[shifuimam]

If you don't know what Toll House Break 'N Bakes are, you lead a sheltered life. But, for those not in the know, here's a quick definition: frozen, premade cookie dough in a package, already scored to break apart (hence the name). Buy, freeze, remove when ready to bake, break apart, put on cookie sheet, wait half an hour, presto. Fresh cookies with no mess - they're great for little kids helping mommy bake.

Now. There's a company called Otis Spunkmeyer that makes a similar product, but sells to either industrial food companies that run cafeterias, or to fundraising programs for schools, churches, etc. You can buy the premade, preformed dough in buckets - same thing, where it has to be kept frozen.

So I come into work this morning, and there's this Otis Spunkmeyer bucket sitting on the conference table in my cube area. Turns out that this girl who sits across from me and is, shall we say, not from the United States and makes the occasional (highly entertaining) cultural faux pas as a result, has bought these cookies from some kid in her apartment complex.

She didn't realize that you have to bake the stupid things. So as I sit here, there is a bucket of raw cookie dough that has been sitting out for god knows how long (I can guarantee you she didn't freeze them when they were delivered), and is probably crawling with E. Coli, salmonella, and any other "fun" bacteria you can think of. She couldn't figure out why nobody was eating them.

It took me a good seven minutes or so to explain to her the concept of premade cookie dough that you toss in the oven for freshly-baked cookies, and she still didn't get it.

I could have made the recap of this a lot more entertaining, but it's Friday afternoon and my brain is fried. I just had to share that little anecdote about just how stupid people can be.

So. Share your stories, boys and girls. Who is the stupidest person you've ever come across? Doesn't have to be computer-related, as we've seen here today.

[Dakarʒ]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

If you don't know what Toll House Break 'N Bakes are, you lead a sheltered life.

I challenge that. I just don't give a damn about food.

[Rumor]

It isn't so much that she is stupid, more so than a cultural breakdown. As you said yourself, she isn't from the US. That doesn't make her stupid.

[Dakarʒ]

Do you need me to make you a sig Rumor?

[paul w]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

If you don't know what Toll House Break 'N Bakes are, you lead a sheltered life.

Sorry, but you lost me. I like baking actually.

[starman]

Originally Posted by Rumor 

It isn't so much that she is stupid, more so than a cultural breakdown. As you said yourself, she isn't from the US. That doesn't make her stupid.

I wonder what cultures bring in raw, unrefrigerated cookie dough to work.

Hell, I've known since birth that raw dough could be bad for you.

[besson3c]

I would like a sig Dakar3... Maybe one with an umbrella, some oatmeal, and maybe the Mr. Clean guy....

Thanks!

[Dakarʒ]

You're out of luck, I do them as a favor to posters I'm friendly with on here.

[Atheist]

Yeah... I don't quite get the correlation between cultural roots/background and not understanding the concept of raw cookie dough. The connection just isn't there. She just sounds a little intellectually challenged.

[abe]

Raw cookie dough is bad?

Somebody tell Ben or Jerry!

How Much Is Inside Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

By Kirk Anderson 11/4/04

How Much Is Inside Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

Cookie Dough Ice Cream is my second favorite flavor of ice cream, right after Rocky Road.

I'm not sure when it became accessible to the public, but I remember it first in the late '80s.

Before that, it was a military secret. Like the ARPANET.

Despite my great love for it, I am plagued by two questions: How much cookie dough is really in the ice cream, and is it really cookie dough?

I sought out to find the answers. I know this isn't as important as what the I.A.E.A. does, but I still needed to find out.

For this experiment, I used Ben & Jerry's brand of Cookie Dough Ice Cream. It was the first one I knew of and I'm willing to bet that's it's the best selling. I used a one pint carton.

If you look on the ingredients of Cookie Dough Ice Cream, "cookie dough" isn't listed. But there are many ingredients that you'd expect to find in cookie dough, like sugar, egg yolks, cocoa, and my favorite, carrageenan!

But look inside! Yummy chunks of raw cookie dough!

Cookie Dough Ice Cream is America's favorite ice cream that incorporates raw food.

The other two are:

Carrot Cucumber Ice Cream

and. . .


Sausage Link Ice Cream.

***

Continue reading or . . . Go read Everybody Pees

***

I had to figure out how to melt the ice cream to get to all the yummy cookie dough.

I first thought of setting the carton on a burner.

Then I thought better of it

Then I thought I'd put it directly into the oven.

I was afraid that this would interfere with a later step of my experiment.

Finally, I decided on putting the ice cream into a strainer and letting it melt into a glass bowl.

