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Kr0nos · 10:58 AM

Okay, I assume some of you have gotten laid in your lifetime, but if you had to do it all over again would you have waited until you've gotten married, or maybe you are still holding out for that special one in your life before you retire to the old people's home?

And those of you who don't feel like getting married, are you willing to live a life in celebacy?

ism · Feb 20, 2006, 10:54 AM

poll?

forkies · Feb 20, 2006, 11:00 AM

wow, first to vote.

learning about my & others' sexuality is just another part of living, so i think it might be foolish to abstain just so you can feel sanctimonious.

turtle777 · Feb 20, 2006, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

flamebait

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by what_the_heck

WTF? I simply asked some questions...if you're not interested, why don't you just post in some other thread?

Chuckit · Feb 20, 2006, 11:30 AM

I confess I've never been married, but by all appearances, sex is much more enjoyable than marriage.

JoshuaZ · Feb 20, 2006, 11:33 AM

I will say "Hell yeah" to this poll.

wdlove · Feb 20, 2006, 11:51 AM

Not till marriage.

ism · Feb 20, 2006, 12:01 PM

Waiting until marriage to have sex is like waiting for a drought to have a drink.

rparke1 · Feb 20, 2006, 12:17 PM

im not all THAT religious, but when it comes down to it, i'd rather loose it to someone that i love and have known for a long time and are gurenteed to marry. so teq. my answer is yes to sex before marriage IF it will be with the one im going to marry.

Millennium · Feb 20, 2006, 12:19 PM

Extremely unwise and entirely unnecessary.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 12:27 PM

Originally Posted by Millennium

Extremely unwise and entirely unnecessary.

What are you talking about? How can a thread be "unwise"? Or were you replying to the poster right above you?

SirCastor · Feb 20, 2006, 12:29 PM

I kinda wish that the no answer didn't imply that without intercourse, a person had to have some other means of sexual relief.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by SirCastor

I kinda wish that the no answer didn't imply that without intercourse, a person had to have some other means of sexual relief.

Why?

SirCastor · Feb 20, 2006, 12:51 PM

Because it's not true. I believe that engaging in sexual behavior prior to marriage is inappropriate. The answer somewhat suggests to me that a person either can choose to have sex, or to masturbate, as though it's something that a person can't go without. Like the choice of breathing through your nose or mouth, if you choose to avoid the one, you must do the other to survive.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 01:02 PM

Originally Posted by SirCastor

Because it's not true. I believe that engaging in sexual behavior prior to marriage is inappropriate.

Okay, then just check number 2.

Does this mean "castration" is an option for you, or do you fancy getting married before you turn 13? Because if neither of them apply, you are pron to spank the monkey now and then (not that there is anything wrong with that).

If you are some kind of monk, I seriously apologize.

Originally Posted by SirCastor

Like the choice of breathing through your nose or mouth, if you choose to avoid the one, you must do the other to survive.

Actually, yes, you would have to chose one or the other...unless you've found some way to suvive without breathing.

SirCastor · Feb 20, 2006, 01:39 PM

I did check #2.

With my breathing analogy, that's precisely what I was suggesting, that you have to use one or the other. Reading the question suggested to me that it was either one or the other, that a person couldn't avoid both. A person has to breath, a person does not have to engage in sexual behavior (of any kind) prior to marriage. I'm not saying it's easy, but it is possible.

I'm not a monk, I just have a different set of values.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 01:47 PM

Originally Posted by SirCastor

I'm not a monk, I just have a different set of values.

That's cool. Best of luck to you.

SirCastor · Feb 20, 2006, 01:58 PM

Thanks

FWIW, I don't judge anyone who has a different set of values.

Rolling Bones · Feb 20, 2006, 02:07 PM

Lost my virginity a 15 or was it 14.

Man, those were some heady daze.

wolfen · Feb 20, 2006, 02:14 PM

As someone who waited until marriage (passing up opportunities along the way) with someone else who also waited, I can definitely say there are strong pluses to that road. For every pro/benefit a "player" claims, there are multiple cons. With commitment there are extremely few cons, and I would argue there aren't any to someone interested in a lifelong partnership.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 02:19 PM

Originally Posted by wolfen

As someone who waited until marriage (passing up opportunities along the way) with someone else who also waited, I can definitely say there are strong pluses to that road.

Mind listing them? (Especially vis-a-vis the pluses that come with not "waiting")

Goldfinger · Feb 20, 2006, 02:22 PM

I can not see a single con when having pre marital sex. Waiting untill you get married is just beyond me. I don't care if you do wait but it's just...weird.

strictlyplaid · Feb 20, 2006, 02:44 PM

Well, there's the STDs thing, and the possibility of pregnancy. There are ways to mitigate the risk but nothing short of abstinence can 100% prevent it.

