[Gropin'GL]

Ok. 13 year old here, with a big dilemma, I just want to know what you all think of this. So there's this kid at my school, lets call him Bob. Bob is a big pain in the ass and is in all of my classes. People tease and make fun at Bob, and I admit I do make the occasional jab if he gets on my last nerve. But today, at our lunch period, a particular bully who picks on Bob, lets call him Joe, takes his drink away from him. Bob tries to get it back, but rips Joes shirt in the process, presumably on accident. He also smears jelly from his sandwich on his back because Joe was being an idiot. Joe then takes his drink and spits a loogy in it. I only found out about this after Bob had already drank it and felt really bad. Later in my english class, Bob started crying because of people picking on him, and I told the teacher that Joe spit in his drink. People then tell Joe that i told the teacher about it. I told because I thought it was totally out-of-line, and just plain mean. Joe then got on iChat later today and said all this bullshit about how I was a rat and stuff. Joe is very strong, and I'm not exactly Mr. Brawn, and I'm afraid to go to school tomorrow. What are your thoughts on what I should do, and if I should have told on Joe?
Thanks

[DekuDekuplex]

Originally Posted by Gropin'GL

Ok. 13 year old here, with a big dilemma, I just want to know what you all think of this. So there's this kid at my school, lets call him Bob. Bob is a big pain in the ass and is in all of my classes. People tease and make fun at Bob, and I admit I do make the occasional jab if he gets on my last nerve. But today, at our lunch period, a particular bully who picks on Bob, lets call him Joe, takes his drink away from him. Bob tries to get it back, but rips Joes shirt in the process, presumably on accident. He also smears jelly from his sandwich on his back because Joe was being an idiot. Joe then takes his drink and spits a loogy in it. I only found out about this after Bob had already drank it and felt really bad. Later in my english class, Bob started crying because of people picking on him, and I told the teacher that Joe spit in his drink. People then tell Joe that i told the teacher about it. I told because I thought it was totally out-of-line, and just plain mean. Joe then got on iChat later today and said all this bullshit about how I was a rat and stuff. Joe is very strong, and I'm not exactly Mr. Brawn, and I'm afraid to go to school tomorrow. What are your thoughts on what I should do, and if I should have told on Joe?
Thanks

I think that you did the Right Thing™.

Tell the teacher and the school principal, and, if possible, have somebody strong sit next to you in class.

If you're up to it, come up with a way to videotape Joe doing something wrong, and present it to the school principal. If I were you, I'd set up a video recorder in a hidden location, get Joe to start picking on you and to say something indecent, then get the strong guy to chase Joe away, and then present the videotape to the principal and the PTA.

That would teach 'im!

-- DekuDekuplex

[Gropin'GL]

Thanks for the encouragement. I think the teacher already told the vice-principal (the one in charge of discipline), but I have free seating in lots of classes and will try to avoid him as most as possible. His locker is right next to mine however... And it is a tight-knit school, only 54 kids in the 7th grade (my grade), so hard not to bump into people like thrice a day. But I have my friends support, and the forums support!

[volcano]

Don't worry about it. You did the right thing.

Just make your teacher(s) are aware of the fact that "Joe" knows you're the one who told on him, and that you would appreciate it if they would keep an eye on him so he doesn't do anything irrational or crazy.

[volcano]

Originally Posted by Gropin'GL

[...] And it is a tight-knit school, only 54 kids in the 7th grade (my grade) [...]

My god! Quite small. My graduating class had over 700. Coincidentally, I was talking to maybe 2 of that 700 by the time I graduated But I don't regret it.

[tooki]

You did the right thing. I got picked on all the time as a kid, and I wish more folks had stood up for me. The bullies need to be kept in line (and then someone needs to take them aside and figure out what's causing them to be a bully).

tooki

[Gropin'GL]

Thanks for all the additional support! I'm feeling a lot better now! And I feel important - tooki posted in my thread. Good idea about telling the teachers also. It's a private school, so it is pretty small! Again, everyone, thanks.
****
FYI, I'm also ApplCmptrDood just so people know...

[mduell]

Do you have a cell phone? If Joe touches you, call the po-lice (I'm sure campus administration will try to downplay it and avoid the cops).