I tried to speed up the process by using a blow dryer. But it seemed to melt some of the chocolate and I wanted my cookies as choclatey as possible.

So I waited. After a half hour, not much of the ice cream had melted, but you could see more of the cookie dough emerging from its frozen coffin, like a Paleolithic mastadon thawing out of a 11,000 year slumber in an Arctic glacier.

I added the knives to lift the bottom of the strainer out of the pool of vanilla slop that was developing under it.

It became pretty obvious that this part of the experiment was going to take a while. So I sat down to watch "Mission:Impossible"

I had checked it out of the library and it seemed appropriate.

After one hour of thawing, more dough was surfacing, but it was still slow.

After two hours, there were several distinct chunks of cookie dough hanging out on the edges.

I was growing impatient.

I gave up the idea of collecting all of the melted cream and decided to "wash" off the rest. I used cold water to keep the chocolate from melting as it had with the blow dryer.

When I was done, I had about twenty separate chunks of "cookie dough" along with several spare pieces of chocolate and some gooey stuff.

It was at this point that I had the disturbing revelation that the chunks of "cookie dough" looked quite a bit like dog food. I suppose it was the shape.

I poured the rest of the creamy vanilla dross back into the carton from whence it came.

Then, I returned the carton to the freezer for the funny practical joke I call. "Honey do you want some Cookie Dough Ice Cream but you secretly don't know there's no cookie dough in it?"

Though it wasn't my prefered way of doing it, I mushed together the "cookie dough" chunks into two balls that I determined to be "cookie sized" and put them onto a cookie sheet.

They looked surprizingly good. Almost like actual cookies.

My wife, Sara, came home.

She made fun of me for wasting my time with this.

She also told me to preheat the oven. She suggested 350 degrees.

She knows a lot more about making cookies than I do.

I slid the "cookies" into the oven and hoped for the best.

After five minutes, I looked in on the boys.

They were looking pretty good. I was beginning to think I might get some cookies out of this.

As time progressed though, the "cookies" started looking more runny and less like cookies.

The picture to the right was taken at ten minutes. They look OK, but the bubbles on top were really thin. It looked like the whole glob was boiling.

I decided to pull them out of the oven. I let them cool for a few minutes.

Then I started to the task of scraping them off the cookie sheet.

They were crispy. Like something between a cookie and peanut brittle.

It's possible that I over-cooked them, but Sara said she thought that the dough probably didn't have any egg in it itself.

I took several bites of one of the cookies.

It wasn't very good. It probably would have been more useful as a throwing star.


Conclusion: So now we return to the first two questions:

How much cookie dough is really in Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

About two cookies worth.

Is it really cookie dough?

Only using the broadest definition of "cookie".

Red Yak - How Much Is Inside Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

[shifuimam]

Originally Posted by paul w 

Sorry, but you lost me. I like baking actually.

Haha - believe me, I do too. But when you have little kids who want to make cookies, it's much less of a headache to use premade dough. Same thing goes for when you live in an apartment with a small kitchen, are having people over, and want to have fresh cookies for them. It's just less mess, which can be really good for some situations.

I used to totally laugh at those who bought premade dough. Then I saw the light.

Originally Posted by abe 

Raw cookie dough is bad?

Somebody tell Ben or Jerry!

tl;dr

Raw cookie dough that has been sitting out for more than 24 hours is absolutely a bad idea. You've got milk, eggs, cream, etc. in there - all of which should not be left at room temperature, uncooked, for an extended period of time.

[besson3c]

Originally Posted by Dakarʒ 

You're out of luck, I do them as a favor to posters I'm friendly with on here.

Fine then, I don't want your stupid signature. You would probably screw it up anyway!

[MacosNerd]

there's raw cookie dough made from from scratch - left out will be oozing with germs
premade cookie dough left out long enough will be oozing with germs

"cookie dough" that is found in ice cream is not the same thing, and made to be eaten raw,i.e., no raw eggs in the dough.

[MacosNerd]

Originally Posted by besson3c 

Fine then, I don't want your stupid signature. You would probably screw it up anyway!

You seem a tad bitter

[Railroader]

Anyone else think this whole thread is ironic?

[CharlesS]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

I used to totally laugh at those who bought premade dough. Then I saw the light.

This just means your cookie recipe wasn't good enough. If you'd ever tried my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, you'd never want to touch that premade stuff again.

[abe]

Originally Posted by shifuimam 

Haha - believe me, I do too. But when you have little kids who want to make cookies, it's much less of a headache to use premade dough. Same thing goes for when you live in an apartment with a small kitchen, are having people over, and want to have fresh cookies for them. It's just less mess, which can be really good for some situations.

