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Dakar the Fourth · 08:42 AM

Somehow, I knew this happened in Britain.
I guess you guys really love reporting your inane stories.

Teenager finds baby bat in her bra

Abbie Hawkins, a hotel receptionist, thought her mobile phone was ringing when she felt vibrations coming from her clothes. But she later discovered the tiny creature tucked away in the padded pocket of her underwear.

As staff and colleagues crowded around, Miss Hawkins, 19, produced the frightened bat, which was the size of her hand.

She said: "Once I realised it was a bat I was shocked, but then I felt quite sorry for it really. It looked very snug in there and I thought how mean I was for disturbing it."

Miss Hawkins said she got dressed at 7.30am and arrived for work at the Holiday Inn Norwich North, near Norwich International Airport without noticing anything unusual. "When I was driving to work I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket," she said.

It was not until her lunch break, at midday when she felt a strange movement inside her bra, which had been hanging on her washing line the previous night. "I plucked up the courage to investigate and I pulled out a little baby bat. I just lost my breath when I saw it and I did not know what it was at first," she said.

Edit: Forgot the fantastic image

turtle777 · Jul 9, 2008, 08:49 AM

How could she not notice before ?

I guess that's what happens when you wear oversized bras.

-t

Tiresias · Jul 9, 2008, 09:00 AM

That bat is sooooo fake.

design219 · Jul 9, 2008, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by Tiresias

That bat is sooooo fake.

Yes, I don't think a photojournalist was on the scene. They should have said something about that photo being an illustration, but hey, it's pretty lame for "journalism" in the first place.

turtle777 · Jul 9, 2008, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by Tiresias

That bat is sooooo fake.

Now that you mention it, yes, it looks like plastic.

Anyways, I call shenanigans.

-t

Railroader · Jul 9, 2008, 11:35 AM

Originally Posted by turtle777

Now that you mention it, yes, it looks like plastic.

Anyways, I call shenanigans.

-t

Laminar · Jul 9, 2008, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by turtle777

Now that you mention it, yes, it looks like plastic.

Yes, it's impossible that a photo was staged to go along with the article. I thought that could be assumed...

turtle777 · Jul 9, 2008, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by Laminar

Yes, it's impossible that a photo was staged to go along with the article. I thought that could be assumed...

No, it can't. I don't expect staged pictures in newspapers.

However, I might just have high standards, since I'm not reading just any crappy printed toilet paper...

-t

nonhuman · Jul 9, 2008, 02:23 PM

I thought this was going to be a story about Bat Boy and teenage love.

turtle777 · Jul 9, 2008, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

I thought this was going to be a story about Bat Boy and teenage love.

Who said that bat isn't a boy

-t

Dakar the Fourth · Jul 9, 2008, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

I thought this was going to be a story about Bat Boy and teenage love.

My clever ruse succeeded.

nonhuman · Jul 9, 2008, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth

My clever ruse succeeded.

Well, it was a ruse at any rate.

osiris · Jul 9, 2008, 03:28 PM

Comedy is not pretty.

mattyb · Jul 9, 2008, 03:36 PM

She's from fcukin Norwich, what do you expect ?

http://uk.youtube.com/results?search...rch_type=&aq=f

d4nth3m4n · Jul 9, 2008, 03:43 PM

i came expecting a thread about a tabloid story of the adolescent exploits of bat boy.

i left unfulfilled.

Randman · Jul 9, 2008, 04:49 PM

mattyb · Jul 9, 2008, 04:54 PM

Bloody hell ! Surprised the bat didn't suffocate.

Uncle Doof · Jul 9, 2008, 04:59 PM

Doof's Lore #248: Never trust a woman whose boobies are larger than her head.

Randman · Jul 9, 2008, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Uncle Doof

Randman's Lore #247: Always try and date/shag a woman whose boobies are larger than her head.

Fixed™

Laminar · Jul 9, 2008, 05:10 PM

Wait a minute....THAT BAT LOOKS PLASTIC! I'VE BEEN DUPED!!

::maroma:: · Jul 9, 2008, 05:16 PM

For some reason I have the urge to be a plastic bat right about now.

Wait a second... could this viral marketing for The Dark Knight?

Railroader · Jul 9, 2008, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar the Fourth

My clever ruse succeeded.

