[ankle_brains]

some people have to drink coffee in the mornings, some must have it after a meal. others drink it like it's water all the time.

how many people drink coffee here on a regular basis? how do you like it served? are you addicted? why?

i am not a big fan of coffee myself.

what about you?

[gorickey]

Originally posted by ankle_brains:
are you addicted? why?

Why yes...yes I am! Why? Not sure, I'm bored I suppose...and I like green stars...

As far as coffee goes, I hate dirty water and prefer some nice Dr. Pepper to get me high on caffeine...

[Mastrap]

Camden Town, London. 1969


The Flat.


A few shafts of sunlight sneak through the curtains and illuminate a living room. Victorian heirlooms, antique furniture and a pair of iceskates. Empty bottles everywhere. Marwood is in a chair, smoking a cigarette and sweating anxiety. Looks at his thumbs. He gets up gingerly and walks into a kitchen full of bottles, washing up and dead flowers in black water. He lights the stove and dumps the kettle on it. Now he's down the stairs and at Withnail's door, knocking.

Marwood:

I'm having a cup of tea, do you want one?



No response.

Marwood:

Do you want a cup of tea Withnail?

Withnail:

No.



He can't stay in this house anymore. He leaves, slamming the door behind him.



The Cafe


Marwood is reading a paper at a table in the cafe. The proprietor is frying eggs; they flap in a quarter inch of grease. She lifts one out, slaps it into a sandwich and places it in front of an derelict old woman. The sandwich is bitten and yolk pours onto the plate. Marwood turns his attention to another's newspaper; headline: "Love made up my mind, I had to become a woman". He looks around at the other customers with horror in his eyes.

Marwood [mentally]:

Thirteen million Londoners have to cope with this, and baked beans and All-bran and rape? And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. I must be out of my mind. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth.




The Flat


Marwood stumbles up the barely lit stairs looking unwell. Withnail emerges from his room holding a bottle and glass and follows him. Looking sicker than Marwood, he has nevertheless dressed for the occasion; brogues and tweed. When he speaks he gives away an aristocratic education.

Withnail:

I have some extremely distressing news.

Marwood:

I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything. My God, it's a nightmare out there I tell you, a nightmare.

Withnail [pouring the last from his bottle]:

We've just run out of wine. What are we going to do about it?

Marwood:

I don't know, I don't know. I don't feel good.



They follow each other into the living room. Marwood has forgotten about the kettle and the room is filling with steam. Marwood catches himself in the mirror as he passes.

Marwood:

Look! My thumbs have gone weird. I'm in the middle of a ****ing overdose. My heart's beating like a ****ed clock. I feel dreadful, I feel ****ing dreadful.

Withnail:

So do I. So does everyone. [Inspects his tongue in the mirror] Look at my tongue. It's wearing a yellow sock. Sit down for Christ's sake, what's the matter with you? Eat some sugar.



Withnail collapses on the sofa with a newspaper. Marwood is in the kitchen fighting the vapour. Withnail gets up and starts following him around, reading from the paper.

Withnail:

Listen to this. "Curse of the Supermen: I took drugs to win medal says top athlete Jeff Wode."

Marwood [not listening, looking for something]:

Where's the coffee?

Withnail:

"In a world exclusive interview, thirty three year old shot putter Jeff Wode, who weighs three hundred and seventeen pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act daft' said his wife. 'He used to pick on me. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life'."



I pours water from the kettle into a bowl and goes back into the living room. Withnail follows, becoming interested in the newspaper story.

Withnail:

Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. Jeff Wode is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about. [Waves the paper at Marwood] Look at him. Look at Jeff Wode. His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own.



Withnail stands in front of a mirror, combing his lank hair back. Marwood sits on the sofa and spoons coffee from the bowl. Withnail is becoming fascinated by Jeff Wode.

Withnail:

Imagine the size of his balls. Imagine getting into a fight with the ****er!

Marwood:

Please, I don't feel good.

Withnail:

That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Jeff. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Add spice to it. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. [Starts acting out the scene in his head] "I'm going to pull your head off". "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off". "I'm going to pull your head off because I don't like your head."



He sees Marwood drinking from the bowl.

Withnail:

Have you got soup? Why didn't I get any soup?

Marwood:

Coffee.

Withnail:

Why don't you use a cup like any other human being?

Marwood:

Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being?

Withnail [rising to the challenge]:

How dare you? How dare you! How dare you call me inhumane?

Marwood:

I didn't call you inhumane. You merely imagined it. Calm down.

Withnail:

Right you ****er. I'm going to do the washing up!



He strides towards the kitchen. Marwood jumps up and tries to pacify him.

Marwood:

No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear to you. I've looked into it. Listen to me, listen to me. There are things in there, there's a tea bag growing. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Wait until the morning and we'll go in together.

Withnail:

This is the morning. Stand aside!

Marwood [restraining Withnail]:

You don't understand. I think there may be something alive.

Withnail:

What do you mean? A rat?

Marwood:

It's possible, it's possible.

Withnail [brandishing his comb]:

Then the ****er will rue the day!



He rushes to the sink and is immediately repelled by the horrific reality that confronts him .

Withnail:

Oh Christ Almighty. Sinew in nicotine base. Keep back, keep back. The entire sink's gone rotten. I don't know what's in here.



He picks up the white-hot kettle from the stove and hurls it immediately into the sink.

Marwood:

I told you. You've been bitten!

