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My World Has Been Rocked (Advice Thread) (Page 7)
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Clinically Insane
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Wives' tales, my wife was sickness free and energetic up until the day she had our daughter. In fact she only gained about 25lbs the whole time and worked almost every day (family of workaholics). He sounds very bright. Don't worry about language, he'll be using $5 words before you know it.
I've started a couple hours of "school" (structured learning) each day with mine (Mon-Fri), going over; language, math, and science.
Her: "I don't feel like school today."
Me: "Okay, what do you want to do?"
"Nothing, I'm burnt out."
"You're a 2 year-old burnout?"
*nods* "Lo siento, papa."
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
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Originally Posted by Jawbone54
So basically nothing until the sonogram? That's what we think — we just hear 1,000 stories from everyone telling us how to look for something different in advance.
I've always felt that if there was even an iota of merit to any of the wives tales about predicting gender, someone in the past 10,000 years would have studied, documented, and proven it.
Half the people I know thought my wife would have a boy, half thought a girl, and guess what, half were right.
(I can't believe my daughter is now more than 6 months old!)
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Clinically Insane
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Originally Posted by Jawbone54
Haaaaahahahaha
It's really cute, she'll lapse from English to Spanish (we're trying to teach her to be naturally bilingual), some things she prefers to say in one language over the other and it's completely random.
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
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Just a few days away from this little guy entering the world:
His name is Owen River, and his due date is less than three weeks away, with signs that he's about to come knocking'. His older brother just turned three on Halloween, so we took the opportunity to take some updated pictures:
Now for the update/questions. I mentioned much of this earlier.
My first son spent the better part of a year and a half sick beyond belief. He had 13 staph infections ear infections nearly the entire time. The doctor told us that it caused him to be delayed in his speech, but he's otherwise on track. He counts to twenty, has spoken at least 1,500 words, recognizes shapes (even "equilateral triangles"), but he's still not communicating in sentences regularly.
We had him screened at the local school board, and he qualified for speech therapy (adult, peer, and general), so we're getting some help, but of course the, "Are we looking at the possibility of autism," questions started playing into our minds.
He doesn't seem to show any other signs EXCEPT the delay in speech. He looks where we point, has great motor skills, looks at us in the eyes when he asks for something (usually in single words, but never "I want..."). This forum has a wide range of experience, so I'm wondering if anyone knows anything I should be looking to observe. I'm not freaking out or worried — he's awesome regardless. I'm just trying be a prepared parent.
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Last edited by Jawbone54; Nov 13, 2014 at 08:02 PM.
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Poor guy, ouch. I was like that as a kid, and had to have tubes put in. I remember the tubes and calling the ear doctor names. Ear infections seemed to lessen, I had the tubes out when I was about 5.
I have no direct experience with this otherwise, but the ear thing = speech delay makes sense.
gorgeous picture.
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Clinically Insane
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After a run of several ear infections (always when I was out of town for work), mine had tubes put in at around 1 year. His ears were more than 30% blocked before the tubes, potentially inhibiting his hearing and speech development, but fortunately he's been infection-free ever since getting the tubes. I'll get home from Australia in early December, just in time for his 2nd birthday.
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These little blondies... too cute.
Must be hard being away, laminar.
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Clinically Insane
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What I'm watching right now:
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Originally Posted by Jawbone54
He doesn't seem to show any other signs EXCEPT the delay in speech. He looks where we point, has great motor skills, looks at us in the eyes when he asks for something (usually in single words, but never "I want..."). This forum has a wide range of experience, so I'm wondering if anyone knows anything I should be looking to observe. I'm not freaking out or worried — he's awesome regardless. I'm just trying be a prepared parent.
Have you ruled out his silent protest at the ridiculous hairstyles you keep giving him? I suspect that's the only serious issue here.
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Mankind's only chance is to harness the power of stupid.
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Mac Elite
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Different kids do different things at different times. Even my twins are totally different. One walked before he was one, the other didn't until six months later - but that one started talking as soon as he could whereas his brother took his time. I've stopped worrying and just let them get on with it.
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Administrator
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Kids learn to create words, pronounce them, and string them together by hearing and watching. Having goofed up ears for an extended period of time gets in the way of that, but speech therapy can usually get even very delayed kids up to speed by the time they're in school. And you're right about all those other signs NOT indicating autism. Autism is defined as a dysfunction in social interaction, NOT just speech delay, and some key symptoms include lack of "joint attention" (looking where you point) and lack of or discomfort with direct eye contact. ANY communication is difficult for kids on the autism spectrum. And they have trouble cuddling...is your son cuddly? I'll bet he is.
