GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken
is either
against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
JOHN KERRY
I voted to support the chicken crossing the road before I voted
against the
chicken. I do not believe the chicken should have crossed the
road without
the support of the French, Germans, and United Nations. Did I
mention I
have three Purple Hearts?
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
polluted by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on
the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it
was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that
somebody out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real
Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And
when I say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government
took from you to
build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the
price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
"other side."
That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we Boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."
DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross
roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together -
in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross
roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook and
internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of
chicken?
AL GORE
I invented the chicken!
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
THOU SHALT
CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken did cross the road, and there
was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
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