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Why puking makes me feel better
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pooka
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Nov 18, 2007, 04:18 AM
 
Hear me out....

I rarely throw up from drinking. Don't get me wrong, I drink A LOT. Its one of the few admirable qualities that I possess. Most of the time I just consume large quantities of liquor, get sleepy and then retire for the evening. But on the rare occasion, things get dicey. The other night I was hanging out with a younger crew. College aged beer swillers. I normally don't have the patience, but what the ****. It's good to get out and see the latest trends in fashion and lame attempts to pick up chicks.

OT: What the **** is up with guys wearing tight black jeans with studded belts. I think I even saw a few tight rollers. It's not cool. At all. Stop.

Anyway, yeah, college kids... drinking beer and listening to shitty ska remakes of 80's songs. Awesome. So I quickly realize that I'm in absolute hell. Do I do the smart thing and pay $30 for a cab? Nah, I figure I'll drown my sorrow with glass after glass of something 80 proof. From here, things rapidly deteriorate.

I gotta admit, I wasn't feeling that great towards the end. Tummy was a little off and I could feel a twinge or two in the back of my throat. All in all, totally manageable. But then I found myself in the bathroom peeing. Bored, tired and irritated with myself. It was then that I decided that puking would make me feel much, much better.

Seriously, I didn't have to throw up. I've thrown up twice in the last 7 years. I **** you not when I say this time it was different. I've never tried to make myself throw up. It's actually kind of hard. I tried the finger trick and gagged myself a bit. It must have taken me 5 minutes just to produce a spittle of vomit. Holy **** though. Once I got started, I can't even describe what it must have looked like. Rent Team America if you really want an idea.

I know you're thinking "gross! great, you drank too much and puked in a bar bathroom."

It's not like that. I really, really enjoyed spraying vomit all over that bathroom. I got the toilet, the floor, a sink, two walls, a urinal and ended with some good coverage on the mirror. Oh, and somehow, I didn't get a drop on my clothes. It was a miracle. All I can say is that I felt fantastic as a result. Seriously, I must have laughed for 20 minutes. Physically, I felt like ****. Somehow, purging the contents of my stomach caused my bodies systems to start shutting down. It wasn't long before I was 90% incapacitated. Luckily, my antics caused my crew to assemble and prepare for departure. I'm not sure about everyone else, but I really had a great time and I'm REALLY looking forward to next weekend. Should be a blast.

Whew. I made myself cry a bit retelling that. Guess you had to be there. And be really drunk. Anyway. Any good alcohol + puke stories?

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nonhuman
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:12 AM
 
I once puked in a potted plant in the lobby of a hotel.

That's pretty much my best alcohol related puking story (I also don't often puke from drinking too much).
     
JoshuaZ
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:31 AM
 
I puked into a window well outside my dorm the morning after a night of heavy drinking. Good times.
     
Kevin
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:36 AM
 
I puked in a toilet a few times. I swear.
     
RAILhead
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:39 AM
 
I took a dump in the Empire State Building.
"Everything's so clear to me now: I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant. Get it? And he knows it.
That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it. Yeah. Before he let's loose the marmosets on us."
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Cipher13
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:46 AM
 
Gotta say, as much as I'd love to murder every guy that wears tight black jeans and studded belts, with pink shirts collar-up, I'd rather hang around with them than someone that thinks it's funny to vomit everywhere. Well, maybe not; I'd rather just kill myself, but the point remains.

On topic, and potentially inappropriate: a mate of mine swears the best sex he ever had was when the chick he was doing doggy-style started vomiting during the act.
     
Kevin
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:48 AM
 
Cipher well when you vomit your muscles tighten up. So that makes some sense.
     
nonhuman
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:48 AM
 
Originally Posted by Cipher13 View Post
On topic, and potentially inappropriate: a mate of mine swears the best sex he ever had was when the chick he was doing doggy-style started vomiting during the act.
I wouldn't be too surprised. Think of all the muscles that contract when you're vomiting.
     
Cipher13
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:50 AM
 
Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
Cipher well when you vomit your muscles tighten up. So that makes some sense.
Oh yeah, I don't doubt he's right. That's not to say I'd induce vomiting in a chick just for the hell of it.
     
Kevin
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:54 AM
 
Hey I bet her muscles would do stuff when she vomited.
     
vexborg
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:02 AM
 
I once woke in my bed up after a night out, and found that I had vomited on my pillow and behind my bed! Needless to say I must have been plastered not to remember that...