[Big Mac]

Incidentally, the main social reject in my middle school was actually a guy named Bob. Middle school stinks in many respects, and at least for me, 7th grade was the worst grade. This is really something to talk with your dad about, GL, but my advice is to try to forget about it and just go about your business. Your perspective is very different because of your youth, but remember that this "Joe" is merely another kid your age who in actuality isn't that tough at all. Turn on the privacy setting in AIM and take him off your list if he continues to talk trash. And then just do your best to ignore him and the matter. Kids have short attention spans anyway; the school will likely forget about the matter soon enough. However, if he starts taunting you, it's important not to show signs of being frightened by it. Stand your ground as much as possible. There are things in life that are constants - there will always be jerks of various stripes, and it's important to know how to handle them. Oh, and if he goes to fight with you, fight as hard as you can immediately in order to surprise him and to get in the best blows before teachers quickly intervene.

[brapper]

Good for you. Get big and beat that bully up.

[Doofy]

You did the right thing.

If this Joe geezer starts on at you, stand up to him. Really get in his face. Bullies work on fear and their perceived reputation. Take that away from them and they're nothing.

I had an encounter with a bully at high school - he was the year above me and "the hardest, maddest guy in the school". Anyways, one day he decided that it was my turn for punishment so got in my face. Unthinking, I stood there and pushed/poked him whilst telling him to "f off". He just sort of walked off, shocked that anyone would resist him. The guy never bothered me again (and by all accounts, stopped bothering other folks too, since I'd done this poking/pushing business in front of half the school). YMMV.

[Gropin'GL]

No I don't have a cell phone, but I'm probably going to get one, as I said in my other thread (which cell phone to get?). I will talk to my dad about it, but yesterday wasn't really the right time... If he comes close to me, I'll just give him an uppercut in the nuts (i've done it before to people who piss me off.)

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Gropin'GL

If he comes close to me, I'll just give him an uppercut in the nuts

Sounds like you might want to get a little taller before you resort to physical force.

[wdlove]

I think that you did the right thing. I was a victim of bullying, it hurts. Bullies like Joe need to be stopped, they only understand force. I hope that you might show kindness and support to Bob.

Good for you. Bullies only prosper when everyone around them is too chicken-sh*t to grow a pair.

If Joe calls you a rat, so what? Better a rat than an a$$hole.

[IceEnclosure]

Originally Posted by BlueSky

Sounds like you might want to get a little taller before you resort to physical force.

I'm with the "avoid a fight if possible" crowd, but if necessary, give him a piece of your tightest fist.

[sek929]

If he is way larger than you I think a swift kick in the nuts would not be frowned apon (only as self-defense of course, no matter what, a sucker-kick in the balls is never appropriate)

[Gropin'GL]

I know that. I should've stated that I would only do it for self-defense, not for fun.

[pooka]

Avoid any sort of physical confrontation if possible. Kindly remind Joe that he's starting to irritate you. When you get irritated you get careless. When you get careless you forget to use protection. When you forget to use protection, well, **** happens and Joe's mom winds up pregnant. If eveyone stays cool the drama can be avoided.

[RobOnTheCape]

It's funny. We can all look back and remember how tough it was to be a young teen. But looking back how simple the solution was. I had a bully from the sixth grade tear into me. After school we had at it with a huge crowd around us. I was scared to death, but a friend told me that if I didn't fight this kid, then my friend would pound on me. I went ballistic on the kid, won, and never had to worry about the tough guys again.

Win or lose though, I think going crazy and showing you're not going to be picked on, the bully looks for easier pickings, and their will be plenty. Saying this now that I'm 44 is easy, but when you're looking at it from a teen perspective I know it's much harder. Know that the other kid is just that, and given that you show him no fear, and will go off on him, he will move on.

It's nice to say just ignore bullies, but reality sets in, and living with them through teen years is just unneccessary.

