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Y3a · 10:07 AM

I'm just getting out of one. VERY LUCKY I didn't marry this woman!

She dyes hair hair blonde, and claims to be blonde. She gets up at 5am to do her hair & make-up and get a quicky tub bath at 7:15am gets dressed and gone by 7:20.

She hates her job, and comes home, takes ANOTHER BATH, gets in her jammies and eats dinner(I prepared). I must walk HER dog in the evenings. She has a dogwalker do it during the day. She lays on the couch and doesn't want me to look at her as we eat.

We've NEVER had house guests because my black sofa is cloth, hers in leather, and she's embarrassed because it doesn't match!! NO GUESTS in 16 months.

Her folks love her dog, but the dog has to be taken there to them or they meet me at the local iHop. The dog must sleep between us so getting close is difficult. She won't fool around on the couch - the dog will see. The dog has over 200 toys. Eats baked chicken, rice and veggies mixed. Gormet dog treats only. Dog has rain coat, halloween costumes and christmas collar with bells, and even a mood stone collar! Dog gets loud kisses every morning. I get ZERO.

We've fought over stupid stuff like me flipping channels when she was asleep, and I was watching American Chopper when she woke up and went to bed, slamming the BR door saying she hated that program, it was too loud!?! She caught some feminine infection so we couldn't fool around for several weeks. She THEN had her period, and then after all that, never told me when she was better. She kept telling ME that she didn't thing the meds fixed the 1st problem. THIS dragged on for another month. Then she was mad because I had no interest in her. I didn't wanna start what may not be able to be completed. She brought it up out of nowhere, and then slammed the BR door. I had to sleep on the floor of my office.

I had done a very high paying consulting gig, and sold my little townhouse to move in with her in a single level house so the DOG didnt have stairs to climb and I had a LOT of money left after all that, so I could take my time in getting a fulltime 'regular' job. She was mad becuse ALL the money wasn't for her to spend decorating the house. She spent $3K on the bedroom, $5K on the dining room, before SHE got a job.

She quit the job because her bosses were playing 'mind games' with her. So she looked for another job, while I kept looking, taking the ACHDS class and test. She got her second job in Sept.

We went to counciling. didn't help. She was even more miserable. Didn't want to hardly talk to me until I was working a full time job.

When I did consulting My business partner would always find us work, but the former fiance' hated the partner, so I couldn't talk to her any more, or my best friend whos a big sales VP at a computer company. I couldn't use any of my network. She said I had to do it like the way she got her admin jobs. NOT to mention Mac's since nobody used 'em, buy a new suit, since a classy one from 2 years earlier was too old. Also I wasn't suppose to talk about techy stuff. Well I just took a job that I interviewed in my old suit, doing MAc support, and I had to talk tech stuff.

She tells her friends she DESERVES to be on a pedastal.
She says she's ENTITLED to things without being married.
She tells and screams and hits but never discusses problems we have.

What hideous relationships have you escaped??

keekeeree · Apr 1, 2006, 09:58 PM

And happy April Fool's Day to you too!

And in the off chance you were serious...I'm curious as to what kept you in a cohabitating relationship with this woman for 16 months?

I would have second-guessed the relationship as soon as I found out she had over 200 toys for her dog...

Kevin · Apr 1, 2006, 10:02 PM

Maybe those weren't dog toys.

Cody Dawg · Apr 1, 2006, 10:04 PM

I'm just getting out of one. VERY LUCKY I didn't marry this woman! She dyes hair hair blonde, and claims to be blonde.

For the record, it's BLEACH hair blonde. If she has white hair then yes, she ADDS color to hair...dyes it.

But if she has brown hair and is making it LIGHTER then it's BLEACHING her hair, see?

That always annoys me when people say "dyes her hair blonde."

keekeeree · Apr 1, 2006, 10:49 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

Maybe those weren't dog toys.

I think Kevin is onto something here...this would also explain the lack of intimate attention!

Kevin · Apr 1, 2006, 10:53 PM

BTW Y3a. learn to use paragraphs.

Stradlater · Apr 2, 2006, 02:04 AM

Y3a, that is difficult to sort through. All relationships are frustrating, my current one included. I guess sometimes you just need to step up and confront or conflict.

brassplayersrock² · Apr 2, 2006, 02:45 AM

yuo were the steppee weretn yuo?

turtle777 · Apr 3, 2006, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by Kevin

BTW Y3a. learn to use paragraphs.

Gosh, I didn't even read it because of that. What a waste of letters...

