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bgmccollum · Dec 22, 2002, 02:41 AM

phil: steve, the figures are in. PM G4 sales are in fact down. this trend follow OS X sales and adoption rates as well.

steve: hmm...what should we do?

phil: shlt i dont know.

steve: why arent people getting new machines?

phil: cause their old machines work just fine. we made some really good shlt back in the day.

steve: ya, we sure did. those yose machines were top notch.

phil: ya...almost brings a tear to my eye.

steve: well, why arent people moving to OS X? i mean, we got some really cool names for all this useless technology. like aqua, quartz, and what-the-fuk-not. plus, we have all this lickable GUI shlt, and windows fly all the fuk around the screen. people should be eating this up.

phil: well, it seems that since we made such great computers back in the day, and OS 9 was so damn fast on those machines, people are just refusing to upgrade to OS X because it is so slow.

steve: well genius, what should we do?

phil: fuk if i know....

steve: i got it!

phil: well lets hear it hippie...

steve: ok, here is the plan. it begins with a new technology called quartz extreme. we offload the GUI processing to the graphics card, freeing up the processor. here is the catch. we make quartz extreme only work on the fastest machines.

phil: and how is that going to help us?

steve: hear me out...some people are bearing with the slowness of OS X, right?

phil: yes.

steve: so, we make the fastest computers faster, and the slower computers get no benefit from quartz extreme. then, over time, we add more and more GUI effects. this will never hurt the newer machines, but will slowly kill all the older machines.

phil: oh, i get it now.

steve: yes, we develop OS X to the point where only new machines can cope with OS X.

phil: whats is to prevent people from just going back to OS 9, cause it will always be faster.

steve: we just drop OS 9 booting on these new machines.

phil: holy shlt steve, you're a genius.

steve: i know.

phil: planned obseleting of machines. man i love you.

steve: back off homo.

phil: sorry.

snerdini · Dec 22, 2002, 02:48 AM

You're funny.

SupahCoolX · Dec 22, 2002, 03:22 AM

Fe Fi Fo Fum! I smell the blood of a Troll!

I, for one, am totally pleased with OSX in just about every way. I also think it performs well on my 600mhz iBook.

smic · Dec 22, 2002, 03:22 AM

that was frickin awsome

Targon · Dec 22, 2002, 03:28 AM

Jeer boyee, that is some good laughing entertainment ;-)

Angus_D · Dec 22, 2002, 07:21 AM

How can anybody find that amusing? It's not exactly original.

Kristoff · Dec 22, 2002, 12:14 PM

What's funny is that I am a programmer and I use OS X every single day on my Pismo 500 with 640 MB RAM.

My employer is so lame that they refuse to buy a mac for my development (java/j2ee).

They gave me a Dell 1GHz PIII with 512 MB ram running Windows 2000. That machine sucks. Explorer constantly freezes for arbitrary lengths of time. The disk thrashes every time you have more than a handful of apps open. Things crash for absolutely no reason at all. Performance of JBoss/Jetty and Forte for Java is marginally SLOWER than my pismo!

Perhaps it's time to upgrade your 200 MHz G3?

AKcrab · Dec 22, 2002, 06:27 PM

Originally posted by Kristoff:
They gave me a Dell 1GHz PIII with 512 MB ram running Windows 2000. That machine sucks. Explorer constantly freezes for arbitrary lengths of time. The disk thrashes every time you have more than a handful of apps open.

I'll second the disk thrashing with windows 2000. It's driving me nuts at work.

JLL · Dec 22, 2002, 06:32 PM

Originally posted by Kristoff:
Performance of JBoss/Jetty and Forte for Java is marginally SLOWER than my pismo!

I second that the performance of JBoss is much better on Mac OS X than on Windows.

Emotionally Fragile Luke · Dec 22, 2002, 06:35 PM

Is "poo poo" one word or two?

beb · Dec 22, 2002, 07:12 PM

um, what were Steve and Phil smokin?

undotwa · Dec 22, 2002, 11:52 PM

That gave me a laugh.

However, I'm under the impression that the reason why the new machines can't boot into 9 is because of motherboard changes and Apple can't be bothered writing new drivers for it because 'OS 9 dev is dead'.

Good thing to know Apple is keeping 1.25 Dual DPs for sale alongside the new machines for people who want OS 9 until June 2003.

SupahCoolX · Dec 23, 2002, 02:11 AM

Originally posted by undotwa:
That gave me a laugh.

However, I'm under the impression that the reason why the new machines can't boot into 9 is because of motherboard changes and Apple can't be bothered writing new drivers for it because 'OS 9 dev is dead'.

Good thing to know Apple is keeping 1.25 Dual DPs for sale alongside the new machines for people who want OS 9 until June 2003.

Yeah, at some point in the next year or two, it looks like Apple will make the jump to 64-bit processors. In that case, the software has to be written to be compatible with that. It just doesn't make sense for them to take the time/money to re-write OS9 at this point. OSX can be adapted, and it's the future anyway.

Thilo Ettelt · Dec 23, 2002, 02:44 PM

Originally posted by bgmccollum:
[...]

phil: planned obseleting of machines. man i love you.

steve: back off homo.

phil: sorry.

Pure comedy! Awesome!

Cheers, Thilo