[Chuckit]

Originally Posted by demograph68

COUGHsuckupCOUGH

It is not possible to suck up to oneself.

[demograph68]

Why do you ask?

[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

No, it's not. It's MY computer, OreoCookie.

That's the kind of mentality that says that kids should just do what they want. I don't read all of his emails, but I do note who it is that is sending them. For instance, he was getting porn advertisements in his email box. Think that's okay OreoCookie? Apparently you do because your thinking says that I should never have gone into his email and then he would have been subjected to, "Asian girls sucking XXXXX XXXX" with graphic pictures - that's exactly what I caught on his InBox.

Your comment actually made me laugh. I wonder if you have kids? It's a compromise - and he knows that I sometimes go in and out of the email also. Again, it's my computer, not his. If he were 16 then I'd try to respect his privacy, but he's TWELVE.

It's not a matter of age, I was raised this way. Instead of checking on us, my parents taught my siblings and me how to deal responsibly with life. They did not teach us to do what we want, they did teach us to take responsibility for our actions. To construe I support porn spam (I get enough of this bs everyday, but Mail's spam filter is usually quite reliable) is ridiculous.

Also, if you do not trust them (because you feel you have to check on them), this will reciprocate. They will not trust you and will hide things that they think you might object to. It might be your computer, but it's still his privacy.

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

I couldn't disagree more. When you give your children unsupervised access to ANY form of communication (snail mail, phone, cell phone, IM, email, etc. etc.)... you are opening the door for SERIOUS trouble. The parent should be the firewall to the world.

Nobody is blaming the cell phone [the hunk of plastic and electronics] for the death... I was blaming the unsupervised usage of a cell phone for potentially taking a bad situation and making it MUCH worse.

Yes, you are opening the door to the evil world. You do the same by letting them play outside by themselves. They could get hit by a car. They could be taken away by a stranger. The role of a parent is not to control a child, but to teach it how to deal with life in a responsible manner.

To say the `cellphone' made a bad situation much worse, just shows how much you fail to understand what's going on.

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

You're absolutely right, Mastrap, and I agree. HOWEVER, I do not "spy" on him. He KNOWS that I check out his email and he knows why. Sometimes I make an offhand joke like, "You aren't getting any sicko emails, are you? If you are let me know, okay?" On the other hand, since he rarely checks his emails, sometimes I go in there to see if his teacher has emailed him about a project or book report or even grades. He knows that I do check the email and why. He's truly okay with it, at least right now. I have no doubt that at some point he won't want me reading his emails, but right now he doesn't mind. We're very, very close. WDLove has been on the telephone with me when I've met him after school. We tell each other that we love each other all of the time. He's one-of-a-kind and really great. I respect him more than anyone can know. He's an amazing kid.

to my son.

Remove the quotation marks. It's spying. Period. Even if you call it `spy' (with quotation marks) it just shows that you don't fully trust him. He probably already has another e-mail account, the one you don't know about. Adults tend to underestimate children. And just because you got a good kid doesn't mean he doesn't have a private life.

[waxcrash]

Lawyer: Girl Had No Role in Parents' Slay

By MARK SCOLFORO
Associated Press Writer
Published November 22, 2005, 4:40 PM CST

LANCASTER, Pa. -- A 14-year-old girl who ran off with her boyfriend after he allegedly gunned down her parents did not know that he was going to kill them, her lawyer said Tuesday.

"All she is, is a witness. And a victim to the extent that her parents were killed," the attorney, Robert Beyer, said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.

Beyer spoke out a day after prosecutors said Kara Borden had fled willingly with David Ludwig. He said Borden had no role in the shootings of Michael and Cathryn Borden inside their Lititz home on Nov. 13.

"It's Ludwig's case, not hers," Beyer said. He declined to discuss the case further.

Neither District Attorney Donald Totaro nor Ludwig's attorney, James Gratton, returned messages Tuesday seeking comment.

