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The Placid Casual · Dec 20, 2003, 04:07 PM

Every year I fear it. I dread it absolutely. I wish I could just skip December entirely and go straight to January.

Every Christmas for the past 5 years have been AWFUL for me.

This year is no exception.

My father has terminal cancer caused by Asbestos exposure, and since the start of December has got just so much worse... They now think he could pass away at any time and is in a Hospice...

For the last 3 weeks I have been away from my house and Girlfriend, and been on a bedside vigil for my Dad... He is a fighter to the last, and is hanging on despite atrocious pain and suffering. I really am despairing as to it all, but know at the end of it I'm losing an amazing father...

We are only a small family (4 of us..), and having lost my Grandmother in August (see previous post), this all feels plain awful.

Please people, *try* to enjoy Christmas, and cherish the time you have with your loved ones and families... They are unique moments that will never come again.

Peace,

Marc

(For the record, my last 5 Christmas disasters:

2002 - Intensive care with my Dad...

2001 - I had a case of Double Pneumonia and Pleuracy

2000 - Caught in a Hurricane, had to try to stop the roof blowing off our house. (No I'm not kidding)

1999 - Broke up with Fiance of the time.

1998 - Dad had Cancer the first time...

Next year I think I'm hibernating, starting around October time...)

Spheric Harlot · Dec 20, 2003, 04:13 PM

I lost my father in September.

My heart goes out to you.

I wish you strength in difficult times.

-chris.

awaspaas · Dec 20, 2003, 04:22 PM

That's terribly sad.

I hope everybody in this community sends you their thoughts and best wishes. I sure will.

voyageur · Dec 20, 2003, 04:27 PM

I am so sorry. I hope you can have a few good moments together despite all the pain.

willab · Dec 20, 2003, 04:29 PM

I hope your dad makes it. I will pray for him. My dad died when I was only 11, so I know what it feels like. I'm sorry that your last five Christmases have been so bad.

cal4ever · Dec 20, 2003, 04:58 PM

Originally posted by The Placid Casual:

(For the record, my last 5 Christmas disasters:

2002 - Intensive care with my Dad...

2001 - I had a case of Double Pneumonia and Pleuracy

2000 - Caught in a Hurricane, had to try to stop the roof blowing off our house. (No I'm not kidding)

1999 - Broke up with Fiance of the time.

1998 - Dad had Cancer the first time...

I completely understand how you feel. For the past 3 years, my holiday season hasn't been to happy either. In 2000, my dad had a liver transplant and stayed in ICU 2 weeks after that. Then in 2001, it was our first X-mas without our grandmother. And last year, my 6 year old cousin had a brain hemorrage--so we had to spend x-mas in the pICU. Everything is fine so far *knock on wood*. This might possibly be the first X-mas in many years that everybody is healthy....but it's very difficult not to worry about what *might* happen.

Just hang in there. There are things that are out of our control. All we can do is enjoy and appreciate the times we do have with our love ones--whether they are healthy or not--at least we are still with them.

Happy Holidays.

gorickey · Dec 20, 2003, 05:08 PM

You are in my prayers Marc. Stay as positive as possible under the circumstances...

Take care.

lil'babykitten · Dec 20, 2003, 05:24 PM

I'm sorry to here that Marc. Be strong.

TheIceMan · Dec 20, 2003, 06:31 PM

Marc,
I also wish you strength and comfort through these hard times. Losing a loved one is never easy, especially during a time when many are celebrating life.

rkolsen · Dec 20, 2003, 06:51 PM

Your father is added into my prayer list. Miracles Do Happen.

agentz · Dec 20, 2003, 06:52 PM

Marc, best wishes for you and your family.

theolein · Dec 20, 2003, 06:57 PM

Originally posted by The Placid Casual:
Every year I fear it. I dread it absolutely. I wish I could just skip December entirely and go straight to January.

Every Christmas for the past 5 years have been AWFUL for me.

This year is no exception.

My father has terminal cancer caused by Asbestos exposure, and since the start of December has got just so much worse... They now think he could pass away at any time and is in a Hospice...

