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Hawkeye_a · Jan 15, 2003, 04:09 PM

-"no soup for you"

-Kramer:are you sure you dont have a fax machine ? there's a lot of stuff in my apartment that i dont know about
Elaine:then maybe you have a fax machine.
Kramer:you just blew my mind.

KaptainKaya · Jan 15, 2003, 04:18 PM

(kramer in a sauna with old men) "Man, it feels like a sauna in here."

Ozmodiar · Jan 15, 2003, 04:22 PM

All I want is to get my 75� back, an apology, and for him to be fired.

-----

I don't want to give him a high-five! Then where does it end? It's like the wave at the ballpark; "air quotes"; the phrase Don't Go There.

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Mr. Kramer, as far as I can tell your entire enterprise is little more than a solitary man with a messy apartment that may or may not contain a chicken!

Kiddo311 · Jan 15, 2003, 04:22 PM

Without too much thinking, "I am Cosmo Kramer - the assman!"

Jansar · Jan 15, 2003, 04:27 PM

No question - "NO SOUP!" is by far the best (and most known).

--------

George finds a golf ball in a whale's spout (after Kramer earlier hit a ball into the ocean).

George
I just saved a whale today. A golf ball was stuck in its spout.

Kramer
Was it a Titleist?

George
Yeah, I think it was.

Kramer
A hole in one!

cube-dude · Jan 15, 2003, 04:27 PM

"Hello, and welcome to MovieFone!"
"Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"Who WOULDN'T want a pony?"
"You stole my Jesus fish!"
"It's a coffee table book about coffee tables."
"Give me back my marble rye!"
"The original title was 'War, What Is It Good For.'"
"Aren't you going to tell your parents you're alive?" ... "Ahhhh! They need the break!"
"They're real, and they're SPECTACULAR!"

davesimondotcom · Jan 15, 2003, 04:32 PM

"No soup for you!"

OR

Jerry, "Newman, Kramer, if you'll indulge me. According to your story Keith passes you and starts walking up the ramp then you say you were struck on the right temple. The spit then proceeds to ricochet off the temple striking Newman between the third and forth rib. The spit then cam off the rib turned and hit Newman in the right wrist causing him to drop his baseball cap. The spit then splashed off the wrist, Pauses IN MID AIR - mind you- makes a left turn and lands on Newman's left thigh. That is one MAGIC lugie!"

Jansar · Jan 15, 2003, 04:34 PM

"Let's create a show - about nothing!"

xi_hyperon · Jan 15, 2003, 04:39 PM

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

iNub · Jan 15, 2003, 04:46 PM

My favorite Seinfeld quote?

Seinfeld: "I quit."

vmpaul · Jan 15, 2003, 04:46 PM

Originally posted by xi_hyperon:
These pretzels are making me thirsty.

Oh man you stole that one. I was gonna say that.

How 'bout:
"As I rained down blows upon him, I thought there has to be a better way" - Frank Constanza on the origins of Festivus

vmpaul · Jan 15, 2003, 04:47 PM

"I'm the Master of My Domain"

Hawkeye_a · Jan 15, 2003, 04:56 PM

Jerry:Kramer !!!
Kramer: man.. i think i cooked myself.....stick a fork in me jerry...im done.
-----
Putty: Lets make out.
-----
Kramert:what do i need to talk for ? what blab to the neighbours about how george has a new fem-Jerry friend. Or to tell everybody at the coffee shop about how George is all mixed up in a perverse sexual amalgum of some girl and his best friend ?.... Now... i've done all that. Now it's time for silence.
-----
Elaine:look what i put on last month's catalogue. The urban Sumbrero.
Peterman:the horror.......the horror.
-----
Frank:Serenity now !!!!

Nonsuch · Jan 15, 2003, 05:03 PM

For me it'd have to be a George.

"My mother has never laughed ... ever. Not a giggle, not a chuckle, not a tee-hee."

"Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?"

"I�ve driven women to lesbianism before, but never to a mental institution."

"It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be."

xi_hyperon · Jan 15, 2003, 05:12 PM

Who told you to put a balm on!? I didn't tell you to put a balm on! Nobody knows what a balm is gonna do!

starman · Jan 15, 2003, 05:13 PM

"We're going to miss the Deathblow"

Mike

V · Jan 15, 2003, 05:18 PM

I'm back in business baby!

xi_hyperon · Jan 15, 2003, 05:29 PM

Elaine: "It shrinks?"
Jerry: "Like a frightened turtle!"

Gatorzx2 · Jan 15, 2003, 06:03 PM

*belly button voice: "Heeelllloooooooo, la la la."

"You'll be happy to know your cruizing straight to hell at no more than 3 mph."

"Giddy Up!"

cenutrio · Jan 15, 2003, 06:34 PM

......yada, yada

Nicko · Jan 15, 2003, 06:34 PM

yadda yadda yadda...

Nicko · Jan 15, 2003, 06:35 PM

Originally posted by cenutrio:
......yada, yada

lol you must have beat me by like 30seconds!

cenutrio · Jan 15, 2003, 06:36 PM

...Serenity now, insanity later

thunderous_funker · Jan 15, 2003, 06:37 PM

One of my favs is when George breaks up with Gwen:

Gwen: "It's not you, it's me...."

George: "You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."

Gwen: "Alright, George, it's you."

George: "You're damn right it's me."

Gwen: "Look, I was just trying to...."

George: "I know what you were trying to do. Nobody does it better than me."

Gwen: "Well I'm sure you do it very well."

