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Not as Crap Movies (Page 3)
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subego  (op)
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Dec 19, 2022, 02:26 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Have you ever seen the movie Dolls?
Since you mentioned it.


Dolls

Schlock late-80s horror from the guy who did Re-Animator. Very tired setup where a bunch of people get trapped overnight in the creepy mansion of an old, wizened doll-maker. Mostly the terrifying porcelain kind.

Needless to say, the dolls start murdering everyone. The best part is when a doll gets its head smashed it has a tiny skull inside.

Way better than it deserves to be. Ultra-creepy. Full disclosure: it’s been 30 years since I’ve seen it so it might not hold up as well as I remember.



     
subego  (op)
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Dec 28, 2022, 02:30 AM
 
Glass Onion

The satire is far more entertaining than the mystery. Over-reliance on greenscreen makes it feel cheap.

It’s not awful or anything, but it can’t escape the shadow of the first. Lowered expectations are in order.




     
subego  (op)
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Jan 2, 2023, 04:49 AM
 
The Irishman

No idea why people criticized the length. Likewise, the de-aging didn’t bother me. There is indeed one (rather pivotal) moment where De Niro’s true age betrays him.

Excellent all around, but I think it’s Joe Pesci’s best work.



     
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Jan 2, 2023, 04:35 PM
 
Similar thoughts on glass onion. Had to explain the plot of Agatha Christie's "and then there were none" to the kids. Fun twists, but the ending felt a little flat.
     
Thorzdad
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Jan 2, 2023, 07:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Excellent all around, but I think it’s Joe Pesci’s best work.
That’s not a very high bar, for me. Pesci being in it would be a huge reason for me to skip it. I just can’t stand the guy.
     
Laminar
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Jan 2, 2023, 07:18 PM
 
What if that's the point of his character? He's not usually playing a likeable character.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 2, 2023, 07:28 PM
 
Originally Posted by Thorzdad View Post
That’s not a very high bar, for me. Pesci being in it would be a huge reason for me to skip it. I just can’t stand the guy.
I more or less agree, especially after seeing the (excellent) musical Jersey Boys and discovering he was a wannabe gangster no one took seriously because he’s such a twerp.

In The Irishman, even though it’s another gangster role, he doesn’t do his normal, overcompensating loudmouth schtick at all. The meat of his performance is subtle changes in facial expression, and it’s riveting.
     
Thorzdad
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Jan 2, 2023, 07:33 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
What if that's the point of his character? He's not usually playing a likeable character.
It has nothing to do with the character. It’s Pesci’s acting. He’s kind of like one of those little, annoying, yapping dogs, that won’t shut the fuck up. He plays every role (that I’ve seen, anyway) like that, to where the credits should read “Joe Pesci as Himself”.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 3, 2023, 01:09 AM
 
Originally Posted by Thorzdad View Post
“Joe Pesci as Himself”
Totally agree. What makes him good in this is he’s finally not doing that.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 3, 2023, 02:09 PM
 
Coherence

Pinter-like, emotionally abusive dinner party goes into The Twilight Zone. Want to say little else other than it’s fantastic.

Bonus: Xander from Buffy is in it.



     
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Jan 10, 2023, 12:40 AM
 
Great call on Coherence, really enjoyed that movie

The Menu

Let’s get it out of the way: the movie doesn’t make a lot of sense from a plot perspective. But come for the miscast Anna Taylor-Joy’s massive peepers, stay for the withering satire on fancy restaurants, art critics, rich people and internet super fans. Sip your fancy $200 bottle of red wine with that signature barnyard funk, ignore the nonsensical plot points, and have a laugh at the expense of even fancier rich people!

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subego  (op)
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Jan 10, 2023, 10:29 AM
 
Originally Posted by benhsaw32 View Post
Three-day weekends are typically quite important to people who wish to conserve money. These extended weekends provide many opportunities for financial savings since businesses use the extra day off to offer discounts and other special offers to get people in. The first holiday weekend of this year's MLK Day bargains has us excited to see how much money we can save. Over the first three-day holiday weekend of the year, save money on clothing, home goods, cosmetics, and more by shopping these MLK Day weekend deals.
Poorly paced. Bad CG makes it feel cheap.



     
subego  (op)
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Jan 16, 2023, 01:38 AM
 
Late to the party for Cabin in the Woods and Looper so I imagine a full review isn’t necessary because everyone will have seen them. Enjoyed both. Wanted more time with the SCP stuff with Cabin. Was creeped out the whole time during Looper how Joseph Gordon-Levitt didn’t look like himself, and Bruce Willis reminded me of Homer Simpson.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 24, 2023, 04:59 PM
 
Two more where I’m late to the party, Edge of Tomorrow and The Hitman’s Bodyguard.