Looking forward to new baby pictures soon!!
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Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Thanks for the responses, everyone.
Originally Posted by andi*pandi
Poor guy, ouch. I was like that as a kid, and had to have tubes put in. I remember the tubes and calling the ear doctor names. Ear infections seemed to lessen, I had the tubes out when I was about 5.
I have no direct experience with this otherwise, but the ear thing = speech delay makes sense.
I would love to have seen video of you as a small child degrading your doctor.
Yeah, my son's first two sets of tubes were plastic. The first set came out, then the next set were taken out by the doctor because the infections were so bad that the bacteria was colonizing the tubes. The third set were titanium (to prevent this), and have worked much, much better.
Originally Posted by Laminar
After a run of several ear infections (always when I was out of town for work), mine had tubes put in at around 1 year. His ears were more than 30% blocked before the tubes, potentially inhibiting his hearing and speech development, but fortunately he's been infection-free ever since getting the tubes. I'll get home from Australia in early December, just in time for his 2nd birthday.[/IMG]
Man, I second andi's comment — it must be hard being away that much.
Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton
Have you ruled out his silent protest at the ridiculous hairstyles you keep giving him? I suspect that's the only serious issue here.
LOL...
I freshen it up myself every 2-3 weeks for him. He hates it.
Originally Posted by Phileas
Different kids do different things at different times. Even my twins are totally different. One walked before he was one, the other didn't until six months later - but that one started talking as soon as he could whereas his brother took his time. I've stopped worrying and just let them get on with it.
That's what people have told us — the only reason we've been alarmed is because the speech is so far behind the other kids his age, despite the fact that his memorization and a few other skills are more advanced. We just didn't know at what stage to be alarmed.
Originally Posted by ghporter
Kids learn to create words, pronounce them, and string them together by hearing and watching. Having goofed up ears for an extended period of time gets in the way of that, but speech therapy can usually get even very delayed kids up to speed by the time they're in school. And you're right about all those other signs NOT indicating autism. Autism is defined as a dysfunction in social interaction, NOT just speech delay, and some key symptoms include lack of "joint attention" (looking where you point) and lack of or discomfort with direct eye contact. ANY communication is difficult for kids on the autism spectrum. And they have trouble cuddling...is your son cuddly? I'll bet he is.
Looking forward to new baby pictures soon!!
Thanks much. You've validated much of what we've believed and what the doctors have told us. It's just freaky when it's your kid, and these questions are floating around.
My kid isn't super cuddly (unless he's tired), but his mom isn't either. She's 100% type-A, and he's just like her. Very goal-oriented with little time for distractions.
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Posting Junkie
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I made another one.
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aw. Congrats. Brought a big smile to my face.
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Originally Posted by Jawbone54
I made another one.
Wonder what Mrs. Jawbone has to say about that.
Originally Posted by Jawbone54
Looks good and healthy. Now start saving.
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Yay! That's a real cutie.
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Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Congratulations! I hope both, the baby and the mom are well-up, and you'll catch plenty of sleep before they return home!
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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
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Clinically Insane
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I hear you have some milestones last/this month.
Mine will be three next month.
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Work it, make it, do it, makes us harder, better, faster, stronger.
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Posting Junkie
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Originally Posted by Laminar
I hear you have some milestones last/this month.
Mine will be three next month.
Maaaaan, he's crazy cute.
How in the world did you know? Ha... We actually had their joint party this morning.
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Clinically Insane
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We're Facebook friends.
Also, you held their party in Colorado?
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Clinically Insane
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Also suuuuper weird that the last pic I posted was exactly a year ago today.
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Originally Posted by Laminar
We're Facebook friends.
Wow...I completely forgot.
Also, you held their party in Colorado?
I wish. We held it in our front yard. I'm gonna post two or three pics here (but about 50 on Facebook for the grandparents, aunts, uncle, etc.
Also have some news on my oldest son's "speech issues" that I posted about around a year ago.
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Originally Posted by Jawbone54
Also have some news on my oldest son's "speech issues" that I posted about around a year ago.
I'm curious in hearing your updates and hopefully good news. My 2 year old's speech is a bit delayed so we are looking into hearing tests and potentially speech therapy.
I find it very irritating that all of a sudden the entire family is a bunch of experts on infant/toddler milestones and what ages their respective kids did whatever age. You didn't go to medical school and therefore I don't want medical advice from you. Your anecdotes are just that. </rant>
Oh and did I mention the next one is on the way and scheduled to arrive before 2015 closes?
