[macintologist]

The in-law parents and relavtives keep asking me what's on my Christmas list. I keep telling them "I don't know" but the truth is I don't want anything for Christmas.

Sure, I'd love a brand new Macbook Pro and the 24" LED monitor. I'd love a brand new Toyota Camry. I'd love a 52" LCD TV. But those are too expensive to be a gift.

Anyone else feel this way? Wish the relatives wouldn't give you unnecessary clutter? Why do some people get so offended when you just want cash.

[dcmacdaddy]

Asking for cash seems a bit callous towards the giver's desire to do something nice for you--The pleasure of gift-giving really is in the giving. If you don't want any things, tell them so and leave it at that. if they decide to give you cash then take it, but don't ask for it. That's tacky.

[design219]

Yeah, man, don't ask for cash. That's cold.

[Big Mac]

You can just tell them that given the current exchange rates, dollars are a great thing to hold on to. But I agree, there's no proper way to ask for cash.

[MacGallant]

I totally don't want anything for christmas. . . not even cash. . .

Relatives and family friends could save their money instead. . .

Just dropping by to say hi would warm my heart in the cold December. . .

[turtle777]

Hey, you can always ask for Nothing.



-t

[Hawkeye_a]

I usually take a rain check if i cant think of anything. but asking for cash...nah....dont do it, the issue of amount is always sticky. Personally i prefer gifts(no matter how small) into which some thought was put into as opposed to something generic... like cash, ties, cologne, etc.

[ctt1wbw]

I can think of a better car than an American made trash Camry.

But no, I really don't want anything for Christmas. Maybe a new Macbook, but nothing in particular.

[Person Man]

Originally Posted by turtle777 

Hey, you can always ask for Nothing.

-t

Isn't ~$5.50 quite a bit to pay for nothing? Not to mention the shipping charges to the United States.

[design219]

Originally Posted by ctt1wbw 

trash Camry

You should own one before talking trash.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by macintologist 

The in-law parents and relavtives keep asking me what's on my Christmas list. I keep telling them "I don't know" but the truth is I don't want anything for Christmas.

Sure, I'd love a brand new Macbook Pro and the 24" LED monitor. I'd love a brand new Toyota Camry. I'd love a 52" LCD TV. But those are too expensive to be a gift.

Anyone else feel this way? Wish the relatives wouldn't give you unnecessary clutter? Why do some people get so offended when you just want cash.

Tell your in-laws exactly what you said above. "These things are way too expensive to be gifts. Thanks for thinking of me, but I can't think of anything material that I'd want for Christmas."

My wife and I talked this over several years ago, and we've decided that we're not going to buy into "Commercial-mas" ever again. Our son is an adult, and even when he was little, we didn't go hog-wild with gifts for him. But now he understands that this is more about principle than anything else. Big things like huge TVs and fancy new computers are not gifts among us, though they may be planned-for expenses. We give each other CDs or movies, books, the occasional game or framed print, but nothing big and nothing expensive. That's just not what we think of as "gifts."

[imitchellg5]

I would like a girlfriend. Also, a really awesome sig pic. But beyond that, no.

[Chuckit]

I will never ask for nor give cash. It's tres gauche. You're not even supposed to know how much somebody spent on a present — everybody knows what $25 costs. If I don't want anything, I'll just tell people that I don't want anything. If they still feel the need to give me something, well, hopefully it makes them feel good.

[Eug]

I would love to not get... or give... anything for Xmas.

However, we live in a culture in which people feel obliged to buy Xmas gifts. Damn annoying, esp. when you're not Christian. However, I've capitulated.

P.S. While asking for money is gauche, it's also the most practical. There is sure a lot of junk purchased for gifts at Xmas... or weddings... etc. If I ever get married, I will refuse to join a gift registry. Gift registries are gauche IMO anyway. So if they're both gauche, you may as well go for the more practical one: money.

Oh and gauche or not... when I give gifts, I often give money, in the form of gift cards. And guess what? Most people seem to really appreciate it, esp. the teens and stuff.

[brassplayersrock²]

so asking for cash is a no-no. What about asking for gift cards?

[Eug]

I think it's perfectly acceptable to ask for gift cards. I asked for those on my birthday, and my relatives ask for them at Xmas (and I give them).

I paid for part of my Xbox 360 with gift cards. I greatly appreciated those gift cards.


"his mother and me"

[Phileas]

Personally speaking, if you can't give a thoughtful gift, don't give a gift at all.

I find gift cards and /or cash gifts insulting and would have no problem refusing them. If you know me/care about me then you know what I'd like. If not, then don't bother giving me anything.

[Eug]

Originally Posted by Phileas 

Personally speaking, if you can't give a thoughtful gift, don't give a gift at all.

I find gift cards and /or cash gifts insulting and would have no problem refusing them. If you know me/care about me then you know what I'd like. If not, then don't bother giving me anything.

I'd find it insulting that someone would decline a practical gift, just because I didn't know that person's inner thoughts and desires every day of the week.

However, the end result is agreeable to me. I'd be perfectly happy not to give people gifts just because it happens to be a holiday.