Randal: I don't appreciate your ruse... [/semi obscure movie reference]

olePigeon · Jul 9, 2008, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by Laminar

Wait a minute....THAT BAT LOOKS PLASTIC! I'VE BEEN DUPED!!

I'm pretty sure those are real. Wait, did you say bat?

(I think the photographer just wanted to take picture of large knockers.)

Railroader · Jul 9, 2008, 05:42 PM

I'm a little disappointed that Dakar didn't post the second pic along with the article. tsk tsk tsk...

Randman · Jul 9, 2008, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by Railroader

I'm a little disappointed that Dakar didn't post the second pic along with the article. tsk tsk tsk...

Yes, thanks goodness for Randman!!

Railroader · Jul 9, 2008, 06:43 PM

Indeed.

Tiresias · Jul 9, 2008, 11:58 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

i came expecting a thread about a tabloid story of the adolescent exploits of bat boy.

i left unfulfilled.

Me too.

Oisín · Jul 10, 2008, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

I thought this was going to be a story about Bat Boy and teenage love.

I somehow managed to think it would be about GoRICKY’s second kid being born.

Xoote · Jul 10, 2008, 03:53 PM

thats so fake

Laminar · Jul 10, 2008, 06:17 PM

Wait...do you think that bat looks plastic, too? I'm suspicious.

Arkham_c · Jul 10, 2008, 06:47 PM

Oisín · Jul 10, 2008, 06:54 PM

Wow.

That girl has enormous areolae.

Randman · Jul 10, 2008, 07:02 PM

ENORMOUS everything you mean.

sek929 · Jul 10, 2008, 07:10 PM

How many pictures were necessary to take in a story like this?

olePigeon · Jul 10, 2008, 07:19 PM

Originally Posted by sek929

How many pictures were necessary to take in a story like this?

I could stand to see a few more.

turtle777 · Jul 10, 2008, 07:22 PM

That's not a bra, that's a carrying bag for melons

-t

sek929 · Jul 10, 2008, 07:24 PM

The underwire must be like 0 gauge.

d4nth3m4n · Jul 10, 2008, 07:54 PM

is her head undersized, or is it just me?

Tiresias · Jul 10, 2008, 08:23 PM

People in this thread are attracted to this woman? WTF? She's a complete dog. Honestly, I'd rather sleep with the bat.

turtle777 · Jul 10, 2008, 09:01 PM

Originally Posted by d4nth3m4n

is her head undersized, or is it just me?

I think something else is oversized...

Just can't put my hands on it...

-t

d4nth3m4n · Jul 10, 2008, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by turtle777

I think something else is oversized...

Just can't put my hands on it...

-t

her arms and shoulders?

sign me the **** up.

subego · 08:16 AM

The faux startled look doesn't work for her.

What say everyone, 34F?

Edit: I'm pretty sure that's 34E in UK sizes.

Railroader · Jul 11, 2008, 10:00 AM

Looks like a 34 DD to me.

If her hair wasn't so glued to her head making it look disproportionately small she would look a lot better.

(That comment does NOT make me look gay!)

(Does it?)

Tiresias · Jul 11, 2008, 10:11 AM

Better?

What the hell is wrong with you people?

I repeat: I'd rather fuçk the bat.

Railroader · Jul 11, 2008, 10:19 AM

So, you'd rather have sexual relations with an animal than a human? And you are asking what is wrong with us?

Tiresias · Jul 11, 2008, 10:25 AM

A human is an animal. And everyone knows that some bats transform into sexy vampires.

Sayf-Allah · Jul 11, 2008, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by subego

The faux startled look doesn't work for her.

What say everyone, 34F?

Edit: I'm pretty sure that's 34E in UK sizes.

34FF

http://www.thisisnottingham.co.uk/di...pNodeId=133951

subego · Jul 11, 2008, 10:34 AM

That's 34H in US sizes.

Off by two.

Laminar · Jul 11, 2008, 11:25 AM

She looks very very similar to a friend of mine. Except my friend has A-cups.

turtle777 · Jul 11, 2008, 11:34 AM

Originally Posted by Laminar

She looks very very similar to a friend of mine. Except my friend has A-cups.

Is your friend male ?

-t