[subego]

Is My Husband GAY? | ChristWire

3) Feigning attention in church and prayer groups
Have you noticed a lack of interest in spiritual issues? Does it ever seem as if he’s just using church as an excuse to spend time around young men? Does he volunteer to mentor in all-male groups?

4) Overly fastidious about his appearance and the home
Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home. Does your man tweeze his eyebrows, trim his pubic hairs or use face moisturizers? Is he picky about brand name shampoos? Does he spend more time getting ready for a night out than you do?

Rule 8:

[ort888]

Does he frequently have sex with other men?


(link is dead)

[The Final Dakar]

I'm pretty certain my husband isn't gay.

[subego]

Originally Posted by ort888 

(link is dead)

Hmmm...

Works for me at the moment.

[subego]

Originally Posted by The Final Dakar 

I'm pretty certain my husband isn't gay.

Mine doesn't shave his pubes, so I think I'm in the clear.

[Oisín]

Yeah, mine hasn’t been to Asia for over a year, and he’s never sarcastic around his friends, so I’m pretty sure he’s straight as an arrow.

Kinda kills the sex life, but what the hell. Can’t have it all.

[finboy]

Originally Posted by subego 

Is My Husband GAY? | ChristWire

Rule 8:

I got a good chuckle from the sh*t on this website, but I can't believe that it's REAL. No way! It's got to be a spoof, right?

Tell me that the moron street preachers didn't learn how to run a website.

If you think that THIS is Christianity, no wonder some of you here have such a hard time with those of us on Team Jesus.

[Dork.]

Originally Posted by finboy 

If you think that THIS is Christianity, no wonder some of you here have such a hard time with those of us on Team Jesus.

So, you're saying that you shouldn't judge all the adherents of your religion buy what a few wackos (who you don't agree with) do?

Fascinating! There are other threads here that could benefit from this wisdom!

[OldManMac]

Originally Posted by finboy 

I got a good chuckle from the sh*t on this website, but I can't believe that it's REAL. No way! It's got to be a spoof, right?9

Please tell me you're joking!

[Kerrigan]

The guy who wrote that seems to know a lot about the gay lifestyle.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

The guy who wrote that seems to know a lot about the gay lifestyle.

Actually, he seems to know next to nothing about the gay lifestyle.

[screener]

Originally Posted by finboy 

I got a good chuckle from the sh*t on this website.

those of us on Team Jesus.

Meaning this site.

Team Jesus, geez, God awful slogan.

[screener]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

The guy who wrote that seems to know a lot about the gay lifestyle.

There's a post that brought a chuckle.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

The guy who wrote that seems to know a lot about the gay lifestyle.

Originally Posted by Oisín 

Actually, he seems to know next to nothing about the gay lifestyle.

OK, so which one of you is not really gay?

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

OK, so which one of you is not really gay?

I’ve often wondered about Kerrigan. He claims to be gay, but I think he’s really just in the straight-closet.

[subego]

Originally Posted by Oisín 

he’s really just in the straight-closet.

Peek in and see whether it's messy and unorganized.

[Doofy]

I think my cat's gay, but can't be sure.

Recently he's taken to sitting near my pillow and kneading my hair (which, it turns out, is the most effective form of backcombing ever invented) while I'm trying to get to sleep.
So, in light of this recent coming out as a hairdresser, I've asked him straight out whether he's gay or not and if I should be getting him some little leather chaps for his birthday. He simply replied "meow" and looked at me like I'm stupid.

Oh noes! What do I do?

[finboy]

Originally Posted by screener 

Meaning this site.

Team Jesus, geez, God awful slogan.

No, meaning the Christian site. Looks like something from Teh Onion.

I figured if the Middle East can have Team Allah then Team Jesus would work. I think I heard it someplace.

[finboy]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

OK, so which one of you is not really gay?

Neither one of them are gay, but their BOYFRIENDS are!

[dcmacdaddy]

Originally Posted by finboy 

If you think that THIS is Christianity, no wonder some of you here have such a hard time with those of us on Team Jesus.

Originally Posted by Dork. 

So, you're saying that you shouldn't judge all the adherents of your religion buy what a few wackos (who you don't agree with) do?

Fascinating! There are other threads here that could benefit from this wisdom!

Winnar!!!
PS: All Muslims really do hate us, dontcha know! ; -)

[brassplayersrock²]

Originally Posted by ort888 

Does he frequently have sex with other men?


(link is gay)

sdgh

[SpaceMonkey]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I think my cat's gay, but can't be sure.

Recently he's taken to sitting near my pillow and kneading my hair (which, it turns out, is the most effective form of backcombing ever invented) while I'm trying to get to sleep.

You have back hair?

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey 

You have back hair?

Only once a month.