Withnail:

Burnt, burnt, the ****ing kettle's on fire!

Marwood [transfixed by the contents of the sink]:

There's something floating up.

Withnail [wielding cutlery]:

Fork it!

Marwood:

No, no. I don't want to touch it.

Withnail:

You must, you must. That poop will bore through the glaze. We'll never be able to use the dinner service again. [Rumaging through a drawer] Here, get it with the pliers.

Marwood:

No, no. Give me the gloves.

Withnail:

That's right, put on the gloves. Don't attempt anything without the gloves.



Marwood moves things about in the sink about. Naso-visual horror.

Withnail:

What is it? What have you found?

Marwood:

Matter.

Withnail:

Matter? Where's it coming from?

Marwood:

Don't look, don't look. I'm dealing with it.

Withnail [surrendering to the situation and walking away]:

I think we've been in here too long. I feel unusual. I think we should go outside.

[theolein]

I've heard caffeine enemas work wonders for the mentally constipated.

[Lerkfish]

I was actually going to comment on getting tired of these types of threads, but then the triple team of gorickey, mastrap and theolein made me laugh, so I guess there is still some value to inanity, if for no other reason than it stirs up creativity in those attempting to fight it.

[GoGoReggieXPowars]

Originally posted by Mastrap:
Marwood

I've only seen the movie, and didn't know his name was Marwood. Genius.

Remember: Never mix your drinks!

[benign]

There are two types of coffee.

Coffee for lovers of it and
milky poop for those who don't.

Starbucks serves the latter.




This kind of thing makes a lot of
sense - windows equals starbucks.

[driven]

I drink 8-10 cups daily.
I get massive headaches if I don't get at least a few cups in me.
(I don't know if that qualifys for addiction or not, I think it's just a chemical dependence.)

As for starbucks ... I call that "burnt" coffee. I'm a Dunkin Donuts man myself.

[Stradlater]

Originally posted by benign:
This kind of thing makes a lot of
sense - windows equals starbucks.

No, Starbucks isn't for true lovers of fine coffee, but I'll disagree with you anyways just because your posts with pictures and analogies are always so moronic.

[effgee]

Originally posted by ankle_brains:
how many of you drink coffee? why?

Because recent threads about morning beverages, hair color and/or underwear bore the bejeebus outta me and I gotta stay awake and work.

*getsuptogetmorecoffee*

[wdlove]

I have been drinking coffee since childhood, it was my grandmother the introduced me to coffee. My Mother would only allow me to have it at home on holidays. Always like to talk my grandmother into a second cup.

Now I have 2 cups every morning. I'm a real Starbucks fan, great coffee. Drinking coffee has become a habit. I so lament that coffee doesn't taste the way it smells.

[Kenneth]

I like Starbucks coffee, their beans are much better than the other on supermarkets. I believe many Washingtonians love Starbucks.

Don't make this thread to anti-Starbucks.

I brew coffee at home.

[John B. Smith]

I hear that Starbuck's is opening a "caf�" in Paris in the next year or so. I bet the French will love it, especially when considering how much they appreciate and respect foreign cultures.

[C.J. Moof]

*shudder* Charbucks. That's all I have to say.

I get my coffee from a local coffeeshop where I know the owners, who are also the folks who buy and roast all the beans they use. They personally supervise the roasts to make sure they're good, and I'm rarely dissapointed. I rarely like coffee I get anywhere else, so they've got a loyal customer in me.

One cup made in my moka pot, from quality beans is suffeccient for me. Quality over quantity.

[JHromadka]

I have 1-2 cups in the morning on work days, and sometimes I'll have one after dinner.

[bradoesch]

I've never tried coffee. To me, coffee is about as useful as soda pop. It's alright for a treat, but drinking it every day doesn't seem healthy. I don't want to risk being dependant on it, so I decided to never start drinking it. If I'm tired in the mornings, I go to bed earlier. Rarely I'll drink a can of Coke if I need a jump start in the morning.

[benign]

Originally posted by Stradlater:
:rolleyes:

No, Starbucks isn't for true lovers of fine coffee, but I'll disagree with you anyways just because your posts with pictures and analogies are always so moronic.

You englanders can be an
uptight snotty bunch.
Have a break, have a nice cuppa.

Even if pale fire is OK.
Kafka's a better writer
than Nabo.

[DeathToWindows]

One espresso at 7:00am

Black as pitch, hot has hell

[talisker]

Originally posted by John B. Smith:
I hear that Starbuck's is opening a "caf�" in Paris in the next year or so. I bet the French will love it, especially when considering how much they appreciate and respect foreign cultures.

I expect they will, given that they love McDonalds enough for it to have approx. 1000 restaurants in France. I know "the French are w*nkers" is an underlying tenet of the American education system for some reason, but cast aside your blinkered xenophobia and you'll see that they're perfectly willing to appreciate and respect foreign cultures.

Mind you Starbucks may have a harder time in France purely because traditionally it's easy to get good coffee there anyway, in comparison with the USA and UK for example which generally serve sh*te.

[dlefebvre]

Originally posted by John B. Smith:
I hear that Starbuck's is opening a "caf�" in Paris in the next year or so. I bet the French will love it, especially when considering how much they appreciate and respect foreign cultures.

They're used to drink much better coffe than Starbuck's.

[quandarry]

tonite i'm drinking lye.

i can't take it anymore..
i've been beaten to a gurgling pulp of humanity.