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You are here: MacNN Forums > Community > MacNN Lounge > God Dammit! Warning: Low-level Cognitihazards

God Dammit! Warning: Low-level Cognitihazards
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subego
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
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Aug 14, 2018, 01:26 AM
 
If I have Borderline by Madonna stuck in my head, so will everyone else!
     
Thorzdad
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Location: Nobletucky
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Aug 14, 2018, 05:31 PM
 
You should grab yourself a little afternoon delight.
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
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Aug 18, 2018, 12:45 AM
 
I’m reading the SCP Foundation files, and this needs to be categorized as a low-level cognitihazard.

Test 003: oops, I did it again
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
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Aug 18, 2018, 11:06 PM
 
Test 005b: I said HEY! What’s going on?
     
andi*pandi
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Aug 19, 2018, 11:22 AM
 
That would work if I remembered more than one line from that song.
     
subego  (op)
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Aug 19, 2018, 11:58 AM
 
Test 005w: band on the run, band on the run, band on the run
     
Laminar
Posting Junkie
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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Aug 20, 2018, 12:41 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Test 005w: band on the run, band on the run, band on the run
That one got me.
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
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Aug 21, 2018, 05:46 AM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
That one got me.
Test notes: attempt to isolate whether success of 005w is due to repetition, or Paul McCartney.
     
subego  (op)
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Aug 21, 2018, 05:50 AM
 
Test 006a: say live and let die
     
andi*pandi
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Aug 21, 2018, 09:34 AM
 
Test 006b: Oobladie oobladah
     
subego  (op)
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Aug 21, 2018, 06:08 PM
 
Originally Posted by andi*pandi View Post
Test 006b: Oobladie oobladah
Test notes: suggest exploration of whether observed results (tentatively named the “Sir Paul effect”) can manifest due to proximity.
     
subego  (op)
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Aug 21, 2018, 06:09 PM
 
Test 007a: I read the news today, oh boy
     
andi*pandi
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Aug 22, 2018, 09:31 AM
 
No insult to the Beatles, but this song is infectious. Listen for the chorus toward the middle. Kids came home from camp with this song and it has staying power.

     
Laminar
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Location: Iowa, how long can this be? Does it really ruin the left column spacing?
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Aug 22, 2018, 10:36 AM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
Test notes: attempt to isolate whether success of 005w is due to repetition, or Paul McCartney.
Weird sidenote, in the last couple of weeks I've started telling Alexa to play the 70s Rock station, and this song came up. I'd heard it before but had no idea who it was, so I asked Alexa. That's when I learned that it's "Band on the Run," not "Man on the Run" like I'd always thought.

edit: Now you got me again.
     
andi*pandi
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Aug 22, 2018, 04:54 PM
 
I am a victim of my own tactics.

"I'm a golden boy, come here to enjoy... I'm the king of fun... let me show you how we do it"
     
subego  (op)
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Aug 22, 2018, 05:42 PM
 
ALERT: CONTAINMENT BREACH

A security team has been dispatched to your location. Please remain seated.
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
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Aug 23, 2018, 06:53 AM
 
Interview log 008a-1

Subject: Debrief of Agent ██████, only surviving member of Security Team Iota-5.
Interviewer: Dr. ███.


Dr. ███: Please state your name for the record.

Agent ██████: Golden boy.

Dr.: What?

Agent: I’m the king of fun.

Dr.: Agent ██████, can you hear me? [off microphone] Is this thing on?

Agent: LET ME SHOW YOU HOW WE DO IT!

Dr.: I’m a golden b<?\^

[DATA CORRUPT]
     
andi*pandi
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Aug 23, 2018, 07:46 PM
 
.

.

.
I'm a golden boy
     
subego  (op)
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Aug 24, 2018, 02:17 AM
 
BEGIN ENCRYPTED MESSAGE

You have received sitewide clearance for use of Procedure-05 NICKELBACK.

May God have mercy on you.
     
Laminar
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Aug 24, 2018, 09:14 AM
 
LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH

all caps
     
Laminar
Posting Junkie
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Aug 24, 2018, 09:49 AM
 
Well, I just played myself.

     
subego  (op)
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Sep 1, 2018, 12:04 PM
 
On ██/██/20██, the transmitter at Site-██ was enabled, and the following audio was recorded.


03:17:02 Screams from an unknown quantity of people are heard.

03:17:32 Loud, metallic banging is heard. Screams continue.

03:17:50 Banging reduces in volume.

03:18:05 Banging ends. Screams reduce in volume.

03:18:12 Silence.

03:18:16 A “pop” is heard, followed by the sound of liquid hitting a surface.

03:18:20 An unidentifiable voice says “put your right foot in and shake it all around. You do the h████ p███...”

03:18:22 Transmitter ceases functioning.
     
andi*pandi
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Sep 1, 2018, 06:34 PM
 
Subject A is immune to H-K mutation. However, clinical trial 783J achieved success with this:

why haven't you people ever heard of
closing the GODDAMN DOOR

The rest of the lyrics are lost to the wind.

Just those lines. On repeat. Then muttering.
     
Laminar
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Sep 4, 2018, 09:41 AM
 
some BODY once told me
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
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Sep 5, 2018, 05:19 AM
 
To: All Site Personnel
From: Site Director Dietz
Re: [URGENT] Revised Safety Protocol

In light of the results of experiment 211, all personnel are required to carry an M-322 BREAD THROWER, AUTOMATIC at all times. This has been shown to be highly effective at delaying infection.

Further, as outlined in Directive 1-665-12, we will be issuing all personnel a three (3) gram dosage of M-4119 SUGAR, BUTTERFLY, to be used with extreme prejudice.

Your cooperation is appreciated.


04-SEP-2018
DIETZ/ajc
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
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Sep 9, 2018, 03:39 AM
 
From: [REDACTED]
To: [REDACTED]
Subject: New Researcher

Please extend all courtesy to Dr. Astley. I needn’t remind you what a coup this is for the project.
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
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Sep 14, 2018, 03:33 AM
 
Excerpts from Test Log 512
Researcher: Dr. M. Watanabe
Subject: █. █. ████

Test 512g “Poker Face”
Test result: Subject requests researcher self-insert [REDACTED].

Test 512j: “We Didn’t Start the Fire”
Test result: Subject elaborately describes what would occur if research protocol did not require confinement by means of arm and leg restraints.

Test 512p: “강남스타일”
Test result: Subject claims extensive knowledge from the previous evening of researcher’s biological mother.


Test notes: Can we hire this guy? - Dr. Watanabe
( Last edited by subego; Sep 14, 2018 at 03:55 AM. )
     
subego  (op)
Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Chicago, Bang! Bang!
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Sep 30, 2018, 08:03 PM
 
To: All Site Personnel
From: Site Director Dietz
Re: [URGENT] Yeti Milk

Beginning October 1st, Yeti Milk will be made available in the cafeteria.

I do not make this decision lightly.

Your cooperation is appreciated.


30-SEP-2018
DIETZ/ajc
     
   
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