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Why are my shorts growing?
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ort888
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Jun 8, 2011, 12:54 PM
 
Important question...

So I put on a pair of shorts at 8am and they fit just fine. A little snug.

By Noon, they are practically falling off my ass. I have a serious case of the droopy drawers.

What gives. Surely it's the fabric stretching and not me shrinking.... but I don't know.

This is why I always wear a belt... but not today. Nope.

My sig is 1 pixel too big.
     
Laminar
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Jun 8, 2011, 01:02 PM
 
Were they recently sent through the drier? That happens to me with jeans. I put them on and assume I don't need a belt until halfway through the day when they loosen up and fall off.
     
Doofy
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Jun 8, 2011, 01:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by ort888 View Post
Important question...

So I put on a pair of shorts at 8am and they fit just fine. A little snug.

By Noon, they are practically falling off my ass. I have a serious case of the droopy drawers.

What gives. Surely it's the fabric stretching and not me shrinking.... but I don't know.

This is why I always wear a belt... but not today. Nope.
Did you have a boner at 8am and not at noon?
Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
     
The Final Dakar
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Jun 8, 2011, 01:07 PM
 
Have your short recently visited Fukishima?
     
Salty
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Jun 8, 2011, 02:06 PM
 
Fabric stretches and relaxes. Try a belt.
     
subego
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Jun 8, 2011, 03:02 PM
 
If you wear cargo shorts, the models based off of army uniforms have buckled tabs you can tighten up as the day progresses.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Jun 8, 2011, 03:20 PM
 
Originally Posted by ort888
What gives. Surely it's the fabric stretching and not me shrinking.... but I don't know.

This is why I always wear a belt... but not today. Nope.
Originally Posted by Salty
Fabric stretches and relaxes. Try a belt.
Genius.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
Demonhood
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Jun 8, 2011, 05:12 PM
 
Did you give birth to a baby between 8 and noon?
     
Spheric Harlot
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Jun 8, 2011, 05:17 PM
 
No, I think it's the fabric stretching and relaxing.

He might try a belt.

Or Lamaze.
     
ort888  (op)
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Jun 8, 2011, 05:28 PM
 
This thread is 50% serious.

I really am wearing shorts that started the day feeling snug and now are about 2 inches too big. It's a lot of give. I have to walk around holding onto a belt loop to stop them from falling to my knees. It's that bad.

I can understand a little bit of fabric loosening, but this seems like a lot.

My sig is 1 pixel too big.
     
Shaddim
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Jun 8, 2011, 06:09 PM
 
Originally Posted by Salty View Post
Fabric stretches and relaxes. Try a belt.
This.

But don't use a tie as a belt, because that's just...
"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
     
ort888  (op)
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Jun 8, 2011, 06:12 PM
 
What about an extension cord?

My sig is 1 pixel too big.
     
Uncle Skeleton
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Jun 8, 2011, 06:30 PM
 
hey dude, he's ragging on your cord
     
brassplayersrock²
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Jun 8, 2011, 06:43 PM
 
Have you been passing a lot of gas today? Same thing happened to me on Monday, my pants fit fine, but throughout the day, I had to let ones loose, and my pants started slipping.
     
turtle777
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Jun 8, 2011, 06:44 PM
 
Contrary to everyone else in this thread, I'd recommend to let the pants drop. You can't fight gravity forever.

-t
     
Oisín
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Jun 8, 2011, 07:04 PM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
Contrary to everyone else in this thread, I'd recommend to let the pants drop. You can't fight gravity forever.

-t
Plus, if you’re really lucky, you’ll win a Bud. ‘Luck’ is a purely relative concept.
     
Phileas
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Jun 8, 2011, 07:09 PM
 
The gas scenario makes sense. Been eating beans?
     
Oisín
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Jun 8, 2011, 07:14 PM
 
On topic:

Different kinds of fabric will grow and shrink to different degrees. Soft cotton will shrink a lot when washed and (especially) tumble-dried, and will grow back to its full size when you’ve worn it a few hours. Denim will give a bit, but not nearly as much.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Jun 9, 2011, 12:38 AM
 
The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time.

"One ticket to Washington, please. I have a date with destiny."
     
residentEvil
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Jun 9, 2011, 06:47 AM
 
Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey View Post
The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time.
okay Grandpa Simpson; go back to sleep
     
mattyb
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Jun 9, 2011, 07:21 AM
 
Not that I'm sick or anything, but I think that pictures are needed.
     
Railroader
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Jun 9, 2011, 10:31 AM
 
     
[email protected]
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Jun 9, 2011, 06:55 PM
 
Originally Posted by ort888 View Post
What about an extension cord?
What, me worry?
     
Doc HM
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Jun 10, 2011, 06:07 AM
 
But what if his shorts really are growing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This space for Hire! Reasonable rates. Reach an audience of literally dozens!
     
Face Ache
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Jun 10, 2011, 07:27 AM
 
Originally Posted by Shaddim View Post
But don't use a tie as a belt, because...
... ties are for headbands!


During the night, while you're lying down, your blood distributes more evenly through your body. During the day, gravity draws your blood to your ankles.

So while your shorts are loosening, you'll probably notice your socks are getting tighter.

And now you're wearing shorts, socks and a tie for a headband. Loose shorts are not your biggest problem.
     
   
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