For the last 3 weeks I have been away from my house and Girlfriend, and been on a bedside vigil for my Dad... He is a fighter to the last, and is hanging on despite atrocious pain and suffering. I really am despairing as to it all, but know at the end of it I'm losing an amazing father...

We are only a small family (4 of us..), and having lost my Grandmother in August (see previous post), this all feels plain awful.

Please people, *try* to enjoy Christmas, and cherish the time you have with your loved ones and families... They are unique moments that will never come again.

Peace,

Marc

(For the record, my last 5 Christmas disasters:

2002 - Intensive care with my Dad...

2001 - I had a case of Double Pneumonia and Pleuracy

2000 - Caught in a Hurricane, had to try to stop the roof blowing off our house. (No I'm not kidding)

1999 - Broke up with Fiance of the time.

1998 - Dad had Cancer the first time...

Next year I think I'm hibernating, starting around October time...)

I wish you a lot of strength and really hope things will turn out well for you and your family.

theolein · Dec 20, 2003, 06:58 PM

Originally posted by Spheric Harlot:
I lost my father in September.

My heart goes out to you.

I wish you strength in difficult times.

-chris.

My late condolences to you as well, Spheric.

Spheric Harlot · Dec 20, 2003, 07:33 PM

Originally posted by theolein:
My late condolences to you as well, Spheric.

I appreciate it.

It might explain the one or other odd moment on the boards, as well.

-s*

Cipher13 · Dec 20, 2003, 08:57 PM

Indeed... hang in there, Marc... you and your father will be in my thoughts. I hope everything works out one way or another.

Spheric, my condolences... I hope you're dealing with it all okay too.

doyal · Dec 20, 2003, 10:04 PM

Marc I know what your going through. I lost my dad this month. He was only 61. It's great that your with your dad, by his side. I did the same thing with my father. You can never say "I love you" too much.

I know it's not much comfort Marc but I feel for you and know what it's like pal. Sometimes it helps just a small, small amount knowing that your not the only one going through something like this and that someone else knows what it is like.

I want you to remember this one thing. OK? This year when you next hear a Christmas jingle or song, see a house with all the Christmas lights up, a TV commercial or program that involves Christmas or for that matter anything else remotely involved with Christmas and you think to yourself "**** Christmas" KNOW, KNOW that I'm right there with you saying it!

It takes one to know one.

Best Wishes, Doyal Alexander

OreoCookie · Dec 20, 2003, 10:27 PM

Just focus on your inner strength and still try to enjoy the last moments with him.

jonn804 · Dec 20, 2003, 10:29 PM

I lost my father last year at Christmas. I know what yor are going through. Whatever you believe in.... sex, drugs, rock 'n roll, Apple, Toyota, Saab, Bose.................

a god....

good luck. I'll be thinking of you.

Spheric Harlot · Dec 20, 2003, 10:34 PM

Originally posted by doyal:
Marc I know what your going through. I lost my dad this month. He was only 61. It's great that your with your dad, by his side. I did the same thing with my father. You can never say "I love you" too much.

I know it's not much comfort Marc but I feel for you and know what it's like pal. Sometimes it helps just a small, small amount knowing that your not the only one going through something like this and that someone else knows what it is like.

I want you to remember this one thing. OK? This year when you next hear a Christmas jingle or song, see a house with all the Christmas lights up, a TV commercial or program that involves Christmas or for that matter anything else remotely involved with Christmas and you think to yourself "**** Christmas" KNOW, KNOW that I'm right there with you saying it!

It takes one to know one.

Best Wishes, Doyal Alexander

to all of that.

My father was 68.

I last saw him about five months before he suddenly died while on vacation.

Christmas is cancelled in my mind this year. I've got massive job stress preparing a show I'll be playing the first time on the 26th anyhow, but I find myself almost totally unable to concentrate.

It's been that way for months.

I'm going to bed now, though.

-s*

The Placid Casual · Dec 21, 2003, 07:25 AM

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers... it really is appreciated and giving me strength to at least try to get through this.