[aberdeenwriter]

Originally Posted by Gropin'GL

Ok. 13 year old here, with a big dilemma, I just want to know what you all think of this. So there's this kid at my school, lets call him Bob. Bob is a big pain in the ass and is in all of my classes. People tease and make fun at Bob, and I admit I do make the occasional jab if he gets on my last nerve. But today, at our lunch period, a particular bully who picks on Bob, lets call him Joe, takes his drink away from him. Bob tries to get it back, but rips Joes shirt in the process, presumably on accident. He also smears jelly from his sandwich on his back because Joe was being an idiot. Joe then takes his drink and spits a loogy in it. I only found out about this after Bob had already drank it and felt really bad. Later in my english class, Bob started crying because of people picking on him, and I told the teacher that Joe spit in his drink. People then tell Joe that i told the teacher about it. I told because I thought it was totally out-of-line, and just plain mean. Joe then got on iChat later today and said all this bullshit about how I was a rat and stuff. Joe is very strong, and I'm not exactly Mr. Brawn, and I'm afraid to go to school tomorrow. What are your thoughts on what I should do, and if I should have told on Joe?
Thanks

Many years ago I was hot for this chick but she was tired of me but couldn't bear to tell me in person to stop calling, coming by or anything. But I didn't know this at the time. So one day after work I got a call. It was an old guy, he sounded like a mafia hit man to me. Not angry or threatening or panicky at all. Just cool and matter of fact. Deep gravelly voice. Like a guy well accustomed to hurting people, or worse.

He said, "look outside your front door toward the corner."

I walked to the front door and looked toward the corner. I didn't know what I was looking for. I saw nothing unusual.

He said, "don't bother Sheryl again. Unnerstand?"

Then he hung up.

I never bothered Sheryl again.

[Kevin]

Tell your teachers you need to learn to make paragraph breaks.

[meelk]

if he goes for you, kick him in the damn nuts. hard. then slam an elbow into his face. theres only one way to not be a victim after youve been targeted as one, and thats to send a very clear message. telling people in positions to help you (which is optimal) wont do any good when you are trapped in a small hallway or room with someone who wants to hurt you.
hurt him. badly, and first.

[SamuraiDL]

If bob is the jerk you make him out to be, then you should sucker punch him. Normally sucker punching is a bad move, and will make you seem like a wuss. But if bob sucks, then sucker punch him. The truth is, your only 13, none of this will matter by the time your a freshman in high-school. Cause when you get there your ALL gonna get made fun of. Thats when the **** starts. By the time you graduate you will no longer get **** from other students, but instead from your parents. Go to collage and get a std from some girl your second semester. Dont go to collage, get a job making 9 dollars an hour living in your parents attic. Get married, and either way your wife will leave you when your 56, for an other woman, and youll be forced to pay her alimony, because even though your kids are old enough to support themselves, your wife, or ex wife, has become accustomed to such a way of life you need to keep her happy. Youll hang out with your son and wish you could sleep with his hot older girlfriend. Your daughter will move back home because shes incapable of holding a job for more than 6 months. But relax, you can still play golf 4 times a week with 3 other guys with the exact same problems, because in hell no ones alone. HAHAHAHA!!!! so did you do the right thing? I dont know.

[Stogieman]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Tell your teachers you need to learn to make paragraph breaks.

You can't read 8 lines of text without taking a break? Man, are you out of shape.

[ApplCmptrDood]

har har har kevin. I wrote this when i was really pissed off. besides, as the poster before me said, it's only eight lines. (this is GropinGL - diff name)

[aberdeenwriter]

Originally Posted by Stogieman

You can't read 8 lines of text without taking a break? Man, are you out of shape.

(It's 11 lines, technically.)

Just why do paragraphs exist in literature...and comic books?

If the point is to be read then do what you can to make it pleasing to the eye.

Visual density deters readership. A good amount of white space is more visually inviting to the eye.

An unbroken mass of type is like a jungle. If you stop for a second you have to retrace your steps from the beginning. Talk about 'ugh!'

And while we're at it, there are also studies that say that white print on a dark background is harder to read than black letters on a light colored page.

Also, ALL CAPS IS HARDER TO READ THAN Caps and lower case.

[aberdeenwriter]

Originally Posted by Stogieman

You can't read 8 lines of text without taking a break? Man, are you out of shape.