-t

volcano · Apr 3, 2006, 02:30 AM

Originally Posted by what_the_heck

Gosh, I didn't even read it because of that. What a waste of letters...

-t

Same here. All I see is one gigantic blob of words.

I did catch the word 'iHop' (spelled as such) in there though, and it made me grin.

Spliffdaddy · Apr 3, 2006, 03:17 AM

What? You can't read words?

It's the same amount of words whether or not there are spaces between the sentences.

geez. It isn't difficult to read if you know how to read.

Chuckit · Apr 3, 2006, 03:19 AM

therearegrammaticalandstylisticrulesintheenglishla nguageforareasonspliffdaddy.

Spliffdaddy · Apr 3, 2006, 08:06 AM

Because some folks have poor reading skills?

Look, the writer shouldn't have to provide the entertainment *and* spoon-feed it to you, as well.

Doofy · Apr 3, 2006, 08:24 AM

I get it now... ...Salty has stolen Y3a's paragraph skillz!

version · Apr 3, 2006, 10:38 AM

I'm in a horrid one just now

Dakar · 11:07 AM

You are only to blame for the sh!t you take from any woman. I say this knowing full well I've been led around by the balls before (and will be again).

Edited for preciseness

version · Apr 3, 2006, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by Dakar

You are only to blame for the sh!t you take from any woman. I say this knowing full well I've been led around by the balls before.

You're so right, but I never learn my lesson... my friends say I'm an easy target.. I'm actually sick of it, but trying to take time out from seeing women is hard for me, weird,

Mastrap · Apr 3, 2006, 10:55 AM

People who willingly stay in bad relationships only have themselves to blame.

(This of course excludes people who stay in abusive relationships because their sense of self worth has been so eroded that they feel they 'deserve' what they're getting.)

version · Apr 3, 2006, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by Mastrap

People who willingly stay in bad relationships only have themselves to blame.

Yeah, that is true. My problem stems from lack of self-confidence in that area. Not that I find it hard it to meet women, but I tend to accept the first thing that comes along, only to be gutted a bit later.

Latest example is meeting a girl quite far from me, way down in England (I'm in Scotland). I've never done the Net relationship thing, but this one time I did. For months we spoke, we grew together, shared many things then finally met. What a mistake that was. I should have booked into a B&B because she totally panicked when I got to hers (she's been single for years(. She couldn't handle me being around, I offered to go, and asked if it was me that was the problem - she said no, but having a male around was a big shock to her. She asked me to stay, and I did. It was pleasant but uncomfortable. She says she wants to take things slowly now, but it's so hard because of how we expressed things via the phone, met etc. and it feels like it's all gone now. But I'm giving her the space to get used to things, but it leaves me wondering.

I just wish I could meet someone who was uncomplicated etc,.

Doofy · Apr 3, 2006, 11:33 AM

Originally Posted by version

Latest example is meeting a girl quite far from me, way down in England (I'm in Scotland). I've never done the Net relationship thing, but this one time I did. For months we spoke, we grew together, shared many things then finally met. What a mistake that was. I should have booked into a B&B because she totally panicked when I got to hers (she's been single for years(. She couldn't handle me being around, I offered to go, and asked if it was me that was the problem - she said no, but having a male around was a big shock to her. She asked me to stay, and I did. It was pleasant but uncomfortable. She says she wants to take things slowly now, but it's so hard because of how we expressed things via the phone, met etc. and it feels like it's all gone now. But I'm giving her the space to get used to things, but it leaves me wondering.

I just wish I could meet someone who was uncomplicated etc,.

Nowt complicated about that. She didn't fancy you, simple as that. You can't argue with biological chemistry, no matter how much technology and the "but it's what's inside that counts" BS prevails.

Of course, it's actually a little more complex than that, since even the ugliest guy can get a hot chick when the correct attitude is applied.

version · Apr 3, 2006, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Nowt complicated about that. She didn't fancy you, simple as that. You can't argue with biological chemistry, no matter how much technology and the "but it's what's inside that counts" BS prevails.

Yeah, that's what I though too, but she's asking me to come down again. I asked her if that was it, but she said no. Now I'd have thought that was just her being polite, and unable to say it for a few reasons, but she's still blowing hot and cold. I'm just walking, though, too much of a mind****.

Mastrap · Apr 3, 2006, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by version

she's been single for years

No offence, but if that doesn't set your alarm off, then what does?

I mean, we all have times of non attachment and that's healthy and good for a while, but years is pushing it. There's usually a reason for that. Keep an eye on the bunny if you decide to see her again.