I used to totally laugh at those who bought premade dough. Then I saw the light.



Raw cookie dough that has been sitting out for more than 24 hours is absolutely a bad idea. You've got milk, eggs, cream, etc. in there - all of which should not be left at room temperature, uncooked, for an extended period of time.

So, in the interest of conservation and all, would it be ok to give it to the dog? I mean, they eat garbage as often as possible. And how often do you see them lying dead in the street unless they became traffic stats?

[abe]

Originally Posted by MacosNerd 

You seem a tad bitter

Who wouldn't be?

In fact, it wasn't even directed at me and I'm feeling pissed my DAMNED self!

[abe]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

Anyone else think this whole thread is ironic?

Not yet, but clue me in to your thoughts.

[invisibleX]

I think we need to draw the line between cooking and assembling food.

Making cookies is cooking.

Breaking pre-made cookie-dough and tossing it in the oven is assembly. Much like buying a desk and putting it together is not making a desk, merely assembling one.

[mindwaves]

Originally Posted by invisibleX 

I think we need to draw the line between cooking and assembling food.

Making cookies is cooking.

Breaking pre-made cookie-dough and tossing it in the oven is assembly. Much like buying a desk and putting it together is not making a desk, merely assembling one.

Except in cooking where it is called preparing and not assembling.

[shifuimam]

Oh I agree there's a difference between making real cookies and throwing premade ones on a cookie sheet. Both can be fun, though, depending on the reason for making them.

I do both. I have the best chocolate chip cookie recipe evar, and I make 'em from time to time. I only buy break 'n bakes when they're on clearance at Meijer.

[Rumor]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

Yeah... I don't quite get the correlation between cultural roots/background and not understanding the concept of raw cookie dough. The connection just isn't there. She just sounds a little intellectually challenged.

Depending on where someone is from, they may have never seen pre-made cookie dough and thought it was ready to eat, like many foods now days.

[Kevin]

That's just how women are.

[zro]

****. I woulda had some.

Unless it smelled.

[dcmacdaddy]

So, is this really stupidity on this woman's part or a rush to judgment on your part?

I think you already answered that question when you said that the woman is "not from the United States and makes the occasional (highly entertaining) cultural faux pas as a result". Methinks this act was a cultural faux pas and not an act of stupidity.

[Atheist]

As the OP stated:

It took me a good seven minutes or so to explain to her the concept of premade cookie dough that you toss in the oven for freshly-baked cookies, and she still didn't get it.

This has nothing to do with the co-worker's cultural background... and everything to do with the OP's prejudices.

[pooka]

Just because there is the possibility of cultural issues doesn't automatically mean the person isn't stupid. I personally think the person is stupid for sharing cookies when she could have kept them for herself.

[RAILhead]

Is this the thread about (potential) nipple piercings?

[Atheist]

Originally Posted by RAILhead 

Is this the thread about (potential) nipple piercings?

I hope so. Cookies and nipples go together so well.

[Mastrap]

There's a difference between being stupid and not getting something that's unfamiliar to you. Maybe you should try living in, say, Japan for a while and see how that goes.

[pooka]

Are you kidding? And have girls giggle with delight every time you walk by knowing that you have a giant penis? Stereotypes (even when they're so true) just suck.

[JohnM15141]

what?

I am having trouble following your double negatives here..?

I like japan!

Did you say japan is backwards?

Different?

Odd?

Not normal?

All the Japanese people I know are perfectly normal, I see no difference in their behavior, they don't seem odd to me...

wait...are you a racist?

This thread is so derailed!

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

There's a difference between being stupid and not getting something that's unfamiliar to you. Maybe you should try living in, say, Japan for a while and see how that goes.

[Mastrap]

^ What I was saying is that the OP should maybe think twice about calling somebody stupid who might simply not be familiar with North American products.

[Mastrap]

Originally Posted by pooka 

Are you kidding? And have girls giggle with delight every time you walk by knowing that you have a giant penis? Stereotypes (even when they're so true) just suck.

I'm 6'7". I leave it to your imagination what happens when I visit Japan or China.

[JohnM15141]

Crowds fleeing, Screaming in horror, attack you with Tamiya's finest model tanks and airplanes as you stomp tokyo?

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

I'm 6'7". I leave it to your imagination what happens when I visit Japan or China.

[Kevin]

And those calling the OP a racist or whatever are over-reacting/being a bit too sensitive.

