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Now, here is another reason to grow breasts!
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Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Jul 2005
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"Forget neck-hanging MP3 players - the next generation of Zens, iPods and Walkmans could come in the form of breast implants.
So says BT futurologist Ian Pearson, who suggests one boob could hold the processing tech and the other could secret away flash memory to store titilatting tunes. A battery and USB port would be fitted in the underwiring of a bra and connect to the MP3 player through the wearer's skin.
Pearson adds that the technology behind mammary MP3s - plastic electronics - already exists and could also be applied to phones, cameras and health-monitoring gizmos. In addition to implants, we're promised gadgets the size of plasters that you could remove like a washable tattoo.
It sounds like madness, but Pearson is confident we'll adopt body gadgets. As he points out, Bluetooth headsets used to be irredeemably uncool - and now they're more common than Little Britain gags at Stuff towers.
Long-term, BT's future man expects body gadgets to supplement rather than replace our current handheld toys. So you'll still be able to fondle old-fashioned plastic iPods in 2010, too."
By Adam Vaughan
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 46 & 2
Status:
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She goes, squeeze me, come on and squeeze me
Come on and tease me like you do
I'm so in love with you
Mama's got a squeeze box
Daddy never sleeps at night
She goes in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out
'Cause she's playing all night
And the music's all right
Mama's got a squeeze box
Daddy never sleeps at night
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"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."
- Thomas Paine
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Administrator  Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: San Antonio TX USA
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Breasts have many uses and applications, but implanting electronics in them is not-to my way of thinking, anyway-one of them! Just say NO to data implants!!!!
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Glenn -----OTR/L, MOT, Tx
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Moderator  Join Date: May 2001
Location: Hilbert space
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I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
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Dedicated MacNNer
Join Date: Jul 2005
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I am all for it, I am bored with my flat hairy chest.
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Planet Express
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Well, at least the porn music can finally be skipped if the guy doesn't like it...
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2003
Status:
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Originally Posted by Fred_Cokebottle
I am all for it, I am bored with my flat hairy chest.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: SoCal
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This is actually pretty genius, imagine a breast implant with a pacemaker-esque device in it that had a small probe on the underside of the implant. It would scan for cancer causing or cancer produced toxins. The Pacemaker-esque device would have an RFID tag on it that could be scanned by yourself or by your doctor for early detection of cancer. This could revolutionize the prognosis of most breast cancer patients willing to implant themselves.
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Version 4.0 - Now Powered By iWeb
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Vladivostok.ru
Status:
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Originally Posted by iDriveX
This could revolutionize the prognosis of most breast cancer patients willing to implant themselves.
It's not about cansa! its about the music!
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_,.
a solitary firefly flies at nite
into the darkness an endless flight
a million flashes of delight.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jul 2003
Status:
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Apr 2005
Status:
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It would only be nice if you could use them to control the bitch's volume.
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Baninated
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In yer threads
Status:
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Nipples for speakers?
Would those be considered pillow speakers?
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Far above Cayuga's waters.
Status:
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wow, looks like women finally got sick of us not listening to them.
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Minnesota - Twins Territory
Status:
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this story was on the radio the other day...the dj's said someone (maybe Pearson) that now breasts can be made of good use..the dj said "they're good for boners".
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"I'm for anything that gets you through the night, be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniel's."
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Toronto, ON
Status:
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Originally Posted by MacNStein
She goes, squeeze me, come on and squeeze me
The Who 
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The Lord said 'Peter, I can see your house from here.'
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Moderator  Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: inside 128, north of 90
Status:
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oh great. Some man designed yet another uncomfortable bra. 
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Aug 2005
Status:
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Originally Posted by Fred_Cokebottle
"Forget neck-hanging MP3 players - the next generation of Zens, iPods and Walkmans could come in the form of breast implants.
So says BT futurologist Ian Pearson, who suggests one boob could hold the processing tech and the other could secret away flash memory to store titilatting tunes. A battery and USB port would be fitted in the underwiring of a bra and connect to the MP3 player through the wearer's skin.