That was the last time I drank 10 pints of Guinness together with Tequila.
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Kevin
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:25 AM
 
Originally Posted by vexborg View Post
I once woke in my bed up after a night out, and found that I had vomited on my pillow and behind my bed! Needless to say I must have been plastered not to remember that...
That's a really bad thing. Many people have died that way. I can honestly say I've only been sick ONCE from drinking too much. Not that I can "handle my alcohol" I just never drink a lot at once. One night when I was 19 me and my GF, her best friend and my brother went out and bought some vodka.. anyhow I got sick at the end of the night. Was pretty freaking trashed. I used to get "buzzed" a lot to the point I was probably on the verge or close to becoming an alcoholic.

Then I "found" weed and stopped drinking all together. This was around my college years. I was 19-21. Me and my friends actually messed around with LSD at the time. It was easier to get than anything else for some reason. I could get a sheet (100 hits) for $70. Sell 15 make $5 and have 85 hits to ourselves.

I bought an amplifier that summer from LSD money.

Still have it.
     
wallinbl
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:54 AM
 
Woke up the first morning I spent in my college dorm to the sounds of a bunch of guys complaining about how someone had puked in the urinals and the whole place was a mess. Didn't realize it was me that had done it until I walked in there and the memory suddenly hit me. That was one of two times I've ever puked from drinking too much. The other time involved drinking too much Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. I could taste a hint of cherry on my breath for three days. I'll probably never touch that beer again.

Not puking, but peeing in the next one. Was at the local college dive for a few hours drinking. Had to pee pretty badly and went to get in the bathroom line. Came up to the toilet, unzipped and started peeing. After a few seconds, the guy behind me informs me that the toilet I'm pissing into doesn't have any plumbing - it's just being used as a door stop.
     
nonhuman
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Nov 18, 2007, 10:22 AM
 
Originally Posted by wallinbl View Post
Not puking, but peeing in the next one. Was at the local college dive for a few hours drinking. Had to pee pretty badly and went to get in the bathroom line. Came up to the toilet, unzipped and started peeing. After a few seconds, the guy behind me informs me that the toilet I'm pissing into doesn't have any plumbing - it's just being used as a door stop.
Nice.
     
SpaceMonkey
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Nov 18, 2007, 10:34 AM
 
Also not vomiting, but I've never really been able to burp, so a lot of the time after a night of heavy drinking I have to induce my gag reflex and go into sort of a dry heave to expel the gas. So it really does make me feel better.

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Kevin
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Nov 18, 2007, 11:38 AM
 
I've heard writers compare vomiting while intoxicating to having orgasms as well. The feeling of release. I don't see it. I hate puking.
     
BlueSky
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Nov 18, 2007, 12:20 PM
 
Age 12 or so, first time drunk, puked for hours. To this day the smell of Schnapps...<blerp>
     
abbaZaba
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Nov 18, 2007, 12:50 PM
 
I don't puke often at all either, but one time I got hammered and woke up the next morning feeling the worst I have ever felt.

took a shower, felt a little better. turned the shower off and started puking all over the shower stall. yellow bile ****, it was disgusting.

then I called my girlfriend who went to school in NYC and I told her I probably wasn't going to be able to visit her. she whined and I bucked up.

the 6 hour bus trip was hell. I felt like throwing up the entire time and the bus was filled to capacity. I went to the bus bathroom about 3 times and dry heaved in the toilet, which was splashing that blue **** around.

the entire bus ride I sat in my seat with my head between my legs. got to new york city and it was a shitty visit.

all in all a **** ass weekend, but that thursday night was pretty fun.
     
HackManDan
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Nov 18, 2007, 01:30 PM
 
Freshman year, a couple of guys and I thought it was a good idea to go to Mexico for Labor Day weekend, and sleep on the beach for a night. We drank most of a 1L bottle of tequila, and a six-pack of Corona. I puked all over the sand (and myself), and ended up sleeping right next to and probably on top off, the vomit-sand. Good times.
     
UNTeMac
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Nov 18, 2007, 01:41 PM
 
I've killed a patch of my neighbor's grass after being dropped off at 4 am. I was holding it in the whole ride home (worst feeling) and practically fell out of the car and spewed on the edge of his yard. I don't think he ever knew what happened.
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Meneldil
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Nov 18, 2007, 02:03 PM
 
I don't puke too much, and when I do I'm usually good about finding the toilet / bucket / outdoors. I have puked in a couple good places while wandering home from the bar, including in front of a guard between the Iranian and American consulates in Shanghai (they're across the street from one another; I bet that's going well ) and the Shanghai Public Security Bureau headquarters.

I think the most important lesson is that spicy food (in this case Thai papaya salad) should kept down at all costs - after 3 hours of digestion and way too much beer and vodka, my stomach had made no progress on the chilies.
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pooka  (op)
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Nov 18, 2007, 02:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by Cipher13 View Post
Gotta say, as much as I'd love to murder every guy that wears tight black jeans and studded belts, with pink shirts collar-up, I'd rather hang around with them than someone that thinks it's funny to vomit everywhere.
Point taken. I mean, girls have to find that crap kind of cute too or these guys wouldn't be doing it.