Liked both. Edge was surprisingly dark, especially if you ignore the ending, which I’d argue one should. Also relentlessly drab color palette. I strangely found myself liking the interpersonal stuff the most, like the scene in the countryside house.

With Bodyguard, it was fun to watch Sam Jackson play “every Sam Jackson character ever”. Fight scene in the kitchen and beyond was fantastic.
     
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Jan 25, 2023, 01:02 AM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Late to the party for Cabin in the Woods and Looper so I imagine a full review isn’t necessary because everyone will have seen them. Enjoyed both. Wanted more time with the SCP stuff with Cabin. Was creeped out the whole time during Looper how Joseph Gordon-Levitt didn’t look like himself, and Bruce Willis reminded me of Homer Simpson.
Looper is fantastic. Rian Johnson makes pretty great movies for the most part. I think his Star Wars movie might be the best one.
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Jan 25, 2023, 01:04 AM
 
Also, Edge of Tomorrow is one of the better action movies of the 2010s. Also epic in 4K Atmos…..boom boom boom.
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subego  (op)
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Jan 25, 2023, 02:30 AM
 
I’ve only seen the first Rian Star Wars. I didn’t hate it like everyone else, but I’d put it at 3rd or 4th best, behind Empire, ANH, and maybe Return. I mean, Return is flawed, but the speeder cycles and the Battle of Endor are still pretty amazing.

Edge of Tomorrow is definitely one of the smartest action movies out there, but the action left me a little flat in some ways. The non-action parts were the best parts. Like the cottage scene, or fuckin’ Bill Paxton, who’s just perfect.
     
ShortcutToMoncton
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Jan 25, 2023, 10:49 AM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
I’ve only seen the first Rian Star Wars. I didn’t hate it like everyone else, but I’d put it at 3rd or 4th best, behind Empire, ANH, and maybe Return. I mean, Return is flawed, but the speeder cycles and the Battle of Endor are still pretty amazing.
He only did The Last Jedi, from 2017. I kind of think it is/was generally regarded as likely the best of the bunch post-originals, and better than Return from a movie perspective (removing the sentimentality). I think it took some things in a slightly different direction and was not nearly as derivative as the other two in the recent trilogy.

Edge of Tomorrow is definitely one of the smartest action movies out there, but the action left me a little flat in some ways. The non-action parts were the best parts. Like the cottage scene, or fuckin’ Bill Paxton, who’s just perfect.
I think the ending was definitely weaker. Not surprisingly, I find the action scenes can feel a little meaningless due to the relatively generic monsters…..they’re everywhere, they’re fast, they’re not really that nasty-looking, so it doesn’t give you the same jolt of horror and once you know about the premise, you don’t feel the same level of table stakes (until they re-introduce them near the end). Typically, I think that one well-done baddie is always better than a swarm of generic baddies.

But it’s great theatre entertainment!

Also, if it’s the smartness that hooked you, not sure if you’ve seen Source Code from a few years before….a Jake Gyllenhall movie, very similar premise! It’s not as entertaining (I mean…it’s not Tom Cruise) but might be a better overall executed movie. Would be interested to see what you think in comparison!!
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subego  (op)
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Jan 25, 2023, 11:20 AM
 
I’d say I liked Source Code more. That movie is very tight. I also like Jake a lot, and I’ve ridden the train it took place on a bunch of times. I still consider the final loop to be one of the most satisfying scenes in cinema. Likewise, the implication at the end that all the other timelines still exist was brilliant (unlike the Edge ending).

Agree about the aliens in Edge. They’re generic, and just too chaotic. The robot suits are great though. Also agree about the stakes. I knew the setup going in, so that was an issue right off. Like in other places, the implications of the action are more interesting than the action. Such as the prospective horror of dying thousands of times.


Return had lots of problems, and I have little sentimentality for it and the muppet shit. However the cycles and the last battle are so good, they transcend the stupid. TLJ was just… okay. It has a common Star Wars problem of stuffing five acts into a three-act bag. Plus, no one knew what to do with Boyega’s character in either of the first two sequels.
     
subego  (op)
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Jan 31, 2023, 02:20 AM
 
Going farther back into the archive.

Tora! Tora! Tora!

Like many Americans, my early WWII knowledge is focused on Europe, so I was excited to get some Pearl Harbor. My guess is, as Hollywood history pictures go, it’s pretty accurate to what was known at the time, at least in shape. Have a feeling reality involved a more salty language.

