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Clients from Hell
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2004
Status:
Offline
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Clients From Hell
I can relate to many of these.
I started to post this in the lounge, but it's primarily about graphic design clients.
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My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: inside 128, north of 90
Status:
Offline
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
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Wow. Reads like my entire working career.
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Cambridge, UK
Status:
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I always like client vs professional wars.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hong Kong
Status:
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I love the "Lost in translation" - absolute classic!
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2004
Status:
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The gay skeleton kills me.
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My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Copenhagen
Status:
Offline
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There’s something I don’t get about that site.
When you hover over the wee little arrow thingy (or the date) to the left of a story, it tells you there are “X notes”—I presumed these would be comments. Yet when you click on the arrow/date to see the comments, there’s nothing. No comments.
What the hell are the ‘notes’, then?
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Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Savannah, GA
Status:
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This is great. Thanks for the post. I can't read too many of them though... I'll start losing my confidence.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
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This one has been making the rounds lately. Thought it would be apropos here.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hong Kong
Status:
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
This one has been making the rounds lately. Thought it would be apropos here.
I laughed so hard I started to cry.
Excellent stuff indeed.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: here
Status:
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
This one has been making the rounds lately. Thought it would be apropos here.
I love the sliceless no pie chart.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2004
Status:
Offline
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My new favorite:
“I understand that you prefer to use photoshop, but we don’t feel like that program is universal enough. If you could do all of the design work in Microsoft Paint it would be easier for us to edit what you do and give you an idea of the changes we want.”
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My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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Wow. That's a good one. And completely believable.
My half-brother works for some company out in California that makes racks and portable mounts for medical monitors and stuff. He does all their multi-page sales sheets and assembly instructions. The company makes him create everything in Word...so the engineers can make edits to the instructions in case he's not in the office.
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Los Angeles
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by design219
My new favorite:
“I understand that you prefer to use photoshop, but we don’t feel like that program is universal enough. If you could do all of the design work in Microsoft Paint it would be easier for us to edit what you do and give you an idea of the changes we want.”
That has to be a joke.
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"The natural progress of things is for liberty to yield and government to gain ground." TJ
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: inside 128, north of 90
Status:
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You sir have never gotten mockups done in paint, powerpoint, or word. It's enough to make you hand out napkins.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Big Mac
That has to be a joke.
I assure you, sir, that's a good day with the client.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: here
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
Wow. That's a good one. And completely believable.
My half-brother works for some company out in California that makes racks and portable mounts for medical monitors and stuff. He does all their multi-page sales sheets and assembly instructions. The company makes him create everything in Word...so the engineers can make edits to the instructions in case he's not in the office.
...and he had to stand on one leg while he was doing it and sing Jingle Bells backwards.
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Posting Junkie
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Colorado
Status:
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I'm not into graphic design much, but that's an awesome read.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Minneapolis, MN U.S.A.
Status:
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
This one has been making the rounds lately. Thought it would be apropos here.
I would have found this to be hilarious had I not lived in the past. Instead, I weep openly.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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The past? You mean those days when clients and creators worked together for a common goal? Yeah, I miss those days, too.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Minneapolis, MN U.S.A.
Status:
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Originally Posted by Thorzdad
The past? You mean those days when clients and creators worked together for a common goal? Yeah, I miss those days, too.
Yes, that's the mythical time of which I speak.
(
Last edited by art_director; Dec 14, 2009 at 02:55 PM.
Reason: Correct typo)
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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Aye. Those were mystikal ages, to be sure. When the gods of design walked this land. We still sing of those heady times around the fires, to the lamentations of the younglings who shall never know the glory of such an age.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Minneapolis, MN U.S.A.
Status:
Offline
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And let us not forget our patron saint, Ms. Ruby Lith.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
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And her sister Amber.
Ah...I remember fondly those days spent riding the Proportion Wheel
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Minneapolis, MN U.S.A.
Status:
Offline
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Oh how I miss stat cameras.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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Oh yeah.
Rapidiograph pens.
Letraset press type.
Type gauges (still have a couple of those around here somewhere)
Type specimen books from actual type houses.
Paper reps.
Cold-press board.
Waxers.
Markers, markers, markers.
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: inside 128, north of 90
Status:
Offline
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Ok you two, keep it on topic or else I'm moving you to a new thread called "Old people remember using rocks, chisel".
And then I'll post in it about the lovely smell of Benzine, and the joys of a clean light table.
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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I can't say I've ever seen a CLEAN light table.
Wanna talk about t-squares and circle templates?
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: UKland
Status:
Offline
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I submitted one but they didn't seem to like it.
Brief was to design a series of covers for children's puzzle books (12 in total) using bright primary colours.
Client: You seem to have used the same colours again on more than one cover
Me: Well, there are only so many bright primary colours
Client: Well you're the designer, can't you make up some new ones?
Me: Thud!
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This space for Hire! Reasonable rates. Reach an audience of literally dozens!
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Clinically Insane
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: San Diego, CA, USA
Status:
Offline
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Chuck
___
"Instead of either 'multi-talented' or 'multitalented' use 'bisexual'."
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Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Nobletucky
Status:
Offline
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That's a good one. I've heard all of those from clients. "Pop" is always a favorite term of love. I redesigned the logo for one of my former employers. The CEO had his wife chime-in. Her solution? Add lots of arrows. Arrows make everything dynamic and show communication.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Southern California
Status:
Offline
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Ugh.
At least I have the talk of rapidographs and light tables to make me happy.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Oct 2004
Status:
Offline
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__________________________________________________
My stupid iPhone game: Nesen Probe, it's rather old, annoying and pointless, but it's free.
Was free. Now it's gone. Never to be seen again.
Off to join its brother and sister apps that could not
keep up with the ever updating iOS. RIP Nesen Probe.
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Moderator
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: inside 128, north of 90
Status:
Offline
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Forum Rules
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