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pooka  (op)
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Nov 18, 2007, 02:10 PM
 
Chilies... uhg. Terrifying. Yeah, I left out the part of the story where I had been eating Mexican right before heading out.

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vexborg
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Nov 18, 2007, 02:21 PM
 
Originally Posted by Kevin View Post
That's a really bad thing. Many people have died that way...

Then I "found" weed and stopped drinking all together. This was around my college years. I was 19-21. Me and my friends actually messed around with LSD at the time. It was easier to get than anything else for some reason. I could get a sheet (100 hits) for $70. Sell 15 make $5 and have 85 hits to ourselves. .
Yep, I know - to be honest I've never gotten that drunk after that experience, that was just way to horrible.

I would rather prefer a good joint and a glass of whiskey.
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IceEnclosure
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Nov 18, 2007, 02:31 PM
 
I've thrown up a lot, a few were memorable, but I don't remember them too well.

Last time was at the M.I.A. concert about two weeks ago. Threw up a filet mignon and 5 vodka/tonics in the streets of Miami.

I smoked after dinner, and having drank some stiff beverages already, I probably shouldn't have. Drinking then smoking then drinking some more is usually bad for me.
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Peter
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Nov 18, 2007, 02:39 PM
 
Vomitting from booze? Who hasn't!
We used to play numerous drinking games with wine rather than spirits. Brutal.

I've since seen the light and stick to cocktails if i'm on a big night out. Mmm Mojitos.
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DeathToWindows
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Nov 18, 2007, 03:27 PM
 
I've never been drunk enough to vomit... just hasn't happened. Hell, I haven't vomited since 1997.

Don't try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
     
Uriel
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Nov 18, 2007, 03:42 PM
 
I'm a big fan of wine, yet I have actually never been drunk before. It ruins the enjoyment of the wine for me.

I know I'm the odd one out though.
     
RAILhead
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Nov 18, 2007, 06:09 PM
 
No one cares about my dump at the Empire State Building?

"Everything's so clear to me now: I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant. Get it? And he knows it.
That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it. Yeah. Before he let's loose the marmosets on us."
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Shaddim
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Nov 18, 2007, 06:44 PM
 
Originally Posted by RAILhead View Post
No one cares about my dump at the Empire State Building?

My buddy took a sh*t in a cab while in New York, is that close enough?

Damn, that was a harsh weekend, I barely remember the trip at all. It's just one huge blur.
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nonhuman
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Nov 18, 2007, 06:47 PM
 
Originally Posted by Shaddim View Post
My buddy took a sh*t in a cab while in New York, is that close enough?

Damn, that was a harsh weekend, I barely remember the trip at all. It's just one huge blur.
Ha, weekends in NY tend to be harsh. One weekend I broke off the key to my condo trying to get inside and ended up sleeping on a park bench in SoHo. I was so drunk that I was still blacked out when I woke up the next morning and when I came to I had already walked all the way to East Village. Man was that a fun night.

Oh yeah, and the reason I couldn't get into my condo and ended up breaking my key was that my condo is in Boston. I just consider myself lucky that I didn't get arrested breaking into someone's car because I walked past one that looked exactly like the car I was driving at the time and thankfully didn't decide to drive home in it...
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 07:43 PM
 
Originally Posted by RAILhead View Post
I took a dump in the Empire State Building.

In a bathroom, or someplace a little more dangerous such as an elevator?
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 07:48 PM
 
Originally Posted by RAILhead View Post
No one cares about my dump at the Empire State Building?


I care! I laughed at your story and wnat to know more about the ending. Don't leave us hanging like that!
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 07:50 PM
 
Originally Posted by Shaddim View Post
My buddy took a sh*t in a cab while in New York, is that close enough?

Damn, that was a harsh weekend, I barely remember the trip at all. It's just one huge blur.
No way! In his pants, or in the cab itself? What did the taxi driver say?
     
Spliffdaddy
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Nov 18, 2007, 07:53 PM
 
I have a story involving Waffle House, some killer weed, way too much to drink, and some paramedics.

Not sure you dolts are worthy of the details.
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:01 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy View Post
I have a story involving Waffle House, some killer weed, way too much to drink, and some paramedics.

Not sure you dolts are worthy of the details.

Is this the story you told us about that one time that involved the strippers and the paint thinner, or is that another one?
( Last edited by besson3c; Nov 18, 2007 at 08:12 PM. )
     
Shaddim
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:12 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
No way! In his pants, or in the cab itself? What did the taxi driver say?
From what I remember, he pulled down his shorts and did it off the edge of the seat. The cab was kinda smelly beforehand, and it was pretty late at night, so somehow the driver didn't notice. I was too mortified to react, I just sat on the far side of the back seat trying not to swear at him, nasty bastard.