George: "Yes, well, unfortunately you'll never get the chance to find out."

cenutrio · Jan 15, 2003, 06:39 PM

"Helloooooooooooou..."

Fun forum, I could spend my whole week here...

cenutrio · Jan 15, 2003, 06:42 PM

Don't worry, I won a contest...

When George was a hand model, and they asked if he could avoid gratifying himself...a winner...

clod · Jan 15, 2003, 06:44 PM

Originally posted by cenutrio:
Don't worry, I won a contest...

When George was a hand model, and they asked if he could avoid gratifying himself...a winner...

He later admitted that he cheated.

cenutrio · Jan 15, 2003, 06:45 PM

Please tell me in which one, I must see it!!

Originally posted by clod:
He later admitted that he cheated.

Cellery · Jan 15, 2003, 06:51 PM

Kramer: "I don't even work here!"

Corporate guy: "That's what makes this so difficult!"

---------

Kramer: "You can't handle this slicer. You don't even know where the meat goes."

Elaine: "Right there."

Kramer: "Where do you turn it on?"

Elaine: "Right there."

Kramer: "But where does the meat go?!"

cenutrio · Jan 15, 2003, 06:59 PM

These pretzels are making me thirsty...

tikki · Jan 15, 2003, 07:03 PM

Nothing beats Soup Nazi

Cubeoid · Jan 15, 2003, 07:45 PM

Newman: Hello..Jerry!

Jerry: Hello..Newman!

nredman · Jan 15, 2003, 08:31 PM

George to Jerry...

"Jerry...It's not a lie..if you believe it."

and when Jerry calls that woman doctor "pimple popper MD"

clod · Jan 15, 2003, 08:41 PM

Originally posted by cenutrio:
Please tell me in which one, I must see it!!

Either the last or second last episode when the private plane almost goes down.

mac-at-kearsarge · Jan 15, 2003, 08:53 PM

I'm surprised that no one as said this one:
"sponge-worthy"!

I forget the exact lines it was used in, but I remember that had me ROTFLMAO!

Cubeoid · Jan 15, 2003, 09:22 PM

Not exactly a quote so much as an event. Kramer taking the Merv Griffiths Show set from the garbage and setting up the show in his appartament. I can remember something like... "stop music now" from the tape recorder playing the theme music. Classic!

I almost fell of my seat when kramer was eating snacks and soda during the "commercial break" to the bewilderment of Jerry and Elaine.

Kramer taking the office job is another good one.

SOLIDAge · Jan 15, 2003, 09:53 PM

i can't believe these two havn't been snatched up!
---------------------

"Elane, how can you not like the English Patient?"
"How about: it SUCKED"

------------------

"I hate her like poison"-Mrs. Seinfeld

------------

Jerry: "The 7th grade class bumped my act"
George: "you got bumped from career day???"
Jerry: "It was a mix-up I'm sure..."
Kramer: "Sounds like they're screwing with your head"
Jerry: "Now why would a junior high want to screw with my head?"
Kramer: "Why does Radioshack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries?"

Footy · Jan 15, 2003, 10:28 PM

Putty: I use to be a germ-a-phobe. (then showing his necklace)

Elaine: What is that?

Putty: It's a germ.

I love Putty!

vmpaul · Jan 15, 2003, 10:36 PM

Originally posted by solidage:
i

Jerry: "The 7th grade class bumped my act"
George: "you got bumped from career day???"
Jerry: "It was a mix-up I'm sure..."
Kramer: "Sounds like they're screwing with your head"
Jerry: "Now why would a junior high want to screw with my head?"
Kramer: "Why does Radioshack ask for your phone number when you buy batteries?"

I love this one.

Hawkeye_a · Jan 15, 2003, 10:54 PM

Kramer:if you had told me 25 years ago that i would solve the world's energy problems, id think ur crazy(not exactly correct). ..... now lets push this giant ball of oil out the window.
--------------
Kramer: im at the corner of first and first..... how can the same street intersect with itself ?... i must be at the nexus of the universe.

Gene Jockey · Jan 15, 2003, 11:17 PM

"Death Blow: When someone tries to blow you up; not because of who you are, but because of different reaons all together."

"I choose not to run!"

"But I don't wanna be a pirate!"

"Here's to feeling good all the time."

--Josh

starman · Jan 15, 2003, 11:20 PM

"Die already!"

Mike

Hawkeye_a · Jan 16, 2003, 03:26 PM

Kramer: catfight ?

tie · Jan 16, 2003, 03:39 PM

"I thought you said people dressed up when they go to the opera?"
"People do. I don't."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Opera"

Seinfeld quotes

mac-at-kearsarge · Jan 16, 2003, 05:02 PM

I don't think anyone's mentioned another favorite of mine: "You're killing independant George!"

boardsurfer · Jan 16, 2003, 05:45 PM

My favotite is the Soup Nazi, but not at the restaurant. I like the last episode where he is testifying.

Lawyer: State your name please
Nazi: <states name>
Lawyer: Could you spell that?
Nazi: NO! <slaps hand on table> NEXT QUESTION!

I think it is hilarious that he snaps at the lawyer.

bosolevu · Jan 16, 2003, 06:01 PM

"If the van's a rockin', don't come a knockin'"

Hawkeye_a · Jan 16, 2003, 07:13 PM

Kramer: giddey-up.

boardsurfer · Jan 16, 2003, 07:15 PM

"That is one magic Loogie!"

starman · Jan 16, 2003, 07:27 PM

"Mulva?"

Mike