Prosecutors announced Monday that they would drop kidnapping charges against Ludwig after interviews with Ludwig and Borden determined she had gone with him voluntarily. The case had initially been treated as an abduction.

Ludwig, 18, is being held without bail, awaiting a Dec. 16 preliminary hearing on murder charges.

He told detectives that the girl wanted to "get as far away as possible, get married, and start a new life," according to court documents. The two were caught in Indiana one day after the killings.

Ludwig said he went to the home armed with several weapons and shot the parents, both 50, after Michael Borden told the teenager to stop seeing his daughter, prosecutors said.



Copyright © 2005, The Associated Press

Well, according to the girl and her lawyer, she didn't know the boyfriend was going to kill her parents. Once again, Cody Dawg jumps to conclusions.

[production_coordinator]

Originally Posted by OreoCookie

Yes, you are opening the door to the evil world. You do the same by letting them play outside by themselves. They could get hit by a car. They could be taken away by a stranger. The role of a parent is not to control a child, but to teach it how to deal with life in a responsible manner.

To say the `cellphone' made a bad situation much worse, just shows how much you fail to understand what's going on.

Unlike you, I chose my words very carefully. I stick by my statement that parents should be the firewall to a child's world. Firewall... NOT place them in a bubble or have them check in every 20 minutes. Do you honestly think letting this 14 year old girl have an unsupervised cell phone where she could IM a 18 year old guy was a good idea?

An unsupervised IM/email/cell is not "the same by letting them play outside by themselves." I would compare it more to letting your child stay home alone while you go on a month long vacation. Online predators can be there for a young person when they are the most vulnerable.

[AKcrab]

Originally Posted by waxcrash

Well, according to the girl and her lawyer, she didn't know the boyfriend was going to kill her parents.

Well, not that I think she had any idea he was going to off her folks, but would you expect her or the lawyer to say anything else? They would never admit publicly that she helped plan it, they would of course wait for the police to come up with some evidence.

I think the dude is a nutjob, and she was just hormonal, sheltered, and naive.

[Kevin]

This is why I don't want kids.

[OldManMac]

Because of one anecdotal incident? That vast majority of kids don't turn out to be murderers.

[lurkalot]

Originally Posted by Cody Dawg

What I think is sad is that this kid (Ludwig) was such a bad influence. This girl was raised a Christian (supposedly - according to the minister of her church) and the parents were good people. It's really sad.

According to the news stories, David Ludwig was also raised a Christian in a Christian family.

[OreoCookie]

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

Unlike you, I chose my words very carefully. I stick by my statement that parents should be the firewall to a child's world. Firewall... NOT place them in a bubble or have them check in every 20 minutes. Do you honestly think letting this 14 year old girl have an unsupervised cell phone where she could IM a 18 year old guy was a good idea?

She could IM a 50-year old for all you know. But then, she can do that even when you `supervise' her cell phone. Do you honestly think teenagers and kids are that stupid? All you do is show that you do not trust your child and they will build a life separate of yours.

I do think that a cell phone at her age is a good idea. I also think the age difference is not big at all. 17 and 18-year olds with girlfriends who are only 14 is not an exception.

It also does not matter what words you choose, if you should use the right one. A firewall is something which prevents connections in the first place. So you are not really a firewall.

Originally Posted by production_coordinator

An unsupervised IM/email/cell is not "the same by letting them play outside by themselves." I would compare it more to letting your child stay home alone while you go on a month long vacation. Online predators can be there for a young person when they are the most vulnerable.

That's the unsuitable comparison. If you leave them at home for a month, you don't have contact for a month. If you leave them their privacy, you still see them every day. You'll talk to them on a daily basis to get to know what's important in their lives. If you let them play outside, you stop supervising them for a period of time. They'll be accountable for returning on time and all that. Which is much closer to the accountability of being able to use new technology appropriately.

[- - e r i k - -]

You are not a firewall, you are spyware.