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I'd rather have sex with a cactus than listen to more shopping mall Xmas music
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
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I just got back from grocery shopping, and I was thinking that come cactus love would be a pleasant departure from the Christmas music I was subjected to.
Somebody in another thread said that Christmas music after the 1950s is tripe, to that I agree whole-heartedly, with a few exceptions of course. I'm a big Sinatra fan, but I even despise listening to his renditions of Christmas songs - perhaps because they have been done to death.
If you want to hear good Christmas music, the way to do it is in its purest form - old school Classical/chorale performances, and by that I definitely exclude Pops stuff. I can appreciate the beauty and purity of these sorts of renditions (many are not sung in English), but everything else... ugh!
The worst is probably countrified Christmas songs... *Shudder* I'd rather eat that cactus after making sweet love to it and then poop it out than listen to this stuff!
I'm at the point where I may turn off NPR and start wearing ear plugs when I have to do any type of shopping... Does anybody else share my general sense of disdain for yet another crappy rendition of Frosty the Snowman or Jingle Bell Rock? I sure hope I'm not the only one...
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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Mac Elite
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Mac Elite
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I shop online to the festive strains of Led Zepellin. **** malls. And cactii are actually pretty cool to have sex with. They're succulents, don'tcha know.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Dec 2001
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The true joy of internet purchases during the holidays! avoid both crowds and the horrible music.
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climber
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
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Originally Posted by besson3c 
I just got back from grocery shopping, and I was thinking that come cactus love would be a pleasant departure from the Christmas music I was subjected to.
Somebody in another thread said that Christmas music after the 1950s is tripe, to that I agree whole-heartedly, with a few exceptions of course. I'm a big Sinatra fan, but I even despise listening to his renditions of Christmas songs - perhaps because they have been done to death.
If you want to hear good Christmas music, the way to do it is in its purest form - old school Classical/chorale performances, and by that I definitely exclude Pops stuff. I can appreciate the beauty and purity of these sorts of renditions (many are not sung in English), but everything else... ugh!
The worst is probably countrified Christmas songs... *Shudder* I'd rather eat that cactus after making sweet love to it and then poop it out than listen to this stuff!
I'm at the point where I may turn off NPR and start wearing ear plugs when I have to do any type of shopping... Does anybody else share my general sense of disdain for yet another crappy rendition of Frosty the Snowman or Jingle Bell Rock? I sure hope I'm not the only one...
No wonder, you broke rules 2 and 5.
2. Shop for all gifts online, thereby avoiding the shopping frenzy.
...
5. If possible, avoid all "modern" holiday music. In essence, most of the crap written after 1954.
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2003
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Clinically Insane
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That's why iPods and in-the-ear headphones are awesome.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
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Originally Posted by KeriVit
get over it.
I really don't need advice on how to cope with it, but thanks... It was just a playful (but sincere) rant.
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Mac Elite
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Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal.
Frosty the snowman is a fairy tale, they say,
He was made of snow but the children
Know how he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that
Old silk hat they found.
For when they placed it on his head
He began to dance around.
O, Frosty the snowman
Was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh
And play just the same as you and me.
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Look at Frosty go.
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Over the hills of snow.
Frosty the snowman knew
The sun was hot that day,
So he said, "Let's run and
We'll have some fun
Now before I melt away."
Down to the village,
With a broomstick in his hand,
Running here and there all
Around the square saying,
Catch me if you can.
He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop.
And he only paused a moment when
He heard him holler "Stop!"
For Frosty the snow man
Had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,
"Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Look at Frosty go.
Thumpetty thump thump,
Thumpety thump thump,
Over the hills of snow.
Everybody!
Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corncob pipe and a button nose, etc.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
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Hehhe...
How come Frosty the snow*man* doesn't have a penis?
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Well, I'm sure he'd be capable of accepting one.
Are you willing to give him one?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
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I could... What object do you think would be appropriate to use to represent his penis?
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: hamburg, germany
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I'll take upon me the horrors of modern Christmas songs as long as it's not "Last Christmas" by Wham ...
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
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Originally Posted by besson3c
Hehhe...
How come Frosty the snow*man* doesn't have a penis?
He does. Those stupid kids placed the carrot in the wrong spot.
Originally Posted by besson3c
Somebody in another thread said that Christmas music after the 1950s is tripe, to that I agree whole-heartedly, with a few exceptions of course.
This album was released in 1965. I consider it one of the few exceptions. 
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/M...97995&s=143441
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Slick shoes?! Are you crazy?!
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Originally Posted by Stogieman
Edit.
(
Last edited by Jim Paradise; Feb 28, 2010 at 07:29 AM.
)
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Mac Elite
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How about the St. John Passion, St. Matthew Passion, or B Minor Mass by Bach?
The "Crucifixus" movement from the B Minor Mass is powerful, and evil. It was written to describe Christ's crucifiction. What better music to listen to at christmas time?
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Addicted to MacNN
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hey it's matthewkane, Macgeek2004, macgeek2005, macgeek2007, hobbes5432, Melkin Rog !!!
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
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Yes, I'll definitely give a nod to Vince Guaraldi... The Charlie Brown Christmas album is pretty cool even though it is probably also overplayed.