(It's 11 lines, technically.) Just why do paragraphs exist in literature...and comic books? If the point is to be read then do what you can to make it pleasing to the eye. Visual density deters readership. A good amount of white space is more visually inviting to the eye. An unbroken mass of type is like a jungle. If you stop for a second you have to retrace your steps from the beginning. Talk about 'ugh!' And while we're at it, there are also studies that say that white print on a dark background is harder to read than black letters on a light colored page. Also, ALL CAPS IS HARDER TO READ THAN Caps and lower case.

[aberdeenwriter]

Originally Posted by ApplCmptrDood

har har har kevin. I wrote this when i was really pissed off. besides, as the poster before me said, it's only eight lines. (this is GropinGL - diff name)

So, you ARE going to keep us posted on the matter of Joe/Bob, right?

Any news? What have you done or not done or thought or anything?

[Cody Dawg]

Do what I would do for my kid: Have your parents get their lawyer to give the school principal and then the superintendant of the school district a telephone call.

Otherwise, or secondly, see the school counselor and ask for help. School counselors can sometimes do a lot.

[Cody Dawg]

Anyway, here is a story about a poor kid that was murdered, probably by a classmate, on the way home simply because he was different, also.

[itistoday]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Do what I would do for my kid: Have your parents get their lawyer to give the school principal and then the superintendant of the school district a telephone call.

That's really silly and completely unnecessary.

Gropin'GL:

Here's something I learned about school: These kinds of problems, are best solved on your own. Do not ask a teacher or parent to step in and help in these kinds of situations unless there's a chance that something really bad (think knives/bullets) could happen.

You go through school dealing with bullshit. You will have to deal with the bullshit bad teachers give you, and the bullshit your classmates give you. Eventually, you will learn how to act in such a manner that simply minimizes the chances that these kinds of events occur. Same thing goes for this Bob fellow. His personality causes him to behave in such a manner that causes people to tease him. If a teacher steps in and punishes those that tease him absolutely nothing good will come of it. Bob will "learn" that his behavior is perfectly fine and that he can hide behind other people while they do his battles for him, he will not see that his personality needs to be amended. The other children that get scolded will only temporarily stop making fun of him, and will grow to hate him more. As soon as the teacher's back is turned they'll continue to bully him, probably even harder.

Joe needs to be taught a lesson, but not by having a teacher scolding him. You must realize that Joe is very similar to Bob, both of them have personality issues, and Joe's issue is that he needs to learn tolerance. This is something that many people need to learn, not just Joe, this problem affects most of the adult population as well. Tolerance is very hard to learn, and that's why it affects so many people. The best way of learning tolerance is for the person to see contradictions in their view point, and in this kind of situation, it would help Joe a lot if his ass got kicked, that way he'd learn what it feels like to be picked on, and he'll develop a stigma to picking on other people.

Good luck.

[sek929]

Originally Posted by itistoday

That's really silly and completely unnecessary.
.

Indeed, maybe his parents can't even afford <gasp> a lawyer and he could deal with problems himself, making him a strong individual able to stand without his mommy.

A lawyer? Jesus, when did this country start treating children like commodities and less like people?

[Corpse of Chewbacca]

I've long thought it interesting that school administrators punish bullies who do beat up kids with detention when in the "real world" they would go to jail.

It is my personal opinion that if ever my kid comes home with a black eye I will call the cops and have the other kid arrested. If nothing else it'll give him the scare of his life to have the juvenille officers arrest him, bring him to jail for an hour or so and have his parents drive him home.

I volunteered as a Law Enforcement Explorer for four years and I had a lot of first hand experience with juvy cases.

[Corpse of Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Do what I would do for my kid: Have your parents get their lawyer to give the school principal and then the superintendant of the school district a telephone call.

I agree with this, but would go one step further. Call the police and have them go into school, during class, and arrest the kid.

[itistoday]

Originally Posted by Corpse of Chewbacca

I agree with this, but would go one step further. Call the police and have them go into school, during class, and arrest the kid.

Please tell me this is sarcasm.

Edit: After reading your other post I don't think it is. Where do you people come from? Is there some neanderthal cave out there from which you originate? Arrest the kid for spitting in another kid's drink??? Do you have any idea how damaging that would be?

[Corpse of Chewbacca]

Originally Posted by itistoday

Please tell me this is sarcasm.

