Welcome to the MacNN Forums.

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > Non-Profane Insults

Non-Profane Insults (Page 2)
Thread Tools
OreoCookie
Moderator
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Hilbert space
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 20, 2005, 08:52 PM
 
Originally Posted by BlueSky
I tried that with a traffic-court judge once (really). Didn't work at all.
In my example I used someone who wants something from you. If you are trying to be arrogant (or insulting) to a judge, then I think you should wait until after the verdict
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
     
VxWolfxV
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Sunshine State
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 20, 2005, 10:03 PM
 
A guy i listen to on the radio in the morning likes to use "ass-clown"...
     
Kevin
Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 20, 2005, 10:06 PM
 
Originally Posted by Oisín


Hadn't heard this one before. Must remember.
I used to use it often in here.
     
rozwado1
Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Miami Beach
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 20, 2005, 11:05 PM
 
I use "no-talent ass clown"
     
Fred_Cokebottle
Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Jul 2005
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 20, 2005, 11:44 PM
 
boo boo head!
     
mojo2
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 01:26 AM
 
One word.

"Canadian."

P.S. It REALLY helps the effect if they are Canadian.

(The irony of all ironies is that I was born in Canada, I think. I have nothing against them at all. Fine folks. Fine country. Lovely flag. Stirring anthem. Great neighbor.)

Give petty people just a little bit of power and watch how they misuse it! You can't silence the self doubt, can you?
     
Rolling Bones
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Six feet under and diggin' it.
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 01:36 AM
 
"You are a terrorist supporter or a US hater!"

     
esXXI
Senior User
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Preston, England.
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 02:12 AM
 
Foreskin-nibbler.
     
Andy8
Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hong Kong
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 02:19 AM
 
"You cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters"
     
Andy8
Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hong Kong
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 02:20 AM
 
biscut head
     
Kevin
Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 08:10 AM
 
sperm gurgling vulva muscle.
     
Cubeoid
Baninated
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dead whale
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 08:11 AM
 
Lymph Guzler
     
Kevin
Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 08:12 AM
 
7 Toed Monkey Fister
     
Oisín
Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Copenhagen
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 08:20 AM
 
Klovnejakke med balletgalocher. Made it up m'self, some time in the 8th grade. Still makes people stare at me like I just fell down from the Moon.
     
mojo2
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 09:51 AM
 
I've never used it on someone (yet) but wouldn't it be just perfect to call someone a "Burp?"

Burp.

Cute enough to say to kids. Derisive enough to sate your frustration. Funny enough that it might catch on with others.

Burp.
Give petty people just a little bit of power and watch how they misuse it! You can't silence the self doubt, can you?
     
Y3a
Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Northern VA - Just outside DC
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 10:12 AM
 
Ass Canyon
Pud
Clown
Foole
Maryland Driver!
Ignoramus

Old W.C. Fields one:
GODfrey DANiels
     
Paco500
Professional Poster
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Berkshire, UK
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 10:55 AM
 
Ass Wookiee
     
Cubeoid
Baninated
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dead whale
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 11:30 AM
 
Ass Canyon.. heheheh.
     
Cubeoid
Baninated
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dead whale
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 11:31 AM
 
I'm inspired..

Ass-monkey
Ass-bastard
Ass-face
Ass-head
Ass-man
Ass-guy
Asser
     
acadian
Senior User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Upwind from Quebec...
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 02:10 PM
 
the coup de gras:

"$h*t faced ¢o¢k master"
people ruin everything....
     
olePigeon
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 1999
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 04:49 PM
 
Originally Posted by qnxde
Abuse Clerk: "What do you want?"

Client: "Well I was told outside that.."

Abuse Clerk: "Don't give me that you snotty faced heap of parrot droppings!"

Client: "What!?"

Abuse Clerk: "Shut your festering gob you tit! Your type really makes my puke - you vacuous, toffee nosed, mal-odorant pervert!"
M: Hello, I want to... Ooooh!
H: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
M: uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now..
M: Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
M: What a stupid concept.
"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
olePigeon
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Dec 1999
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 04:50 PM
 
Originally Posted by Cubeoid
I'm inspired..

