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macintologist · Feb 16, 2009, 05:26 AM

I'm looking for a non profit organization that is lame. ie. it doesn't really help needy people or animal rescue or anything like that.

Something really silly like, American Peanut Butter Association or something very un-glorious.

nonhuman · Feb 16, 2009, 08:37 AM

Peta?

besson3c · Feb 16, 2009, 09:21 AM

How about the American Peanut Butter Association?

Dork. · Feb 16, 2009, 09:38 AM

http://www.iteaonline.org/2008/index.php

Welcome to ITEA Online, website of the International Tuba-Euphonium Association. Officially founded in 1973 as the Tubists Universal Brotherhood Association, ITEA is dedicated to promoting and advancing the tuba and euphonium instruments. The organization comprises performers, educators, students, and amateurs of all backgrounds. As a non-profit organization, it is supported by membership dues and donations.

Buckaroo · Feb 16, 2009, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by macintologist

I'm looking for a non profit organization that is lame. ie. it doesn't really help needy people or animal rescue or anything like that.

Something really silly like, American Peanut Butter Association or something very un-glorious.

I kinda believe most animal rescue non profits like Peta, Green Peace etc. are lame.

SpaceMonkey · Feb 16, 2009, 11:25 AM

Membership associations, by definition, have a very limited constituency. That doesn't make them "lame."

Dork. · Feb 16, 2009, 04:54 PM

It does when they play the tuba. Or the euphonium, which is just a fancy word for "not quite as big as a tuba".

besson3c is the expert here on the subject of tubas, I'm surprised he hasn't sounded off on the subject yet.

besson3c · Feb 16, 2009, 05:26 PM

Is that a tuba or are you happy to see me?

That's all I got, for right now...

Oh wait!! ... Nope, I have nothing. You win this round, Dork.....or should I say Gerard (which is Dork.'s real name according to his profile on Linkedin). How do you like them apples?

Dork. · Feb 16, 2009, 05:37 PM

I see that my fake LinkedIn profile worked!

(In any case, if Tubas and Euphoniums aren't lame enough for you, do a search for membership associations like it, I'm sure you'll find some group with non-profit status that dos something lame....)

CharlesS · Feb 16, 2009, 05:44 PM

I don't think that association would be lame if you were a tuba or euphonium player... and since tuba and euphonium players are who the association caters to (and collects dues from), I don't see how you could call it lame - it could be a valuable service for the people it is intended for.

Chongo · Feb 16, 2009, 05:59 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

Peta?

If you want to donate towards helping animals, your money would be better spent going with ASPCA The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

nonhuman · Feb 16, 2009, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by Chongo

If you want to donate towards helping animals, your money would be better spent going with ASPCA The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.

No kidding, that's why I said PETA was lame.

A good friend of ours works for the MSPCA, that's where my donations would probably go.

SpaceMonkey · Feb 16, 2009, 06:02 PM

You wouldn't believe how often my tuba breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

Chongo · Feb 16, 2009, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by nonhuman

No kidding, that's why I said PETA was lame.

A good friend of ours works for the MSPCA, that's where my donations would probably go.

Opps my bad the OP WANTS a lame charity.

ACORN would be good. Planned Parenthood is another. Call them and they can guarantee that their money is directed towards minority abortions.

SpaceMonkey · Feb 16, 2009, 06:11 PM

We should probably distinguish between direct charitable organizations and other kinds of nonprofits.

ghporter · Feb 16, 2009, 10:38 PM

I'm just counting the seconds until this thread is either slammed closed or flushed into the PWL....

olePigeon · Feb 17, 2009, 02:01 AM

Well, there's the main Roman Catholic Church. Technically filed as a non-profit organization in the U.S., but the various diocese have estimated over $10 billion in assets alone. All tax free. That does not include however much money they collect in donations and indulgences (yes, some still collect indulgences.)

They do great not-for-profit work such as buy office building and sublease. In the name of God, of course.

Then there's the Church of Scientology. Sort of the same thing.

besson3c · Feb 17, 2009, 02:19 AM

Originally Posted by ghporter

I'm just counting the seconds until this thread is either slammed closed or flushed into the PWL....

I think the moment that Dork. mentioned "tuba" you should have tossed it into the PWL. Republicans hate tubas because they don't come with tax cuts.