Absolutely not. If akid committed a crime and a serious one at that- causing bodily harm to another human being- he deserves to be taught a lesson he won't soon ever forget.

Sitting him down and asking, "That wasn't nice, beating that boy, was it?" won't get you ANYWHERE.

[sek929]

Police!!??

In some extreme cases I could see, but if your boy gets punched in the face by a bully teach him how to defend himself, maybe a few boxing moves (how to hold his fists and such, how to tighten up your stomach to take a blow) and next time when the bully tries something he throws a few solid punches at the bullies face and *poof* problem f**king solved, confidence gained.

Unless young boys really look forward to their parents taking care of all their troubles for them.

[itistoday]

Originally Posted by Corpse of Chewbacca

Absolutely not. If akid committed a crime and a serious one at that- causing bodily harm to another human being- he deserves to be taught a lesson he won't soon ever forget.

He spat in the kid's drink. There was no punching.

Sitting him down and asking, "That wasn't nice, beating that boy, was it?" won't get you ANYWHERE.

I agree, but neither will arresting a 13 year old. They are not adults, and their minds are very different from those of adults (this is a fact). You arrest 13 year olds if they shoot or stab someone, not for spitting in other people's drinks or even throwing punches. The punishment must fit the crime, and arresting a 13 year old would cause serious mental changes in a child, usually for the worse. It makes them feel completely isolated from society, makes them feel as though they are a real criminal, and makes them hate society. You could end up with a kid that either commits suicide later on, or a real criminal. If they are a real criminal, i.e. if they really did kill someone, then they really do need to be treated as such, otherwise that kind of punishment only damages the child.

[Cody Dawg]

itistoday said
it would help Joe a lot if his ass got kicked, that way he'd learn what it feels like to be picked on, and he'll develop a stigma to picking on other people.

In THEORY it's good for "Joe to get his ass kicked" BUT THAT IS TERRIBLE ADVICE TO GIVE.

So, you're saying "I'm telling you not to hit people," but hitting them at the same time?

WTF?

No, it's NOT okay that you tell some kid to go beat up another kid!



Here where I live that could put him in jail for quite a long time if the other kid gets hurt.

Not only that, you're presumably an ADULT and you're telling a kid to go out and get violent? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Especially because, if someone - even the kid posting here - gets hurt and gets hurt badly YOU are not going to be the one dealing with the consequences...he will.

And he may end up seriously hurt, dead, or even in jail.

No, it is NOT okay for him to go out and get violent. Let the legal system "get violent" with him or let the school deal with it.

[Corpse of Chewbacca]

Punishment is not being arrested. You are arrested when you do something which violates another person's rights. Being touched by someone else, threatened, stalked, etc are all criminal acts that, IMO, will cause you to be arrested.

Punishment will come from a judge. It teaches kids a lesson REALLY quick.

[Cody Dawg]

Oh, and you're saying, "It's not okay to arrest a 13-year old," but you're telling a 13-year old to go out and "kick another 13-year old's ass?"



Kid, whoever you are, DO NOT listen to "itistoday."

Seriously, call the cops, talk to a priest or rabbi or minister of your church, talk to a school counselor, even the school principal, and best of all would be for you to find out who the superintendant of your entire school district is and call him or her directly and let him or her know what is going on.

If you really want to stir things up, call and email the editor of your local newspaper and tell them what is going on. Might even end up in the news.

Good luck.

[sek929]

Its not telling him to go beat the bully up, it is telling him to stand up for himself, which, yes involves punching, but its ok since young men can heal quickly from a few bruises.

[itistoday]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

In THEORY it's good for "Joe to get his ass kicked" BUT THAT IS TERRIBLE ADVICE TO GIVE.

So, you're saying "I'm telling you not to hit people," but hitting them at the same time?

WTF?

No, it's NOT okay that you tell some kid to go beat up another kid!



Here where I live that could put him in jail for quite a long time if the other kid gets hurt.

Not only that, you're presumably an ADULT and you're telling a kid to go out and get violent? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Especially because, if someone - even the kid posting here - gets hurt and gets hurt badly YOU are not going to be the one dealing with the consequences...he will.

And he may end up seriously hurt, dead, or even in jail.

