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subego · Jan 20, 2012, 06:43 AM

When did you get it, and how?

I'm talking about in a formal setting, like school or your parents... perv.

ghporter · Jan 20, 2012, 07:32 AM

I'll start. My parents were obviously a bit anxious about talking with me about sex, but they did (separately) sit down and talk with me (quietly, privately) when I asked about it. This was probably around age 10 or so... Somewhat later, when my questions got more complex, Dad gave me a book called "Love and Sex in Plain Language." While not at all explicit, it covered the biology (developmental and reproductive), the emotional issues, and some of the social issues. The book has been updated more than once, and is still apparently in print.

I think the book was at least as helpful as talking with my parents, but it was also (in retrospect) a sign that they felt I was both getting to "that stage" and doing so at a reasonable pace. And they were probably right; I didn't wind up pregnant or anything.

subego · Jan 20, 2012, 07:50 AM

I like that even though your parents were anxious, they followed the policy of "if they're old enough to ask, then they're old enough to know".

SpaceMonkey · Jan 20, 2012, 10:01 AM

I don't remember.

The Final Dakar · Jan 20, 2012, 10:07 AM

Freshman year of high school.

Sealobo · Jan 20, 2012, 10:22 AM

learning by doing.

Spheric Harlot · Jan 20, 2012, 12:30 PM

Fifth grade in a German school, and eighth grade science class (more detailed, including coverage of contraception and various STDs etc) at an American school.

Waragainstsleep · Jan 20, 2012, 01:50 PM

I remember getting classes late at primary school (age 10-11), again early at secondary school (~12), then periodically throughout secondary school. I think the biology was covered again and in extra detail around age 13 and then more about STDs and underage pregnancy somewhere around 15 or 16. They actually brought in a busload of teenage single mothers for that one. Might have been slightly more effective if the girls hadn't spent most of the time cooing over the babies.

My parents at various points reiterated that I was free to ask any questions I wanted to. I forget when they first said that but I'd picked up most of the mechanics anecdotally already and a fair amount of the emotional and social aspects from TV.

Thorzdad · Jan 20, 2012, 03:36 PM

Sex Ed started around 5th grade, then each year until I got to high school. So, basically, jr. high. The girls in the school system could take the class before then, if their "situation" warranted it. It was not a subject my parents were ever comfortable talking about, so I think they were glad the schools started the classes.

About the only advice/lesson my dad ever gave me about anything even remotely dealing with sex was that he didn't care about the magazines, but just don't let my mom find them.

jmiddel · Jan 20, 2012, 04:42 PM

No sex ed in school where and when I lived my youth. Parents, also completely uncomfortable talking about it, so they sent me to the family doc when I was 14/15. He was kind and of course scientific about it all, which was just what I needed given the nuttiness of family life.

besson3c · Jan 20, 2012, 04:47 PM

It's already quite interesting how far spread the years are. I'm assuming that we're all pretty much of the same generation too, give or take a decade or whatever.

Jawbone54 · Jan 20, 2012, 04:52 PM

My family was very comfortable in discussing it with me (at about age 11).

My dad is a conservative, Pentecostal pastor, so the stereotype is that he'd be very hesitant to discuss it, but we went through absolutely everything. I do remember he gave me a book to read on the subject, which was probably the quickest read of my youth, but he answered every question thoughtfully and honestly.

As for school, it happened in 9th grade. I don't remember being very interested, as much of it was old news by that point.

Thorzdad · Jan 20, 2012, 04:57 PM

I was in jr. high around 1970.

besson3c · Jan 20, 2012, 07:18 PM

When you guys say that parents/school went through "everything", can you define everything? Oral/anal sex? Masturbation? Sex toys? The concept of promiscuity and its stigma (in the case of girls)? STDs? Porn? The religious element? Prostitution? Friends with benefits? Sex in relationships? Good sexual performance?

subego · Jan 20, 2012, 07:33 PM

My ex's mom just did the virginity part:

"There's piercing, and blood, and it hurts."

Totally scared her off sex, which I believe was the point.

andi*pandi · Jan 20, 2012, 07:36 PM

4th grade: film time. First a general overview with everyone, then got split into boy/girl groups for our own films. Lots of giggling ensued and wondering what went on in the other film.

5th grade: Mom gave me the girl talk. Mostly hygiene and not sex at all.

8th grade: More detailed sex ed in mixed classroom, possibly a basic overview of STDs/contraception, but none of the other stuff Besson mentions. There was more giggling. I want to say we also did the "baby egg" thing. Either that or I'm remembering an episode of 90210.

Cosmo.

College: Designed and typeset a sex ed booklet for our health dept, that was very explicit. They put on "safer sex parties" where the nurse would demo things (using props) like how to properly put on a condom, what symptoms of certain diseases were, etc.

Spheric Harlot · Jan 20, 2012, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

When you guys say that parents/school went through "everything", can you define everything? Oral/anal sex? Masturbation? Sex toys? The concept of promiscuity and its stigma (in the case of girls)? STDs? Porn? The religious element? Prostitution? Friends with benefits? Sex in relationships? Good sexual performance?

I believe yes to all that except for the religious element, toys, and friends with benefits.

As I recall, the idea of "good sexual performance" was briefly dealt with as ridiculous, and that was that.

lpkmckenna · Jan 20, 2012, 11:57 PM

Fuzzy porn. Also "Blue Movies" on CityTV on Friday nights.

The Dr Ruth Sunday Night Sex Show on the radio was extremely important.

I never received "the talk" from my parents, but we began discussing sex once I hit my late teens, when it was too late. But I do recall watching a pretty explicit educational show with my mom when I was 15 or so. I remember it showed a stark-naked woman give birth in a jacuzzi, which was sorta horrifying and mesmerizing at the same time. There was also an unintentionally funny bit where they explained the male erection being an increase in blood pressure within the penis by using an infra-red camera on a men with an erection, like the Predator was spying on an aroused male.