[Gold99]

I found out he was gay before I married him. Yeah right I still married him.
You see I got a phone call from an ex-boyfriend of his. When I talked to him about it he denied being gay although he never once used the term gay or homosexual. I thought he was just experimenting.

LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION. If you think he's gay then he is. That's all there is to it. It just is. It doesn't mean either one of you is at fault. It just is. So move on because straight + gay just doesn't work in the long run; we were together for 9 years and even had a daughter. It just doesn't last.

[Laminar]

Oh my.

[Railroader]

Monique? Nah, the English is too good.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Gold99 

I thought he was just experimenting.

Contrary to the teachings of the politically correct, no straight man ever experiments. Ever.

There may be all the other signs there... ...likes interior design, uses face moisturiser, owns an iPad, is a moderator for MacNN, looks at your face when you're wearing a Wonderbra, etc.. None of these matter - the proof of the pudding is in the eating... ...straight men don't experiment with sausage.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

There may be all the other signs there... ...likes interior design, uses face moisturiser, owns an iPad, is a moderator for MacNN, looks at your face when you're wearing a Wonderbra, etc.. None of these matter - the proof of the pudding is in the eating... ...straight men don't experiment with sausage.

(Hey, I don’t use face moistureiser!)

[The Final Dakar]

Not the traditional kind, at least.

[Laminar]

Just the Nip/Tuck kind.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by The Final Dakar 

Not the traditional kind, at least.

Ooh, sassy!

Just the Nip/Tuck kind.

*whoosh*
Sound of joke flying over my head. Never saw Nip/Tuck.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Oisín 

Heh.

Originally Posted by Oisín 

(Hey, I don’t use face moistureiser!)

I do. A nice Dr. Organic Manuka Honey one. Works wonders to stop my face falling off (having one's face fall off isn't very attractive to the girlies). Oh, and bees gently alight to lick one's face, which is fun.

[Oisín]

^ But I don’t like bees.

And I don’t think I’ve ever had my face fall off. Doesn’t sound too pleasant.

[mrtew]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

Contrary to the teachings of the politically correct, no straight man ever experiments. Ever... ...straight men don't experiment with sausage.

That's not true any more than gay men don't experiment with the kitty. I've slept with several straight men and you can REALLY tell a guy is straight when you have sex with them... they are nothing like gay guys in bed. You may want to draw a bright line that you'll never cross but lots of straight guys have sex with other guys at least a few times.

[Kerrigan]

Messrs. Tew and Doofy both have valid points.

However, identity is conduct. Being straight, by definition, is to walk the straight line of sexuality. As soon as you put another's balls in your hand/mouth, you have veered from the straight path. Your conduct is no longer indicative of exclusive heterosexuality, and you can no longer consider yourself truly straight.

Doofy is right.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by mrtew 

That's not true any more than gay men don't experiment with the kitty.

HEY! Leave the kitty for those who know what they're doing with it!

Originally Posted by mrtew 

I've slept with several straight men and you can REALLY tell a guy is straight when you have sex with them

No you haven't... ...you've slept with several bisexual guys who're "gay virgins". A straight guy simply wouldn't contemplate jumping into bed with you.

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Kerrigan 

Messrs. Tew and Doofy both have valid points.

However, identity is conduct. Being straight, by definition, is to walk the straight line of sexuality. As soon as you put another's balls in your hand/mouth, you have veered from the straight path. Your conduct is no longer indicative of exclusive heterosexuality, and you can no longer consider yourself truly straight.

Doofy is right.

And as always, it comes right back down to definitions of ‘straight’, ‘bi’, and ‘gay’. By this definition, straight men are far fewer than if we count those who’ve drunkenly experimented and decided it’s not their thing. ’Cause the latter group probably makes up about, what, 20 per cent of all straight guys?

The same logic also reduces the number of ‘truly gay’ men by about half. Incidentally, Doof, does it count as experimenting if you’re just doing it for a laugh? I mean, perhaps not so much actually having sex with someone, but I’ve snogged girls just for laughs at parties—does that make me ‘experimental’ and therefore bi?

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Oisín 

Incidentally, Doof, does it count as experimenting if you’re just doing it for a laugh? I mean, perhaps not so much actually having sex with someone, but I’ve snogged girls just for laughs at parties—does that make me ‘experimental’ and therefore bi?

I wouldn't count snogging in it. Was thinking more in terms of bum fun.

Straight guy snogging another bloke for a laugh? Still straight - I can see the laugh factor.

Straight guy doing a blow and swallow on another bloke for a laugh? No, he ain't straight.


Know where I'm coming from?

[Wiskedjak]

Originally Posted by Gold99 

I found out he was gay before I married him. Yeah right I still married him.
You see I got a phone call from an ex-boyfriend of his. When I talked to him about it he denied being gay although he never once used the term gay or homosexual. I thought he was just experimenting.

LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION. If you think he's gay then he is. That's all there is to it. It just is. It doesn't mean either one of you is at fault. It just is. So move on because straight + gay just doesn't work in the long run; we were together for 9 years and even had a daughter. It just doesn't last.

Christwire following back link traffic?

[Oisín]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I wouldn't count snogging in it. Was thinking more in terms of bum fun.

Straight guy snogging another bloke for a laugh? Still straight - I can see the laugh factor.

Straight guy doing a blow and swallow on another bloke for a laugh? No, he ain't straight.


Know where I'm coming from?

Yup, just clarifying.

How about ‘gay for pay’, then (à la strippers, hustlers, adult entertainment performers*)? Abstract enough to count as straight?



* Or whatever the politically correct name for pr0n actors is this week.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Oisín 

How about ‘gay for pay’, then (à la strippers, hustlers, adult entertainment performers*)? Abstract enough to count as straight?

Not in my book. Sausage in mouth or botty* = gay/bi.

* I'd add hand to that but I don't think my sausage doctor is even remotely interested in interior design.

[mrtew]

I was thinking of dividing everyone into two groups, gay or straight, and saying that lots of straight guys have slept with men. But if you say that makes them bi I think that most people are bi. I don't buy the bi thing because I don't think that most of the straight guys would agree that they're bi just because they tried something. And I don't think that I'm bi just because I've probably slept with more girls than you dude. I think that people are what they say they are not what they are in "Doofy's Book".

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by mrtew 

And I don't think that I'm bi just because I've probably slept with more girls than you dude.

Originally Posted by mrtew 

I think that people are what they say they are not what they are in "Doofy's Book".

Yeah, yeah, heard it all before.

"I'm a vegetarian except when I eat chicken".
"I'm an anarchist except on Wednesdays when ER is on".

Still, a new one for the file:

"I'm straight except when I smoke pole".

[mrtew]

Well then according to "Doofy's Book", the title of this thread (Is Your Husband GAY?) and the article it cites with the same title and the dozens of articles that it cites with similar titles are impossible right?

No woman's husband can possibly be gay, right? The worst could do is become bi! No guy can ever turn gay, or realize that he's gay if he's ever slept with a woman, right?

And no gay guy can ever be "saved" by Jesus and go straight either... at most God will make him bisexual; which most gay guys already are according to "Doofy's Book".

My argument is that you're classifying most gay people and half of straight people as irreversibly bi because of one or two experiments at some point in their life.

[Doofy]

I have no idea what your argument is.

[Railroader]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

Contrary to the teachings of the politically correct, no straight man ever experiments. Ever.

There may be all the other signs there... ...likes interior design, uses face moisturiser, *owns an iPad, is a moderator for MacNN, looks at your face when you're wearing a Wonderbra, etc.. None of these matter - the proof of the pudding is in the eating... ...straight men don't experiment with sausage.

Crap! I thought my closet was too full of my wife's clothes for me to be in it.

I also own a 27" iMac, perhaps I am compensating elsewhere as well?

This has been a bad day to quit quaaludes.

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by Railroader 

This has been a bad day to quit quaaludes.

[subego]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I have no idea what your argument is.

I think what he's saying is that if you apply your metric of straightness to gayness, you have a situation where most of the people who call themselves gay (and lets face it, are actually gay by any reasonable definition) don't meet the qualification because they've had relations with the opposite sex.

As an example, the title of the article would be a misnomer. Her husband can't be GAY, because he's presumably thrown it in her at least once. Once he deviates from the path of gayness, there's no turning back. It's bi forevermore.

To put it in the same terms you used, "I'm gay, except for all those times I wasn't".

[Doofy]

Originally Posted by subego 

I think what he's saying is that if you apply your metric of straightness to gayness, you have a situation where most of the people who call themselves gay (and lets face it, are actually gay by any reasonable definition) don't meet the qualification because they've had relations with the opposite sex.

As an example, the title of the article would be a misnomer. Her husband can't be GAY, because he's presumably thrown it in her at least once. Once he deviates from the path of gayness, there's no turning back. It's bi forevermore.

To put it in the same terms you used, "I'm gay, except for all those times I wasn't".

Yes, I know what he said (even before he edited his post to make it clearer).

I have no idea why he's saying it. I'm not even bothering with the distinction between gay and bi - I'm talking about the difference between straight and not straight.

[subego]

Originally Posted by Doofy 

I have no idea why he's saying it.

He's illustrating a logical inconsistency, or a double standard, depending upon how you want to slice it.

The original phrasing may have been cryptic, but the conclusion he's drawing seems obvious.