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smacintush · 09:45 AM

I've decided to start a company that will revolutionize behavioral management in society.

Without religion, without draconian control schemes.

It's called SinPass.

How you ask, can I possible do this?

Morality credits™.

The idea is to create credits that will have a market value that can be used to offset immoral behavior. Each credit is equal to one ethical impropriety. (it may take more than one credit to offset a particular moral offense)

The credits you purchase will be used to help the poor, get medical care for the sick etc. (we promise!)

You lie to your boss? Buy a credit! You "accidentally" get head from your sister-in-law? Buy 3 credits! Your tyrannical mother "falls" on your brand new Katana sixteen times while you are trying to watch Secret Garden? Buy 30 credits!

It's just that simple!

Yes friends, we FINALLY have a way to bring peace and order to our society while boosting the economy AT THE SAME TIME! And the beauty is, you don't even have to STOP the immoral behavior you love! Simply purchase credits to offset your improprieties and you can maintain your moral neutrality! (or if you like, you can show how much you really care by purchasing a morality credit SURPLUS!)

Finally you can get rid of that pesky guilt forever!

SInPass is a wholy owned subsidiary of GloboScam Unlimited. SinPass is NOT affiliated with TerraPass. Morality credits™ are a commidity traded on the open market, the value of purchased credits may change at any time. SinPass is not a charity, it is a publicly traded for-profit company. The purchase of morality credits™ may not alleviate all guilt, your results may vary. Morality credits™ DO NOT absolve you of ANY responsibility. Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to morality credits™. Caution: morality credits™ may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. Morality credits™ contain a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use morality credits™ on concrete. Discontinue use of morality credits™ if any of the following occurs: Itching, Vertigo, Dizziness, Tingling in extremities, Loss of balance or coordination, Slurred speech, Temporary blindness, Profuse sweating, Heart palpitations. If morality credits™ begin to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. Morality credits™ may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, morality credits™ should be returned to their special container and kept under refrigeration...Failure to do so relieves SinPass Incorporated, and its parent company GloboScam Unlimited, of any and all liability.Ingredients of Morality credits™ include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Do not taunt morality credits™. Morality credits™ come with a lifetime guarantee.

voodoo · Mar 2, 2007, 05:28 AM

Cute. Your signature makes no sense, and this belongs in the regular lounge.

V

smacintush · Mar 2, 2007, 05:31 AM

Originally Posted by voodoo

Cute. Your signature makes no sense, and this belongs in the regular lounge.

V

Thanks. Yes it does. It belongs in the PWL.

voodoo · Mar 2, 2007, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by smacintush

Thanks. Yes it does. It belongs in the PWL.

Sure. No it doesn't. Back to the regular lounge this should go.

V

smacintush · Mar 2, 2007, 06:02 AM

Originally Posted by voodoo

No it doesn't. Back to the regular lounge this should go.

Sure it does. (try reading LaoTzu sometime) Why should it be moved?

voodoo · Mar 2, 2007, 06:41 AM

Originally Posted by smacintush

Sure it does. (try reading LaoTzu sometime) Why should it be moved?

Because it is a humorous/sarcastic piece, non-political. More philosphical. Besides, if it is to be posted here, you have to fulfill rule 8 of this forum.

That would ruin the joke. So it is better to move it to the regular lounge.

As for your signature.. "He who has not faith in others shall find no faith in them." makes sense. Faithlessness and having no faith is not the same. That's why it doesn't make sense the way you wrote it. Unless you're speaking some archaic middle ages English. In which case, thou shalt know the Lord of the Rings does nigh hold sentances as are spoken these days.

In the case of Lao Tze in this case, faith can be substituted with 'believe in', as opposed to keep fidelity to.

V

Mithras · Mar 2, 2007, 08:43 AM

How many credits do I have to buy for skimping on how many credits I need to buy?

analogika · Mar 2, 2007, 09:04 AM

Originally Posted by voodoo

Cute. Your signature makes no sense

Your interpretation of his signature makes no sense, but thankfully, the Voodoo Seal of Approval is not a necessary prerequisite for intelligent thought.

Dakar² · Mar 2, 2007, 09:16 AM

Why do I suspect this is related to one of the Global Warming threads?

smacintush · Mar 2, 2007, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by voodoo

Because it is a humorous/sarcastic piece, non-political. More philosphical. Besides, if it is to be posted here, you have to fulfill rule 8 of this forum.

That would ruin the joke. So it is better to move it to the regular lounge.

Oh, I think the joke is well on it's way to ruination. If you actually get the joke you see that it fits with a topic often hotly debated in the PWL.

As for your signature.. "He who has not faith in others shall find no faith in them." makes sense. Faithlessness and having no faith is not the same. That's why it doesn't make sense the way you wrote it. Unless you're speaking some archaic middle ages English. In which case, thou shalt know the Lord of the Rings does nigh hold sentances as are spoken these days.