I can remember 2 distinct sex-ed classes in school: grade 10, when the gym teacher gave us three lectures on AIDS and how condoms were unreliable and gays only had sex in public washrooms, and also in grade 10 biology class we learned the anatomy of it all and watched a hilarious film of two people having sex, filmed inside the woman's vagina. The biology teacher left the room just before the big moment, so when it was about to happen, the class clown intoned "and here it comes," and the entire class collapsed in hysterics. I'll never understand why the classes were segregated for discussion of STIs, but not for a graphic video of people fncking.

But I think our sex-ed classes are too sanitized now. There are no more photos of what STI inflammations look like, so it was only about a year ago on Wikipedia that I actually saw what a herpes infection looks like. I'm 39, BTW.

I have no plans to ever have kids. But I remember watching the movie Nell (with Liam Neeson and Jodie Foster), when he gives her a graphic sex manual, and I thought then: that's what every teenager should be given by their parents. But then again, I grew up in the age of fuzzy porn. Today's ubiquitous tube sites are seen by every teenager, and they now think the anus is a completely fecal-free zone.

lpkmckenna · Jan 21, 2012, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by Thorzdad

About the only advice/lesson my dad ever gave me about anything even remotely dealing with sex was that he didn't care about the magazines, but just don't let my mom find them.

Are we brothers? I don't remember having a brother.

subego · Jan 21, 2012, 03:04 AM

I miss Sue Johansen.

Spheric Harlot · Jan 21, 2012, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by lpkmckenna

Today's ubiquitous tube sites are seen by every teenager, and they now think the anus is a completely fecal-free zone.

They also think the vulva is completely devoid of hair.

subego · Jan 21, 2012, 07:44 AM

And a vulva is a car.

ghporter · Jan 21, 2012, 08:59 AM

I should have mentioned my school sex ed experience. Our regular coach, who of course taught both gym and "health" classes was out for an extended time due to a car accident, so we had a long-term substitute. This was late in 10th grade I think. The substitute coach set up the first period class with "the film" and it ran for probably 15 minutes. And then he got WAY embarrassed, stopped the film, and the rest of that class and all the other boys' classes that day consisted of dodgeball. I never did find out what bout "the film" got that guy so upset.

Waragainstsleep · Jan 21, 2012, 01:11 PM

Maybe he discovered he had been doing something wrong.

Eug · Jan 21, 2012, 03:49 PM

It's sad, but I read the title of this thread just now as "SSD".

jmiddel · Jan 21, 2012, 04:09 PM

I suppose SSDs can be quite sexy, speed and all, like a Ferrari

Shaddim · Jan 21, 2012, 11:16 PM

I took a big chance at the ~~high~~ middle school dance
With a missy who was ready to play
Wasn't me she was foolin' 'cause she knew what she was doin'
When she told me how to walk this way

Well, anyway, that was my first encounter with "sex ed", I also had an older cousin who would answer questions. By the time high school health class rolled around there wasn't very much mystery left.

subego · 03:13 AM

I'm surprised at how late it was for most people.

My hippy dippy grade school had "Where Did I Come From" in the first grade class library. This covered almost everything, including cartoons of hippy dippy 70's naked people.

Spheric Harlot · Jan 23, 2012, 03:54 AM

Hey! - we had that book, too!

The one on puberty is great.

besson3c · Jan 23, 2012, 04:12 AM

Originally Posted by subego

I'm surprised at how late it was for most people.

My hippy dippy grade school had "Where Did I Come From" in the first grade class library. This covered almost everything, including cartoons of hippy dippy 70's naked people.

The guy on the right looks like Turtle...

Big Mac · Jan 23, 2012, 05:17 AM

The parents of my sixth grade class (private school) put pressure on the school to provide us with a sex ed class. By that time I had known for a while the broad stroke (so to speak) details of sex , if not the fine mechanics. Decent enough course, decently attractive woman teaching us. I think the first day we did our best impressions of Beavis and Butthead when they were in sex ed being taught by Buzzcut. I also remember one of my friends having the balls to ask the sex ed teacher if he could meet the woman's daughter (who was apparently our age). That was a pretty cool year because we were in the highest grade in our school, the big men on campus. There was a lot of bad language and some sex talk (not much though) used in the school yard - we earned it.

In eighth grade I think my PE class got a bit more sex ed mainly pertaining to safer sex and STDs, but just a small unit on that. Ah youth, good times.

mattyb · Jan 23, 2012, 05:29 AM

11 years old, Science class in a Catholic Boarding school but presented by a lay teacher.

ghporter · Jan 23, 2012, 07:24 AM

Originally Posted by subego

I'm surprised at how late it was for most people.

I think of it as evidence that, no matter how cool or enlightened they may be, parents generally aren't comfortable with the thought of their children becoming sexual beings.

subego · Jan 23, 2012, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

The guy on the right looks like Turtle...

Is there a guy on the left I'm missing?

subego · Jan 23, 2012, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by ghporter

I think of it as evidence that, no matter how cool or enlightened they may be, parents generally aren't comfortable with the thought of their children becoming sexual beings.

If that's the case, I feel for my dad.

When I was very young I asked him what "the birds and the bees" were. The thing was, I wasn't interested in getting the "sex talk", I just knew "the birds and the bees" meant something other than birds and bees, and I had reached my limit of not knowing what that was.

As a final dash of irony, I'm almost 100% sure the place where I had heard it the most was The Brady Bunch. Due to the magic of reruns, even though it was only one episode, I had seen it over and over.

Waragainstsleep · Jan 23, 2012, 01:32 PM

Meaning of Life - Sex Education - YouTube