Ass-monkey
Ass-bastard
Ass-face
Ass-head
Ass-man
Ass-guy
Asser
You forgot my favorite, ass-hat.
"…I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than
you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F. Roberts
     
rickey939
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Cooperstown '09
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 05:24 PM
 
Meany-head.
     
jonn804
Forum Regular
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Richmond, Virginia
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 05:44 PM
 
"Frack head" = "f**** head" ..... thanks Battlestar!
     
DeathMan
Mac Elite
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Capitol City
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 21, 2005, 09:14 PM
 
Bo-daggit
     
Mithras
Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: :ИOITAↃO⅃
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 12:58 PM
 
Come on people, respect your history! Consult the Shakespearean Insult Database:

How now, wool-sack, what mutter you? -- from Henry IV, part 1
Thou cullionly ill-breeding strumpet!
[Thou art] open to incontinency. -- from Hamlet
Thou crusty botch of nature! -- from Troilus and Cressida
[Thou] blunt monster with uncounted heads! -- from Henry IV, part 2

and the best one I read, though I really don't understand it:

Your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese. -- from All's Well That Ends Well
     
mojo2
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 05:47 PM
 
Once again, this is for use AROUND the little darlings as well as to be used ON them.

So, it has to be something they couldn't get you busted for.

It has to be something they can't mistake for something really bad, because they will say they THOUGHT you said a bad word even though you were careful NOT to say a bad word. So you can't even get close to obscenity.

Next, you want to use something where they aren't going to think you are a big DORK.

Long phrases said to a teen which have a reference to something beyond their IMMEDIATE frame of reference will render you a laughing stock the rest of the time you work there. The wrong word or phrase will ruin your chance of ever gaining or keeping the upper hand. They will be saying that phrase and making up all kinds of brutally funny put downs behind your back if you use the wrong one.

Here's two more which (in addition to "Burp") could be effectively benign but also surprisingly effective with the right delivery and/or the right time/timing.

Instead of BullShxx say, "BULL FROG" in front of the whole crowd when it's appropriate to do, in an instance of outrage, for example. Then, once everyone knows that BULLFROG = BullShxx, when you want to get the upper hand on any of the worst ones just call them, Bullfrog.

EVERYONE will know what you mean. EVERYONE will know you were able to 'swear' at him without actually swearing at him. NOONE will be able to do anything because you will have a toy bullfrog in your desk and a suitable story to explain why you are calling Johnny a BULLFROG.

You will be the envy of all the other teachers or whatever the adults are where you work. AND the kids will have to give you that look that says, yeah, Mr. XYZ, that was pretty cool.

AND the kid(s) you call BULLFROG will LOVE IT and will mind you!

It's a great word IF you use it right.

Another word to call a kid which you mustn't tell anyone what it means is CORN. Call someone just plain old, CORN.

As in, "a piece of corn in my poop."
Give petty people just a little bit of power and watch how they misuse it! You can't silence the self doubt, can you?
     
mac-kerouac  (op)
Forum Regular
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Princeton, NJ
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 07:01 PM
 
You folks are a most outstanding resource. I can't wait to use the nerf herder one. Thanks for the help. Keep them coming.
iBook G4 12"/640/60/Combo/AE
     
Rolling Bones
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Six feet under and diggin' it.
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 07:13 PM
 
I was warned by ghporter or whatever (a mod in the games forum I think) not to call a Mexican a Mexican.

This was in the pol forum.
     
storer
Mac Elite
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 07:21 PM
 
If you're young, Bogan works as an insult.

You could go to Shakespearean insults:
*You stuffed cloak bag of oats!
*You degenerate bastard!

Theres more, we studied them in English.
     
Stogieman
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 07:22 PM
 
Sheepshagger
Doofus
Hoochie
Fudge Packer
Oinker
Jabroni
Rudy Poo Candy Ass
Gaylord
Tard
Twat - (Thank you Dane Cook. )

Slick shoes?! Are you crazy?!
     
