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Random Ridiculousness of the Day Thread (Page 21)
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And.reg
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Mar 21, 2019, 07:06 PM
 
     
Thorzdad
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Mar 21, 2019, 09:12 PM
 
He already had a gun. Why throw a shoe?
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And.reg
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Mar 22, 2019, 10:55 AM
 
There have been a few recent news stories about Taco Bell's hot sauce coming to people's rescue.

1. First, the story about the man who got a year of free Taco Bell because he got trapped in his car for five days, so to feed himself, he lived off eating hot sauce packets.

2. Second, when another man inside of Taco Bell left his seat to go get more hot sauce, a car crashed into the building near where he sat

I'm a bit surprised that there hasn't been anything on Taco Bell's Twitter. They could brag about their hot sauces in light of recent news...
     
Spheric Harlot
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Mar 22, 2019, 04:54 PM
 
Originally Posted by And.reg View Post
Gruber points out that every single time something like this comes out about Facebook, it's inevitably WAY worse than they initially admit, to take the bite off the outrage.

He's betting 750 million.
     
reader50
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Mar 22, 2019, 05:18 PM
 
Techdirt has noticed that too. And it's not just Facebook. Public breech announcements almost always prove bigger than initially stated.
     
subego
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Mar 23, 2019, 03:27 AM
 
“I mean, it’s one pint of juice, Michael. What could it cost? Ten dollars?”

Eight dollars.

Grabbed it without looking because I assumed it would be priced like a pint of juice. Once I realized, didn’t want the hassle of going back to get something else.

But holy crap, it’s good. “Garden of Flavor” brand Appleade.
     
subego
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And.reg
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Mar 28, 2019, 09:10 PM
 
^ Well that is bizarre. Welcome to the party.

And:

Stupid is as stupid does! Michigan man catches on fire while burning leaves

Southern California woman has been arrested after deputies discovered her 96-year-old father living in a filthy home infested with up to 700 rats

This is Day 20 of the man who committed to drinking only beer for lent, he has already lost 25 pounds

Avocados are healthy, that is, until they get recalled for listeria

Maryland Slave's 200-Year-Old DNA Pulled From Tobacco Pipe


This is one of the most screwed up "pet store thief" stories I've ever read:
So, a man walks into "I Love My Pets" and asks about buying a rat and a 4-foot python. Then he steals the python by putting it in his pants, then pays $6 at the register to buy the rat, and walks out with both the python and the rat
     
And.reg
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Mar 30, 2019, 09:12 PM
 
Skunk face full in a can of Bud Light

The skunk was taken to a clinic and released
     
And.reg
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Apr 3, 2019, 01:43 PM
 
     
subego
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Apr 3, 2019, 01:50 PM
 
But what's concerning is that they found no other muscle or meat.
If they had, it kinda implies chopping up a horse just for the **** of it, no?

Without more to go on, that would be more concerning to me than doing it for a reason.
     
And.reg
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Apr 3, 2019, 02:35 PM
 
Let's just say that the investigator had a long face.
     
reader50
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Apr 12, 2019, 02:31 PM
 
Police in Oregon respond to an intruder in the house. They catch a Roomba that trapped itself in the bathroom.

No arrest was made.
     
turtle777
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Apr 13, 2019, 02:35 PM
 
British Comedian dies on stage during act.

The audience assumed it was part of his act.

-t
     
P
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Apr 15, 2019, 07:01 AM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
British Comedian dies on stage during act.

The audience assumed it was part of his act.

-t
I seem to recall this happening before, on TV even. Am I completely misremembering that?
The new Mac Pro has up to 30 MB of cache inside the processor itself. That's more than the HD in my first Mac. Somehow I'm still running out of space.
     
Thorzdad
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Apr 15, 2019, 11:20 AM
 
Originally Posted by P View Post
I seem to recall this happening before, on TV even. Am I completely misremembering that?
Well, there's Harry Einstein, who died immediately after finishing his act at a Friar's Club roast in 1958. Maybe that's who you're thinking of?
FWIW, he's the father of both Albert Brooks and Bob (Super Dave Osborne) Einstein.