I'm cool with it either way, but I think I most agree with rparke1.

nredman · Feb 20, 2006, 02:54 PM

i had sex before marriage but after marriage i wish i would have waited - so i'd say wait

Ghoser777 · Feb 20, 2006, 02:56 PM

That reminds me of a joke:

An old married couple is sitting on their porch. The wife turns to the man and slaps him saying, "That's for 50 years of terrible sex!" The man turns and punches his wife in the arm, "That's for knowing the difference!"

ambush · Feb 20, 2006, 03:07 PM

i wish I hadn't lost my virginity to a horny latina.

Fred_Cokebottle · Feb 20, 2006, 03:16 PM

I think there is a big market for amnesia pills.

bboisvert · Feb 20, 2006, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

Okay, I assume some of you have gotten laid in your lifetime, but if you had to do it all over again would you have waited until you've gotten married, or maybe you are still holding out for that special one in your life before you retire to the old people's home?

And those of you who don't feel like getting married, are you willing to live a life in celebacy?

[FONT=Verdana]No, I wouldn't have. I do understand the importance of it on a society view. It’s much better to bring children into the world as a married couple and it limits the spread of sexually transmitted diseases greatly. But biologically this is against our very nature and personally I think those that use protection, that are faithful to one and only one at a time and birth control is used, I see little risk in having sex before marriage.[/FONT]

Salty · Feb 20, 2006, 03:28 PM

You certainly have a low view of people who abstain from sex. It's too bad you are so intolerant of those with differing life styles especially since so few of those actually expect you to do anything other than what you're doing.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

You certainly have a low view of people who abstain from sex.

Me? Not at all. It's the reasoning behind that choice which either bothers me a lot or not at all. Again, this is not about "abstaining from sex", it's about "abstaining from sex before marriage".

BTW, have you confessed yet? Enquiring minds want to know.

Salty · Feb 20, 2006, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

Me? Not at all. It's the reasoning behind that choice which either bothers me a lot or not at all. Again, this is not about "abstaining from sex", it's about "abstaining from sex before marriage".

BTW, have you confessed yet? Enquiring minds want to know.

Have I confessed yet? Anyway, the reasoning behind the choices that people make in regards to that sort of choice are very varied. Some people want to make sure that they have something intensely intimate with their spouse that they've never experienced with anyone else. That's my reason. And I noticed in my last post on the topic that you associated denying someone sex, with denying them love. That's hardly true.
The funny thing is that your view of sexuality is so culturally encapsulated it's laughable. I bet you think that the idea of marrying someone for romantic reasons is a tradition many hundreds of years old and has been the standard through out history eh?

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by Salty

And I noticed in my last post on the topic that you associated denying someone sex, with denying them love. That's hardly true.

Just a choice of words. I meant sex. I knew you'd jump all over that though.

Originally Posted by Salty

The funny thing is that your view of sexuality is so culturally encapsulated it's laughable.

Say what?

Originally Posted by Salty

I bet you think that the idea of marrying someone for romantic reasons is a tradition many hundreds of years old and has been the standard through out history eh?

No, it's actually only a few decades old (for most people anyway). Before that, marriage was largely a matter of priviledge and/or neccessity. In a way it still is, though the reasons for necessity have changed to a large degree, very few of them (when closely examined) being romantic in nature.

dark3lf · Feb 20, 2006, 04:11 PM

There is no incentive for a guy to hold on to his virginity.

DeathToWindows · Feb 20, 2006, 04:12 PM

I personally go for the view under Halacha that sexual intercourse before marriage is simply wrong. Ergo, I won't do it - but if other people want to, that's their choice, and I'll respect them for it.

euchomai · Feb 20, 2006, 04:21 PM

I'd like to think that there is a respect issue for the person you will marry. I didn't sleep around before marriage because I wanted to respect my future partner. Wether we like it or not, we carry around the baggage that we accumulated through our past relationships. I just prefer to not have so much baggage. Maybe I'm just not good at the "love em and leave um" philosophy.

The way kronos posted the poll makes it sound like a person that chooses to wait is an idiot. I don't appreciate that, it was a well thought out choice and I'm glad to have passed up other opportunities for the woman I'll spend the rest of my life with.

Kr0nos · Feb 20, 2006, 04:31 PM

Originally Posted by euchomai

I'd like to think that there is a respect issue for the person you will marry.

How would you "disrespect" the person you marry by having sex? That makes absolutely no sense to me.

Originally Posted by euchomai

...it was a well thought out choice and I'm glad to have passed up other opportunities for the woman I'll spend the rest of my life with.

How do you know this?