It’s an excellent movie, even though there’s a lot of very wooden acting. Notable in that it’s 2½ hours, but didn’t drag for a moment until (ironically) the actual attack at the end. IMO, the technology wasn’t quite ready to make something like that compelling for 20 solid minutes.



     
subego  (op)
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Feb 11, 2023, 01:46 AM
 
Big Bug

Ehhhhhhh… another borderline which just barely makes it past crap. Gaudy satire about a gaudy future from the guy who did Amelie. That one was better. Some clever ideas, but not enough of them, and kind of self indulgent. The aesthetics are nice though, and the robots are well cast.

I didn’t regret watching it, but I can’t really recommend it. Did I say Amelie is better?


     
subego  (op)
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Feb 19, 2023, 10:36 AM
 
Paddington

Holy shit awesome.



     
subego  (op)
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Feb 23, 2023, 11:17 PM
 
Standoff

Alcoholic, white trash, war veteran Thomas Jane and stone cold killer Laurence Fishburne have what can only be described as a standoff. The reasons it keeps ending in a draw are clever and plausible. Fishburne’s character is the weak link, but he shores it up by gnawing the everloving shit out of the scenery.



     
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Feb 24, 2023, 02:47 AM
 
If you go for political drama/intrigue movies, may I suggest: Nothing But The Truth (2008)

I enjoyed it - it kept me guessing until the end.

Main reason for suggestion: you may not have heard of it. It was scheduled for theatrical release, but the distribution company went bankrupt shortly before release. Sony was unable to recover the distribution rights. In the end, Sony had to release it direct-to-DVD in the US. So it's a movie that essentially vanished.
     
subego  (op)
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Feb 24, 2023, 07:37 PM
 
Irritatingly, it’s US region-locked out of Prime.
     
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Feb 24, 2023, 10:24 PM
 
Dog on Amazon Prime. Not complicated but nice moments.
     
Laminar
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Feb 27, 2023, 09:41 AM
 
Fantastic Mr. Fox

Fun, quick, engaging, kids loved it, very Wes Anderson. Kind of weird that in both this movie and Isle of Dogs, they made sure to mention that the attractive female animal character used to be slutty, but also that they're okay with it.

After watching that, wife wanted to rewatch the original George Clooney heist movie, Ocean's 11. Great movie, incredible soundtrack. Kids weren't impressed.
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 5, 2023, 11:58 AM
 
Birds of Prey

Better than most DC movies, which is a low bar indeed. Margot kills it. Generally feels like a comic book. Surprisingly, Ewan McGregor is the weak link.



     
Laminar
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Mar 6, 2023, 09:39 AM
 
I got totally lost trying to follow the DCCU. Every time I tried to look up what order to watch everything in and which remake is canon and which is thrown away all I found was people saying the movies were bad and not worth it, so I gave up. I'd watch them if they could stand alone, but I can't filter the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 6, 2023, 10:56 AM
 
For all intents and purposes, Birds of Prey is stand-alone. Everything relevant from Suicide Squad is recapped.

The first Wonder Woman is stand-alone, and is generally good.

I’m told Joker and the Pattinson Batman are good.

I’m also told Lego Batman isn’t bad.
     
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Mar 6, 2023, 11:01 AM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
For all intents and purposes, Birds of Prey is stand-alone. Everything relevant from Suicide Squad is recapped.

The first Wonder Woman is stand-alone, and is generally good.
Whichever Batman/Superman that had WW swoop in and save the day by punching a tank or something was a kickass moment. The rest of the movie was forgettable.

I’m told Joker and the Pattinson Batman are good.
Haven't seen Joker and I've completely lost track of post-Nolan Batmans.

I’m also told Lego Batman isn’t bad.
It's fantastic.
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 6, 2023, 11:19 AM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Whichever Batman/Superman that had WW swoop in and save the day by punching a tank or something was a kickass moment. The rest of the movie was forgettable.
I don’t think that’s the first one. It doesn’t have any other superheroes in it, and is (refreshingly) set during World War I.
     
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Mar 6, 2023, 11:23 AM
 
I think that scene was from Dawn of Justice, it's not a WW movie but she shows up to save the day.
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 6, 2023, 02:43 PM
 
Oh… more traditionally known as Batman v Superman.

This was a truly terrible movie. WW was by far the best part of it.

I recommend the first WW. It’s not brilliant or anything, but solid. Gal Gadot is well cast. Robin Wright kicks ass all over. I like Chris Pine.

What makes it stand out compared to most other DC movies is it doesn’t try to copy Frank Miller.
     
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Mar 6, 2023, 02:47 PM
 
I enjoyed Birds of Prey. Better than the first Suicide Squad which despite being well-cast was just kind of all over the place. Second suicide squad was better - not great but not interminable.

Agreed first WW was great (some quibbles with ending but gets a pass), second was vastly disappointing.