Dick Shawn also died on stage (or immediately thereafter, I guess)
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subego
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Apr 15, 2019, 12:26 PM
 
     
P
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Apr 16, 2019, 03:39 AM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
This is the one. I remember seeing a Youtube clip of that, when he is joking and suddenly collapses. The entire audience first thinks it's a joke, but slowly becomes unsure.
The new Mac Pro has up to 30 MB of cache inside the processor itself. That's more than the HD in my first Mac. Somehow I'm still running out of space.
     
turtle777
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Apr 16, 2019, 10:20 AM
 
According to Wiki, he didn’t DIE on stage.

So that aspect might be a new record.

-t
     
Laminar
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Apr 17, 2019, 08:31 AM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
According to Wiki, he didn’t DIE on stage.
Where? Wiki says he suffered a fatal heart attack on stage. They tried to revive him backstage and he was pronounced DOA at the hospital. I don't see anything that rules out his actual death occurring onstage.
     
turtle777
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Apr 17, 2019, 04:37 PM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
Where? Wiki says he suffered a fatal heart attack on stage. They tried to revive him backstage and he was pronounced DOA at the hospital. I don't see anything that rules out his actual death occurring onstage.
You’re right, it doesn’t explicitly say so.

The way I read this sentence was that the death was not while on TV.

Cooper collapsed with a heart attack on live national television, and died soon afterwards.
“Soon afterwards” sounds like separation of time and space.
It’s an odd choice of words describing something that would have happened immediately after.

Example: “He performed on stage, and had dinner soon afterwards.”

You would not read this as having dinner on stage.

-t
     
subego
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Apr 17, 2019, 05:29 PM
 
My guess is “he died on stage” is a reasonable assertion, but if we start getting technical, it’s actually unclear.

“He had a fatal heart attack on stage” is a safe statement.
     
Laminar
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Apr 18, 2019, 08:18 AM
 
Originally Posted by turtle777 View Post
You’re right, it doesn’t explicitly say so.

The way I read this sentence was that the death was not while on TV.

“Soon afterwards” sounds like separation of time and space.
It’s an odd choice of words describing something that would have happened immediately after.

Example: “He performed on stage, and had dinner soon afterwards.”

You would not read this as having dinner on stage.

-t
"He had an amazing dinner on stage, and was full soon afterwards."
     
Spheric Harlot
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Apr 18, 2019, 09:02 AM
 
He's dead, Jim.

Stop flogging the comedian.
     
turtle777
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Apr 18, 2019, 09:24 AM
 
Originally Posted by Laminar View Post
"He had an amazing dinner on stage, and was full soon afterwards."
Yeah, nice try.

Becoming / being full is a direct and expected result of having dinner.
This explicit link would make the reader associate an immediate cause-effect relationship.

Dying is NOT a direct and expected result of performing on TV/stage.

-t
     
And.reg
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Apr 18, 2019, 09:56 AM
 
     
And.reg
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Apr 21, 2019, 06:08 PM
 
Here's how to claim a parking spot for your last-minute Easter shopping

If you got a Galaxy Fold for Easter, don't peel the film off

Speaking of using one's fingers, this Indian voted for the wrong person, and in anger, cut his finger off (link goes to story with photographs of bandaged finger)

Instead of giving the restaurant manager the finger, he threw his pet iguana at the manager

Man throws microwave, bar stools at Gray Line ticket booth

And why throw stuff at your neighbor when you can make people believe that his house is for sale? This Alabama man tried to sell someone else's house

Speaking of sales, Police sergeant sells official police gear on eBay and gets suspended

Trash pickup done wrong - "The program is for junk you have in your house, it’s not for your house....First time we have ever seen an entire house that was demolished and put in the street."