No, it is NOT okay for him to go out and get violent. Let the legal system "get violent" with him or let the school deal with it.

Cody Dawg, I'd like you to chill out. You are what I'd call, "a psychotic mother". Though this is a bit off topic, please understand that the overprotection that you advocate severely damages the child you overprotect. You create a very weak human being, one that does not understand other humans and human relations, one that is prone towards hatred, racism, and generalization.

There was no contradiction in my advice. Bullying is very bad. It would help the bully learn the error of his ways if when bullying someone, he got his ass handed to him. Please understand, perhaps I didn't make it clear: I'm not advocating that Gropin'GL go and fight this bully, because that would be bullying. What I'm saying is that while Joe bullies someone, he should be punished. The punishment can even come from a teacher, but it must be both the right kind of punishment (i.e. no police or lawyers), and he must be caught in the act.

To understand why this works it would help you to have taken psychology. It's basic conditioning. If Joe is punished a day later because Gropin'GL told on him, he will not learn the right lesson. He will learn this instead: "Damn, why am I being called down to the principals office? I hope it's not because someone told on me. They did?? Boy when I find out who told on me they're going to pay!"

We don't want that. What we want is for Joe to feel this: "Wow, I really hurt his feelings, I see now that what I did was wrong."

Cody, please understand also that I have a lot of experience dealing with these kinds of situations, I am younger than you so this is fresher in my mind (but older than Gropin'GL), and I am not a psychotic soccer mom whose view of the world is a skewed fantasy land because she grew up living a privileged life, protected from reality by her parents.

[meelk]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

Oh, and you're saying, "It's not okay to arrest a 13-year old," but you're telling a 13-year old to go out and "kick another 13-year old's ass?"



Kid, whoever you are, DO NOT listen to "itistoday."

Seriously, call the cops, talk to a priest or rabbi or minister of your church, talk to a school counselor, even the school principal, and best of all would be for you to find out who the superintendant of your entire school district is and call him or her directly and let him or her know what is going on.

If you really want to stir things up, call and email the editor of your local newspaper and tell them what is going on. Might even end up in the news.

Good luck.

ahahahaha. no. Cody have you EVER been in a fight, or even a situation that might lead to one? Calling your priest isnt going to do **** for your when someone is pushing your face in the dirt. You live in fantasy land, dont you?

[itistoday]

Originally Posted by meelk

Cody have you EVER been in a fight, or even a situation that might lead to one? Calling your priest isnt going to do **** for your when someone is pushing your face in the dirt. You live in fantasy land, dont you?

Glad someone else sees that.
Cody, don't get blinded with hate and anger at my statements, instead, consider the possibility that it just might be true.

[Albert Pujols]

Old people are so out of touch with middle school life. I say, it's ok to hit Joe.. just as long as you can run faster than him. Seriously though, ignore Joe and pretend that he doesn't exist. If he confronts you, depending on how rational he is, either shrug your shoulders or simply explain to him why he's a moron.

I wasn't really bullied in school. But in middle school some kid made fun of my nickname.. he kept teasing me knowing that I was just going to look the other way. Until one day I got sick of it and I told him I'd beat the crap out of him if he says anything to me again. He was damn scared considering I was twice his size.

[meelk]

Originally Posted by itistoday

Glad someone else sees that.
Cody, don't get blinded with hate and anger at my statements, instead, consider the possibility that it just might be true.

wow, I didnt realize you had used the term "fantasy land" too. haha, funny because its true!

[dreamryche]

I'm with itistoday and meelk here. I was bullied back in the day and I was guarded as Cody Dawg describes. I wish that I had learned earlier to stand up for myself and kick some ass when push comes to shove. To the OP: What this boils down to is respect. If you go and call the cops or otherwise defer to authority, you lose respect and you open yourself up to a world of hurt and ridicule. If the punk starts something with you, use your fists to finish it. Just DO NOT instigate. Let him take the first shot, then give him all you've got. Even if he gets the best of you, you'll gain respect. Once the punks respect you, they'll lay off, lest they get their asses pounded.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Stogieman

You can't read 8 lines of text without taking a break? Man, are you out of shape.

I keep my browser opened page sized. It's 17 lines of text here.

And people, it was a joke.

remove teh twisted panties.