I'm sure there are other exceptions too, it just seems like they are vastly outnumbered by all of the insipid crap out there that I would imagine people just eat up like it was candy.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2003
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Originally Posted by macgeek2005
How about the St. John Passion, St. Matthew Passion, or B Minor Mass by Bach?
The "Crucifixus" movement from the B Minor Mass is powerful, and evil. It was written to describe Christ's crucifiction. What better music to listen to at christmas time?
That would actually be more suited to Easter.
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Forum Regular
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, USA
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
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Originally Posted by besson3c
Hehhe...
How come Frosty the snow*man* doesn't have a penis?
Frosty's full name is Frosty Bobbitt.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Yamanashi, Japan
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Its everywhere in Japan as well. Any decent sized store. I can't escape.
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Professional Poster
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Location: Rochester, NY
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First of all, I suspect you enjoy having sex with cacti, so I believe the entire premise of this thread is moot.
However, let's turn this thread on its head (if for no other reason that it will make it more kinky) -- what makes good christmas music? One of the unique things I find about the Charlie Brown Christmas album is that it makes good background music, and doesn't get in the way of what you're doing, and yet is good enough to entertain if you're actively listening to it.
I think I know what makes bad christmas music: every other artist who decides that they're famous enough to have a Holiday Album now, and they sing the same old songs everyone else does, but with less feeling. All their fans buy the album because that's how the music industry works, and they mistakenly think they're one of the Legends of the Holidays now.
My wife has oodles of christmas albums, and in spite of the odds, most of them are listenable. I'll examine her collection later and let you know what the common threads might be....
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Tampa, Florida
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It's a conspiracy for you to buy Walkmans/Discmans/PMPs/etc. Don't you get it?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by The Godfather
It's a conspiracy for you to buy iPods. Don't you get it?
Fixed. Don't you know where you are?  
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It'll be much easier if you just comply.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2007
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I can see you're great fun at Christmas parties. 
Well Merry Christmas
While I avoid malls like the plague, I've learned to tune out the music. That is I wear my iPod, works great, I listen to the music I want to. Of course that selection usually involves Christmas Carols and other songs for the season
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Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
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Yeah malls and me don't get along during Christmas. Most of the stuff sold there is overpriced junk anyhow. Like a giant Spencer's store.
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Senior User
Join Date: Sep 2002
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how about Pearl Bailey singing "Five Pound Box of Money." From some album called Cool Christmas which I think was actually a Pottery Barn special one year.
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Senior User
Join Date: Sep 2002
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Eartha Kitt: Santa Baby
I lost all my itunes playlists somehow (kitten on the keys?) so I'm not sorting through the collection very well.
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Mac Elite
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Addicted to MacNN
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Things went downhill once they started releasing those Very Special Christmas pop artist compilations.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Baltimore, MD
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I can't believe it never occurred to me to just use my iPod... I guess I'll be wearing those little white earbuds a lot for the rest of the month. I wonder if I can get away with wearing them while visiting my mom for Christmas...
I just wish I'd thought of this a year ago so I could have taken my iPod when I was forced to go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Sunglasses would have been nice too. And maybe a joint or two...
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2007
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The Wookie one is so tacky its hilarious
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: May 2001
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I was just at the supermarket and they were playing Christmas music. I was singing along and prancing around while I was shopping for food. What joyous music. The kids who saw me were giggling and smiling. I think they should play Christmas music all year long.
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Bush Tax Cuts == Job Killer
June 2001: 132,047,000 employed
June 2003: 129,839,000 employed
2.21 million jobs were LOST after 2 years of Bush Tax Cuts.
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Addicted to MacNN
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you know it's christmas in boston when you see a drunk homeless man staggering around the streets in a torn up santa costume
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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Originally Posted by Dork.
First of all, I suspect you enjoy having sex with cacti, so I believe the entire premise of this thread is moot.
Well, the one good thing about having sex with a cactus is that inside a cactus is a sort of salty yet delicious milk that always seems to come out of the cactus when we have sex... At least, I think it is from the cactus...
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
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Originally Posted by brassplayersrock²
you know it's christmas in boston when you see a drunk homeless man staggering around the streets in a torn up santa costume
"Ho, ho, ho, for a dollar I'll let you see Rudolph!"
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
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Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Status:
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What kind of cactus would you recommend?
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Baninated
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Not Dakar
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Dedicated MacNNer
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Mac Elite
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i hate those christmas songs too.
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{Animated sigs are not allowed.}
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Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
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Fresh-Faced Recruit
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Keep comin' guys, it makes me laugh!
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: yes
Status:
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itrush07: you must find porno funny then, huh?
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: planning a comeback !
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Besson doing Xmas shopping
-t
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: May 2001
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Whoa turtle, that's some cactus! Have been feeding it viagra, haven't you.
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Bush Tax Cuts == Job Killer
June 2001: 132,047,000 employed
June 2003: 129,839,000 employed
2.21 million jobs were LOST after 2 years of Bush Tax Cuts.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: planning a comeback !
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by hyteckit
Whoa turtle, that's some cactus! Have been feeding it viagra, haven't you.
Why you asking me, ask besson...
-t
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