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Too many people think that their children were absolutely exemplary in everything, so that when their kid did X, that must mean that it is "normal" and anything else is "abnormal." Nope, not even close.
Those developmental milestones are anything but etched in stone, although if a child doesn't reach certain points by certain ages it's cause for investigation - like limited speech at two years. Hearing is the primary suspect in many cases.
I'm not a physician. I'm an occupational therapist. Most physicians aren't the right people to ask about developmental milestones anyway; you want a developmental pediatrician. Oddly enough, not nearly enough family practice doctors even know that there is such a thing as a developmental pediatrician. Or an occupational therapist for that matter.
Oh, and congratulations on the impending addition to the family!
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My wife and I took our oldest son to Dallas, Texas to a school and evaluation center with an incredible reputation for diagnosing and working with children on the autism spectrum. My wife and I believe strongly in confronting reality head-on with early intervention, if needed, so we wanted to be sure about whether or not he needed additional therapy.
A basic summary of their findings:
- He is now officially confirmed to be on the autism spectrum. His long-term prognosis is high-functioning, but they usually don't make that determination at such a young age. They made an exception because he doesn't show some of the typical behaviors (wild fits, no eye contact, low socialization skills, frequent stimming, etc.), and he's already developed so much.
- He tested very low in verbalization, but his cognitive abilities were on the high-end of average. They told us the cognitive scores should actually rise as his verbalization scores increase through ABA therapy.
- He tested several years beyond the average child, academically. This is consistent with his assessments from the therapists that have been working with him during the past year.
- He tested well into genius levels spatially, visually, and in sequencing. They predict he will show an incredible aptitude for mathematics, but also in music.
TL;DR - My son is autistic, but his future still looks bright, and we're incredibly happy with him. We'll strengthen his weaknesses develop his strengths. Seriously, he's freaking awesome.
Here's a picture of him a few days ago at his and his brother's birthday party:
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The creator of Community and Rick and Morty has a weekly podcast, and in one episode he had the author of Neurotribes on and they talked extensively about the history of autism and its place in modern society. It really opened my eyes and the whole thing had me spellbound the entire time. There's probably some language so keep your headphones on, but you can listen here:
Harmontown - 163 - NeuroTitties | Listen via Stitcher Radio On Demand
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So it's something similar to Asperger's syndrome? We have a friend with Asperger's and although she isn't especially loquacious, she's very bright (works as a pharmacist).
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"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a
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but by the content of their character." - M.L.King Jr
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Clinically Insane
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Asperger's is on the autism spectrum, but children with Asperger's don't experience speech delays. Think Abed from Community.
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You've got a great attitude, and a bright boy there, Jawbone.
After some years of noticing daughter's mild speech impediment/volume issues, but being told she'd outgrow it, we've realized at 8 that nope, not outgrowing it. However, since she is talkative and manages to get her point across, the school didn't qualify her for their services. So we are getting outside recommendations now.
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Posting Junkie
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Originally Posted by Laminar
The creator of Community and Rick and Morty has a weekly podcast, and in one episode he had the author of Neurotribes on and they talked extensively about the history of autism and its place in modern society. It really opened my eyes and the whole thing had me spellbound the entire time. There's probably some language so keep your headphones on, but you can listen here:
Harmontown - 163 - NeuroTitties | Listen via Stitcher Radio On Demand
Listened to the whole thing a few hours later (with headphones in) as I was getting my boys through the bath routine. Definitely a good listen, and I'm going to be buying the book too.
Originally Posted by Cap'n Tightpants
So it's something similar to Asperger's syndrome? We have a friend with Asperger's and although she isn't especially loquacious, she's very bright (works as a pharmacist).
Originally Posted by Laminar
Asperger's is on the autism spectrum, but children with Asperger's don't experience speech delays. Think Abed from Community.
From what we've read, and then from what the two doctor's told us, Asperger's is considered an antiquated diagnosis (classic autism, Asperger's, and PDD-NOS all fall under the spectrum umbrella as of the release of the DSM-5 ( Wikipedia link here):
The diagnosis of Asperger's was eliminated in the 2013 fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) and replaced by a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder on a severity scale.
Laminar is right in that it was only associated with those on the spectrum who didn't exhibit a speech delay. They were often referred to as "little professors" because they use advanced language at an early age.
The problem with Asperger's is that many children were diagnosed as having had Asperger's despite delayed speech, most often as a result of the kid seeming high-functioning despite the verbal delay. In other words, hearing your child had Asperger's was considered more pleasant than a classic autism diagnosis. Our son would have possibly (but not certainly) been diagnosed with Asperger's ten years ago, due to his positive academic scores and less-severe symptoms.