Rolling Bones
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Six feet under and diggin' it.
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 22, 2005, 07:38 PM
 
Originally Posted by Stogieman
Doofus
He's a member here.
     
mojo2
Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 23, 2005, 12:12 AM
 
Originally Posted by Stogieman
Sheepshagger
Doofus
Hoochie
Fudge Packer
Oinker
Jabroni
Rudy Poo Candy Ass
Gaylord
Tard
Twat - (Thank you Dane Cook. )
I would check with administration, your attorney and a few High School Seniors before I used these around kids:

Sheepshagger - Austin Powers lets us know the meaning of "shag."
Doofus - Commonly known insult.
Hoochie - VERY insulting, commonly known (esp. for black girls). Could get you assaulted.
Fudge Packer - VERY insulting reference to gays, commonly known.
Oinker - Commonly known insult to overweight people, especially hurtful to teen who might do ?? as a result.
Rudy Poo Candy Ass - ASS will get you fired.
Gaylord - Commonly known derisive term esp. popular among heterosexual teen boys.
Tard - VERY politically insensitive. Firing offense. Lawsuit bait.
Twat - VERY insulting. Firing/lawsuit offense. Could get you assaulted.

Jabroni - Might be ok. Never heard of it before.

If you value your job, your health, your reputation, your future income and possibly your freedom, I'd advise you to stay far away from these words around kids.
Give petty people just a little bit of power and watch how they misuse it! You can't silence the self doubt, can you?
     
Cubeoid
Baninated
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Dead whale
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 23, 2005, 12:23 AM
 
Bastard-face
     
ShotgunEd
Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2001
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 23, 2005, 07:59 AM
 
butt-munch
     
smacintush
Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Across from the wallpaper store.
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 23, 2005, 09:42 PM
 
Wop-eyed dog-felcher.
Being in debt and celebrating a lower deficit is like being on a diet and celebrating the fact you gained two pounds this week instead of five.
     
Ulrich Kinbote
Senior User
Join Date: Sep 2005
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 23, 2005, 11:47 PM
 
The best insults are those that the recipient feels, but cannot be sure, have insulted his intelligence. They leave him with a feeling of lexical inferiority (but he will smile, pretending to have understood), vaguely aware of having been insulted, but entirely unable to respond.

For this purpose -- depending very much on the person in question -- obsolete terms for mental retardation; psychiatric nomenclature and various foreign words may or may not be suitable.

It's a case of knowing your enemy.

For kids, cretin and dotard will probably do. While for your adults, you might try schwachkopf, or, shaking your head like a doctor making a diagnosis to himself, say: "a textbook phenylketonuric, very sad."
( Last edited by Ulrich Kinbote; Oct 24, 2005 at 04:47 AM. )
     
ShotgunEd
Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2001
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 24, 2005, 07:39 AM
 
re-re

being short for retard
     
slowspeed
Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 24, 2005, 08:04 AM
 
Aussie favourites...

Nuf-nuf
Wally
Drongo
Pelican
Galah

My vote is also with nerf hearder..... quality stuff
Slow Speed
"I put the moron in oxymoron"
     
ghporter
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 24, 2005, 08:38 AM
 
Originally Posted by Rolling Bones
I was warned by ghporter or whatever (a mod in the games forum I think) not to call a Mexican a Mexican.

This was in the pol forum.
As with almost anything, the way you say something carries a lot of meaning. Your post there was apparently intended to be derogatory and insulting-and it got in the way of what the whole thread was supposed to be about. I like to stay on one arguement at a time...

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
ghporter
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
Status: Offline
Reply With Quote
Oct 24, 2005, 08:43 AM
 
I must first say that I try to be extremely sensitive to the problems encountered by people with disabilities. But I have on many occasions mentioned that someone I wanted to insult belonged "on the short bus" or "in special class."

In my experience most developmentally or educationally delayed people know full well that they lag behind others and don't feel "insulted" when someone notices they do indeed ride the special bus and go to special classes. But maybe some supposedly "non-delayed" people could learn a bit about politeness and propriety from those who work hard in their special class.

All seriousness aside, I stopped calling people mud brains because I began to understand that at that point I was actually insulting mud...

Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
     
 
Thread Tools
 
Forum Links
Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Top
Privacy Policy
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:52 PM.
All contents of these forums © 1995-2017 MacNN. All rights reserved.
Branding + Design: www.gesamtbild.com
vBulletin v.3.8.8 © 2000-2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.,