Aaaaand in bizarre news:

An appeal has been launched to help find a 'Tartan Barbie' psychic doll after it was stolen from a top Edinburgh tourist attraction

     
And.reg
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Apr 30, 2019, 03:47 PM
 
Which came first: Chickens, or comedy? Recent random and ridiculous stories involving chickens are about to get dropped:

KFC is selling a piece of the chicken it's never used before to boost its China business. The name of the piece was said in Mandarin and not translated in the transcript.
"This is the piece of chicken between the chicken wing and the chicken breast..."


According to the CDC report, the ingredient most likely to get you sick is chicken. :/


Man flees leaving ducks, chicken in a sack to police (article includes link to YouTube video)


Captured chicken lays egg in Sioux Falls police car


Police blotter from April 19
8:38 a.m.: A reporting party was concerned about a chicken at 651 S. East St. pecking at a dead squirrel in the road. Both the chicken and the squirrel were gone upon arrival.
     
subego
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May 1, 2019, 05:17 AM
 

     
And.reg
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May 1, 2019, 08:09 AM
 
I'm not sure which I find more amusing, that someone's creativity got an entire Chicago street shut down, or that you were up at 4am thinking about Chef Boyardee
     
subego
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May 1, 2019, 07:19 PM
 
4AM is the best time to be thinking of the Chef.
     
Thorzdad
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May 1, 2019, 07:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
4AM is the best time to be thinking of the Chef.
Unless you have an all-night White Castle nearby, of course.
When I want your opinion,-
I'll read it in your entrails
     
Chongo
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May 1, 2019, 07:29 PM
 
Originally Posted by subego View Post
4AM is the best time to be thinking of the Chef.
Hello subego!
     
subego
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May 1, 2019, 07:41 PM
 
Originally Posted by Thorzdad View Post
Unless you have an all-night White Castle nearby, of course.
Mine is only a few miles, but the McDonalds is 6 blocks and I’m impatient.

My White Castles deliver, though. Actually did that this morning at 9:30.
     
And.reg
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May 1, 2019, 07:51 PM
 
Elon Musk, we found another potential mission for SpaceX: Oregon Man Wants to Be the First Person to Launch His Cat’s Cremains Into Space

Drunk gets trapped in a tunnel that he dug under his ex's house so that he could spy on her

Remember Me... Man Kicked Out of Mom's House Flushes Grandparents' Ashes Down Toilet

The early days of Dumbo... Wild bull elephant lumbers into India's Guwahati

Congress hard at work: Lawmakers aim to reduce technical errors
Legislative leaders are examining how to reduce technical mistakes in the lawmaking process after
learning that one of the landmark education bills approved this year inadvertently dropped language setting minimum teacher salaries.


Here's a report for the fitness people out there: Clean Water Promotes Health and Performance

Now here's what gets me about hackers, I mean, they seem to know so much about computers and data, for instance, story published April 30, 2019 (here's a second take)
Hackers stole a ton of data from an IT company whose clients include Oracle, Airbus, and Porsche.
Now keep reading:
Bartsch added that all affected clients were informed of the attack, and that the company has not given in to the attackers' extortion attempts. The website reportedly said it would make the stolen files public on April 31.
     
And.reg
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May 5, 2019, 08:14 PM
 
He likes turtles, who doesn't...? Florida Man Sentenced to Prison For Smuggling Rare Turtles in Candy Wrappers and Socks


Fellas, don't fall asleep wearing your AirPods, you might eat one of them: Man accidentally swallows AirPod, still works after pooping it out

A man named Hsu went through this unusual experience when he went to sleep and somehow his right AirPod slipped its way into his mouth and down his stomach.
He was able to locate the missing AirPod using the 'Find My AirPods' feature. "I could hear the 'beep, beep' sound, which seemed to follow me around the room", says Hsu. After searching his room thoroughly he realized that the sound was coming from within his stomach and it suddenly dawned on him, "I swallowed my Airpod."
     