Originally Posted by andi*pandi
You've got a great attitude, and a bright boy there, Jawbone.
Thank you much. To be fair, I'm taking it a lot better than my wife. I'm excited because now we know how to proceed; my wife is worried because she can't predict how her son will be perceived.
After some years of noticing daughter's mild speech impediment/volume issues, but being told she'd outgrow it, we've realized at 8 that nope, not outgrowing it. However, since she is talkative and manages to get her point across, the school didn't qualify her for their services. So we are getting outside recommendations now.
We were in a similar situation because our school board didn't give an official diagnosis, which is why we traveled to Dallas. There we got our diagnosis, and now therapy will be footing the bill.
I'm curious about your daughter's situation. If it's not too personal for you to discuss, could you elaborate on her verbal/volume issues? I'm always looking for a parallel to see where my son might be further down the road, so I often ask (at the risk of being too invasive).
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As long as he's loved and cared for, no question there, he'll project that to those he meets. I'd say he'll be right as rain.
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"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a
nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character." - M.L.King Jr
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Your son has a challenging, but positive prognosis. Remember, they call it a "spectrum" because it can be as minimally impairing as being socially ambivalent, or as debilitating as complete lack of apparent connection with reality. High functioning is a good term for it, but a whole lot of theoretically normal people have enough of the manifestations of autism to be easily diagnosed, and they get by just fine.
Asperger's Syndrome is a deprecated term, but it is a good label for some specific issues, such as very poor social awareness. As a separate diagnosis, there were issues involving categorization - and insurance coverage. Removing the separate diagnosis allows for better integration of treatment (ABA is great for this), and of course better insurance coverage of that treatment.
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Originally Posted by Jawbone54
Here's a picture of him a few days ago at his and his brother's birthday party:
Dude.
What on earth is your little boy wearing?
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Originally Posted by The Final Shortcut
Dude.
What on earth is your little boy wearing?
I'll respond in turn: Dude...
Ask my wife.
But seriously, I have no idea. All the other moms love it, but I routinely find ways to put him into his Nowitzki and Arsenal gear when she's not looking.
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He looks like he belongs in a WHAM! video or something.
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My daughter would regularly get dressed in pink even though she hates it (her favorite color is yellow), so she would retaliate by undressing in public. If they didn't keep a close eye on her she would, quite literally, strip off any pink clothes she was wearing and throw them in the trash, toilet, or out a window.
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"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a
nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character." - M.L.King Jr
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Originally Posted by Cap'n Tightpants
My daughter would regularly get dressed in pink even though she hates it (her favorite color is yellow), so she would retaliate by undressing in public. If they didn't keep a close eye on her she would, quite literally, strip off any pink clothes she was wearing and throw them in the trash, toilet, or out a window.
Baaaahahahahaha
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We first realized it when one day while driving, I turned to my wife and said, "I told you she hates pink". "No she doesn't." "Then why did she throw her shoes out the window?" "She what?!?!"
At first we thought she was an exhibitionist, because sometimes she took her clothes off in public or we'd find her running around in her diaper, but then we discovered that she just hated the color. I mean, sure, she'd told us she didn't like it, but then she took it all to a whole `nother level.
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"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a
nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character." - M.L.King Jr
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Someone wants to post in this.... (not me)
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My world, too, has been rocked!
Meet Zoey
She's healthy and happy, really easy baby so far *knocks on wood*. Wife had to be induced and it turned out the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck, resulting in a drop in heart rate during every contraction which was quite stressful for the 30 or so hours she was being induced. In the end it all worked out and we are settling into a nice routine now.
Now my minecraft buddies know why I have nearly disappeared from the server!
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Congratulations! I am glad to hear you have a healthy daughter and hope you can catch lots of sleep.
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Congrats! That's awesome. Being a parent is both the best thing in the world and the most difficult. Your life will indeed be rocked.
Mine are 5 and 8 now and it's been a crazy ride so far. I love being a dad.
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Last edited by ort888; Mar 15, 2018 at 02:49 PM.
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My sig is 1 pixel too big.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
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My youngest recently gave birth to our first grandchild. It’s been awhile since I last held a baby, and it’s still as cool as I remember. Enjoy thiis moment! Congratulations!
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: inside 128, north of 90
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
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Congrats, also!
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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Wooooooooooooo! Congrats! We're about 2 months into the latest one.
Or does this belong in the "Woops" thread?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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You can tell it’s your kid because you both have the same hair.
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