SpaceMonkey · Feb 17, 2009, 10:04 AM

Originally Posted by olePigeon

Well, there's the main Roman Catholic Church. Technically filed as a non-profit organization in the U.S., but the various diocese have estimated over $10 billion in assets alone. All tax free. That does not include however much money they collect in donations and indulgences (yes, some still collect indulgences.)

They do great not-for-profit work such as buy office building and sublease. In the name of God, of course.

Then there's the Church of Scientology. Sort of the same thing.

Nonprofit ≠ non-revenue collecting

LegendaryPinkOx · Feb 17, 2009, 03:00 PM

Step 1. collect money
Step 2. not pay tax
Step 3. ???
Step 4. not-Profit!

design219 · Feb 17, 2009, 05:04 PM

Originally Posted by macintologist

I'm looking for a non profit organization that is lame.

Can we know why?

Dakar V · Feb 17, 2009, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by design219

Can we know why?

This took too many posts before it occurred. You're slipping, 'NN.

macintologist · Feb 17, 2009, 05:15 PM

It's for Mock Trial.

ThinkInsane · Feb 17, 2009, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by CharlesS

I don't think that association would be lame if you were a tuba or euphonium player... and since tuba and euphonium players are who the association caters to (and collects dues from), I don't see how you could call it lame - it could be a valuable service for the people it is intended for.

Sorry son, but that doesn't make it any less lame. It could provide an absolutely essential service to those it is intended for, but it is lame by its very nature.

CharlesS · Feb 17, 2009, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by ThinkInsane

Sorry son, but that doesn't make it any less lame. It could provide an absolutely essential service to those it is intended for, but it is lame by its very nature.

Why? What makes it lame? The fact that tuba or euphonium players are a minority?

By that standard you could claim that any organization targeting Mac users is lame, since Mac users are a minority also. Are Mac user groups, Mac developer conferences, and the like all lame because they aren't relevant to everyone? The thing about people is that they are all different and have diverse interests, and thus there are going to be organizations for people with those interests. And I don't see anything wrong with that at all. Just because something isn't useful to you doesn't mean it's not useful to someone else - if the people paying the dues to the organization are deriving some benefit or enjoyment from it, then they're getting their money's worth. And presumably they are, or else they would stop paying their dues, and the organization would not be able to continue to exist.

What I think would be a lame non-profit would be one that didn't properly serve its purpose to the people who are giving it money. For example, if you had a charity that took your money, but spent it all on overhead and used very little for the actual charitable purposes you intended the money to go to, that would be lame.

Dork. · Feb 17, 2009, 07:00 PM

Originally Posted by besson3c

I think the moment that Dork. mentioned "tuba" you should have tossed it into the PWL. Republicans hate tubas because they don't come with tax cuts.

But I thought they were in favor of euphoniums, because it's like a tuba after a tax cut?

besson3c · Feb 17, 2009, 11:05 PM

The problem with euphoniums is that terrorists like Al Queda and brassplayersrock play them in their secret lairs. I was reading on a secret webpage that playing a Bb on the euphonium in one of their lairs triggers this secret trap door. Either that or it was the Goonies.

justin666 · Feb 18, 2009, 10:31 AM

Try Peta

olePigeon · Feb 18, 2009, 04:55 PM

Originally Posted by LegendaryPinkOx

Step 1. collect money
Step 2. not pay tax
Step 3. ???
Step 4. not-Profit!

I don't think you need the ??? step.

olePigeon · Feb 18, 2009, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by SpaceMonkey

Nonprofit ≠ non-revenue collecting

Which is precisely why it's lame. You can get rich AND not pay any taxes on it just by inventing a religion.

Sure, you laugh, but look at Scientology. It's as a legitimate religion as Catholicism, but they have no qualms about admitting that money = happiness.

Religious organizations need to be taxed. They're thinly veiled corporations.

Lame.

SpaceMonkey · Feb 18, 2009, 05:13 PM

Maybe, but I was just struck by how your litany of complaints against the Catholic Church mostly dealt with how much revenue they collect, which completely ignores what the expenses of such a massive organization might be. Even if you look at their total assets (after you figure out which ones might be realistically liquidated or not), you have to assume a fairly conservative withdrawal ratio to determine what the actual revenue stream from investments might be for an organization that is designed to last in perpetuity.

If you had a completely liquid portfolio of $10 billion, for example, a conservative annual withdrawal from that might be $400 million.