[quesera]

Nothing here. I'm good. Oh, that whole peace on Earth thing, but don't go to too much trouble.

[ghporter]

Just a few weeks ago my wife and I had the chance to choose between "practical" (as in something a couple was registered for for their wedding) or "thoughtful" (a sentimental gift). We went "thoughtful" and it was a big hit. This DOES take knowing the recipient(s), but it's quite rewarding.

Because my extended family is so spread out and so ... diverse (I can get away with that!), we generally give stuff we know they like, which for this group at Christmastime is Smithsonian magazine (and sometimes National Geographic). Yes, we're a bunch of readers, but that's another example of needing to know your recipients.

[Eug]

One annoying thing is getting a "thoughtful" gift of stuff I already have. Yeah, they know me, but they don't know everything I own. Cuz really, how many people tell all their friends every little item they bought in the last year?

So, the advice some people offer is to give something the recipient might not otherwise buy. Well, that can be very strange advice. You know, often times they might not otherwise buy it, because they don't want it. Yes, it can really be that simple.

Thoughtful is great when it works, but practical always works (if the recipient is the type that likes practical).

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Eug 

One annoying thing is getting a "thoughtful" gift of stuff I already have. Yeah, they know me, but they don't know everything I own. Cuz really, how many people tell all their friends every little item they bought in the last year?

So, the advice some people offer is to give something the recipient might not otherwise buy. Well, that can be very strange advice. You know, often times they might not otherwise buy it, because they don't want it.

It can really be that simple.

Thoughtful is great when it works, but practical always works (if the recipient doesn't mind practical).

We have a friend who is HORRIBLE to buy gifts for. If it's something he likes, he buys it. Apparently, his momma never taught him to be nice to people by not buying everything he wants at Christmas and birthday time... So we sort of remind him "don't buy anything for yourself!!!" Now this guy is over 50 and has a rather technical degree, so he's neither naive nor stupid. He just doesn't think well sometimes... Getting him anything either practical or thoughtful is...difficult to say the least.

[Railroader]

I love receiving gifts. Even if I have duplicates or it normally wouldn't be something I'd buy myself.

Admittedly, I am a guy who is very hard to buy for. My hobbies are expensive, and I have most everything I need/want. My wife is great at finding me things I didn't know I wanted. And she is a frugal shopper and will spend less than $100 on me per year. I love buying her gifts. I almost always hit her size when buying clothes and she loves getting jewelry as well. Often, I try to get her little trinkets and such or photo albums and she loves those as well.

My wife's parents always ask for a list and will not buy anything off that list. That is a bit of chore, but it shows that they listen and care enough to get only what you want. Often we get gift cards from nice restaurants that we normally wouldn't go to. These are really appreciated.

There have been a few gift throughout the years that I would consider "clutter" or an internal "what in the world were they thinking?!??!". But a few of those gifts have become cherished gifts and things I hold very dear. My grandfather (who passed away in 1999) gave me a super-ultra-cheap pocket knife from the live-stock auction house he was working at one year. The blade looks like it would snap cutting yarn. And while I admit that I have never used the blade, it sits on my computer desk where I see it everyday and periodically I will carry it and every time I feel it in my pocket I think of him.

[Eug]

Originally Posted by ghporter 

We have a friend who is HORRIBLE to buy gifts for. If it's something he likes, he buys it. Apparently, his momma never taught him to be nice to people by not buying everything he wants at Christmas and birthday time... So we sort of remind him "don't buy anything for yourself!!!" Now this guy is over 50 and has a rather technical degree, so he's neither naive nor stupid. He just doesn't think well sometimes... Getting him anything either practical or thoughtful is...difficult to say the least.

Eh?

Are you actually being serious? (Not sure, just asking.) Cuz it seems ludicrous to criticize someone for paying his own money for stuff he wants.

In his case it would seem that gift cards would be the most logical.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Eug 

Eh?

Are you actually being serious? (Not sure, just asking.) Cuz it seems ludicrous to criticize someone for paying his own money for stuff he wants.

In his case it would seem that gift cards would be the most logical.

Yes, I'm serious. He is the kind of person who gives really thoughtful gifts, but seems to go out of his way to buy any and everything anyone might give him in return. It becomes very difficult to be polite in gift giving when the intended gift recipient gifts himself with everything. We're not "mad" at him, just frustrated that he doesn't "get" the whole protocol about gift giving.

[turtle777]

Originally Posted by Person Man 

Isn't ~$5.50 quite a bit to pay for nothing? Not to mention the shipping charges to the United States.

Hey, nothing is for free, not even Nothing.

-t

[Eug]

Originally Posted by ghporter 

Yes, I'm serious. He is the kind of person who gives really thoughtful gifts, but seems to go out of his way to buy any and everything anyone might give him in return. It becomes very difficult to be polite in gift giving when the intended gift recipient gifts himself with everything. We're not "mad" at him, just frustrated that he doesn't "get" the whole protocol about gift giving.