Lego batman, and the lego movie,
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 6, 2023, 02:58 PM
 
Agree the ending of the first WW is weak, and Suicide Squad is aimless. I didn’t actively hate it tho. Leto’s Joker was good (IMO). Never saw the second.
     
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Mar 6, 2023, 09:30 PM
 
Suicide Squad was supremely meh. I never cared for any of the characters, the story was average-at-best and it wasn't even good popcorn cinema.

I agree completely with Andi's opinion on Wonder Woman. They leaned too heavily on 1980s nostalgia, and while I am a child of the 1980s, that was a tad too early for me to have strong memories of culture, music and all that. My first musical memories are Michael Jackson's Thriller and whatever David Hasselhoff's abomination of an album was called (and Germans still get made fun on for liking it en masse).
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Mar 6, 2023, 10:06 PM
 
Yeah, the latest Pattinson Batman is actually surprisingly good. It’s relentlessly dark but I’m in for anything with Zoe Kravitz and Paul Dano, sign me tf up
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Mar 7, 2023, 10:36 AM
 
Originally Posted by OreoCookie View Post
Suicide Squad was supremely meh.
Which one? Was the second one a reboot or sequel? Which of the 14 Batman iterations is in this universe? Does it matter? Hence my issue with trying to follow DC.
     
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Mar 7, 2023, 10:36 AM
 
Originally Posted by ShortcutToMoncton View Post
Yeah, the latest Pattinson Batman is actually surprisingly good.
Was that the Batman that was actually Batman: Detective Pikachu with no actual Batman stuff?
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 7, 2023, 12:22 PM
 
Lego Asshole Batman

Yeah, umm. Wasn’t on the right wavelength I guess.
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 7, 2023, 12:35 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Was that the Batman that was actually Batman: Detective Pikachu with no actual Batman stuff?
The irony is Batman being an actual detective is virgin territory for DC movies.
     
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Mar 7, 2023, 05:40 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
The irony is Batman being an actual detective is virgin territory for DC movies.
This.

I only read Detective comics for my Batman fix when I was a kid because those stories were more-or-less about Batman being a sleuth. I can’t say I’ve cared for any of the movies.
     
subego  (op)
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Mar 8, 2023, 11:48 AM
 
     
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Mar 8, 2023, 02:18 PM
 
And none of them are as good as Batman the Animated Series.

     
subego  (op)
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Mar 12, 2023, 02:54 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Detective Pikachu
Never played a Pokémon game, but still had the urge to yell out the name of each one I recognized. I only let myself do it with Psyduck. Enjoyed the movie overall. Really liked the eastern-western mashup with the worldbuilding. The only part I didn’t like was the “earthquake” scene. That got old pretty quickly.



     
subego  (op)
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Mar 12, 2023, 03:06 PM
 
Ryan Reynolds two-fer.

The Adam Project

Really garbage story, but everything else is good enough it squeaks by. The cast is really good (Reynolds, Garner, Keener, Ruffalo). The kid is fantastic. Fun CG effects. Entertaining and cartoony fight scenes, so they won’t terrify the children. Has a nice heart. The main outdoor location feels like a set. Though a very impressive one.



( Last edited by subego; Mar 12, 2023 at 03:49 PM. )
     
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Mar 13, 2023, 10:48 AM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
In 2040 there will be another one which is just two hours of a black screen with a bunch of scuffling noises and the occasional growl.
I have plenty of more important things to do, if only I could bring myself to do them....
     
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Mar 27, 2023, 02:03 PM
 
Checked out Shaun the Sheep from the library, kids and I watched it last night. Looking it up now, I see it has a 99% positive RT rating, which is well-earned. There's no dialog in the movie, it's all grunts or vague verbal sounds to convey emotion. 5yo said it was the funniest movie she'd ever seen. 10yo couldn't stop laughing.



The movie came out in 2015. Weirdly, the movie's bad guy, a delusional, power-obsessed animal control officer, shows his ID badge and his name is "A. Trumper." For a movie written in 2011 and filmed in 2014, it seems awfully prescient.
     
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Mar 27, 2023, 02:05 PM
 
Isn't trump british for fart?

We have always loved shaun the sheep. There are dvds of the tvshow before the movie (and currently new ones also).

Have they seen Wallace and Gromit, especially The Wrong Trousers? A close shave introduces early Shaun.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_and_Gromit

I didn't care as much for the full movie Wallace and Gromit (curse of the wererabbit) but the early shorts are gold.

On a different note, we watched The Menu this weekend. At first it seemed a snarky sendup of old mysteries and culinary snobbery (knives out + cuisine) but things took a left turn. Excellent performances, visually interesting... no spoilers.
     
 
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