Chuckit · Apr 3, 2006, 03:19 PM

Good for you. I TLDRed the original post, but from the sound of it, you're better off.

version · Apr 3, 2006, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Mastrap

No offence, but if that doesn't set your alarm off, then what does?

Oh, there was quite a few things about her that kinda make me think... but those appeared a bit later after I kinda put my heart into it. She told me she lives in a bit of a fantasy world (mad); and she has been physically abused in a couple of past relationships. She suffers from major panic attacks.

Her reason for freaking out when I got there was that she'ss o not used to having another person around and wasn't used to sharing her space, but she just needed time. Now, I'm not one for being overly judgemental, especially when someone has had a **** life, but to be honest, I really don't need the drama in mine, I'm perfectly capable of wrecking my own head without her doing it.

Still, I know she's a bit messed up (her words), but I'm a sucker that way.

version · Apr 3, 2006, 03:25 PM

Originally Posted by Chuckit

Good for you. I TLDRed the original post, but from the sound of it, you're better off.

Cheers, but it's hard, though. Emotions, a bloody killer.

version · Apr 3, 2006, 03:26 PM

Y3a - apologies for the thread hijack.

Stradlater · Apr 3, 2006, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by version

Still, I know she's a bit messed up (her words), but I'm a sucker that way.

At the very least tell us she was gorgeous; I think many of us have been duped by a pretty face.

Stradlater · Apr 3, 2006, 03:28 PM

Originally Posted by version

Y3a - apologies for the thread hijack.

Y3a was likely drunk when he posted this. Perhaps he doesn't even remember it (he hasn't been back since he first created the thread).

version · Apr 3, 2006, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by Stradlater

At the very least tell us she was gorgeous; I think many of us have been duped by a pretty face.

yeah, she's stunning lol. My kinda girl, too. It's doing my head in how we went from total passion, love, deepest feelings to her being like someone I don;t know while she says she needs to gather her thoughts and take things slowly.

I do think she was genuinely taken aback by me coming into her world, she's a right wee nervy thing, and doesn't take any change easily.

Still, live and learn, but bugger knows what to learn from this, just want to know what really went on in her head.

version · Apr 3, 2006, 03:33 PM

Originally Posted by Stradlater

Y3a was likely drunk when he posted this. Perhaps he doesn't even remember it (he hasn't been back since he first created the thread).

lmao, so an atypical 'NN thread

Doofy · Apr 3, 2006, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by version

Yeah, that's what I though too, but she's asking me to come down again. I asked her if that was it, but she said no. Now I'd have thought that was just her being polite, and unable to say it for a few reasons, but she's still blowing hot and cold. I'm just walking, though, too much of a mind****.

Arhh... ...so she's mental then. Never mind. No real need to walk either - as long as you don't get to emotionally involved there's no harm in seeing where it goes.

version · Apr 3, 2006, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by Doofy

Arhh... ...so she's mental then. Never mind. No real need to walk either - as long as you don't get to emotionally involved there's no harm in seeing where it goes.

Haha, yeah. I'm trying to take my emotions away from the situation, not text her so much, etc. But when I don't, she gets upset I'm not talking to her. Yeah, this isn't good, I really don't need a mixed-up girl right now in my life - had too many of them before.

Still, my friend Becky is having a house-warming party this weekend, full of female teachers so might be the time for a little mischief, but I'm going to sort this out with the current girl first.

11011001 · Apr 3, 2006, 04:29 PM

Originally Posted by Spliffdaddy

Because some folks have poor reading skills?

Look, the writer shouldn't have to provide the entertainment *and* spoon-feed it to you, as well.

Lol, you're hilarious. Har har.

Todd Madson · Apr 3, 2006, 04:50 PM

I've been there and haven't looked back.

Someday you'll look back on this and laugh.

Okay, no you won't but you might.

Y3a · Apr 4, 2006, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by Stradlater

Y3a was likely drunk when he posted this. Perhaps he doesn't even remember it (he hasn't been back since he first created the thread).

I'M BAAAACK!!!

UPDATE:

Decided, after talking with her to "TRY AGAIN" . We agreed to never go to bed mad, and to share thoughts and impressions when we seemed to be heading for an agruement. We agreed to keep everyone else outta our beeswax if we had a dissagreement. we agreed to let everything that happened last year go away/be forgotten. We decided to try to get back the romance we had before 'the dark times'

We are both working to make sure we succeed. Life has been better.

dcmacdaddy · Apr 4, 2006, 10:07 AM

Originally Posted by Y3a

I'M BAAAACK!!!