I felt so bad I tipped the cabbie an extra $20, I guess he thought I was just a generous drunk.
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Paco500
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:16 PM
 
Originally Posted by Uriel View Post
I'm a big fan of wine, yet I have actually never been drunk before. It ruins the enjoyment of the wine for me.

I know I'm the odd one out though.
If you've never done it, how do you know it ruins the enjoyment?

I'm not a fan of getting drunk myself, I generally leave off at a healthy buzz, but at least I know this from experience.
     
Oisín
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:22 PM
 
Vomitting from booze? Who hasn't!
*raises hand*

Passed out immediately, once (moral of that story: if you’re five, don’t mix pure Mexican chili with grain alcohol, and if you have an older friend who’s told you that that horrible, burning red thing you just took a bite of was a sweet fruit, don’t believe him when he says he’ll give you a glass of water); but never vomited.
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:27 PM
 
Wow, it seems like everybody here has thrown up somewhere, gotten high in a Waffle house with some paint thinner and strippers, or pooped in a cab or the Empire State Building. All I've done is gotten high from Kikkoman soy sauce.

I feel like I don't fit in here. It's cool to not do all those things, right?
     
nonhuman
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:32 PM
 
Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy View Post
I have a story involving Waffle House, some killer weed, way too much to drink, and some paramedics.

Not sure you dolts are worthy of the details.
I thought you said White House at first. I was about to demand details just to know how it involved the paramedics and not the secret service.
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 08:32 PM
 
Truthfully, the one night I went too far was when I was working a cruise ship and was trying to impress this British dancer. She had a big birthday cake, so I tried to impress her by eating as much as possible. I think I ate about 30 pieces or so. I also drank a little too much, so I was feeling it in the morning.

I didn't score either, so it was really for nothing. Kind of a pathetic story.

It was pretty good cake though.
     
RAILhead
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:09 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
I care! I laughed at your story and wnat to know more about the ending. Don't leave us hanging like that!
I laid cable in the highest toilet in the building. Nothing fancy -- but I did get a little light-headed from pushing that hard so high up.
"Everything's so clear to me now: I'm the keeper of the cheese and you're the lemon merchant. Get it? And he knows it.
That's why he's gonna kill us. So we got to beat it. Yeah. Before he let's loose the marmosets on us."
my bandmy web sitemy guitar effectsmy photosfacebookbrightpoint
     
JoshuaZ
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:16 PM
 
To be honest I enjoy taking a nice large poo after a night fo heavy drinking. That makes me feel better than throwing up.

One of my older coworkers (american guy) was drinkign heavily at a BBQ, then followed it up by doing some very heavy drinking in a cramped karaoke room. Seems he threw up over a large portion of the place in front of about 12 other highly drunk foreigners. Then he went off and continued drinking at a bar. Made me think 'Thank god I'm not 33 and acting like a dick college student during spring break'.

Anyways, this is why I don't go to that karaoke place anymore. Event though it wasn't me, I still feel the shame!
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:16 PM
 
Originally Posted by RAILhead View Post
I laid cable in the highest toilet in the building. Nothing fancy -- but I did get a little light-headed from pushing that hard so high up.

That's awesome! Has anybody here pooped in the CN Tower?

Railhead: you've done some web development before, right? What do you think about a: http://www.towerpooping.com site to chronicle your journeys?
     
dlefebvre
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:26 PM
 
One time in Band Camp..
     
JoshuaZ
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by besson3c View Post
It was pretty good cake though.

The cake is a lie...
The cake is a lie...
The cake is a lie...
     
besson3c
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:43 PM
 
Here is what happens when typewriters get drunk:

     
Oisín
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Nov 18, 2007, 09:55 PM
 
Skidefuld og på rulleskøjter. Literally.
     
RobOnTheCape
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Nov 18, 2007, 10:52 PM
 
I was a sergeant in the Corps in 84, and I had never drunk red wine before that one night. After consuming a vast quantity of some Boones farms or some crap I woke up on my rack more sick than I think I had ever been before. I had a room at the end of a wing of a barrack, and the urge to purge hit me hard. I ran as fast as I could down the hall, turned the corner hard and was up to the swinging door of the head when it all let loose. As I pushed the door open that vile concoction of red wine and cheetos took on a life of its own and came gushing forth - unfortunately all over a fresh private just out of boot. I don't think a drop landed on the deck, but did paint his cammie blouse crimson. I think I mentioned I was sorry, but I did feel so much better after. Unfortunately for the boot I didn't think til later that it might have been better for all concerned if I just turned over and hurled in my waste basket.
     
 
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