Hmmm... Well, I think this reinforces just how meaningless this "protocol" is then. Maybe we'd all be better off if we just didn't have this obligatory holiday protocol.

[macintologist]

If anyone wants to get me something, an Amazon gift card would be great. Kthx bye.

[64stang06]

I have a 2 year old so when I'm asked what I want for Christmas, I merely point out that I don't need anything and that if they feel they want to get me something, put the money towards a gift for my daughter instead.

[ghporter]

Originally Posted by Eug 

Hmmm... Well, I think this reinforces just how meaningless this "protocol" is then. Maybe we'd all be better off if we just didn't have this obligatory holiday protocol.

Excellent point. It's not that we even buy anything fancy for each other, but we do try to have something to give for birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas and so on. I just thought it was amusing (in a way that frustrates me and my wife) that this one person knows the game and plays it, but acts in a way that keeps others from playing it.

[Zeeb]

I try to be generous throughout the year by taking my friends out to dinner, buying them a drink, or even a gift at the time they indicate there is something they want that they don't currently have. Waiting until an appointed day (like Christmas) to randomly buy tons of gifts that go on my credit card is something I gave up long ago. I had a few friends who thought that a nice test of our friendship was to see if I could read their mind and get them the perfect "thoughtful" gift for them. They would never tell me what they wanted and if I didn't get the right thing they would pout for weeks because obviously if I were a good friend I would known what to get them. Thank God I'm not friends with those types anymore.

So, my gift at Christmastime is to bring some wine to a party, or throw a party or whatever. No more Christmas gifts received or given. I love Christmas now.

[Uncle Skeleton]

Ask them to bake you some cookies

[imitchellg5]

Oh BTW, it's great when somebody bakes you cookies or something at Christmas. I don't mind getting stuff like that at all (or giving).

[Andy8]

Just say No to Christmas.

[- - e r i k - -]

Originally Posted by Andy8 

Just say No to Christmas.

Bah! Humbug!

[Kenneth]

Originally Posted by design219 

You should own one before talking trash.

co-sign.

For Apple-related product, I will wait for MacWorld SF 2009; although I don't mind having another telly in my room.

[andi*pandi]

I asked for things, but what I really want are things done around the house. Knowing that will never happen, I'd like the things.

[Oisín]

I actually managed to think up (*) something I could use this year: pots and pans. Well, mostly pots. The ones I have all have only one handle or no lid, so they can be a bit of a bother to pour boiling from.

(*) When I say ‘think up’, what I really mean is that I happened to look at the mountain of undone dishes on the kitchen table just when my dad was asking me what I wanted for Christmas, and the sorry state of my pots struck me.

[nonhuman]

I've wanted and asked for nothing for Christmas (by which I mean that I've specifically stated that I didn't want people to give me anything not that there's nothing in particular I wanted) for probably around 15 years. Hasn't happened yet...

As far as the cash, or gift cards, or gift question: gift cards are really one of the worst possible gifts. It's like saying 'I don't really know you well enough to get you a thoughtful gift, but I also don't trust you enough to not go buy porn and booze with the money'. Additionally, gift cards generally result in the recipient overspending because the other option is to under spend and then be left with a $0.15 gift card that will probably just go in the trash which is exactly what the companies want to happen.

[Dakar V]

Originally Posted by nonhuman 

As far as the cash, or gift cards, or gift question: gift cards are really one of the worst possible gifts

It's true, but enigmatically, they're socially acceptable when cash isn't.

[nonhuman]

Originally Posted by Dakar V 

It's true, but enigmatically, they're socially acceptable when cash isn't.

Most of the time I consider that a sign that I'm doing things right.

[Dakar V]

Originally Posted by nonhuman 

Most of the time I consider that a sign that I'm doing things right.

I think the same thing when I'm taking a dump in the middle of a restaurant.

[Laminar]

I'd rather get a gift card than cash. With cash, I'm tempted to spend it on something responsible like gas, groceries, or rent, and I'll feel guilty if I splurge on something I don't need. With the right gift card, this isn't an issue.

[mattyb]

Is it that you don't need or want anything, or do you not need or want anything for Christmas?

I always need computer related stuff, blank DVDs, ink, printing paper, SD card, USB drive etc. I've been honest with my relatives and relatives of my wife and said what not to get so I'm pretty sure that it'll be a couple of jumpers, shirts and a book from the list of authors that I have already supplied

[mattyb]

Originally Posted by Dakar V 

I think the same thing when I'm taking a dump in the middle of a restaurant.

Before, during or after the meal?

[Dakar V]

Meal?

[mattyb]

Originally Posted by Dakar V 

Meal?

Bravo, very good.

[Railroader]

I dislike gift cards because they often cost me money. I hate that a store will get free money if I don't spend the whole portion of the card, and I hate carrying cards with ~$1.13 around with me all the time. If I get a gift card, I promptly use it and throw it away.

[macintologist]

That's why Amazon gift cards are great because you'll be back a 2nd time and the balance of your card easily carries over to the next purchase.

[Railroader]

I think giving cash is less tacky than Amazon.com gift cards.