UPDATE:

Decided, after talking with her to "TRY AGAIN" . We agreed to never go to bed mad, and to share thoughts and impressions when we seemed to be heading for an agruement. We agreed to keep everyone else outta our beeswax if we had a dissagreement. we agreed to let everything that happened last year go away/be forgotten. We decided to try to get back the romance we had before 'the dark times'

We are both working to make sure we succeed. Life has been better.

Did she agree to make you more important than the dog and his 200 toys?

Methinks you will be back on here in 6 months time complaining about her again and saying this time it is "for good".

Dakar · Apr 4, 2006, 10:12 AM

With the indictment you made of her I find it difficult to believe you'll be able to resolve most of those issues.

Stradlater · Apr 4, 2006, 10:23 AM

I'm with d & D; honestly, we expect a longer, even less intelligible post over how great things are in the relationship and why it's worth giving another go.

Kr0nos · Apr 4, 2006, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by Y3a

Decided, after talking with her to "TRY AGAIN" .

LOL. You gotta be kidding, right?! I just read your initial post and am still in disbelief you ever went out with her in the first place…wow.

Good luck…I guess.

Dakar · Apr 4, 2006, 10:32 AM

>We've NEVER had house guests because my black sofa is cloth, hers in leather, and she's embarrassed because it doesn't match!! NO GUESTS in 16 months.
>She tells her friends she DESERVES to be on a pedastal.
...and she avoids having nookie with you.

That alone would be enough for me to end a relationship. I don't care if its Tyra F'ing Banks, what's the point? This is the type of person I wouldn't be surprised if they cheated on me.

keekeeree · Apr 4, 2006, 12:42 PM

One thing about disfunctional relationships is it takes two to tango...

analogika · Apr 4, 2006, 02:45 PM

Originally Posted by keekeeree

One thing about disfunctional relationships is it takes two to tango...

Quoted for emphasis.

Originally Posted by keekeeree

One thing about disfunctional relationships is it takes two to tango...

And again, for emphasis.

Originally Posted by keekeeree

One thing about disfunctional relationships is it takes two to tango...

And again, because it's true.

Cody Dawg · Apr 4, 2006, 02:52 PM

Question: Why did you stay involved as long as you have?

Are you THAT lonely?

I feel sorry for you.

TubaMuffins · Apr 4, 2006, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by Kevin

BTW Y3a. learn to use paragraphs.

Gah! I can't read that, please spell long words phonetically (pho·net'i·cal·ly) and please don't use acronyms, thanks.

Y3a · Apr 4, 2006, 04:02 PM

Some of the reasons for our bad behavior are gone.

Cody, I lived by myself for over 15 years because I really don't like most people. She was a good friend until we started dating. We grew to love each other when both of us lived by ourselves, and we visited every 2-3 weeks for teh weekend. We were dealing with many changes, lots of stress, and now, finally things are starting to become 'normal'. We are both hoping this will help, and paying more attention to each other.

Todd Madson · Apr 4, 2006, 04:12 PM

The BS about no visitors due to mismatched couches and the dog emphasis - I knew
a couple (now broken up) who had just that problem.

They lived together for a few years and split up. Then they both met other people
and got married to those people. So it could lead to good things if it blows up.

ort888 · Apr 4, 2006, 04:14 PM

I stayed in a bad relationship for a long time because I really loved the person and was worried about what would happen to her if we split up. Well, we split up and she became a junkie. Good times.

At any rate, she has since pulled her life together and is doing well, so I'm hoping for the best. Even though we haven't been together for 7 years and I'm married, I still love her. Not like I love my wife, but more like a sister. Anyway, I'm not sure what the point of this is, I guess just that people stay in bad relationships for different reasons.

Spliffdaddy · Apr 4, 2006, 04:51 PM

Originally Posted by Dakar

>We've NEVER had house guests because my black sofa is cloth, hers in leather, and she's embarrassed because it doesn't match!! NO GUESTS in 16 months.
>She tells her friends she DESERVES to be on a pedastal.
...and she avoids having nookie with you.

That alone would be enough for me to end a relationship. I don't care if its Tyra F'ing Banks, what's the point? This is the type of person I wouldn't be surprised if they cheated on me.

Furthermore, after she cheated she would expect you to not be mad or upset because "I didn't do it to hurt you."

Run. Forrest. Run.

There's a pretty skirt-wearing redhead out there - with all her sanity intact. But you won't find her by playing second fiddle to some crazy chick's pet dog.

I'll tell you a secret. Go on a cruise. By yourself. It doesn't much matter where. Cruise ships are full of single girls and couples. There are like no single dudes. It's like having prom night for a solid week.