[Andrew Stephens]

You know in the UK the name Otis Spunkmeyer goes off in a whole different direction.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

I'm 6'7". I leave it to your imagination what happens when I visit Japan or China.

[IceEnclosure]

There's ****ing directions and warnings I'm sure all over the "bucket". She's part retarded, part foreigner.

This may offend, but: A guy, whom we only know to be European (he asked a co-worker where the toilet was, in some form of Euro-ish accent) used the bathroom at my work. Later inspection showed that he had sprayed his dookie all over the stand up pisser, a pisser that doesn't have a door and is in the main part of the bathroom. Had someone gone in there during, omg they'd have seen him hunched over slightly dumping his movements all over the urinal cake. All this with an unoccupied sit-down shitter stall WITH a door, in the very same bathroom.

W-T-F

[IceEnclosure]

Oh, and this girl lives and works in America, surely it's not like me "going to Japan". I'd be lost looking at a bunch of Japanese writing all over food products. She can read English, I'm betting.

[Silky Voice of The Gorn]

Freshman year in college, I met a girl who didn't know how fried chicken was made.

[residentEvil]

GFS sells frozen ready to go too; layered by the case. Most the time, I don't cook the chocolate chip ones; grab right out of the freezer and eat them. Awesome!

[abe]

Originally Posted by IceEnclosure 

There's ****ing directions and warnings I'm sure all over the "bucket". She's part retarded, part foreigner.

This may offend, but: A guy, whom we only know to be European (he asked a co-worker where the toilet was, in some form of Euro-ish accent) used the bathroom at my work. Later inspection showed that he had sprayed his dookie all over the stand up pisser, a pisser that doesn't have a door and is in the main part of the bathroom. Had someone gone in there during, omg they'd have seen him hunched over slightly dumping his movements all over the urinal cake. All this with an unoccupied sit-down shitter stall WITH a door, in the very same bathroom.

W-T-F

When I was a tyke at some YMCA activity the staff member freaked out at another tyke for pissing in a kiddie sized drinking fountain.

I'm sure he didn't know that it wasn't a urinal.

I swear this is true.

And, no, it was not yours truly.

[Atheist]

Originally Posted by Kevin 

And those calling the OP a racist or whatever are over-reacting/being a bit too sensitive.

I would beg to differ. The OP could have told the story without ever mentioning the fact the woman was "shall we say, not from the United States". It has no relevance to the story except to imply that since she is a foreigner, she is somehow inferior.

[starman]

Originally Posted by Mastrap 

^ What I was saying is that the OP should maybe think twice about calling somebody stupid who might simply not be familiar with North American products.

Again, show me where eating crap left out for 24 hours so it can host all sorts of bacteria is considered normal.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by Atheist 

I would beg to differ. The OP could have told the story without ever mentioning the fact the woman was "shall we say, not from the United States". It has no relevance to the story except to imply that since she is a foreigner, she is somehow inferior.

Ok, lets just say it's of my opinion certain people are being over-sensitive.

Could you imagine a bunch of people in here reacting this way anytime anyone actually DOES bash or make fun of America/Americans?

[abe]

Originally Posted by starman 

Again, show me where eating crap left out for 24 hours so it can host all sorts of bacteria is considered normal.

I was getting in position to administer the SMACKDOWN until I read this...

In places like Chinatown, it's common to see cured cooked meats, like chicken and duck, hanging in the window of a restaurant. These aren't just decoration -- they're sold to customers -- and they're not refrigerated. Here in New York City, restaurant owners who allowed this would regularly be fined for violating health codes, despite the fact that fully cooked chicken is relatively sterile and inhospitable to airborne bacteria, and the meat is also cured in salt or soy sauce. However, now comes word that the city health commissioner has agreed to change the rules for Chinese restaurants so that they can keep their traditional displays without fines.

Once the rules are changed, restaurants will be able to display certain cured and cooked meats for up to four hours without the book being thrown at them... I'm glad to see a little bit of common sense when it comes to food in this country. Maybe with a little luck we'll be able to get unpasteurized raw-milk cheeses from Europe at some point...

Somethink to Chew On: February 2006

[abe]

Originally Posted by Kevin 

Ok, lets just say it's of my opinion certain people are being over-sensitive.

Could you imagine a bunch of people in here reacting this way anytime anyone actually DOES bash or make fun of America/Americans?

I agree!

Originally Posted by Rumor 

It isn't so much that she is stupid, more so than a cultural breakdown. As you said yourself, she isn't from the US. That doesn't make her stupid.

People bake things all over the world and have done so before the US even existed. I wish the original poster said where she was from.