'm generally a skeptical person, but in alot of ways this experience has given me a new faith in humanity.

Matsu: I don't blame you for being skeptical... you're one of the people here I don't know personally. As juanvaldes pointed out though (thanks :-) I still don't like the idea of taking charity. The only way I was talked into it was the suggestion that I could pay everyone back once i'm back on my feet, and that is what I will do.

This has been a humbling experience, to say the least.
Everyone has given me such great advice... I'm still talking with the consumer credit people, hopefully we can work out a payment plan with them. I'm still worried about the apartment.. I have an appointment with the apartment manager on monday morning, so hopefully we can work something out there.

Thanks again to all of you!

-
[email protected]
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe." --Carl Sagan

[This message has been edited by chris_h (edited 05-12-2001).]

[cheerios]

Chris, watch your mailbox, you should have an envelope comin' your way from me & Juan. Enjoy, and use it in good health.

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...it's only life after all!
--Indigo Girls

[eep!]

Originally posted by olePigeon:
Depression sucks.... so does 2 attempted suicide.

That it does, My second run at prozac coming up! I contemplated, never attempted. Be Strong.




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"Sometimes it's when everything seems to suck that we become motivated to find solutions to [our] problems." - MikeM32

[cheerios]

Originally posted by olePigeon:
Depression sucks.... so does 2 attempted suicide.

Did you know suicide is a crime that carries a maximum sentance of Death Penalty? What a stupid law. If you're trying to commite suicide, how would the death penalty be a punishment?

I've always kinda wondered that, myself... I mean, it's my life, I can choose to waste my life on drugs and stuff... but if I try to commit suicide, I'm arrested??? (not that I have been) Wierd!!! Law is an odd thing.

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...it's only life after all!
--Indigo Girls

[MacCube]

I'm surprised nobody here has suggested going to the college or university counselling department. There's usually a whole office set up entirely for counselling students when the need arises. I'm sure you'd make an ideal candidate. You'll get helpful advice from those whose job it is to help you. Perhaps you've gotten some good advice here, too. But only a professional counsellor has the wherewithal to point you in the right direction locally. Perhaps there's a special agency in your area that works particularly with those in situations like yourself? They should know this and show you how. Insist on the seriousness of your plight. Write down all the things that are bothering you and put it in order of importance. How important is it for you to complete university now? Keep your own place now? Support your parents now? Have your bro move in with you now? Prioritize your life and things will fall into place more easily.

Lastly, get this book (from the library if you have to): The Tao of Pooh. It'll really help your outlook, no matter your situation. Philosophy for the layman, it is. Short, and a fun read to boot! Best of luck.



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