In the case of Lao Tze in this case, faith can be substituted with 'believe in', as opposed to keep fidelity to.

I didn't "write" it. I copy pasted it from one of the many thousands of translations of the Tao Te Ching. I chose this particular one because at the time I was discussing faith in another thread. If you don't like it, there are many other versions.

The best rulers are scarcely known by their subjects;
The next best are loved and praised;
The next are feared;
The next despised:
They have no faith in their people,
And their people become unfaithful to them.

When the best rulers achieve their purpose
Their subjects claim the achievement as their own.

Of the best the people hardly ever know they exist;
The next best they flock to and praise.
The next they shrink from;
The next get reviled.
"Not believing people you turn them into liars" -
Such bosses do not command the people's faith.
They lose faith in them and take to oaths!

The wise man is a clever ruler; he values his words highly.
It is so hard to get a single word from him at any price that when his task is finished, a work well done, everyone says,
"It happened by itself, and we did it."

When the Masters take charge,
hardly anybody notices.
The next best leader is obeyed out of love.
After that, there's the leader who is obeyed out of fear.
The worst leader is the one who is hated.

Trust and respect people.
That's how you earn their trust and respect.

The Masters don't give orders;
they work with everybody else.
When the job's done,
people are amazed at what they accomplished.

The highest rulers, people do not know they have them
The next level, people love them and praise them
The next level, people fear them
The next level, people despise them
If the rulers' trust is insufficient
Have no trust in them

Proceeding calmly, valuing their words
Task accomplished, matter settled
The people all say, "We did it naturally"

Ah, I was gonna change it anyway. How's the new one?

Millennium · Mar 2, 2007, 09:46 AM

Well, hey; it worked for the sale of indulgences.

besson3c · Mar 2, 2007, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by voodoo

Sure. No it doesn't. Back to the regular lounge this should go.

V

Jesus H. Christ, does it REALLY matter? Please tell me why this matters so much to you?

OldManMac · Mar 2, 2007, 10:59 AM

Speaking of Jesus H. Christ, did you hear how he was named?

Back in his time, people were much shorter than today. One of the Wise Guys, however, was unusually tall. When they went to the manger, he bumped his head on the roof, and proclamed, "Jesus Christ!" Mary then turned to Joseph, and said, "Now there's a better name than Herbie!"

analogika · Mar 2, 2007, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by besson3c

Jesus H. Christ, does it REALLY matter? Please tell me why this matters so much to you?

It's fascism, I tell you!

besson3c · Mar 2, 2007, 11:24 AM

Originally Posted by KarlG

Speaking of Jesus H. Christ, did you hear how he was named?

Back in his time, people were much shorter than today. One of the Wise Guys, however, was unusually tall. When they went to the manger, he bumped his head on the roof, and proclamed, "Jesus Christ!" Mary then turned to Joseph, and said, "Now there's a better name than Herbie!"

True story?

What is Jesus' middle name anyway?

dcmacdaddy · Mar 2, 2007, 11:36 AM

What will be your source of good morality? If you want people to have faith in your product offering they need to have faith that the good morality you are offering for sale is truly valuable. Consumers need to have faith in the product you are offering but that comes from having faith in the quality of the group that certifies your product as being what it claims? So, what accrediting agencies have you got lined up to certify your offerings as genuinely moral?

RAILhead · Mar 2, 2007, 11:45 AM

The Catholic Church already did this, hundreds of years ago. Never heard of Selling Indulgences?

smacintush · Mar 2, 2007, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

True story?

What is Jesus' middle name anyway?

Herbie. Duh.

smacintush · Mar 2, 2007, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by RAILhead

The Catholic Church already did this, hundreds of years ago. Never heard of Selling Indulgences?

But this is a totally secular approach!

subego · Mar 2, 2007, 06:40 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

What is Jesus' middle name anyway?

Haploid.

Thanks. Try the veal.

BRussell · Mar 2, 2007, 07:11 PM

I like it smacintush.

besson3c · Mar 2, 2007, 07:43 PM

Maybe his middle name is Hanchob?

Buckaroo · Mar 2, 2007, 09:36 PM

Hey, Gore is already in this business.

Buckaroo · Mar 2, 2007, 10:17 PM

Maybe he'll buy yours to go along with his scam.

olePigeon · Mar 5, 2007, 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by Millennium

Well, hey; it worked for the sale of indulgences.

Heh, I was about to mention that the Catholics already did this.

Snow-i · Mar 5, 2007, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

True story?

What is Jesus' middle name anyway?

technically speaking, his name is (just) Jesus.

In other words, Christ is not his last name...its a designation for what he is...the Christ.