And.reg
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May 6, 2019, 07:37 PM
 
The all-electric car Tesla can do some pretty amazing things, like, go from 0-60 in under 3 seconds, or drive 370 miles before needing a recharge. Heck, even some Teslas can drive through flooded waters.

Well Tesla apparently rolled out two new safety features, which you can read about here:
https://bgr.com/2019/05/03/tesla-saf...ure-avoidance/

Here's a quote straight from the article, with my emphasis in bold:
The first feature, dubbed Lane Departure Avoidance, will detect when a driver starts veering into a nearby lane.

The second feature, dubbed Emergency Land Departure Avoidance, is designed to keep a car in its current lane...
So with this update, allegedly you can levitate your car in the event of an emergency. Sounds like something from the Fifth Element. A prelude to flying cars perhaps...?
     
subego
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May 6, 2019, 07:42 PM
 
     
And.reg
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May 10, 2019, 05:49 PM
 
     
And.reg
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May 12, 2019, 03:30 PM
 
Tesla Autopilot narrowly misses collision - by a hare

Oh speaking of watching out for animals, subego - check your washer for snakes

Screw the three-eyed raven, how about a three-eyed python
( Last edited by And.reg; May 12, 2019 at 04:21 PM. )
     
subego
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May 12, 2019, 08:24 PM
 
Originally Posted by And.reg View Post
Oh speaking of watching out for animals, subego - check your washer for snakes
That’s pretty adorable.
     
andi*pandi
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May 13, 2019, 10:43 AM
 
glad he lived!
     
andi*pandi
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May 15, 2019, 04:35 PM
 
I hear there's good business in making craft items with moose poop, so if passing it out to politicians doesn't work out, he can head to etsy.
     
And.reg
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May 17, 2019, 04:50 PM
 
I got a partially chopped robo voicemail with two attempts to call. So, I call back, and I hear a 3rd world accent reply, “This is the Microsoft Refund Center...” so I say, “I don’t use Windows, I use a Mac.”

Attempt to bypass my BS detector <- FAIL

Maybe I should have played him a little.

Then again, I hate industry-scale lying
( Last edited by And.reg; May 17, 2019 at 06:35 PM. )
     
And.reg
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May 22, 2019, 04:51 PM
 
Denver, Colorado just decriminalized psychedelic mushrooms
Denver becomes the first major American city to decriminalize psychedelic mushrooms

Drunk throws up a tumor, then swallows it again, thinking that it was an internal organ

A Restaurant in England Accidentally Gave a Customer a $5,800 Bottle of Wine

FedEx delivery men never know who's really at the door. Could be the recipient, or the recipient's dog barking, or maybe no one. Well how about a snake? FedEx driver finds a king snake on doorstep and redelivers the day after. (Turns out that the snake is non-venomous.)

Speaking of snakes, squirrel eating a snake...




A man has scraped his wedding and dumped his fiancee after she mistakenly let his dog eat chocolate and guzzle booze on the night of her hen do
The man also demanded that she tell the guests that she invited to the wedding that it was off.

Also an old story, which I somehow missed:
Man Tries to Cure Constipation By Putting a Live, 20-Inch Eel Up His Rectum
     
Jawbone54
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May 23, 2019, 10:45 AM
 
Just...where do you find this stuff?
     
Laminar
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May 23, 2019, 11:35 AM
 
I used to subscribe to /r/NotTheOnion and /r/offbeat and they had lots of these weird news stories, but most of them go to click-baity sites and the concept got old to me so I unsubscribed.
     
And.reg
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May 23, 2019, 02:18 PM
 
I try to mix up the search terms a little and not pick anything too political or widespread/well known.

But sometimes, stories just reveal themselves, quite literally.

Examples:

Man hiding meth and marijuana up his own butt accidentally shoots himself in the testicles

Three bears climb into a car in Tennessee




Yesterday I saw a man on a motor bike transporting three dogs, one perched on his shoulders. No story or proof...
( Last edited by And.reg; May 23, 2019 at 02:29 PM. )
     
 
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