Chuckit · Feb 20, 2006, 04:34 PM

Originally Posted by euchomai

I'd like to think that there is a respect issue for the person you will marry. I didn't sleep around before marriage because I wanted to respect my future partner.

Did you also not kiss anybody else on the lips? That seems about equally disrespectful (as far as I can find any disrespect in premarital sex).

Fred_Cokebottle · Feb 20, 2006, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by dark3lf

There is no incentive for a guy to hold on to his virginity.

What do you wish for? May be Homo sapien version 2.5 can be made with this feature if it turns out to be a popular demand.

Kevin · Feb 20, 2006, 05:45 PM

This thread reminds me of an after-school special. Or started by someone in Jr High. Esp with the "Fu<k No"

SirCastor · Feb 20, 2006, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Did you also not kiss anybody else on the lips? That seems about equally disrespectful (as far as I can find any disrespect in premarital sex).

I tend to disagree, Kissing a person on the lips tends not to bond a person to another person in the intimate way that sex does. Sex is an expression of love to a partner, and the emotion, physical, and mental connection that comes with it is very powerful. The connection created between two people is an emotional bond which is difficult to break.

That's a personal reason why I feel like sex without love or commitment is so awful. It ignores the beauty of it, for the pleasure. For me, that commitment, or the expression of that commitment, is marriage. When a person is so reckless about what he (or she) does with something so powerful, he is destroying something that is important. It becomes commonplace.

Kissing is a personal thing too, but not to the same degree. I wouldn't try to kiss every girl I take out on a date. That's not appropriate, but kissing can be a way of expressing love too.

Monique · Feb 20, 2006, 06:32 PM

Of course I am for a lot of sex before marriage and after your marriage is over. For myself I wish I had made better choices.

Imagine a man that has never done it; he will never know how to satisfy his partner and since she is also a virgin she won't know that she can have some orgasm.

buffswin · Feb 20, 2006, 06:38 PM

I think it should be required to post a personal picture of yourself when you respond to this poll.

By the way -- would you buy a car without ever driving it??

moodymonster · Feb 20, 2006, 06:40 PM

I'd suggest hooking up with a slightly older woman - learn more...

Chuckit · Feb 20, 2006, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by buffswin

I think it should be required to post a personal picture of yourself when you respond to this poll.

Since only one woman has posted in this thread as far as I'm aware, I disagree.

Rolling Bones · Feb 20, 2006, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

Me? Not at all. It's the reasoning behind that choice which either bothers me a lot or not at all. Again, this is not about "abstaining from sex", it's about "abstaining from sex before marriage".

BTW, have you confessed yet? Enquiring minds want to know.

What do you mean by sex anyway?

IS dry humping and sucking on boobies OK?

Or are we talking a complete oil change?

I am curious yellow.

wdlove · Feb 20, 2006, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by DeathToWindows

I personally go for the view under Halacha that sexual intercourse before marriage is simply wrong. Ergo, I won't do it - but if other people want to, that's their choice, and I'll respect them for it.

I agree, it has to be a personal choice.

turtle777 · Feb 20, 2006, 08:00 PM

Originally Posted by dark3lf

There is no incentive for a gay to hold on to his virginity.

Fixinated.

(Just to add some more to the controversy)

wolfen · Feb 20, 2006, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by Kr0nos

Mind listing them? (Especially vis-a-vis the pluses that come with not "waiting")

I don't feel a tit-for-tat comparison would be productive. No matter how you say certain things, some of them will come across as judgmental.

Secondly, people nullify reality by stating "Well I never experienced" this or that, as though that makes a general statement untrue. An unrelated example: You can say AIDS is an epidemic in Africa and it's killing thousands of people, and someone will follow with a post about how their uncle lives in Africa and he doesn't have AIDS. And? So? But people can sometimes accept that as some sort of impenetrable logical shield against the facts. Really it's just a convenient distraction from them.

Thirdly, I think a certain amount of age and self-awareness go a long way in understanding the issues of either choice. A 50-something with a large pool of life experience might see a young guy making mistakes and KNOW they're mistakes. The young guy will often think they're simply "choices." Would arguing the point help the young guy grow up any faster? Prolly not. I know I'm older than a lot of ppl on this board, and have been through a lot. Do I really wanna invite an argument from a 20 year old with a hard drive full of porn? Like I'm going to convince him to keep it in his pants? C'mon.

Lastly: put simply, lust blinds. We've all lusted after things that turned out to be less than we hoped. People who engage in hunger/lack as an actual lifestyle would be unable to relate to someone who embraces a life based on satiety.

Satisfaction cannot be discovered through continual reinforcement of lack.

Severed Hand of Skywalker · Feb 20, 2006, 09:05 PM

Looking at those poll results Jesus is turning over in his grave.