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Tips for Lying
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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1) Base the lie in as much truth as possible.
2) Resist the temptation to volunteer fake information
Those are pretty basic. Here's where it gets interesting.
3) Get mad. Most lies are meek. If you're angry, it totally throws people off the scent.
You're calling in "sick" to work. Don't sound sick. Don't be submissively apologetic. Get pissed about being sick.
As an aside, if your employee is calling in bullshit sick, offer to come by and bring them sickness appropriate remedies.
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Administrator  Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: California
Status:
Offline
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4) Run for office. If you are elected, you can be paid to lie.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Shaddim's sock drawer
Status:
Offline
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Are you trying to tell us something about your misadventures with jury duty? 
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"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a
nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character." - M.L.King Jr
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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No... but I may have bailed from a birthday party. 
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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Though, now that I think about it. An hour long drive each way may have played into my decision...
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: San Diego
Status:
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I thought this thread was going to be about paying people gratuities for lying.
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Games Meister  Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eternity
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by subego 
3) Get mad. Most lies are meek. If you're angry, it totally throws people off the scent.
Odd, I feel like when people flip-out over being questioned, that's a bit of a red-flag.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Isle of Manhattan
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by subego
1) Base the lie in as much truth as possible.
2) Resist the temptation to volunteer fake information
Those are pretty basic. Here's where it gets interesting.
3) Get mad. Most lies are meek. If you're angry, it totally throws people off the scent.
You're calling in "sick" to work. Don't sound sick. Don't be submissively apologetic. Get pissed about being sick.
As an aside, if your employee is calling in bullshit sick, offer to come by and bring them sickness appropriate remedies.
I usually resort to threats of physical violence. But your ideas are good too.
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"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by The Final Dakar
Odd, I feel like when people flip-out over being questioned, that's a bit of a red-flag.
You don't flip out at the person, you flip out at the sick.
"I... I... [coff] don't feel [coff] well... I'm sorry I can't come in."
Versus
"****! This is the worst time for me to get sick... I was supposed to do X and Y today, and now I can't do a goddamn THING. What BULLSHIT this is happening right now..."
Look at it this way. What would you be if you got sick on your day off? Pissed. Rule one is base your lie in truth.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Maryland
Status:
Offline
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5) Hit on people way more attractive than you.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Isle of Manhattan
Status:
Offline
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6) Look in the eyes, if by phone then use the force.
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"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
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Games Meister Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eternity
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by subego
You don't flip out at the person, you flip out at the sick.
"I... I... [coff] don't feel [coff] well... I'm sorry I can't come in."
Versus
"****! This is the worst time for me to get sick... I was supposed to do X and Y today, and now I can't do a goddamn THING. What BULLSHIT this is happening right now..."
The second guy is psychotic and needs to be medicated. When people get sick they typically lack energy. Getting angry costs too much energy. Your example underscores the red flag I was talking about.
Originally Posted by subego
What would you be if you got sick on your day off?
Why am I calling work if its my day off and I'm sick?
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Isle of Manhattan
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by The Final Dakar
When people get sick they typically lack energy. Getting angry costs too much energy. Your example underscores the red flag I was talking about.
how true
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"Faster, faster! 'Till the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death." - HST
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Shaddim's sock drawer
Status:
Offline
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When I used to call in sick to avoid work, which was pretty rare, I used the K.I.S.S. approach. I'd sound meek and miserable, keeping the conversation to as few words as possible. Basically, acting like all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed. It was so effective that one time I received an FTD bouquet and balloons as a "get well" gift, delivered to my home. 
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"I have a dream, that my four little children will one day live in a
nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character." - M.L.King Jr
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Games Meister Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eternity
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Cap'n Tightpants
keeping the conversation to as few words as possible. Basically, acting like all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed.
Bingo
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Just west of DC.
Status:
Offline
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maybe even claim you got it from someone at work, who SHOULD HAVE stayed home...
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by The Final Dakar
The second guy is psychotic and needs to be medicated. When people get sick they typically lack energy. Getting angry costs too much energy. Your example underscores the red flag I was talking about.
Depends on what you're sick with.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by The Final Dakar
Why am I calling work if its my day off and I'm sick?
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