I can't believe so many of you have also faced this, or similar situations over the last few months and years... Bizarrely it makes me feel somewhat less alone and weak knowing that others have come through similar horrific times... You really do all have my thoughts and prayers too, and also my upmost respect. I just hope I can be as together in the coming months...

Thanks again and sincere best wishes,

Marc

Shaddim · Dec 21, 2003, 11:49 AM

You have my deepest sympathies.

Have strength and know he loves you.

ambush · Dec 21, 2003, 11:57 AM

asbestos exposure is so bad.

sorry man.

Did he work in a mine?

Stratus Fear · Dec 21, 2003, 06:57 PM

I think I understand what it's like. I haven't lost my own parents (thank God) but I lost two grandparents (one from each side of the family) within three days of each other in July, and lost a great-uncle over Thanksgiving. This year has thrown a few curve balls, so I pray that nothing else happens before the year is out. But I sort of understand what you're going through. Prayers for your father and good luck.

wdlove · 01:20 PM

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. I wish you all the best Marc. Hope that you father may go in peace. I lost my father while I was in the Air Force, 1975. So I wasn't there when he passed away. My mother has been going down hill for the past several months. Based on that the doctor gave her until Christmas. She lives in another state, so far so good, still eating.

May God trully Bless You at this time of year, try to put your trust in him.

Link · Dec 21, 2003, 10:02 PM

Man that's sad

Good luck -- like another dude up here I lost my dad when i was 12 but his was kinda fast.. :sigh: I do give my condolences to those who've lost someone recently.. or even a few years ago (4 and a half here)

Yet again good luck.. hopefully he gets an extended lease on life, and if not may he go in peace.

The Placid Casual · Jan 4, 2004, 03:59 PM

I am sad to say that my Dad died on Christmas Day...

He suffered terribly, and fought until the bitter end, but thankfully when it mattered he was peaceful. I can only thank those that prayed for him as I'm sure it helped...

Peace,

Marc

wdlove · Jan 4, 2004, 04:04 PM

Originally posted by The Placid Casual:
I am sad to say that my Dad died on Christmas Day...

He suffered terribly, and fought until the bitter end, but thankfully when it mattered he was peaceful. I can only thank those that prayed for him as I'm sure it helped...

Peace,

Marc

I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your father The Placid Casual. The fact that he died peacefully must bring some comfort. I pray that his soul may rest in peace. May you are your family be comforted in this time of loss.

WinsOBoogi · Jan 4, 2004, 04:21 PM

Hey.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Know that youre never alone in your feelings.

Last month, my dad's "brother from another mother" died of a heart attack at the age of 49...left two kids.. a 17 year old and a 25 year old.

Everyone's been a wreck since...I think the saddest thing was that 3 days after Stew died, Evan, the 17 year old, got accepted to his first choice for college.

At the very least, you can feel content that it wasn't sudden, that your father got to see you grow up, and that you got to say your goodbyes.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

simonjames · Jan 4, 2004, 06:10 PM

no matter how hard it gets be there for your dad. Death by cancer is one of the worst (sorry, but experience shows it is) - good luck.

As an aside - it is interesting how people cope with problems/events like this in their lives. For example in these last 12 months there have been 4 deaths in my family. On each occaision I disappeared for a week - didn't want to speak - didn't post or surf the net at all. Thats how I deal with it. Others want to be around others and talk about their feelings - for me this is too painful.

Oneota · Jan 4, 2004, 06:16 PM

I'll add my story to this thread, I guess--

Last year during winter finals (just before Christmas) my grandma on my mom's side died.

This New Year's Day, my cousin (22 years old) on my mom's side died of a rare genetic heart defect.

...Three months after getting married to her high school sweetheart.

...Oh, and this rare genetic heart defect? It's the same thing that killed my cousin's mother 18 months after giving birth to this cousin and her twin sister.

The twin, thankfully, appears to be free of the heart problem (they were paternal twins, not identical), but that family has had more than its share of heartbreaks.

The visitation is today, but the weather isn't cooperating, so I'm not sure I'm going to be able to get there.