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Lawyer Jokes
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Baninated
Join Date: Sep 2005
Status:
Offline
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Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Two. All the rest are true.
God decided to take the Devil to court to settle their differences once and for all.
When informed of this Satan smiled.
God asked him why he was so happy.
Satan replied, "where do you think you're going to find an attorney?"
A man is sent to his FINAL destination where he will be tormented for the rest of eternity.
While being escorted by the Devil to his appointed torment he passed a man he recognized sitting in a nice room making out with a beautiful blonde.
"Hey, that's my old attorney," said the man, "how come HE gets to spend Eternity with a beautiful woman and I'm going to spend it in some unearthly torment?"
Satan poked him with his pitchfork and said, "who are YOU to question that woman's punishment?"
(
Last edited by marden; Oct 27, 2005 at 11:54 AM.
Reason: Misspelling)
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Addicted to MacNN
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: BFE
Status:
Offline
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Q: What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean.
A: A good start.
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I'm a bird. I am the 1% (of pets).
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: ------>
Status:
Offline
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Harriet Miers was nominated by Bush for the Supreme Court.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Baltimore
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by BlueSky
Harriet Miers' nomination was withdrawn by Bush for the Supreme Court.
Fixed.
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: ------>
Status:
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Thanks for that breaking news.
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Professional Poster
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Chicago
Status:
Offline
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Yeah yeah lawyer jokes are hilarious.
More hilarious though is when one of you have a situation where you need legal counsel or get into trouble and then you have to pay one hundreds of dollars an hour to fix your mistake. Its pretty funny when you have to sign the check.
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Barack Obama: Four more years of the Carter Presidency
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Mac Elite
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Status:
Offline
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Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer on the road?
...There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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"In a world without walls or fences, what need have we for windows or gates?"
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Baninated
Join Date: Sep 2005
Status:
Offline
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Originally Posted by Captain Obvious
Yeah yeah lawyer jokes are hilarious.
More hilarious though is when one of you have a situation where you need legal counsel or get into trouble and then you have to pay one hundreds of dollars an hour to fix your mistake. Its pretty funny when you have to sign the check.
That's one of the reasons for the jokes. The hundreds or thousands of dollars it costs and what the lawyers do to earn it. Not knowing you, (If you are an attorney) you are probably one of the good ones. Everything I said I meant to say it's about the others.
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Mac Enthusiast
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Up in ya
Status:
Offline
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Q: What do lawyer's use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.
----- ----- ----- -----
Q: Why is it that california is full of lawyers and New Jersy is a toxic waste dump.
A: Jersey had first choice.
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