Pearson adds that the technology behind mammary MP3s - plastic electronics - already exists and could also be applied to phones, cameras and health-monitoring gizmos. In addition to implants, we're promised gadgets the size of plasters that you could remove like a washable tattoo.
It sounds like madness, but Pearson is confident we'll adopt body gadgets. As he points out, Bluetooth headsets used to be irredeemably uncool - and now they're more common than Little Britain gags at Stuff towers.
Long-term, BT's future man expects body gadgets to supplement rather than replace our current handheld toys. So you'll still be able to fondle old-fashioned plastic iPods in 2010, too."
By Adam Vaughan
No scrollwheel. Just one simple button t tease.
Sweet!
Does it do cable?
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"Criticism is a misconception: we must read not to understand others but to understand ourselves.”
Emile M. Cioran
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Vladivostok.ru
Status:
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Why not try a minor laproscopic surgery and put the ipod shuffle (waterproofed) into the peritoneal space (abdomen) and have the USB 2.0 port open at the navel (where the umbilical cord used to be)? The cable can even hang out loose. This will look pretty wicked if you ask me. Imagine hot babes with amazingly well shaped tummies that have a little cable hanging out that swing as they walk!
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_,.
a solitary firefly flies at nite
into the darkness an endless flight
a million flashes of delight.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vacation.
Status:
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BT (British Telecom) futurologist Ian Pearson
Well Mr Pearson. I'd be quite happy with your company making an answer phone with more than 2 mins recording time per message. Like they used to.
Oh. And my phone bill lowered because they sacked their idiot "futurist".
And get your hands off my boobies you stupid geek! 
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Been inclined to wander... off the beaten track.
That's where there's thunder... and the wind shouts back.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Aug 2005
Status:
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Originally Posted by FulcrumPilot
Why not try a minor laproscopic surgery and put the ipod shuffle (waterproofed) into the peritoneal space (abdomen) and have the USB 2.0 port open at the navel (where the umbilical cord used to be)? The cable can even hang out loose. This will look pretty wicked if you ask me. Imagine hot babes with amazingly well shaped tummies that have a little cable hanging out that swing as they walk!
I'd go with XLR copper instead but eh! That's just me.
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"Criticism is a misconception: we must read not to understand others but to understand ourselves.”
Emile M. Cioran
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: I don't know anymore!
Status:
Offline
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Come on, folks. Where have you been? Steve's already ahead of you.
http://borowitzreport.com/
NEW SUPER-TINY IPOD IS IMPLANTED DIRECTLY INTO THE BRAIN
100 Million Americans Could Be Hardwired for Sound By 2008, Says Jobs
At company headquarters in Cupertino, California today, Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs introduced a new IPod so tiny that it can be implanted directly into the human brain.
The IPod Micro™ becomes fused to the central nervous system through a simple non-invasive surgical procedure that can be performed in any doctor’s office or at any Apple store, Mr. Jobs said.
The Apple CEO, who last week became the first to have the IPod Micro™ implanted into his brain, showed how music can be downloaded via a USB port discreetly located on the back of his neck.
Mr. Jobs said that the Micro™ can store up to 2800 songs and that the tracks can be shuffled by blinking one’s eyes or nodding one’s head, making it possible to listen to music in a classroom or at the office without anyone else knowing it.
He demonstrated by rocking out to the song “Let’s Get It Started” by The Black Eyed Peas, declaring the sound quality inside his head “awesome.”
While Mr. Jobs said that as many as 100 million Americans could be hardwired for sound by 2008, Sony Corporation CEO Sir Howard Stringer served notice that his company was rolling out a new, super-tiny PlayStation Portable™ that could also be implanted directly into the brain.
“There’s a lot of room in the average American’s head and we intend to fight for every square inch of it,” Sir Howard told reporters.
Elsewhere, thousands lined up to buy Powerball tickets when lottery officials announced that the grand prize would be a full tank of gas.
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Why is there always money for war, but none for education?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Yamanashi, Japan
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Kevin
Nipples for speakers?
Would those be considered pillow speakers?
But how would you change the radio station.... oh.. wait... nevermind.
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